Return of the Pharaoh: Diary of the Sultans

**BlackBart213** · March 11, 2008, 12:39 AM

Hello all, this is a number of firsts for me... this is my first AAR, my first time playing as a Muslim faction in MTW2, and my first time playing the game above a level of Easy/Easy

I chose Egypt because it seemed like it'd be a good challenge. They tend to take Jerusalem and the Holy Land, only to have to fight off Crusaders, Mongols and Timurids. They're usually among the first factions to get wiped out by enemy AI. I had already played as England, France, Spain, Russia and Venice. I'm ready to look at another part of the campaign map.

I can't say how often I'll update this, since I have a job and am not always available on the computer. And I'm not sure what you guys like to see in an AAR. I'm writing this to suit my own interests, but if you've got tips and suggestions, I'll see about accommodating them!

I'll be writing this in a diary style, and the aim is to capture a bit of the silly pretentiousness that I imagine diaries written by rulers would have. There will be no serious discussion of tactics (unless it's a major battle) or philosophical ruminations. And remember, if it sounds like a joke, it probably is. (That's all my way of saying, Disclaimer: Don't take this too seriously)

Without further ado...

Diary of the "First" Sultan of Egypt

Dear Diary,

It's me again. As I grow older, my thoughts turn to the land of my fathers. The legacy of Egypt is powerful and profound - all I need to do is look at the pyramids and see for myself. And in the long years of my life, what have I accomplished? Very little, apparently.

How will the world remember me when I am gone? Will I leave a legacy that will be remembered when, like my sires, my sons are gone?

It is with this in mind that I have embarked on a plot for world domination. I have sent one son of mine to capture the village of Jedda, and the other to the southern city of Dongola. It is my desire to unite the Nile under the Egyptian banner once again, and to bring the Red Sea under my control.

I am sure that as long as I continue to fight for Egypt, I shall live forever.

Diary of the Second Sultan's Little Brother
Dad sent me to Jedda. Great.

I didn't really want to be here, but he said something about taking the Red Sea. I told him I was happy to stay in Gaza castle, but he wouldn't hear of it. I think he's gone senile in his old age. Oh dear.

Well, today was fun. I'm still full from my feast. I got to kick out the rebels that were holding Jedda.

There's me, right in front of Ali's Shwarma.

I tried doing a two-pronged attack, but the rebels seemed to be fighting well. I think they were using performance enhancing drugs, I'm not too sure. I don't know, but they seemed awfully aggressive.

After hours of brutal fighting, I was reduced to calling in our archers to engage the enemy troops in melee combat. That was our only saving grace. I lost many good men that day.

There's me, killing the rebel leader. I feasted on the fleshy part of his thigh after the battle. Have you ever had Fleshy Part of the Thigh Marsala? It's GREAT. Not as good as Forearm Francese, but the rebel leader's arm was in no condition to be eaten - it was all in pieces. He had been using it to defend himself from the rain of blows coming down at him.

Maybe I should tell the troops to aim for the chest instead. Nobody wants to eat human rib meat. That's vulgar.

Author's note: Ow! I'm used to Easy/Easy...a bit of a learning curve, I see...

Diary of the Second Sultan

I found out that my father is dead, and I am now the Sultan of Egypt. The first thing I did was send my annoying younger cousin from Cairo to capture Tripoli. Then I proceeded to assault Dongola before returning to ascend to my throne.

The battle of Dongola went all too quickly and easily.

I am concerned, though. The Franks in Christendom are very powerful and possessing of incredibly sophisticated weaponry. My father's advisors have been pressuring him to reclaim Jerusalem for Allah, and surely they will do the same to me. But the Franks will want it as well. Can I withstand their assaults? Or will the cost of ignoring Jerusalem be too great for Egypt to bear?

In the end, I have decided to send another one of my cousins to take the Holy Land for Allah and for Egypt. Its wealth and influence will allow me to convert Christendom to...Allahdom? Allahland? Allahtopia?

I got it! I will call Christendom...Europe.

For now, however, it is time for me to begin my long march north. There, I will make my plans - will I invade Turkish lands or expel the Christians from North Africa?

Diary of the Second Sultan's Cousin
My cousin wanted to send me to Tripoli, so I marched across the sands. For two hundred long days, me and my men were engaged in a folly of sweat and toil and death on the hot desert, always hungry and always thirsty. On day two hundred and four, I ran into a tracking party led by one of our captains from Alexandria.

"What are you doing?" they asked.

"I'm marching to Tripoli. The Sultan ordered me to take it for Egypt."

The captain looked at me like I had suddenly turned into a three-year-old. He said, "Sire, with all due respect, you could have sailed there. You would have been to Tripoli by now."

"You mean I didn't have to march?"

The captain fidgeted. "You were supposed to march...to the docks...where I was supposed to then sail you to Tripoli. We've been looking for you for some time now."

"Ah."

"Sire, because of your...*ahem* delay, Tripoli has fallen into Sicilian hands. You will no longer be needing to take it for Egypt. Instead, we are to take you to Acre."

"Acre? Why?" I asked.

"Because your brother has taken Jerusalem."

"When did this happen?! And nobody bothered called me to tell me?"

"We haven't invented phones yet, sire."

The captain shrugged, and I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to merely take Acre. In a week's time, I landed outside the city, butin the meantime, the captain explained to me how my brother took Jerusalem.

First he starved the denizens of the great city, forcing them to sally out of the castle:

And then he killed them.

Pretty straightforward, actually. Without siege weaponry, I shall have to do the same to Acre.

Ok, that's it for now. Dunno when you'll see the next update, but I hope you enjoyed my debut post. Suggestions are, of course, welcome!

**Laconian** · March 11, 2008, 01:07 AM

Congrats. You have fan. That was good. Keep it up.

**Schrödinger** · March 11, 2008, 05:48 AM

That's great, to improve crop your pictures slightly better.
Generally readers here like pictuyre-heavy AARs over word-heavy AARs and yours looks to fit well into that, unlike mine,

I like your writing, have some rep.

**BlackBart213** · March 14, 2008, 12:25 AM

Thank God, my work week is over! I plan on playing a massive amounts of MTW2 tomorrow, with an update after. I may play a lot, and update piece by piece, so I have updates throughout the week.

**BlackBart213** · March 14, 2008, 10:03 PM

Diary of Nasser the Mad, General and Relative of Sultan al-Mustansir

After being picked up from the sands of North Africa, I was taken by boat to the fortress of Acre. After my brother captured Jerusalem, my sultan decided to expand our territory northward.

He said something about Jerusalem being a potential target for the Franks, something about their Christ being born near Jerusalem and dying there, and how we needed Acre to help boost up our defense, bla bla bla. Whatever, I wasn't paying too much attention to his letter.

I'm too focused on accomplishing some nice mass slaughter. That's more my thing. Reading? Pah.

Reading is for the weak.

That's me, right outside of Acre.

Rather than starve the garrison, my captains suggested we build some sort of contraption for taking the castle. He then built some rams and pair of siege towers. It was the first time I've ever used a weapon other than a sword. Let us see how this works out...

Gee, no kidding, sherlock. Yeah, we're under attack. I can see that. There's an arrow in your eye, by the way...

Once the battering ram broke the gate, I ordered all of my troops to advance into the castle. Despite my advisor's warnings, I charged the enemy with the fierceness of...something...that's fierce.

There we are, running over the enemy like a sand dune shifting in the wind.

I fought my way to the garrison captain and slew the enemy general. Before long, the rebels capitulated!

Diary of the Sultan al-Mustansir

Much has me worried. The Franks have us surrounded to the west, and I have little room to expand northward. For some reason, whenever I try to head south to Ethiopia or east to Persia and India, our troops seem to be physically restrained by some invisible force. This is an odd development, one that warrants investigation...

It is with a heavy heart that I must move north. This means taking the Holy Land in the name of Allah. While full of wealth and abundance, the Holy Land is also a magnet for enemy forces, particularly Franks. How long before they reclaim the land for Christ?

The Turks to the north seem to have effectively taken control of Anatolia, based on previous knowledge. Perhaps they will be a useful ally in blunting the advance of Christendom.

All the while, there are rumors of a shadow creeping from the East. It is said that a vast horde of Steppe warriors prepare to descend on our lands. Who knows when they will arrive, if at all.

My father dreamed of living forever and returning Egypt to its former glory. I fear of living too long, of being alive when the empire crumbles unto itself.

And honestly, I don't feel like dealing with all the stress of putting up a fight. Maybe I should just drink this hemlock right now and end it all.

Mmmmmm, hemlock...

(Author's note: I cropped this so you could see the minimap on the side. More to come in a day or two.)