Love of my life

[Flinn]

Old version

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

“Love of my life - you've hurt me
You've broken my heart and now you leave me
Love of my life can't you see
Bring it back, bring it back
Don't take it away from me, because you don't know
What it means to me”


Queen must be in good shape when they recorded this song.. the music flies in my dazzled head,
but I can’t keep listening to it, I’ve other to take care of.

She lies down on her back, her pale skin makes her even nicer, her eyes stand closed.
I caress her long dark hairs, I kiss her brow gently, I call her name softly.

She stands motionless, her breath is so thin I can barely hear it, she has a sudden tremble when I kiss her lips,
and then she lies quite again, like one who’s sleeping.


“Love of my life don't leave me
You've taken my love, (all of my love) and now desert me
Love of my life can't you see
(Please bring it back) bring it back, bring it back (back)
Don't take it away from me (take it away from me)
Because you don't know (ooh ooh ooh know means to me)
What it means to me”


The music keeps pushing on my aching head, I shouldn’t have drank so much.
I feel something burning on my nape, I should check, but I can’t take my hands off of her, not now, not now …

How can it be? How did it happened? She’s so lovely, she’s so above me .. How I did it?
Will I bear it, if she will be gone? Will I survive the grief for my mistakes?

I sense noises around me, someone is calling, but the voice is so far from my thoughts ..
Why they call me? Why they annoy me? I’m with the love of my life, I can’t leave her, not now …


“Who will remember
When this is blown over
And everything's all by the way - (ooh yeah)
When I grow older
I will be there at your side to remind you
How I still love you - (i still love you)”


Are those tears, on my cheeks? Lord, can it be? Someone is touching me, a hand gently turns my head..
no please, let me look at her, don’t let me leave her, not now ..

People surrounds me, on my knees I look around, there is my car as I left it when I dashed out, against the tree I crushed it into.
The music is still going on, the rest is a mess. Why don’t they go and leave me with her?

Love of my life, I still keep her hand in mine, icy cold. Suddenly, another tremble, I turn back to her,
blinded eyes I see that her lips are so red now.. I keep closer. A deep breath, a long sigh and she’s gone.


“Ooh, back - hurry back
Please bring it back home to me
Because you don't know what it means to me
Love of my life
Love of my life
Ooh, ooh”


I go dark, I can’t see no more. Will I bear the remorse for what I did?
Will I be able to tell people that I lost the love of my life?

I’m like a dead thing, they move me away, no please don’t take me far from her,
in my mind I cry, but I can’t resist, my will is no more.

They leave me close to the parapet. Lord, would you forgive me? But I lost the love of my live,
I can’t bear it, in the end I feel I can’t. It’s just a moment, and I’m over it, falling down to my despair.

Wait me, my beloved, I’m coming back to you.

Reworked

“Love of my life - you've hurt me
You've broken my heart and now you leave me
Love of my life can't you see
Bring it back, bring it back
Don't take it away from me, because you don't know
What it means to me”

Queen must be in good shape when they recorded this song.. the music flies in my dazzled head, but I can’t keep listening to it, I’ve another to take care of.
She is down on her back, her pale skin makes her even nicer, her eyes remain closed.
I caress her long dark hairs, I kiss her brow gently, I call her name softly.
She lays motionless, her breath is so thin I can barely hear it, she has a sudden tremble when I kiss her lips, and then she lies quiet again, like one who’s sleeping.

“Love of my life don't leave me
You've taken my love, (all of my love) and now desert me
Love of my life can't you see
(Please bring it back) bring it back, bring it back (back)
Don't take it away from me (take it away from me)
Because you don't know (ooh ooh ooh know means to me)
What it means to me”

The music keeps pushing on my aching head, I shouldn’t have drunk so much.
I feel something burning on my nape, I should check it, but I can’t take my hands off of her, not right now…
How can it be? How did this happened? She’s so lovely, she’s so above me .. How I did it?
Will I bear it, if she will be gone? Will I survive the grief for my mistakes?
There is noise around me, someone is calling, but the voice is so far from my thoughts ..
Why they call me? Why they annoy me? I’m with the love of my life, I won't leave her for them, not right now…

“Who will remember
When this is blown over
And everything's all by the way - (ooh yeah)
When I grow older
I will be there at your side to remind you
How I still love you - (i still love you)”

I can still hear them calling me, why do they insist? Someone is touching me, a hand gently turns my head.. no please, let me look at her, don’t let me leave her, not now ..
People everywhere, on my knees I look around, there is my car as I left it when I dashed out, against the tree I crashed it into. The music is still going on, the rest is a mess. Why don’t they go and leave us alone?
Love of my life, I still keep her hand in mine, icy cold. Suddenly, another tremble, I turn back to her, tearful eyes I see that her lips are so red now.. I keep closer. A deep breath, a long sigh and she’s gone.

“Ooh, back - hurry back
Please bring it back home to me
Because you don't know what it means to me
Love of my life
Love of my life
Ooh, ooh”

Will I bear the remorse for what I did? Will I be able to tell people that I lost the love of my life?
I’m blackened, my will is no more and I can’t resist them, as they move me away. No please let me be with her..
They left me close to the parapet? Oh Lord, will you forgive me? But I lost the love of my live, I can’t bear it, I feel I can’t.
It will be just a moment, and I’ll be over it, falling down to my despair.
Wait for me, my beloved, I’m coming back to you

[Flinn]

So this is, I think, my first poem-like writing ever, italian included. Please be gentle and correct me, some suggestions will be welcomed too

I wrote this in a rush this morning, inspired by a friend's story and remembering something that happened many years ago.

I tried to transmit the feeling more than anything else, I hope someone will enjoy it.


The lyrics are from "Love of my life" from Queen, all credits clearly go to them.

F

[mishkin]

IMHO, it sounds honest, so it is good.
I hope this has been the first of many, congrats

[Flinn]

thanks my friend, I don't know if I will write more, poetry is not exactly my stile ..

we will see, I've many works on my mind, but, as in Italian I love to write in "high level" language, I fear my english won't be equal ..

thanks anyway

edit: 500 posts!! must celebrate tonight

[Flinn]

update

thanks to the help of Master Ngugi I have had a review on the original work and rewrote it to make it clearer, better (hopefully) and to correct mistakes.

Not that it has improved so much, to my shame, but I definetely choosed a style that is rather difficult for my average english, still I liked to make it better ..

If anybody is interested please comment