Well, there seem to be a few of these, so I thought I'd post one of my own...


Here goes...




The early morning sun filtered through the thin curtains, illuminating the dark room further. Even that early in the morning, summer heat hung in the air. The faint chirping of birds was accompanied by the rustling of a wayward cat over the dry leaves of the small garden. It was a beautiful, albeit fairly hot, day and if the weather reports were to be believed, then it was unlikely to be any different for weeks.

Oblivious to the serenity around him, Lee slumbered on. The slow rise and fall of his bare chest and the deep exhalations were the loudest sound in the small room – in fact, the only sound, excluding those from the outside. A book lay to the side of the bed, open, with pages facing the ground; clearly it had slipped from the bed at some stage during the night.

The room was that of a typical teenager; posters adorned the walls, advertising, usually in very bold and violent looking text certain bands or concerts – past and future. A fairly large desk stood against one wall, and it, in turn, was covered by a menagerie of… stuff. Magazines, workbooks, CDs, novels (both for school and leisure) and more things than one would care to name; a large part of it was taken up by Lee’s aging computer. A heavy closet sat in another corner; half opened it displayed a wide range of clothing some more obviously more worn than others. And of course the floor: like any self-respecting teenager, Lee made a point of keeping his in the worst condition possible. Clothes, his schoolbag, several pairs of shoes, torn out note-pad pages covered in idle drawings hid most it from view, so that little of the grey carpet was visible.

Finally, Lee stirred. Like a volcano erupting it began at the bottom; his feet twitched, first only an idle movement of the toes, seconds later they began to rub against each other, trying to work some body-heat back into them. Next his legs began probing around the bed, attempting to find the covers he had never replaced from the night before. Twisting his body around he searched for the discarded sheet with only his touch, but since the covers were not even on the bed, it came to no avail. Reluctantly, his eyes flickered open, sitting up he looked around for his sheet, only to notice the tip of it poking over the edge of his bed. Stretching out his foot, he tried to grab the small pieceof fabric between in toes, but only succeeding in pushing it out of sight.

“****,” he sighed. Falling back onto the pillow, his head slumped to the side, and his eyes caught the little digital numbers of his clock.

“****!” he exclaimed. The small red letters showed 8:27 am; Lee should have been out of bed an hour ago. He really shouldn’t have stayed up reading so late the night before. Leaping out of bed, he stood on his ventolin inhaler, with bare feet.

“****!” clutching his throbbing foot, he hopped out of the room. The main area of the house was a fair bit bigger than his room, set in open plan, the kitchen bordered on the living room with no wall separating, it was the last in a long line of houses for Lee, and the one he loved the best.

Limping into the kitchen he switched on the kettle, flicking some instant coffee into a mug he waited for the water to finish boiling. Hurrying to pour the boiling water into the cup he splashed some onto his wrist, warranting another loud “****!”

Waiting for the espresso granules to dissolve he pulled some assorted leftovers out of the fridge, throwing them into the microwave, he gave them a few minutes whilst he tried to down his scalding coffee.

Throwing the empty mug into the sink, he pulled the leftovers out of the microwave and went at them with a vengeance. A few food-filled minutes later, he crammed the plate into the already overflowing sink and rushed into his room. He threw on a pair of jeans, and his white school shirt. Looking around for his second sock he noticed the assessment task that was due first period lying in a crumpled mess on the floor. With another profanity, “****!” he tried to straighten it out as best as he could, he proceeded to ram it into his bag. Finally finding the elusive sock, Lee pulled on his shoes, and ran out of the house – only just remembering to lock the door behind him.

The warm and humid summer would have been pleasant for a leisurely walk, but for the all-out sprint Lee had to make to the bus-stop it was horrible. Halfway down his street he was sweating like he’d run a mile. The heavy air didn’t make his breathing any easier, he wasn’t unfit as such, but he could hardly be called an athlete; the most exercise Lee usually got was with his fingers, be it on pencil, paintbrush or keyboard.

Just as Lee reached the lights to cross to the bus-stop, they changed, the angry red circle flashing at him defiantly. Impatiently, he waited for them to change back. Then he saw it – a bus, rounding the corner, fluorescent numbers on the front declaring it was the bus Lee needed.

With anticipation, he waited for the lights to go green. If he missed that bus there was no way he could get to school on time, they only came every half hour. Slowly the bus neared the intersection… the light was turning yellow… it sped through the light, determined to stay on time… the light turned red… then Lee’s light turned green.

He was off like a bullet, sprinting across the asphalt, decrepit sneakers pounding against the ground like pistons. He reached the other side… halfway to the bus-stop there came an ominous rumble – the bus was moving off.

Slowing to a stop, Lee looked after the shrinking bus as it got further and further away. At a loss there was only one thing the young man could do – swear, “****.”

It was then that he noticed how ragged his breathing was. Each breathe was harder than the one before. Lee had suffered asthma since before he could remember, and any strenuous exercise – like sprinting to the bus-stop, was sure to bring it on. He reached into his bag to get his inhaler, and to his complete despair he remembered it was still lying in his room after he stepped on it that morning…

“****!!!”


Lee eventually did get a bus, though by the time he did it was closer to 9:30 than to 9:00. He was, of course, very, very late. His father was a security guard, and he always worked the night shift, meaning it was up to Lee to dictate when he woke up, and when he went to bed. Lee’s relationship with his father had never been a terribly good one, and since his mother left, things had been getting progressively worse. Now, on the rare occasion that they did see each other at some stage during the day, they rarely exchanged words consisting of more than an idle greeting and a few meaningless sentences about school or work.

So caught up in self-pity about his outrageously bad morning Lee nearly missed his stop – that really would have been the icing on the proverbial cake. Only just managing to press the bell in time, he leapt out of the bus. Taking the front steps of the school two at a time. Throwing a quick glance at his watch, he knew something was amiss. Even at this hour noise could usually be heard from the teacherless, even those in classes usually made enough noise to be heard from just outside the school. Something was wrong.

Lee slowed his breakneck pace, straining his ears to hear any sound from inside the school premises…

Nothing…

Lee started running again, there was bound to be some logical explanation as to why the school seemed deserted, at least from the front steps. The principal had probably called an assembly for some reason or another – he always did like to catch the students by surprise.

Settling back into a normal pace he continued down the winding corridors of the main school building. As he headed towards his Geography class (or what was left of it) a quite murmur of voices could be heard. Little more than a whisper at first, as he continued, the noise grew and grew. But it was not normal playground chatter, it was much mellower, more controlled… something definitely wasn’t right.

With a growing sense of foreboding Lee headed for the source of the sound. He was already more than forty minutes late, chances are he would be better off not attending Geography at all – Ms Scott definitely had it in for him, and Lee didn’t fancy another couple of days of detention.

The murmur grew louder and louder until he finally reached the main quad of the school. His eyes were immediately drawn to his friends.

Georges Border was Lee’s closest friend, the two had known each other since Jore (as Georges much preferred to be called) came to Lee’s primary school in year one. After the first few weeks, they were inseparable. Now, nine years later, nothing had changed. Jore was a short boy with dirty blonde hair though he was better built than Lee, actually being involved in sports.

The second member of their merry band was May Peterson. May had joined Lee and Jore in the first year of high-school. On the first day they were sorted into groups of three to talk about their previous schools. They were supposed to go with people they didn’t know, but it was so poorly organized that Jore and Lee (being veritably joined at the hip) managed to stay together – May was added to the duo to make their group. After that first meeting, Jore and Lee took little note of the girl, only when she was the only girl who would dance with Jore at the first-year disco did they accept her. She was a fairly tall (taller than Jore at least) African girl, with short, tight black hair. Now, as they entered their fourth year of high-school, Jore and Lee couldn’t help but notice… other physical features in their friend.

The last of the band was Alec Brand; he was the most recent addition to their group, having only arrived at the school at the beginning of that year. None of the other three knew much about him, the most they’d been able to learn was that he came from the country, his mother moved to Sydney for business and Alec had no choice but to come. Towards the beginning of the year, Lee spotted Alec reading a book he had read not long before, the two struck up conversation and Lee offered to hang out with him. Alec was a fairly average guy, medium height, longish brown hair, brown eyes and pale skin; he certainly wouldn’t stick out in a crowd. And despite the fact that May had only known Alec for a semester… she was totally infatuated with him. Lee and Jore both knew it, but Alec, naturally, didn’t have a clue.

What Lee saw stopped him dead in his tracks. Only May and Jore were to be seen, and May was clutching onto Jore like her life depended on it, and though her face was hidden from view, judging by the shaking of her shoulders and the fact that she had her head buried in Jore’s shoulder, she appeared to be crying. The sense of foreboding in his chest grew as he looked around the quad. May and Jore were the only students present, the principal and both the deputies were there, however, none of them rocked Lee like the presence of two police officers.

No one appeared to have noticed him yet, so as stealthily as he could, he snuck over to his friends. Jore had his back to Lee, and May was in no situation to spot him, or so he thought. Her crying was clearly audible to Lee by then, ragged breaths interspersed through bouts of weeping. It hurt Lee to see his friend so distressed, but he was more worried about what could make her act like this, for that matter involve the police.

But, when Lee was a few metres away from the pair May raised her chin onto Jore’s shoulder, trying – to no avail – to calm herself down, and spotted Lee. With a wordless cry, she disentangled herself from Jore, and practically threw herself at the other boy. Now she was weeping into Lee’s chest, and he could already feel a damp patch on his shirt, without saying a word he wrapped his arms around her. Lee gave Jore questioning look and saw that his friend was, too, clearly distressed, his eyes were shining, and he looked as though May had been holding him up as much as he had her. Jore opening his mouth to speak, but no words came forth. Closing his mouth he rubbed a hand across his eyes – What was going on?

May’s cry had alerted the adults in the quad to Lee’s presence, and he could see them heading for him from over May’s shoulder. The sense of foreboding was like physical sickness, his stomach was more queasy than it had ever been before, and his heartbeat sounded like someone striking a drum next to his ear, it was only the fact that he was holding May that stopped him collapsing. The principal seemed to approach in slow motion, the caste of his face clearly resembled Jore’s – something was very, very wrong. May’s cries, his heartbeat, the crunch of gravel, and the murmur of the police officers were all magnified to his ears, to him it sounded more like a crowded hall than a practically empty courtyard.

The principal drew to a stop with one last crunch of gravel, immediately all the other sounds dropped away – leaving an eerie silence even worse for the thundering sound before it. The principal only stood and watched, Lee very slightly tightening his arms around May. After half a minute of silence he spoke, “Lee… there’s no easy way to tell you this,” May interrupted with a quiet moan before her crying began again, even more fiercely now, “But earlier this morning we heard… we saw that…” He rubbed his brow, searching for the right words, Lee felt like throwing up. “Lee… in the early hours of this morning… Alec Brand took his own life.”



Lee didn’t throw up, but he came far too close. His stomach heaved and he felt dizzy. It was impossible. Sure, Alec wasn’t the sunniest guy in the world, but suicidal? It was impossible.

But it wasn’t.

He tried to say something, but the words wouldn’t come. He wasn’t crying but he wished he was. There was something so base and human about the unabashed display of emotion that was crying – doing it would have made the situation feel more real.

But Lee wasn’t crying, he was doing nothing, staring blankly into the principal’s rheumy eyes and being cried into by May. He distantly felt a hand grab his shoulder, someone spoke from behind him – it sounded like Jore, but he couldn’t be sure.

He felt like he was in the eye of a hurricane, events and emotions whirling around him, yet he felt calm, he knew he should be doing something, fainting, yelling, mumbling nothings to himself, but nothing came.

He saw the principal being turned around by one of the policemen, and the two exchanging heated words – which was strange, the old teacher had always seemed like such a quite, passive man. Eventually the officer seemed to back down and walked back to his partner.

The principal turned to Lee and his two friends. He’d looked tired when Lee had entered the quad, and now, mere minutes, or hours, Lee couldn’t tell, later he looked utterly exhausted. “Lee, May, Georges, we’re going to be sending the three of you home,” May looked up at that point, rubbing tears from her face with the heel of her palm. “The school will be organizing counseling for when you kids want it, but you need to be with your families now. I’ll be calling your parents and telling them to come and pick you up.” All Lee could do was nod.

The principal opened his mouth and looked as if he was about to say something else, but closed it again, shook his head sadly and walked off.



Half-an-hour later Lee’s father arrived to pick him up, May and George’s parents had already collected their children. John Tallow always looked like a wreck in the morning, and that day was no different, his hair was a mess and he arrived at the school wearing a dressing gown over his bed clothes, he exchanged a few words with the principal and ushered Lee into the car.

Lee hadn’t said more than a handful of words in the half-hour since he’d found out about… what had happened; a short farewell to May and Jore as they left and refusing a glass of water one of the deputies offered him. And nothing changed in the car.

“Jesus Lee, are you okay?” his father said, still sounding half asleep

To Lee it seemed like a stupid question, of course he wasn’t okay, one of his best friends was dead, but he would only give an affirmative monosyllabic answer, “yeah.” He was going to have to talk about it with someone, but John Tallow wasn’t the most emotionally proficient man in the world, and he certainly didn’t know how to deal with teenagers.

“It’s okay if your not, you know,” John was clearly out of his depth, “I mean, it’s not everyday one of your friends… you know”

Lee still hadn’t made eye contact with his father. He watched the asphalt speed past through the dirty windscreen. “Can we not talk about it dad?”

John turned to his son as they reached a red light. He looked as though some surge of compassion had over come him, “Now Lee, I think this is…”

For the first time all day Lee looked his father full in the face and the older man stopped dead.

“… Sure thing Lee, later then.”



When Lee got home he shut himself up in his room, he pulled his mp3 player out of his bag, stuffed the earphones into his ears and hit play. The familiar sounds of his favourite bands washed over him, and Lee tried as hard as possible to lose himself in them.

The rest of the day was a blur, John was on the phone for a lot of it, talking to the principal, the police and Jore and May’s parents, and throughout all of it, Lee remained sprawled on his unmade bed, listening to the blaring and familiar sounds of his favourite bands until he finally ran out of batteries, some time late in the afternoon.

The following days were all the same. He attended school, there was a special assembly held and numerous interviews with the principal, both alone and with Jore and May. The old teacher had seen a lot, but he’d never had a student die, for that matter, as Lee later found out, on the school premises.

Apparently Alec had snuck into the school, broken into a classroom and killed himself. Lee couldn’t remember who’d told him that, probably the principal or one of the deputies. Also, Lee hadn’t been told how Alec had killed himself, and neither had Jore or May.

The greatest enigma to Lee was why he wasn’t feeling anything. He was shocked, yes, but that was it. Alec had been one of his closest friends and now he was dead, and Lee hadn’t so much as shed a tear. He was just frustrated, not at the world, not at Alec, not at anyone – except himself. Every night he went to sleep asking himself one question, it wasn’t “why did Alec do it”, the question that was surely on Jore and May’s minds, but “why can’t I feel.” Every night he fell asleep none-the-wiser.



It was Friday when it happened, the end of the school week, when everything began.



May, Jore and Lee were all sitting in the principal’s office, standing behind the principal’s chair on the far side of the table were the school counselor and one of the deputies. Flanking the principal like a pair of mobsters to a mafia Don, at least, that was how it looked to Lee.

They had been having another one of the talks, well, the principal had been having a talk, as always, the three were silent throughout the encounter.

“… I just need you three to know that the school is here for you, we’re here to support you through this difficult time.” It was an almost identical ending that all of the meetings had had. But there was something more. “I feel you have recovered enough for me to tell you this. At first I didn’t want to put any pressure on you after… what happened, but you need to know… According to the police, Alec died under ‘mysterious circumstances’ we’re sure it was suicide but the police will want talk to you, I can’t put it off any longer – they’ll be here on Monday.”

Mysterious circumstances.

Those two words were ringing through Lee’s head. He’d heard them on more Americanised crime-shows than he cared to count, but hearing them in real life gave them an even more chilling ring. May had started silently crying again, as she so often had in the last week.

“The police will be here on Monday,” the principal reiterated, wordlessly ending the meeting.

The three friends walked out of the office and Jore and May muttered goodbyes as the made their way out of the office foyer, leaving Lee alone. Though on the outside he still looked like he was in the same semi-catatonic state he’d been in all week, on the inside, Lee was seeing more clearly than he remembered ever having done. Everything was connected and it made sense, even though he couldn’t see how it was connected. Alec’s suicide, the mysterious circumstances, Lee’s inability to feel. But for it to make total sense, Lee had to know about the mysterious circumstances.

The police wouldn’t tell him, they’d just ask him semi-related questions and refuse to give him any information. Which meant Lee would have to find out by himself.

But did he want to find out? Did he want to, in essence, work against the police and mount his own investigation? Did Lee, a mere teenager, really want to know why his friend had commit suicide in mysterious circumstances? Or did he want to go on living life oblivious to the dark secrets that might have surrounded his now-deceased friend.

Too many thoughts. With his mind buzzing Lee made his way home – he needed to think.



At home Lee crashed on his bed as he so often had in the past week, but that time it was different. His thoughts were still raging through his head, words ricocheting around his skull, and possibilities manifesting and disappearing in fractions of seconds.

He lay there for hours, debating within himself, he wondered about Jore and May, they were different to him, in the modern day it was rather cocky of him to say, but he wasn’t as normal as they were. They were grieving, they were acting like anyone would, but they would get over it eventually, it would take May longer, but she was a tough girl, and would get over it. But Lee wasn’t grieving normally. He had no doubt he could continue like he was for the rest of his life – but did he want to, or did he want to deal with it normally. But that would mean finding out what happened with Alec, which wasn’t something he was sure he wanted to know either.

He didn’t know how he knew that reading into Alec’s suicide would remove his emotional numbness, but he did. But would feeling normally again, leave him knowing something he didn’t, and no one would want to know.



The sun had set by the time Lee stirred from the bed. Having kicked off his shoes he padded out of his room and into the main area of the house. He made a beeline for the telephone. He unhooked it, and dialed a number. A few rings later someone picked up.

“Hello Ms Brand, I was just wondering – what was Alec like the night before he died.”



Lee wanted to know…