A poem I made.

It's my first one. Go easy on me. I don't even speak English as my native language and I did try quite a bit to do this poem.
It's for and English Class work, where I have to write a narrative. I decided to make a intro, and it's this poem here:

“Then there was nothing but chill and cold,
And to Her the shivering came.
All that because the world was indeed old,
Such that Her interest in ‘All’ started to wane.

Although She did not realize it at first,
A new dimension to Her was made.
Strangely, it was all thanks to Her thirst,
and a loud shriek begging for aid.

Whoever gave Her such amazing power
must be, amusingly, truly and greatly insane.
For Her mind runs a thousand miles per hour,
Asking for more then the world can contain.

’What is She truly and faithfully seeking?’
You, my people, may question.
In fact, what we are speaking,
is a great and amazing obsession.

But, for pity we can not judge,
Her endless quest for knowledge.”


What are your opinions.

I'm not gunna laugh at this, so everybody just stop trying. Now!

Nice work U.A.T. Thread moved to The Arts. ~ Lord Gruffles

Nice work, U.A.T. I like it.

nice. I'm still writing at this level too(English is my language, but I only have a 7th grade education)

I like it

(though can a mod merge this with the poetry thread?)

I didn't knew that there was a poetry page. I am quite sorry.
But, I'm glad you liked it.

Anyway, do you know who's the woman the poem talks about?

Beautiful, UAT. Poetry is a genre often tried but seldom well done. Congradulatons.

I think it is very good U.A.T. especially if it is not your first language - that makes it excellent.

As to whom it refers......not sure.....Humanity?

Beautyful?! Awesome, thanks! =D Glad you liked it.

And yes, it is Humanity.

Hey, here's the follow up. It's not a poem tho. I'll only show the first page, to make people interested. That is, if I can, of course.


- Chapter one -
The fall

‘I keep wondering… What is this feeling of emptiness and boredom, Masa?’ The girl asks, laying herself over the field of tall grass and flowers. A creature of high stature softly walks with its eight legs to the girl’s side, making no sound with its eight claws.
‘Boredom, Lady?’ It inquires the girl, repeating the question again softly and lowly, as if to taste it. ‘That is a rather dangerous feeling for you.’ It says, in its characteristic voice, filled with clicks and hisses.
‘Is it? Why?” The girl takes her eyes from the purple tinted sky, filled with countless of blue stars, to look at the great spider. Masa emits a cackle, similar to the crushing of a metal foil.
‘Well, it might mean something is missing. And I don’t want anything missing for my little Lady girl, do I?” Her voice is quite tender. ‘Now, the question is: What do you miss, Lady?’
Lady bites her lower lip and resumes her gazing at the sky. ‘I do not know, Masa. Maybe it’s someone. Or maybe even something. I do not know…’ The girl says, stretching her hand to the endless void. The voice of the girl fades into a small murmur, carried by the wind.
‘Then we should look for it, shouldn’t we?’ Masa happily suggests, but the proposal falls in deaf hears and she gains no answer.
The girl keeps muttering intangible words, and the wind is again the only one who can hear them.

I'm very impress U.A.T., for the reasons the others have said.

Keep up the great work mate.