Way of the Bow:A Chosokabe AAR-(Updated Chapter XXXXII 30/9)

[Asdrubaal]

Disgusting, Motochika used to be on my not very intelligent villains list, now he is in my worthless scummy trreacherous villains without neither style nor charisma*, in fact I want to stab him, repeatedly, in the face, with an axe, and then ducktape ten AXE bottles to him and set everything on fire.

But I have enough sending him to death against
1. Imperial Gatlings
2. Ashigaru Spearwalls
3. Killy pointy stabby sharpy hurty and all kinds of bad -y ended words.

I hope Suzume recovers, you are an evil person for doing this to her.

And I really hope the Ikko Ikki have taken over all of northern Japan, their hordes of higlhly motivated but worthless peasants have all my simpathy, besides, they are great guys, a bit fanatic and everything but heh, better than the other clans.

*the other people in the list are guys like the Napoleon (Temeraire series by Naomi Novik)), Faquarl (Bartimeus series by Jonathan Stroud), DomDaniel (Septimus series by Angie Sage), Berenguer Ramon (Mar de Foc by Chufo Llorens) and JudgeAdministrator of Daligar and circumdant territories (The Last Elf by Silvana de Mari), a bunch of idiots all of them.

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

Without a doubt, the best written chapter so far - not even just the portrayal of err...that, but the entire build-up, the pacing and just the use of language altogether. I grinned devilishly when he said Suzume's name, then was mortified afterwards when I realized what was actually going on. Wonderful prose. You've come a long way since 2012 and I think this chapter really shows just how far you've progressed as a writer. My hat off to you my friend.

I think thing's are reaching boiling point now, I'm intrigued to see what's going to happen next. Tensions have been high for a long time and I think Motochika just lit the fuse that's going to blow the whole thing to the heavens.

[Merchant of Venice]

Disgusting, Motochika used to be on my not very intelligent villains list, now he is in my worthless scummy trreacherous villains without neither style nor charisma*, in fact I want to stab him, repeatedly, in the face, with an axe, and then ducktape ten AXE bottles to him and set everything on fire.

But I have enough sending him to death against
1. Imperial Gatlings
2. Ashigaru Spearwalls
3. Killy pointy stabby sharpy hurty and all kinds of bad -y ended words.

I hope Suzume recovers, you are an evil person for doing this to her.

And I really hope the Ikko Ikki have taken over all of northern Japan, their hordes of higlhly motivated but worthless peasants have all my simpathy, besides, they are great guys, a bit fanatic and everything but heh, better than the other clans.

*the other people in the list are guys like the Napoleon (Temeraire series by Naomi Novik)), Faquarl (Bartimeus series by Jonathan Stroud), DomDaniel (Septimus series by Angie Sage), Berenguer Ramon (Mar de Foc by Chufo Llorens) and JudgeAdministrator of Daligar and circumdant territories (The Last Elf by Silvana de Mari), a bunch of idiots all of them.

Glad to see you hate Motochika that much. This was meant to be the turning point in his character where he goes from slightly evil heir to revengeful, horrible, ultra-evil villain. Sadly, Gatling guns have not been invented nor introduced to Japan yet but I might right a spoof chapter where he gets teleported into the future and dies from a thousand gatling guns.

The other two are definite possibilities but Motochika's going to be able to do a lot more evil things before he meets his end and that end won't be for quite a long time.

Believe me, it hurt to do that to Suzume to. She is one of the characters I love the most and it was painful to do that but there is a time when an author has to make personal sacrifices for the good of the story. A writer's gotta do what a writer's gotta do.

Without a doubt, the best written chapter so far - not even just the portrayal of err...that, but the entire build-up, the pacing and just the use of language altogether. I grinned devilishly when he said Suzume's name, then was mortified afterwards when I realized what was actually going on. Wonderful prose. You've come a long way since 2012 and I think this chapter really shows just how far you've progressed as a writer. My hat off to you my friend.

I think thing's are reaching boiling point now, I'm intrigued to see what's going to happen next. Tensions have been high for a long time and I think Motochika just lit the fuse that's going to blow the whole thing to the heavens.

It's good to see you enjoyed it then because I definitely enjoyed writing it a lot. I've been planning this for quite a long time so it was quite fun to actually write it. I'm glad you were mortified because I really wanted to have it so the reader would work it out once he had said her name.

Speaking of 2012, I was planning on re-writing the prologue as right now, it disgust me and I want to make a good first impression on any new readers.

And this is definitely the spark where the story gets serious. As I said, I've been planning this for a long time not just in order to evolve Motochika's character but also to introduce someone you have all wanted me too. I'm happy to say Emura Akara will be getting her firs POV chapter in the next one. I'm happy you all like her so much and surprised at the many nominations she got in the Yearly Awards. So next chapter you'll finally get a look into how she thinks and how she will deal with the Suzume affair. Also, Suzume will get her first chapter and so from now on, the females will get a much bigger role in this story. Things will be heating up in Honshu as well where the main Chosokabe army is. Prepare for the Mori to strike back and strike back hard.

I have big plans for this AAR and from here on out, things are going to get serious.

[McScottish]

Ooooo, I can hardly wait!

An excellent chapter, Merchant, and I expect nothing less from you from now on; your writing and indeed the entire story have progressed tenfold, and I believe that this shall eventually- much like Nowhere Legion -come to be a forum classic. Rightly so, if you ask me. +Rep.

[Merchant of Venice]

Ooooo, I can hardly wait!

An excellent chapter, Merchant, and I expect nothing less from you from now on; your writing and indeed the entire story have progressed tenfold, and I believe that this shall eventually- much like Nowhere Legion -come to be a forum classic. Rightly so, if you ask me. +Rep.

I doubt I'll ever be able to write something like Nowhere Legion but hey I can at least try. Happy to see you liked the last chapter as well but I hope I don't disappoint in future chapters

[Merchant of Venice]

Chapter XXV- The monster’s wife

1559- Mid-summer

Emura Akara

She waited for her darling husband naked, the way he liked her. Pieces of clothing were strewn across the floor between the fusuma and the bed, like a trail of breadcrumbs. Akara lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling, her legs instinctively opened wide. It wasn't for her pleasure, no, she got little pleasure from whenever they were together, nor could she remember ever getting any. She had been close once, but he had withdrawn after before the moment had come.

Not physical pleasure at least, though she did enjoy controlling him as if he were a puppet. She knew all the right strings of his to pull, that was why he hadn't slept with anyone else since their marriage. The power of sex, she mused.

She did all of this to make it look like she enjoyed it, for him to think that she wanted him. Why? Because she knew men liked it most when the woman was in to it. And it was the least she could do after ruining all his fun that night.

Her darling husband wasn’t a good liar at the best of times and she had seen through his plan all along. He may be able to fool a couple of simple, incompetent town guards but not Akara, no, she had known the whole time. The stubble was the first give away. Her husband was a clean shaven man. Perhaps those who didn't know him may have just passed it off as a style change. Not Akara. Motochika was too self-righteous to change.

The fringe did all but confirm it. No man, or woman, grows a beard, or tries to grow a beard, changes their hair style into something that could conceal a face, for no reason. And Motochika wasn't one for sight seeing, so why all the trips into the city? Did he really expect her not to wonder where he had disappeared to that night? If he did, he was more stupid then she gave him credit for. The heir to the Chosokabe, Akara smiled, a clueless fool.

Her darling husband would be home any time now, angry and tired, his fun little trip into streets of Bungo ruined. Akara almost pitied him, outsmarted and stymied by his own wife. He evaded the guards, the poor girl’s husband but he couldn’t get past his wife. “And he doesn't even know!” Akara said, to no one in particular. He could never guess that she had sent the guards, not even a man with an advanced level of cunning could trace that. And her darling husband, despite whatever he thought, had less than a basic level of cunning.

The men she had sent didn't even know what they were doing, or what they were preventing. They were simple, obedient men, and when she had given them the address of the house and told them to yell out “Suzume-san” followed by something along the lines of “open up!”, they didn't ask questions, they just nodded and served.

She hadn’t sent Chosokabe men to do it, she wasn’t stupid. No, she had given the job to two of her own household guards. Her father didn't question her either, though she would be reluctant to tell him as well. The less people that knew about the whole affair, the better. She couldn’t risk it getting out, no they would put her in a bad place, a very bad place.
An unnerving thought popped into her mind. Am I not good enough? For a second, despair, envy, jealousy and anger all swept over her and a single tear escaped. No, any man would be more than lucky to have me, she assured herself, collecting her emotions. He didn't want her, he just wanted his revenge.

And then her darling husband bursted in, sweaty and breathless. As planned, his eyes followed the trail of clothes and he stopped still when he saw her, a wave of lust visibly sweeping over him. “Shujin,” she said, tauntingly tracing her finger down her body and around her plump breasts, “you seem exhausted. Let me pleasure you.” She even changed her voice too, though she couldn't describe what it now sounded it like, she knew it had worked and Motochika came to her like a puppy. He fumbled at the sash on his kimono before finally taking it off. He clambered on to her, his breath stank of sake, his actions clumsy and uncoordinated. Drunk again, was the last thought of him as her mind slipped into the place she usually found refugee in when they were together. The sake turned into the fresh smell of pines, the room metamorphosed into a spring time forest. Her darling husband’s sighs made into the chirping of birds, his moans into the grunts of a wild stag. She wore her favourite emerald kimono, her jet black hair shined. She held a yumi in one hand and a quiver hung across her back. Here, she was alone- no husband, no soldiers, no servants. Alone.

Her refuge rippled away as reality came crashing back. Even sobre, her husband couldn't get that she wasn't really there, her hands moved subconsciously in a way that looked as if she was participating actively in it. She had trained herself to do that by practicing when she daydreamed. It couldn’t totally replicate how she would move if she was actually enjoying it but then again, Motochika didn't know what that looked like either, because she had never enjoyed him like he had enjoyed her.

Her husband collapsed onto the space of bed next to her, though he only stayed still for a few seconds before he slowly pushed himself up, like a recently awoken giant. She went to grab his arm but he brushed it away and made his way over to a mirror and sink, which stood in an alcove on the opposite side of the room. He splashed his face with water and with a kamisori, preceded to free his skin from the layer of stubble which currently covered it. The kamisori¹ removed the stubble with an amazing amount of ease, even in the drunken hands of Motochika, it seemed to effortlessly cut through the stubble. His skin finally rid of the stubble and his hair once again tied back in the traditional bun, he took her again without giving any notice and then collapsed back onto the bed, where sleep finally took him.

When she was six, Akara dreamed of being rescued by a dashing, noble, handsome samurai. She dreamed of falling in love, it seemed such an attractive thing, a true thing. When she was 14, the dreams suddenly became a bit raunchier, she fantasised about the usual things young woman often fantasise about. Her samurai would be a gentle, selfless lover. He would plant soft kisses on every part of her body, he would worship her, he would love her, he would pleasure her. She wouldn't need to escape to somewhere else because her paradise would be with him. She would look towards the night with anticipation and eagerness instead of dread.

That fantasy had been abandoned long ago, left behind with her toys and her imaginary friends. That paradise was buried deep beneath the dust, hidden under the ruins of her other hopes and dreams. She could thank her darling husband for that. He had taught her a valuable lesson- men don't love, they lust.

Her darling husband had shown her what men were really like and what they really wanted. Love didn't exist to most men, it was just a figment of their wife’s imaginations. Some men could, some were different. Her father had loved her mother, she was sure of that. But for every one of her father, there were four of those like Motochika, heartless and loveless.

Maybe she was being too hard on him, perhaps he had never learnt how to love? Perhaps it was her job to teach him, to make a man out of the monster, to show him compassion and love and kindness. She watched him sleep, like any other person would sleep. She was amazed how people like him could sleep normally, were they not haunted by their wrongs?

Then she thought back to the events of the night. How he had taken her twice, spilled his seed and then slept. How could she change him? He could not love her, he could not love anyone. He used her. Used her for pleasure. To serve and pleasure, the work of the wife.

She was his wife, his damned wife. It was her job, her life to pleasure him, to love him, to care for him. He didn't have to do the same, no matter what the priests said or the naive girls believed. I was one of them, she snorted, loving and caring. Naive and stupid more like.

Her marriage to Motochika was what broke her, broke her innocence. But it didn't break her spirit, no he could never do that. I will die before that will happen, she promised herself, and as I lay dying I will kill him as well if that’s what it comes to.

The first light seeped through the translucent paper window and as more light creeped in, banishing the shadows, a small ray of hope returned to Akara. I can live my life as his servant or I can rule him and he can be but a puppet, the thought appealed to her. I will make him pay, that thought appealed to her more. He had had his slice of revenge the night before, now she was to have hers. But it would take time. A long time. Years, perhaps. But a couple of years is better than a life time. He will pay.

“He will pay.” She whispered, it sounded better aloud. Beside her, Motochika twisted and turned and Akara lay paralysed with fear. “Please gods, make him deaf, don’t let him have heard that.” She prayed, silently this time. For a moment, he threatened to wake. He heard it! A strange feeling gripped her. For a split second, she felt weak, powerless, scared. And then the twisting and turning stopped and he was peaceful yet again, or as close to peaceful as he could be. She banished the weakness from her mind. I am not weak, I am strong, she reminded herself.

One of her handmaids tiptoed through the room, thinking her lady and master still asleep. She picked up Akara’s clothes from the floor, one by one, eyeing each one weirdly, as if she was unsure what they had done that night. If any of them could be unsure, she thought, glancing over again to her darling husband, he grunts and roars as if he thinks himself a tiger.

“Ayame.” Akara whispered to the girl, startling her. She looked around to where it could have come from. “Ayame.” She whispered again, the girl growing even more scared. Stupid girl. Akara threw the covers off herself and went up to the poor girl and at last she calmed down. Motochika still slept.

“I am in desperate need for some tea.” Akara said, still whispering. “Will you fetch me some?” The dainty girl nodded and skipped away. She was pretty, not stunning, but still pretty, picked out by Motochika. She spent a lot of the time with her head in the clouds but Akara could forgive her, she was barely a girl and Akara pitied her. One day he’ll surprise her like he surprised that Suzume girl. She thought, as she watched the girl gaily dance and skip. Men don’t love, they lust.

Ten or so minutes later, the girl came back with a pot of tea and a cup on a tray, thankfully walking instead of skipping. Steam rose from the spout of the pot and the brown ceramics of the pot almost glowed, the peculiar result of it constantly being dowsed with a tea. Waiting for it to cool down, Akara sipped carefully as she slid open the window. Below, the city slowly awoke from its slumber, though it could be said that the port and docks never went to sleep. And somewhere, somewhere a frightened girl, tries to forget about the night but can’t. Or maybe she is no longer in the city, if I was her I would have fled as quickly as possible.

Behind her, her husband stirred, awaking from his own sleep. She turned to look at him and smiled, a fake smile though, a mask to hide her hate. He stretched out his arms and patted the bed beside him, like a master would to attract his dog. His baita. And like the dog, she obeyed. Like the dog it was her only option. Soon, he will be the lord of the Chosokabe and everyone will have to obey, she reminded herself. And I will be his wife, my fate, my punishment. To always be the monster’s wife.

---

¹ Kamisori- a Japanese razor knife used in shaving

[Alwyn]

Excellent writing - great idea to write from the point of view of Emura Akara and then Suzume.

[McScottish]

That was powerful, Merchant, very powerful. Also extremely good to see such an incredible post about a woman, not many authors cover that.

More rep coming your way when I can!

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

Interesting. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting from Akara, but that wasn't entirely it.

And what happened to the screenshots?

[Merchant of Venice]

Excellent writing - great idea to write from the point of view of Emura Akara and then Suzume.

Thank you, I hope you like Suzume's chapter.

That was powerful, Merchant, very powerful. Also extremely good to see such an incredible post about a woman, not many authors cover that.

More rep coming your way when I can!

Thank you, it was different writing from a women's point of view but something I really want to do more of. As G.R.R Martin said when asked how does he write his female characters so well, "because their humans, are they not?"

Interesting. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting from Akara, but that wasn't entirely it.

And what happened to the screenshots?

Is that a good thing or bad thing? I'd love to here what you didn't like about it and what you did, especially when I'm writing chapters like this. Also, screenshots will be back, I've just struggled into putting them into the more narrative-driven chapters but I'll try and get some out with the Suzume chapter next.

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

Is that a good thing or bad thing? I'd love to here what you didn't like about it and what you did, especially when I'm writing chapters like this. Also, screenshots will be back, I've just struggled into putting them into the more narrative-driven chapters but I'll try and get some out with the Suzume chapter next.

Well she seemed a lot more human than I imagined her to be. I always knew she was going to be a shady character and I was either expecting one of two things: for her to be a loyal and equally villainous wife to Motochika, or instead just use him and her marriage to her own advantage. But now she's either neither, or a mix of both. Like being a "monster's wife" or wanting to kill him; it just kind of threw me for a loop is all. That's not to say I didn't like it, she just wasn't how I expected her to be. The writing was really good though, don't worry about that. I loved the switch from confident and bloodthirsty to terrified when she thinks he's woken up. You've definitely set up some new interesting plot threads and I'm intrigued to see what's going to happen next. And of course, it's early days and maybe you have some characters arcs in motion. I'm reminded of Tig's Nobunaga, who started very different to how I traditionally imagine him, but slowly changes as the story goes on. Then again, Akara might not change. All up to you my friend! Please write as you wish and don't take my comments too close to heart. Whatever you decide to do, I know I'll continue to read and love the story And I can hardly complain, the amount of times I've done surprising and unexpected things in my AAR

On the subject of screenshots, a lot of the time I just have scenery screenshots when I don't have the option of showing the actual characters. So like in the chapter before last, you could've had some screenshots of Bungo at night or something. Even if there are no battles, you can still set the scene and show what's going on in that way.

[Merchant of Venice]

Well she seemed a lot more human than I imagined her to be. I always knew she was going to be a shady character and I was either expecting one of two things: for her to be a loyal and equally villainous wife to Motochika, or instead just use him and her marriage to her own advantage. But now she's either neither, or a mix of both. Like being a "monster's wife" or wanting to kill him; it just kind of threw me for a loop is all. That's not to say I didn't like it, she just wasn't how I expected her to be. The writing was really good though, don't worry about that. I loved the switch from confident and bloodthirsty to terrified when she thinks he's woken up. You've definitely set up some new interesting plot threads and I'm intrigued to see what's going to happen next. And of course, it's early days and maybe you have some characters arcs in motion. I'm reminded of Tig's Nobunaga, who started very different to how I traditionally imagine him, but slowly changes as the story goes on. Then again, Akara might not change. All up to you my friend! Please write as you wish and don't take my comments too close to heart. Whatever you decide to do, I know I'll continue to read and love the story And I can hardly complain, the amount of times I've done surprising and unexpected things in my AAR

On the subject of screenshots, a lot of the time I just have scenery screenshots when I don't have the option of showing the actual characters. So like in the chapter before last, you could've had some screenshots of Bungo at night or something. Even if there are no battles, you can still set the scene and show what's going on in that way.

Actually her being human is a compliment because that's exactly what I wanted her to be. The problem with Akara is that in some of Motochika's chapters, she is presented as nice and caring, sort of an anti-Motochika, so while originally I planned her to be slightly evil, I now have to give her new motives. But think of her as kind of a progressed Suzume. She is aware about how unfair the world is and that everything isn't all smiles and hugs, something which I can guarantee will be in Suzume's arcs. But while she is caring, her and her father (you'll see more of him) are sort of on their own side and they'll get more of a backstory. But I can promise there will be some evil women like Motochika. Expect some of the wives and mistresses to have a bigger part as well as someone only mentioned a little bit.

You're completely right on the topic of screenshots and I use to do that before but sometimes I tell myself I'll do the screenshots one night and then prolong actually writing the story or I'll finish the chapter but then take a week to take the screenshots so for the reader's sake I've decided to leave them out of some of them. But I will start putting more of them in.

Also, a general notice, updates might be a bit less frequent (maybe every two weeks) because school has started and my teachers haven't hesitated in giving assignments. But I won't do any crazy two month intervals like last year or the year before, I promise you that.

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

I'll look forward to that then I'm still interested to see how these two story arcs will finally dovetail anyway.

Screenshots are a tricky one admittedly. I can spend hours searching for the perfect shot, then even more editing it. Can be annoying, so I try and just do loads of them at once, so I don't have to worry again for a while. Although I'm usually quite a few chapters ahead in terms of writing, so that helps

Best of luck in school!

[Caillagh de Bodemloze]

There are so many good things to read in these parts that I'm ashamed to say I haven't finished Way of the Bow (as far as it's got) yet. I'm only on page 2 at the moment, but I keep finding things that make me want to say “oh, I like that”. So I thought I'd better write a post now, because if I wait till I've made it as far as page 10, my list of things I liked will be far too long to post.

Here are a couple of the things that have made me want to comment so far:

In Chapter III, the description of the peace, “like glass it only takes one tap to break” really gives the feeling of the brittleness and fragility of the situation.

In Chapter IV, the little piece of Yuki's childhood, when he and his brother fell asleep in the snow, is a nice way to add depth to his character. I also like that the “fateful day at the village” is still having an effect on him.

I also really like the moments of humour woven through all of it.

Now I'd better get back to reading the remaining eight pages!

[Merchant of Venice]

There are so many good things to read in these parts that I'm ashamed to say I haven't finished Way of the Bow (as far as it's got) yet. I'm only on page 2 at the moment, but I keep finding things that make me want to say “oh, I like that”. So I thought I'd better write a post now, because if I wait till I've made it as far as page 10, my list of things I liked will be far too long to post.

Here are a couple of the things that have made me want to comment so far:

In Chapter III, the description of the peace, “like glass it only takes one tap to break” really gives the feeling of the brittleness and fragility of the situation.

In Chapter IV, the little piece of Yuki's childhood, when he and his brother fell asleep in the snow, is a nice way to add depth to his character. I also like that the “fateful day at the village” is still having an effect on him.

I also really like the moments of humour woven through all of it.

Now I'd better get back to reading the remaining eight pages!

Thanks for even reading the beginning of this. I'm glad you are liking it. I promise the writing gets better though, the earlier chapters were written quite a long time ago.

Wow, February went fast. I finally got some time to write the other day and the next chapter is nearly finished. As always, thank you all for your patience.

[Merchant of Venice]

Chapter XXVI- Innocence lost

1559- Mid-summer

Suzume

“I will be back.” He mouthed and then stole away into the shadows leaving her bruised and battered, naked and alone.

“Suzume-san.” Another voice yelled. Her saviour’s voice, the only thing that had stopped the monster. “Suzume-san, open up!” The two men yelled again. Tears swelled in her eyes. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. What have I done, she cried, to deserve this. Please gods, tell me what I have done.

“Suzume-san, Suzume-san!” The men shouted again, she needed to go down but she was paralysed in the balcony, staring off to where the monster had slipped away, half-expecting him to pop out of the shadows again and finish the job. White knuckles gripped the balcony rails, her nails dug deep into the wood. “Suzume-san!!!” The men grew more impatient. It was hard, so very hard to let go but she needed to. I need to, she told herself, I need to let go.

One, two, three. For a moment she still stood paralysed on the deck and within instant, she had let go and was free. She ran to her bedroom, memories rushing back like a torrent, flooding her mind. “No, no, no, go away!” She screamed as she clutched her kimono and threw it back on her. She eyed each shadow with a degree of fear and suspicion. I am your worst nightmare, Motochika whispered into her ear and she spun around. Nothing. No one was there. She walked timidly down the stairs, as if they were foreign, as if she hadn’t walked them many time before. She unbarred the fusuma and slid it open.

She wasn’t sure what she expected any more. She didn't know if this was just a game for Motochika, if these men were simply his dogs. What she saw was two ordinary guards, one slightly taller than the other, the smaller one slightly more muscular than the taller one.

“Is everything alright, my lady?” The tall one asked. His head was shaven, making him look older than he actually was. In fact, if she looked closely, he looked barely twenty. The other one was much older, maybe nearing forty. “My lady?” The older one asked in reply to her silence.

“Yes, yes, yes.” She replied. No, no, no. “Everything is fine.” The taller one stared at her face. She was almost flattered until she realised there was dry blood still on her face. She did her best to cover it. “Errr, I tripped into a wall.” She lied but the guards hesitantly let it go. Unbeknownst to Suzume, they hadn’t been told to question the lady and following orders was what kept them their heads.

“Good bye, Suzume-san.” The guards said in unison, slightly unsure what they should have said. Bowing, they walked away and Suzume was left alone with her fears and her scars.

She was scared, really scared. Terrified, petrified, horrified. Each shadow was a killer, each reflection a katana, each movement a stab and each moment, each tantalising, slow second, another chance for him to kill her.

Why do I deserve this? She screamed inside her head. And what do I do now? She needed her Yuki, her brave samurai. She needed him but he was a million miles away, fighting his own battles. He couldn’t help her. No, only she could help herself.

I need to leave, she declared to herself, and now. Wiping away the tears she began frantically arranging whatever she needed to survive. She found a small bag that looked like one of her husband’s army ones. It was a good size for her to carry and could hold enough supplies for a week. Whatever food she could find she dumped inside of it, rice, fruit, vegetables. She found some fish she had bought earlier that day at the markets. It seemed like a lifetime away, a time of peace and happiness. The fish was still fresh, so she put in a smaller bag with some rice and dumped that in the bigger bag as well.

She found her husband’s flint and steel as well, she knew that she would need warmth, even in summer, the nights could get cold near the mountains. And that’s where she intended to go, out of the reach of Motochika and his dogs. She packed the appropriate clothing as well, a thick woollen kimono and a coat as well. Gloves went in too, as well as a long scarf.

Then she had a masterstroke. I need jewellery, a lot of jewellery. Her thinking went that if she could sell pieces of jewellery along the way she could pay for shelter and food and other necessities. It would pain her, they were very pretty, but she reckoned that living was worth more than a few shiny things. Lastly, she grabbed of all the coin that she could find, she would need a horse, and a quick one at that.

With everything packed, she finally set out. Or at least she tried to. As she reached for the handle to slide the front fusuma open, fear paralysed her. He could be waiting on the other side, she speculated, crazy thoughts whirling around inside her head. This could all be part of a sick game. She slowly backed away from the door. But then again, he may not be and by staying I could be giving him the opportunity to return. Fear came at her from every angle, pushing her away from the fusuma but also towards it. For a second, she thought how easy it would be just to curl up in a ball and just give up.

But then she thought of Yuki, her handsome samurai, fighting in a way he knew he might lose. If he could face a horde of Mori samurai, she could face the other side. For Yuki, she blew a kiss to him, for Yuki.

Charging towards the fusuma, she slid it open with her left hand, while getting ready to strike with her right. She bolted through the gap like a madwoman. But the Motochika on the other side was just imaginary and her yells were greeted by the silence and calmness of the streets of Bungo. With her first battle won, she set off for the stables.

She was only heading toward the stables because she knew someone there otherwise at the time it would have been a fruitless exercise, though she prayed he was on shift. He likely was, being young and unable to stand up for himself. And without a horse she was all but dead, she had no chance of outrunning Motochika’s minions on foot. She had money the money too, it was just a question of whether he would sell one to her at this time.

She only passed a few people on the way to the stables. They all stared at her, though she couldn't tell if they were lustful stares, suspicious stares or just glancing stares. She knew all too well that the early hours of the morning weren’t for a lady, not with the sort of men which were still awake at this time and the amount of sake they had quite likely consumed in the hours beforehand.

So far, so good, she thought to herself as she came to the entrance of the stables. She knocked on the wooden wall beside the fusuma and got a reply of footsteps.

“Makoto-san!” She said happily, masking the fear which threatened to consume her.

“Suzume-san?” The boy asked confused, predictably so. He wasn't use to seeing anyone at that hour, let alone someone like Suzume. The two had meant at the markets one day when the clumsy young man bumped into her, though his dreams of anything happening between the two were dashed when she brought up her husband in conversation one day. They had met multiple times after the first time, purely by coincidence and the two had become good friends. He had proven to be great companion in the absence of Yuki. “Come in.” The boy suggested when he saw the cuts and bruises which covered Suzume’s face. “What happened?” He asked, still confused and now a little worried.

“I need a horse!” Suzume blurted out, trying to avoid the question along with the onrush of memories which began coming back to her. “I have the money,” she assured the boy, who was too cowardly to do anything near against the law “but I need it now.”

“Errr….” The boy stumbled, unsure on what to do, his loyalties torn between his friend and his job. He didn’t think his master would particularly appreciate him selling one of the horses at this time of the day. “I don't know if I can do that Suzume.” Suzume could feel her plan collapsing before it had even begun. She needed this horse.

“I need one, Makoto-san.” She begged him. “Please.”

“Why, Suzume-san? What happened?” Suzume turned away, she couldn't tell him.

“I can’t say.” She said, shaking her head. “It would put you in danger.” The boy looked disappointed, as if he believed she didn't trust him. “How much would you charge for your cheapest horse?”

“70 koku but-”

“100.”

“That could buy you one of the better horses, though.” The boy said, though a smarter man would have just taken the money and gone.

“Then your master should be appreciative that I’m taking one of the slower or weaker horses and giving him more than he deserves.” She knew she was paying way too much for one of the poorer horses, but she also knew beggars couldn't be choosers. And with her current luck, she was quite definitely a beggar, even if not in the most conventional of senses. “You will show me this horse.” She started placing the money she owed on a small table, coin by coin. “Here is the coin needed, you can either choose to take it in exchange for the horse or tell your master someone robbed the stables. But I’m unsure he’d much like the former.” Conceding defeat, Makoto opened begun to lead Suzume towards where the horses were kept. Many of them were blissfully sleeping, small, black pieces of cloth covering there eyes. They tiptoed through the hay and dirt, wishing not to spook any of the horses. One of them neighed softly as they passed, as if it was enjoying a nice dream about fields of green grass and juicy apples. Makoto looked back at Suzume constantly, though he only ever gave her worried smiles. The poor boy was still clueless about everything and reluctant to go through with what Suzume had suggested. His master was a strict man and the horses were like children to him. He prayed the extra money might save him.

At the end of the stables stood an old mare, sleeping soundly like all the others. Her once black fur was grey, her mane not as fine as the others and she looked old, the years clearly visible on her.

“Our cheapest horse.” Makoto declared without pride, secretly the old mare was a favourite of his. She was obedient and nice, unlike the feisty war horses or the grumpy work horses. Suzume saw that too, as she ran her fingers through the mare’s hair. The old mare’s heart beat slowly. But a tiny piece of doubt lingered in Suzume’s mind, despite her instant affection towards the mare. It was the sort of self-preserving doubt which was meant to keep you alive.

“She’s not too old, is she?” Suzume asked hesitantly. She had already asked a lot of Makoto doing this and she didn’t want to stretch how much he would do for her.

“She’s seen many summers and winters.” He said as he patted her in a melancholy way. “But I can vouch for her personally. Her legs are old but her mind is not. She is nice and caring. Love her and she’ll love you too.” Makoto slowly lifted the blindfold off. The mare gradually came out of her slumber, unsure why she’d be awaken. There was a certain sadness in her eyes as she let out a tired neigh.

“I’ll take her.” Suzume decided. She couldn't turn away the old mare. She wanted it to live a life, not spend the rest of her time locked up in a stable. “You’ll find all the coin needed in this purse. And thank you Makoto, this means a lot.” Makoto reluctantly accepted the coin purse. Tears swelled in his eyes as he led the mare out of her pen. “Makoto? What is the matter?” The boy let go of the reins and flung the his arms around the mare’s neck. “Be good to her, Suzume.” He said, standing up straight and trying to compose himself. “Please be good to her.”

“I will.” She assured him, placing her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Makoto, I’m so sorry.” She was starting to tear up as well.

“It’s ok.” He said wiping away the tears, oblivious to the real reason she was apologising for. Suzume climbed upon the old mare. “I love you Suzume.”

“Then I’m sorry for that too.” She gave a small kick and the mare began to slowly plod down the street. “You deserve better. Goodbye Makoto-San, I hope we will meet again.”

“Goodbye, Suzume-san. Safe travels.” With another gentle kick the mare gradually changed to a gallop. Suzume looked back one last time and gave him a final smile. Makoto smiled back even under the tears.

Suzume arrived at the main gate without any hassle, the city not yet awake, though it wouldn’t be long until it did. One last problem blocked her escape; the guards stationed at the main gate. Many people left and entered Bungo at all manner of hours but they were often trading caravans, merchants, or soldiers, all with legitimate reasons.

But what was her reason? What was she going to say? She couldn’t tell them she had just been raped by Chosokabe Motochika, the heir to the Chosokabe clan. If they were Otomo men, they would be too afraid to let her leave, if they were Chosokabe men they would likely send her back to him to finish the job.

She dismounted about thirty metres from the main gate so she could formulate a plan. Rummaging through her sack, she found a hooded coat. I could try to be a man, she thought before abandoning the idea after she had tried to do her most mainly voice. My brother is dying, she muttered with an unusual delight not often accompanied whenever someone says something like that. I’m going to see my sick brother, yep that’s what I’ll say. They’ll have to let me through.

Buoyed by a newfound confidence that her plan would work. she grabbed hold of the mare’s reigns and began to lead her towards the gate.

“Halt!” One of the guards accordingly shouted. She followed the instruction, bringing the horse to a halt as well. “The sun hasn't even awoken yet, why do you have need to leave at this time.” With sadness, she reminded herself, I need to sound sad.

“My brother is sick.” She said, even accompanying it with a whimper and sniff.

“So why do you need to leave now?”

“I only received a letter telling me earlier tonight. Would you not leave immediately if it was one of your family dying?”

“Depends how much I liked them.” Answered another voice. Another guard appeared beside the original one. “Take off your hood, we ain’t going to let no one through that we can’t see.” Though slightly confused about what the guard was actually saying, she pulled the hood off nonetheless, fortunately the low light hid the bruises. “ Oooh, a good looking baita.” The guard exclaimed to the other one, though quite loud enough for Suzume to hear. She took it as a compliment. “Share my bed for an hour and I’ll think about letting you through.” She didn't take that as a compliment.

“Daichi!” The original guard yelled. “ This is not how we do things.”

“It’s not how you do things, it is however how I do it.” Daichi replied, glancing up and down at Suzume’s body. “You know you want to baita. I’ll even give you coin.”

“Excuse him, only whores seem to love him.” Said the other, more polite guard. “And truthfully, they only love his money.” Shamed, Daichi walked away, dice and sake much more appealing to him after he realised that it wasn’t going to happen with Suzume. “So where is your brother?” Chikushō, Suzume thought, I hadn’t planned this. She desperately tried to recall a map Yuki had shown her once.

“Errr…” No names seemed to rush back to her. “He lives just outside of errr, Beppu.” She blurted out the first name that she could think of her. I hope Beppu is near.

“Beppu? You’re better off paying for a ship.” Luckily, the guard sounded genuinely sincere in his suggestion.

“I couldn't find one with a crew that weren’t like your friend.” The guard gave a hearty laugh, no doubt happy to find some amusement at this hour. He has to let me through now.

“Ok, I’ll let you through.” Suzume could nearly jump with joy as the gate began to slowly open. “Beware of bandits though, the countryside is teeming with them.”

“Thank you, I will be careful.” She climbed back onto the old mare and rode through the gate. Once through she changed to a gallop. She didn’t even dare to look back. To the east, the sun peeked above the horizon. “You’re too late.” She remarked, the night having broken any innocence inside of her.

[Caillagh de Bodemloze]

I've caught up at last.

There are many good parts, but now I've finished, I'm mostly bursting with questions:

Where will Suzume go? What will Yuki do when he discovers his wife's missing? (And what else will he do when he finds out why she's missing?) How will Akara get her revenge? What really happened when Chikakata supposedly captured Kizashi castle?

I look forward to learning the answers...

[Merchant of Venice]

I think you might have to wait a long time to get the answer for those questions. And why doesnt anyone believe me when I say Chikakata captured the castle legitimately? It's like you don't trust me!

[Alwyn]

An exciting chapter and what sounds like the start of a dangerous journey for Suzume. I like the image of the horse's dream and the poor boy's affection for the old mare, the gentleness and warmth provide a nice contrast for her meeting with Daichi.

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

A new journey begins! I'm looking forward to Suzume's arc; be good to learn more about her and see who she meets on her travels. Good chapter though, I liked how you characterised the horse in particularly, as well as Suzume's psychological problems.