Derc Plays Through World History

[Kilo11]

This is an exceedingly good update! From the cool info about Bernadotte to Michel Ney's silly antics to agents shooting themselves in the face, this really has it all. I also quite liked the cat-and-mouse with Nelson's crew (I am eagerly awaiting the final showdown with the British at sea; it will surely be awesome!).


Regarding your last comments, what the heck is Franzbranntwein, and where on yourself did you rub it? I'm just wondering if this is something I should try myself

[Cookiegod]

agents shooting themselves in the face

That's how I lost my nose.

[Alwyn]

Great updates! I like the phrasing, for example about the fate of the subjugators of Poland and your Napoleonic style, such as when you talk about science in time of war.

[Turkafinwë]

In my experience in most TW games agents their actions are pretty useless (expect the poison army ability in Rome 2 before they nerfed it, that was OP).

It inspired me somewhat. I feel a bit old lately, so I "did the Blücher" and rubbed myself with some weird stuff called 'Franzbranntwein' while having a shot of Pernod. Was a slight relief for body and soul, and funny enough quite fitting to the atmosphere of this campaign.

Sometimes you've just got to spice things up to keep life interesting.

And just another reason to make war. Totally worth it, in this case.

Absolutely.

[Derc]

Napoleon: Total War
Napoleon's Campaigns
#8

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The troops were ordered to take Galicia, tasked to conquer some city starting with 'L' somewhere in this location. The troops in the east took Lemberg/Lviv. The troops in the west, well ... there was a huge misunderstanding. Doesn't matter. The Portuguese were allies of the English anyway. Egypt is an interesting land, but Greece was just as ancient and interesting. For the first time in centuries, Greek people were free from Turkish rule. But not free entirely. *giggles* With most obstacles out of the side, it was finally time to take the war to the Russians. This is a wide, empty land. The warfare would be very different from what French troops were used to. With the invasion in Russia starting, it was the perfect time for little snakes to bite the eagle. But eagles have sharp beaks, and no problems to pick up on snakes. Further advancements in Russia. Napoleon underestimated the harsh winter in Russia. He lost more men to winter attrition than to the Russians. The Russians themselve made sure to leave nothing worth of use behind. Napoleon was very lucky that winter had just ended. It might have resulted in catastrophe otherwise. The war with the Ottomans and the Austrians, although reduced to Transylvania alone, was still raging. It had to end. He underestimated what a thorn in his side they would be. He also underestimated the dreaded Danish. The Ottomans fought with all they got. They would not allow the French to advance any further. They could not stop the inevitable. The war with the Ottomans, at last, is finished. The city of the world's desire is in French hands. First Egypt, now Europe. The Ottoman Empire has been reduced to Anatolia alone. The sick man is left to his fate. Only the third Rome, Moscow, remains. 📝 Authors Note Back then Istanbul was still known as Constantinople. The war against Russia was going well. City after city fell. Some even surrendered without a fight. The front drew ever closer towards Moscow. Advance in Ruthenia. The Russians were cut off from the Black Sea. Bavarians were amassing a lot of men. Why? There was no reason. Napoleon watched this carefully. 📝 Authors Note Thüringerwald is no settlement, by the way. It's a forest. And it's not even in Bavaria, but in, well, Thuringia. It took countless wars, countless peace treaties. Finally it was done. The Austrians fought fircely, Napoleon had to give them credit for that. In the end they died in the darkness of Transylvania. 📝 Authors Note Not really dark. I actually think Transylvania is rather beautiful. Spoiler Alert, click show to read:  That's castle Bran. Also known as Dracula's castle. Looks can be deceiving, aye. The defeated lay in the mud, while the victor revelled in glory. What better time to finish this glorious monument? Weekly Dose of (Anti-)Napoleonic Propaganda Russian Amusement or the Corsican Football Caricature showcasing Napoleon having a hard time with the Russian.

This is an exceedingly good update! From the cool info about Bernadotte to Michel Ney's silly antics to agents shooting themselves in the face, this really has it all.

Actually learned something from this chapter. Knew I've heard the name 'Bernadotte' before. House Bernadotte is still in power to this day. King Carl Gustaf XVI is a Bernadotte, which explains a lot, maybe even his love for funny hats. By doing so he is a living meme, and a spoiler for the next campaign. Still a bit to go, btw. Told you guys this will be one heck of a long campaign.

The duelling videos are directly from Empire Total War:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

And yeah, they're funny and a good tradition, but I don't miss them too much.

I also quite liked the cat-and-mouse with Nelson's crew (I am eagerly awaiting the final showdown with the British at sea; it will surely be awesome!).

The heck, how'd you know...!? Too predictable, it seems. But believe me, there will still be some twists. Sure as hell Cookie will give some mean comment to them.

Regarding your last comments, what the heck is Franzbranntwein, and where on yourself did you rub it? I'm just wondering if this is something I should try myself

Around 96% alcohol, the rest Methanol, pine oil mostly. Some etheric stuff. Put it on the back, the arms, your knees, or wherever your muscles play games on you. Just don't put it in your eyes or on some certain flexible muscle.
In 2020 we should be used to rubbing alcohol on us anyway, right?

Nah, seriously. Good for muscle cramps and the like. This has gotten out of the hand.

That's how I lost my nose.

Here we have it. Cookiegod is the Sphinx. That, or his uncle stole his nose and never gave it back.

Great updates! I like the phrasing, for example about the fate of the subjugators of Poland and your Napoleonic style, such as when you talk about science in time of war.

WWII and the Cold War might've best shown that wars act like fuel to science. Dumb, yet logical.

In my experience in most TW games agents their actions are pretty useless (expect the poison army ability in Rome 2 before they nerfed it, that was OP).

Never had the 'honor' to get to know it. Bless me.

Sometimes you've just got to spice things up to keep life interesting.

Life is what you make of it.

The illustrious Derc!

Another thing. In a stroke of ingenuity I got the idea to connect avatar, and perhaps signature with the current era of this AAR. A savage bum might fit for every campaign, escpecially the next one, but, well, whatever can be done to add a little extra flavour might be fun. Figured the structure of the AAR fits nicely for childish stuff like that. #TheEverShiftingDerc

[Cookiegod]

Some historical fun fact: That the Russian army burned every thing down before Napoleon's army came is a bit of a myth. They burned down their own stored grains etc. obviously, since that's common sense, but private owned stuff wasn't really touched. The scorched earth wasn't an organised thing. Many civilians too destroyed their own stuff or gave it away before the Napoleonic army could take it. We have, for example, from after the battle of Borodino and right before the French taking the city, that many merchants asked the withdrawing Russian forces to loot their stores.

So obviously the French ability to live of the land was significantly reduced on their way there, but not completely gone. Then the very little known battle of Maloyaroslavets happened, which might well have destroyed Napoleons future without anyone knowing about it. Napoleon wanting to take a different route back home from Moscow, had to take the same one as a result of that small battle, even though his troops (he wasn't even present) technically won. So the grande Armée had to take the almost exact same route back they had taken in, and oh look, remember all that stuff that was there on our way in? Well we already ate it all.

--

I'm content that the Danes appear to have been the first ones beating you. I look forward to them absolutely crushing you and conquering their way through world history

[Kilo11]

Loved it! In particular, your comments after this update were much fun to read.

The duelling videos are directly from Empire Total War:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

And yeah, they're funny and a good tradition, but I don't miss them too much.

I absolutely love the one where the guy throws his pistol! That is some Monty Python level ridiculousness, and made me literally laugh out loud. Well done CA!

The heck, how'd you know...!? Too predictable, it seems. But believe me, there will still be some twists. Sure as hell Cookie will give some mean comment to them.

Oh, I am sure there will be. I will eagerly the final battle there and Cookie's mean responses

Around 96% alcohol, the rest Methanol, pine oil mostly. Some etheric stuff. Put it on the back, the arms, your knees, or wherever your muscles play games on you. Just don't put it in your eyes or on some certain flexible muscle.

Dang. Sounds like poison. I bet Cook loves the stuff

I'm content that the Danes appear to have been the first ones beating you. I look forward to them absolutely crushing you and conquering their way through world history

Pssh. The Danes couldn't conquer a cupcake. I foresee Derc having a rollicking good time burning Zeeland and pillaging Dan's Mark.

[Alwyn]

Great update! When I played as Napoleon, I took Britain before invading Russia because I was worried that, if I didn't, the British would land and I'd struggle to fight them and the Russians at the same time. When France is sending its formidable armies against east against Russia and north against Denmark, I wonder if you're vulnerable to an attack from the west - or if French fleets and armies are already preparing to end the threat of Britain?

[Turkafinwë]

The sick man is left to his fate.

Please. My Turk. He's very sick.

Thüringerwald is no settlement, by the way. It's a forest. And it's not even in Bavaria, but in, well, Thuringia.

So much for German efficiency. Logging a forest that's half a country away.

Not really dark. I actually think Transylvania is rather beautiful.

That's an absolutely stunning picture. I hope that one day I can visit it.

#TheEverShiftingDerc

The Many Faced God

[Derc]

Napoleon: Total War
Napoleon's Campaigns
#9

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Damned Danish never lost their viking blood. They destroyed one french trade fleet after another. L'empereur grew increasingly annoyed by this little nation. He ordered a full scale invasion. The Danish are seafarers. On land they were no match for the French. The little town of Copenhagen fell to France, and it was clear what to do with it. ⚙️ Authors Note - Technical The size of settlements is a joke compared to Rome II and later titles. Now was the time to consolidate power in Central Europe. Even Napoleon's allies thought he had overstepped the line this time. He put his own brother Joseph on the Spanish throne, and this is how he thanked him? Rumors were that the growing discontent in Spain left him no other choice, nearly losing his throne in a coup d'état. Joseph had to choose between his brother and the throne. He chose the latter. 🎭 Funfact Joseph Bonaparte, in a propaganda flyer dubbed "Pepe Botella" - "Joseph in a bottle", literally depicting how little power he truly held. Historically, Joseph became king of Spain in 1808. This is the only Total War where you can destroy Switzerland. Let's appreciate it - by denying them a manual battle. The Swedes, also enemies of Russia, took St. Petersburg from them. That doesn't mean they were allies of France. The situation was becoming increasingly confusing. Dissent against British colonialism in India. France approves. 📕 History & Culture It was around that time when the British East India Company tightened the noose around India. Around the 1820's most of India was under British control. That might have gone differently if the French Campaign in Egypt succeeded. Hearing news about the subjugation of Sardinia took Napoleon back to his early days. Dear lord. How much the world had changed since then. Because of him, the man from Corsica. General Ney disposed of the Danish government in Norway, giving the Norwegians back their freedom. Just kidding. I misclicked, lol. ⚙️ Authors Note - Technical There are no noteworthy penalties from such an act of utter betrayal, as far as I've seen. Even if there would be: diplomacy is pretty useless in NTW. Russia tried to change the situation one last time. For some reason they madly wanted to hold onto Galicia. The Bavarians were daring enough to attack Vienna and to demand its surrender. They got what they wanted, but they lost their own homeland a short while later. Fair trade. While General Ney was busy conquering Norway, the Swedes took Denmark. Ney immediately tried to retake it, but failed. Once again Vienna had to be freed from beerdrinking, arrogant backwater savages. A russian navy is found and sunk outside the map. Curious. Galicia became the most heavily contested region of the war, leading to utter chaos in the region. Basically speaking, nothing has changed over there. Science continued to make breaktroughs on a radical pace. Was this, perhaps, the dawn of a new age? Is a new revolution coming? An industrial one, maybe? The French Empire was consolidating its power just as fast. It absorbed the Cisalpine Republic, founded back by Napoleon during his Italy campaign, and ultimately desposed the pope of any political power. The world was shocked. It would be shocked even more when France's brand new navy would succeed in its upcoming task. Taking out Nelson would leave the British Isles defenceless. This is a bold undertaking, and was about to be the biggest naval feat of the entire war. The British navy. Truly a dreadful sight so every Frenchman. The battle did not start well and it was clear the British had the upper hand - had it not been for the countless reinforcements that the French sent. The enemy had to be taken out, no matter the cost. Even a most capable Admiral like Nelson has no chance against numbers, being swarmed from every side. Most of the British and French navy were lying on the bottom of the ocean at the end of the day. This was by far the most expensive and most exhausting battle of the entire war. But the price was worth it. The British Isles finally became a reachable target. Weekly Dose of (Anti-)Napoleonic Propaganda The Plumb-pudding in danger Carricature by James Gillray depicting British Prime Minister William Pitt and Napoleon devouring the world, criticizing British and French imperialism.

*Russian stuff*

Very interesting read, thanks. Yeah, it's things like this that can decide everything.

I absolutely love the one where the guy throws his pistol! That is some Monty Python level ridiculousness, and made me literally laugh out loud. Well done CA!

There are quite some few Monty Python references hidden in most TW games.

Dang. Sounds like poison. I bet Cook loves the stuff

Pssh. The Danes couldn't conquer a cupcake. I foresee Derc having a rollicking good time burning Zeeland and pillaging Dan's Mark.

If that stuff didn't kill him, this chapter most likely did.

Great update! When I played as Napoleon, I took Britain before invading Russia because I was worried that, if I didn't, the British would land and I'd struggle to fight them and the Russians at the same time. When France is sending its formidable armies against east against Russia and north against Denmark, I wonder if you're vulnerable to an attack from the west - or if French fleets and armies are already preparing to end the threat of Britain?

France planned to end Great Britain from since turn 1 and long before.
I left them alone on purpose, to see how many times they would invade. Except for that attack two chapters ago, nothing much came from their direction. Their invasion came to a fairly bad time and in a surprising location, I have to admit that. But you can spam so many units in Paris in a single turn, it's just too easy to defend France.
Also, a France Europe campaign without the English? That'd kill immersion, imo.

Please. My Turk. He's very sick.

Turk - the sick man of TWC

So much for German efficiency. Logging a forest that's half a country away.

Bavarians are no Germans.

That's an absolutely stunning picture. I hope that one day I can visit it.

I heard Dracula is a very welcoming man.

The Many Faced God

If I would be a deity, then I would most likely be some male equivalent to Cloacina.
I leave being a deity to Cookiegod.

[Turkafinwë]

It's oddly satisfying to see the Swiss go down. Those greedy goldmunchers high and mighty in their mountains.

The Swedes, also enemies of Russia, took St. Petersburg from them.

Swedes in St. Petersburg? Carolus Rex would be proud. [Sabaton-ing intensifies]

A russian navy is found and sunk outside the map. Curious.

It's obvious the map creators of NTW were fervent flat-earthers.

Turk - the sick man of TWC

I'm stealing that one *yoink*

I heard Dracula is a very welcoming man.

I heard rumors he's got something special for Turks exclusively. Something about bikes? Can't remember properly. Probably not important.

[Kilo11]

So good to finally see Nelson get his licks. And I love that you totally surrounded him with reinforcements beforehand. You sure weren't taking any chances. And after seeing the battle, I understand why!

Bavarians are no Germans.

They indeed aren't, and thank CookieGod for that. The world does not need any more Germans, and I am happy to see them all be Bavarians, Hessians, Thuringians, or whatever. Except for Saxons, we don't need them either

[Cookiegod]

Much can be forgiven C. Letting Copenhagen fall to the Swedish?! Ugh.

Well I'm happy at least that they made Copenhagen up to scale.

Imagine having to attack this:
With multiple lakes ensuring you have to cross chokepoints before you even get close to the walls.

Historically, the English attacked Copenhagen twice during Napoleons era. Both times to seize the Danish navy, so that Napoleon wouldn't have it. The first time consisted of a naval attack when the Danish fleet was anchored and didn't even have sails up (so they were immobile), and the English were so surprised that the overall commander, Sir Hyde Parker, sounded a retreat, and this would have meant a British defeat, if it hadn't been for one Horatio Nelson, who ignored his boss's demand.

He turned to his flag captain, Thomas Foley, and said "You know, Foley, I only have one eye — I have the right to be blind sometimes," and then, holding his telescope to his blind eye, said "I really do not see the signal!"

Anyway, the Brits won, Nelson's career took off, and a couple of years later the British were back, again without declaration of war, this time landing troops under the command of the duke of Wellington whilst the majority of the Danish army was guarding the border against a possible French attack. Copenhagen had the honour of being the first city to be subjected to a rocket bombardment and burned down.

Denmark was forced into an alliance with the French, went bankrupt, had to hand over Norway to Sweden, which had sided against Napoleon, and lost its fleet to the perfidious English.

[Kilo11]

Historically, the English attacked Copenhagen twice during Napoleons era. Both times to seize the Danish navy, so that Napoleon wouldn't have it. The first time consisted of a naval attack when the Danish fleet was anchored and didn't even have sails up (so they were immobile), and the English were so surprised that the overall commander, Sir Hyde Parker, sounded a retreat, and this would have meant a British defeat, if it hadn't been for one Horatio Nelson, who ignored his boss's demand.

He turned to his flag captain, Thomas Foley, and said "You know, Foley, I only have one eye — I have the right to be blind sometimes," and then, holding his telescope to his blind eye, said "I really do not see the signal!"

That is the best quote/story I have heard in a while, and gives me a great respect for Nelson and his antics!

Anyway, the Brits won, Nelson's career took off, and a couple of years later the British were back, again without declaration of war, this time landing troops under the command of the duke of Wellington whilst the majority of the Danish army was guarding the border against a possible French attack. Copenhagen had the honour of being the first city to be subjected to a rocket bombardment and burned down.

Denmark was forced into an alliance with the French, went bankrupt, had to hand over Norway to Sweden, which had sided against Napoleon, and lost its fleet to the perfidious English.

To quote a song from a great (albeit British ) TV show: "...something about the cliffs and a girl with gold and black hair and the English all being bad!"

[Cookiegod]

Coming uninvited overseas to raid and burn and pillage... I mean who does that?!

[Derc]

Napoleon: Total War
Napoleon's Campaigns
#10

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Sicily is the last remaining nation around Italy. Let's finish this. With Sicily taken out, French influence in the Mediterranean east of Spain was absolute, and the trade routes were safe. Sweden failed to combine its forces and such was easy prey. Another chapter was about to be concluded. French troops landed on the Balearic Islands. Their ships got destroyed by the Spanish fleet shortly after, but what does it matter? Forces on the mainland are underway and Spain would soon about to be history. ⚙️ Authors Note - Technical The movement range of navies is so insanely high that you basically do not need a navy. Just get a single ship, fill it with a fullstack, avoid enemy navies, land your troops, and take the enemy nation out. CA did this better in later titles. The Spanish were much stronger than thought. And they were furious. Nothing guns couldn't solve. Madrid was in reach, but it would still not present itself on a platter. Once again the air had to be filled with smoke and blood. Napoleon underestimated the Spanish by a lot. They were on par with the British and the Prussians. Let's give these fine guys some credit. Line Infantry made up most of the war, as it did in reality. Science has come so far to allow the creation of mechanized vehicle. These so called 'locomotives' are much faster and can carry much more weigth than horses could ever do. Journeys that take weeks or even months would only take days. The whole world would become just a village. Madness! With Nelson out of the way and most of the British navy in the depths, a full-scale invasion of Britain finally became a reality. Oh how long France had waited for this moment. Let's take the Dutch with them. Every major British city was put under siege at the same time. Insanity! Both Great Britain and the Batavian Republic fell in only a couple of days. No one in the world could grasp what was going on right in that moment. ⚙️ Authors Note - Technical Seriously, roflstomping entire regions like that should not be possible. I would not even have been required to destroy the British fleet. All one needs to do is to park several armies around enemy cities, attack them all at once, and boom. The English low classes then went on with their casual habits. Doesn't matter if it was their own government, or another. Things had do be done. Or not. Only Moscow remained. The troops were set into motion one last time. The Tzar faced them in the countryside near the capitol. He did not want to see his beloved Moscow being bombarded into pieces. The soldiers on both sides knew this might be the last battle in this war beyond measure. They would be the last to be covered in gunpoweder. No coming generation would need to endure what they had to endure. No generation evermore. The guns would be silent forever. It was but a faint wish, and many of them knew it; that this wouldn't be the war to end all wars. But for many, hope is a stronger force than realism. Napoleon reached his ultimate goal. Like Alexander, he marched against the hordes in the east, and has accomplished ultimate victory, now being able to dictate any peace he wants, reshaping the world as he sees fit. The little boy from Corsica did it! He left the warm, familiar shades of his olive trees behind, facing opposition and hardship that would have broken many men, now standing at the edges of Europe. Everything behind his back is his. It was late August, and yet still there was an eary chill echoing through the streets of Moscow. What lies in store for Napoleon, France and the rest of the world now, they asked. A good question indeed. Weekly Dose of (Anti-)Napoleonic Propaganda The Flying Sword Run Mad More British carricature, this time depicting Napoleon as a mad sword, appearing desperate and hapless in his quest for glory, leaving chaos behind. I often think these painters were mad themselves. The details of this picture are funny. Read the scrolls. Here's it in HD.

📘 Alternate History

Of course France wouldn't have kept the whole of Europe, had it reached ultimate victory. But the possibilites that would've come from such a victory were almost endless.

It can be said with certainty that the UK would've had less influence in the long 19th century, had Napoleon won - if it even stayed united. The first half of the century might've gone a bit different. Towards the end of the Industrial Revolution however, somewhere around 1850 or so, things might've mostly synchronized again. This was a rapid time, after all.

Perhaps France could have gotten even more out of Africa than it already did in reality, but the unification of Germany and Italy was most likely not stoppable, even if France had won. The biggest difference, in my opinion, would've been in India. With Great Britain losing, India, or at least some parts of it, might've managed to stay independent, even though they were most likely about to get attacked by France or someone else then.

🏠 House Rules & Special Goals

Unwritten Rules:

• Conquer the whole map - Check
• No exploits, hacks, etc. blah bla blubb - Check

Written ones:

• HON HON HON!: Show the faults of the engine by doing something really gamey - You guys have to decide that for yourselves
• Total Conquest+: Every single region in every campaign must be conquered - Check
• Cannonball: Kill a general with a cannon (doesn't matter if enemy or allied) - Failed - These things always missed

⭐ Conclusion: Napoleon - Napoleon's Campaigns

• The historically most well researched Total War with lots of historical information of units, building, technology, etc.
• Really immersive, lots of flavour
• Superb character portraits in neoclassic style
• Fantastic orchestral music
• Telling a story over different campaigns and on multiple maps was something refreshing
• Economic balance was okay, I guess
• A lot to research and stuff to read about technologies...
  

  ---

• ...Technologies are almost insignificant in terms of gameplay, however
• Still has many problems Empire Total War had. Especially that awful sound bug
• Diplomacy is forgettable
• Agents are not worth much in this game
• France is way too overpowered in autocalc
• To top that, one can spam massive amounts of units very easy
• Settlements are so small. Come on.
• Another Empire Total War sickness: The text in overlays is really hard to read
• Generic minor nations. Lots of wasted potential here

This TW is just completely different from the ones set in medieval or ancient times, of course. I think this isn't necesarrily bad. You are forced to use completely different tactics than you did in earlier eras.
The AI is ok compared to some other TWs, especially Empire. If you want a challenge, don't play France. Most of the times I could just roflstomp through the map however I saw fit. The game is much more challenging when you play a faction of the coalititon, especially a German one.

Nevertheless, this game sparked my interest in an era that I personally do not like that much, and I think the game itself is quite some fun. It's a step up from it's predecessor Empire, definitely. The atmosphere, thanks to the superb artstyle, all these texts, and the music especially, was incredible.

I'm stealing that one *yoink*

Haha, that gave me a good laugh when I saw it.

I heard rumors he's got something special for Turks exclusively. Something about bikes? Can't remember properly. Probably not important.

Must be spikes. Or spices. Perhaps his servants misinterpreted it when he said that he can't stand garlic, favouring a different kind of spicy things from the East instead.

So good to finally see Nelson get his licks. And I love that you totally surrounded him with reinforcements beforehand. You sure weren't taking any chances. And after seeing the battle, I understand why!

That guy is just overpowered, and I love it.

*Sad Danish stuff*

Poor Danish. That is indeed a brutal situation they found themselves in.

*Grundtegning af Kjøbenhavn*

Man, I would totally loved to invade that map. Imagine Empire/Napoleon with Rome II sized settlements, and proper star forts. So much collateral damage that can be done by cannons.

Coming uninvited overseas to raid and burn and pillage... I mean who does that?!

Illegal immigrants, tourists and archeologists.

[Alwyn]

Wow, Napoleon's defeat of Britain is impressively swift and comprehensive. Playing as France, I found that Britain was harder to keep than to take. If I remember correctly, a British rebellion with two stacks of good troops appeared soon after I took London. Maybe you avoided this by defeating them at the end of your campaign.

I agree with your assessment, it's a fun, immersive game, despite its shortcomings (such as that annoying sound bug.) I wonder if you have a next campaign in mind.

[Kilo11]

That was a brutally quick conclusion. In particular, I love that you felt the need to thwack Britain in one fell swoop. Give them the insulting loss they've always deserved

Regarding Spain, I feel like it was maybe just difficult because of when you attacked them. I mean, did you remember to hit them during siesta? Get 'em while they're all nappy and groggy? That's how I'd do it!

Written Rules:

HON HON HON!: Show the faults of the engine by doing something really gamey - You guys have to decide that for yourselves

Oh, I think you told us the answer to this: use the ridiculous reach of navies to do rapid invasions and avoid enemy fleets, right?

**Alternate History**

I definitely agree with your thoughts on this. France could not have kept it all together for any significant length of time. It just wouldn't have been possible. And I think the spreading sentiments of democracy across Europe would have created huge rifts that could not be closed. However, one thing I think might have been interestingly different is the rise of Communism across Europe. I know that virtually all societies had growing communist movements in the 19th century, and those were almost all forcefully stamped out by royalist groups. Without all these kings and princes in Europe anymore, it is possible communism might have taken a deeper hold of the continent than it did. I can see this leading to a more heavily democratic form of government across Europe than what we actually got, which was a mix of monarchy and democracy in most cases. At any rate, that is to my mind the thing that would have had the most potential to move in a different fashion, mainly because so much of it's spread and thought was impacted by those keeping it down at all costs.

[Turkafinwë]

I'm always happy to see the Dutch go down yet I'm conflicted because it is at the hands of the French. It's like a demon being roflstomped by the Devil.

Oh my God, could you imagine a universe where Indians spoke French. Now that is a cursed timeline.

Written Rules:

HON HON HON: Show the faults of the engine by doing something really gamey - You guys have to decide that for yourselves

I think you nailed that one splendidly. It would be a harder challenge not to tbh.

[Derc]

Things rarely go the way they are supposed to do. Napoleon forgot something. His idols all found a tragic end, as did the old world. Glory does not last forever.
Whatever happened, if this is a parallel universe or Napoleon's terms of peace cought up to him, in the mid of June 1815 he would stand on a battlefield once again. Napoleon fought many decisive battles, but this one was about to be the ultimate one. Everything would be decided in the fields of this small Belgian commune. Waterloo.

Napoleon: Total War
Napoleon's Campaigns
*BONUS*
#11
Waterloo, 18th of June 1815

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The situation looked unfavourable even before the battle began. The bad weather delayed the battle and gave the enemy an advantage. Napoleon was feeling sick. The English had the hill, and they were led by no lesser than a quite healthy Arthur Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington. The few buildings in this location were also taken over by coalition forces. It is clear that Napoleon had to conquer at least one building, or he would be surrounded. Which one to take? The enemy was prepared, and Napoleon had to be very careful. To make matters worse, it looked like Prussian reinforcement could not be intercepted. Grouchy failed. Prussian troops would probably arrive soon from the east, led by the crazy General Von Blücher. So the road to take was clear. Napoleon once again had to take a risk to prevent another risk. He rushed his forces east, taking Papelotte along the way. He was right. Blücher and his troops were closing in. French forces arrived just in time to welcome them. The Prussians had to be met with full force before they'd even have the chance to position themselves, no matter the cost. The tactic worked. Prussians were retreating as fast as they appeared. The price, however, was extremely high. Napoleon lost his cannons, his two trusted generals at his side, Ney and D'Erlon, and he himself got hurt. Catastrophe! This is Napoleon's darkest hour. The English didn't just watch, of course. They fell French forces in the back, seeing their ultimative chance. The Line Infantry held, even though it was wavering. Speed was of essence now! The Imperial Guard had to flank English forces before French Line infantry realized what had happened to their generals. British hope for a return of the Prussian forces was shattered, and so was their first line. An important step, and most likely just the prevention of French defeat. Perhaps Napoleon's darkest hour would turn out to also be his greatest, but it would undeniably have a bitter note. The tides had turned. Wellington was now the one that had to take risks. He ordered a full charge at the French forces before they could take La Haye Sainte. "Onwards, my fellow men! Oh ...!" The British were disorganized after the surprising French success. Wellington found himself surrounded by French bayonets. "This war is over, monsieur! Surrender at once!" He wouldn't. Surrendering was no option for him. He'd rather go down together with his most trusted men, doing one last deed for mother Britannia. One hell of a man. British and Dutch forces made a last stand. But with Wellington out, what does it matter to keep fighting? Why throw away one's life? They ran instead. The battle of Waterloo was over. Only every second man was lucky enough to see the end of a day. What a grisly sight. A sight just as gruesome as the tears of a mother or a wife when they have to hear about the passing of their loved ones. Mercy upon the man who had to bring the message. A sacrifice for the greater good. All was decided. Napoleon was injured, but he had won! France had won! Ultimate victory was ensured! Weekly Dose of (Anti-)Napoleonic Propaganda Napoleon’s Return from Elba Picture by Charles Steuben, 1818. Funny enough, most of the French population was still loyal to Napoleon, with many of Napoleon's friends still left in charge by the coalition forces. All Napoleon had to do was to return and reseize power. Almost insulting how history was given the chance to repeat itself once more. In the picture above is shown how the very men that were tasked to arrest Napoleon cheered him instead.

Come on, guys. No Napoleon Campaign is ever complete without Waterloo. I thought you would scold me, but nothing came. Not even from Cookiegod.

And for completeness's sake, lets also show the defeat ending.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

I think this one is much more tragic, and gives the campaign such a sour and much more realistic note.
I favor it over the victory one. Would've stuck with it, but "sadly" I won.


When I hear about Waterloo, I always have to think about that one episode from Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Spooky! At least it was back then. Today it's just funny fake news with that lovely, trashy 90's charme. Love it.

I agree with your assessment, it's a fun, immersive game, despite its shortcomings (such as that annoying sound bug.) I wonder if you have a next campaign in mind.

I have four or five campaigns until the next big break, the one after next ends right around Christmas. So everything is planned quite well. You guys still have to endure me a little while.

All these campaigns will have some specialities. One has a Co-Writer, so to speak, another one has a crazy challenge perhaps never shown in the history of TW, and yet another one will be completely interactive, as it is written while (re)playing it, thanks to lost saves.

The next campaign, however, will be simple, and more focussed on silly stuff instead of immersion. I have enough of these big, complex worked out campaigns with history focus for the time being. Need a lazy breather campaign once in a while.

Wow, Napoleon's defeat of Britain is impressively swift and comprehensive. Playing as France, I found that Britain was harder to keep than to take. If I remember correctly, a British rebellion with two stacks of good troops appeared soon after I took London. Maybe you avoided this by defeating them at the end of your campaign.

I wanted to end the campaign in Britain and Spain. It just felt the most realistic.
Keeping these regions is not that hard. Leave all armies there, refresh them, let it rebel one or two times, and you're good.

However...

That was a brutally quick conclusion. In particular, I love that you felt the need to thwack Britain in one fell swoop. Give them the insulting loss they've always deserved
Regarding Spain, I feel like it was maybe just difficult because of when you attacked them. I mean, did you remember to hit them during siesta? Get 'em while they're all nappy and groggy? That's how I'd do it!

...What I really missed is some kind of guerilla warfare mechanics, as Napoleon had to face them in his Peninsular campaign. There's a whole DLC for that campaign, just still not with the proper mechanics.

Oh, I think you told us the answer to this: use the ridiculous reach of navies to do rapid invasions and avoid enemy fleets, right?

Navies are just bananas. Almost everything you do with them ends up in something feeling broken. I never complained about unrealistic short movement points for navies in most other games after that.

Alt history stuff and Communism

Oh my, you're right. Communism would've spread everywhere.

I'm always happy to see the Dutch go down yet I'm conflicted because it is at the hands of the French. It's like a demon being roflstomped by the Devil.

What's the Dutch for you are the Bavarians for me or the Swedes for Cookie. I think we might all agree that some sacrifices are just not worth it.

Oh my God, could you imagine a universe where Indians spoke French. Now that is a cursed timeline.

I think you nailed that one splendidly. It would be a harder challenge not to tbh.

Damn, you're right.

And with that we're out.