A short encyclopedia of TWC
A Short Encyclopaedia of Total War Center.
Taking suggestions for entries now!
Members
Agronak gro-Malog
A very talented Artifex,arguably the finest, being the youngest modder in TWC
Annaeus
A nice guy who also happens to be damn good at making pretty sigs/avatars. A striking young chap.
Aristocrat
The only guy to have banned HorseArcher.
Atheist Peace
The most frequently banned member of TWC!
Belisarius
Member of many names
bestantreas
Maybe the only member of TWC from Cyprus. He loves ancient history, so that's how he got into TW world. He's known from his old blood pic thread. He's also a big fan of Bruce Lee!
boofhead
Alcoholic ex-con and bloody :wub: who always gets his arguments shredded by smarter people.
Bulgaroctonus
Classified information.
Bulletproofturban
After the above article was written RZZZA went to the middle east to learn many dark and dangerous secrets... he came out with a bulletproof turban, the title of El Duderino... and no wallet.In 1972, RZZZA was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn't commit. He promptly escaped a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, he survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him (usually on TWC), maybe you can hire...RZZZA!!!
Captain Aaaargh!
TWC's resident pirate. His farts are somethhing of a legend, as are those who smell them and survive.
Chris_uk_83
Possibly the physicsiest member of TWC. Not bad on English grammar either. Has a talent at inventing words for our language.
conanthebarbarian
Conan the Barbarian, a loyal worshiper of the Steel God Krahm, appeared in a series of comic books and in a line of action figures that portrayed him as a gargantuan Scandinavian pit fighter turned theif turned pirate turned king with massive strength, teeth, and sex appeal, although Conan may be better known for his appearance in 5 cinema masterpieces from the 80's, "Conan the Barbarian", "Conan the Destroyer", "Conan the Governator", "Conan the Septugenarian" and a lesser known porno called "Conan the :wub:er". In all but four of these movies Conan is played by Arnold Schwarzenegger and is acurately depicted as the only man in history to dwarf Wilt Chamberlain in comparitive beastliness. The films were later adapted into a series of novels and short stories.
Cúchulainn
Drunkard, Dubliner and Dubious
Da Skinna
Makes Oprah look like a nappy-headed ho, Dr. Phil like Ike Turner, and OJ look like Rodney King. The alienator of whole peoples.
Dismounted H@Xx0rZ
Wishes he were a TruAnon.
Dorian Gray
The uncommon common man. Has a humourless sense of humour. May be secretly controlled by Lord Gruffles.
empty
A friendly skateboarder from Lisbon.
Eric
The resident Canadian Patriot and British Empire nut. Do not mention the British Empire around him, it will incur long lectures and fanboyish ramblings about how the Empire rocked. Also noted to be TWC's most accomplished fisherman... as far as this encylopedia is concerned, anyway. Do not mention emos around him either. Seriously, you should've seen what happened to the folks at emo.net.
Pardon me, the late folks at emo.net.
Estlander
The only Estonian mafioso penguin...
Evariste
Future Media mogul and host of the TWC Pod Cast.
Farnan
A member of the US army, and proudly unburns 1 flag for every flag burnt
finneys13
"Ten years ago, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team." Or BPT.
Garbarsardar
The deadly debate master.
Gary88
The only Welshman ever to be accepted by other nationalities as an equal. Either the 88th 'Gary' in the world, or an 88-yearr-old person named Gary. Current evidence is insubstantial
Glorfindel
The IRC keeper who oft watches over its [IRC] hallowed halls while Sim's getting his bugs fixed. And he likes to eat cheese and loves lesbians (In general because of personality not just sex appeal).
Giorgos - Zahos
A kind and intellectual Greek who lives on the island of Skiathos.
Harm
Mostly Harmless
Horatious Maximus
Can't Read, Can't Write, But CAN ride a tractor!
Don't you just love suffolk?
hunter260859
The man with many numbers, huge fan of judas priest.
Iamnothonourandglory
Probably not honour and glory.
Imb
God.
Jesus the Inane
Last seen walking around aimlessly in South America like Caine in Kung Fu. Wandering the land, getting in adventures. His whereabouts and purposes are a mystery...
He was last seen by BPT in the columbian army, as a one man suicidal commando unit...
John I Tzimisces
Also known as eXc|Imperator, M. Vipsanius Agrippa, probably best known for no one spelling his name right ever.
Jubal_Barca
Your rather confused chronicler. Also mods.
Juno
TWC's secret Admin, The only one not having fun elongating his "ePenis" by posting in this thread.
Justinian
The former Christian, Jewish Boy.
Katrina
The most loveliest member of TWC there is!!! (Also a penguin)
Kscott.
Historical encyclopedia with a walking stick.
lewis16666
Like Ian Paisley but more so. Goes on camping holidays in wales with Gerry Adams and the Pope...
Lord Comnenus
Guy who is obsessed with all things Rome, Byzantine and Cataprahcts.
Lord Gruffles
Lord of the Big Sky and the youngest looking old man you'll ever meet. May have secret powers over Dorian Gray. Beware the Bear!
LoZz
That wierd little tiger/cat avatar, that can kill a man in 412 different ways. Most are enticed by its enigmatic smile.
Lucius Julius
The Phantom of the Total War Center. You know, with a mask and stuff.
Lusted
CA fanboy paid by the devs/famous modder/that Gandhi dude/moderator who appears to do no moderating(delete as appropriate accordnig to your opinion)
Marcus Orentius
Master minimodder, manages mixed mod messageboards.
Manji
Chameleon of Avatars and Signatures.
Markas
Proof that a monkey with a keyboard can form rational sentences.
Mathias
The genius who never says anything smart .
MasterAdnin
The Muzzy that managed to infiltrate TWC, the devili in disguise - these and more are a fe of the many names by which this powerful and mysterious figure is known...
Master Inquisitor
A chomping Kentish Giraffe who constantly sings 'four legs good, two legs bad' to the tune of Beethoven's ninth symphony.
Melboy
Wrote ye olde chronicler Jubale Barcae of the fabled Melboy back in the mists of time...
In fact, it has told. No longer a peasant, Baron melboy came from nowhere, burning and pillaging through the Thema Devia, spreading the armies of spam across TWC. He now lives with his avatar in a small mansion in the TD and has taken up writing, knitting and growing cabbages...Where did he come from? Does he have anything of use to say? Will he ever stop being a 'Peasant' or is he secretly a bit of a kingpin in the rural lifestyle? Only time will tell...
MET
A seemingly random assortment of letters, perhaps a secret code strong enough to unearth a superweapon capable of overthrowing, see 'Wilpurites'.
Mitth'raw'nuruodo
a peerless tactical and strategic master who sometimes has trouble spelling his TWC name
MoralMan
More moral than man(kind).
MrJesusHat
Another piece of Jesus' apparel that's been found by the Wilpurites.
Narakir
A man mystified by fantasy.
Necromancer
Loves guitars, fan of iron maiden and judas priest.
Nerwen Carnesîr
TWC's resident bi-curious lesbian, unfairly good looking, and a sex goddess.
Nihil
Dispenses Wisdom and Justice in a blaze of dazzling light.
NimChief
the personification of cool.
Noble Savage
JustStill another wannabe. Likes Warhammer and Pink Floyd.
Nutsack
Two for the price of one.
Oldgamer
TWC's official hitman/sniper. Look out lefties!
Perikles
An offended moderator. Or a very generous and hard-working moderator who is very much devoted to the site. Depends who you ask.
Plutarch
reincarnated, 2000 years later.
Professor420
A controversial but talented poster, who often rails against the aristocracy. He may be Imb's doppelganger.
Publius.
Totem of wisdom, a stone statue with shaman like powers.
rez
The Persian infidel of TWC, and a supporter of Satanic cults. And a very cool chap to talk with about many things.
Rhah
Egyptian Sun god who can't spell his name properly.
rome ac
Is a member of S.I.N. Has 2570+ posts to his name.
Rush Limbaugh
TWC's most hated lovable fuzzball.
SavageSwede
A savage... swedish... dude. Believed to be a vicious person from sweden, rather than an angry turnip-like root vegetable.
Scorch
Aussie youngster with whom Dorian Gray has a strange obsession...
scottishranger
Member of the wilpurite conspiracy; no one knows what he looks like.
selenius4tsd
One of the most affable members who is perceptibly the future of moderation.
Shyam Popat
That really really ridiculously good looking one. You know.
Siblesz
Patron god of TWC.
Sir Dinadan
Put your bloody imagination to use.
SirPaladin
Helpless guy who tries to draw for Broken Crescent.
Simetrical
The robot created by Simbot. He is the sentient computer running TWC. He can perform over a billion calculations a second, fix any forum bug, and program in a lot of different languages. It is also though that he has laser eyes to blast spmmers and hackers, though this has not been confirmed. (shoves spammer into hex hallway and ducks behind sofa)
Skyler
Funny dolphin thingy.
Socrates
Who?
Svensk Viking
Ruler of Vikings and Hentai, the official TWC pornographer (nerds aren't allowed to have perverts).
Son of Mars
Starving artist who bloody loves Muse.
Svensk Viking
King of the Vikings and Hentai. officail TWC Pornographer (nerds arent allowed to have perverts).
the Black Prince
The gayest person alive. Has a sound knowledge of law. Does like Winston Churchill a lot.
The Super Pope
The only Brummie on the website! (Is this a good thing? - Editor's note)
Tecumseh
Firm believer in the belief of believing in redundancy.
Thanatos
TWC's theologian. A nice guy to talk to, whatever the beliefs of others may be. Always willing to help others out, especially if they PM him.
Thomas Paine
TWC's most loved (and skilled) spammer!
Turtle
The Unknown!
Wiliam the Bastard
The lovable Norman conqueror.
A retired circus freak once known as "The Bottomless Bread Box Boy", Will toured the English countryside performing his feats of mass consumption for rowdy, cockney audiences. After a hapless misadventure concerning a particularly pungent form of French cheese, The Bottomless Bread Box Boy traveled north to Glasgow where he befriended Sean Connery who convinced him to sign up for the Great British Beer Festival being held in the city. After running a competitive guantlet in Britains many bars, which are called pubs over there, Will was diagnosed with liver cancer but nonetheless vows to travel the globe without rest until having drowned himself in all the various beers of the world.
Wilpuri
Head of the house of wilpuri, secretly controls TWC. Curator of Jesus' underpants.
Woad Warrier
Fanatic royalist. Carn't spelll.
Yorkshireman
Presumably the best looking male the community of TWcentre.net has to offer.
Zodiac
That one guy no one knows.
Terms
AAAARGH (tm)
A sound once associated with anyone who felt pain. Now it is a word that is trade marked under the Captain AAARGH corporation.
Anajennese
Tecumseh's answer to the Anagennese.
See anagennese... if you can!
Avatar
A small picture that the user a) Aspires to be, b) Finds funny, or c) Aspires to have sex with. In some cases, all three.
Basement
Place for techies who like to talk about anything nerd.
Best thread ever
Common reply for threads one does not understand. This thread has over 111,345 instances of this. Incidentally, 111,345 is the telephone number of a rather nice hotel in north norfolk where the Wilpurites once held a convention.
Chat thread
Will never be as good as the "real" one.
Duplicate thread
Learn to use ‘Search’ dumbass...
House of FRGT10
A non-curial house dedicated to being anti-moderationeristicated.
House of Wilpuri
See Wilpurite
Huh?
WTF are you talking about? See WTF.
IMHO
STFU and listen to me. See STFU.
Is this guy real?
Ban this guy please... Please? Possibly? Any chance?...
"It's just a forum"
See Blasphemy.
Jesus' Underpants
The secret weapon by which the Wilpurites have taken over TWC. A very holy relic too.
LoL
You’re a laughing stock
Mimirswell/Garbarsardar conspiracy
Brothers from the same mother, seperated at birth and sold to the chinese government via the black market slave trade, they have been experimented on by radical chinese scientists to be the perfect entitities for use as a sacrificiary lynchpin in Chinese assaults. They have since broken free of their red chinese captors and arrived at TWC as refugees to ply their trade as moderator mercenaries in exchange for classified panacea administered by The Fish at the command and oversight of Imb. The mysterious liquid seems to prolong their life for another few days but has the unfortunate sideaffect of causing impotence and incontinence.
Moderator
An advanced form of spammer.
Moved
This topics sucks so moving to a place no one can see. See Moderator.
Mudpit
Iraq, but without the dying so everyone gets to rip each other to shreds more.
Noob
A group of people who find their colonies on forums. They migrate in waves, usually on weekends, and proceed to clog up bandwidth with stupid questions and sometimes even stupid answers. They klive to about thirteen yars of age, and were once compared to ants before the ants complained, not that they were smarter or better organised, but that they had a better grasp of BBcode...
Off topic
I’m high-jacking your thread! Woo!
Pirates V.S. Ninjas
The ultimate question - it is thought that the person who answers this will gain ultimate wisdom and knowledge, but we haven't figured the answer out yet. And Sim won't tell us.
PM
Personal message. It is used to send things too embarrassing to post publicly, or too cool to.
The Puneteers
A fierce band of punners for whom no topic is sacred...
Quote
Something posters use to either; a) Dredge up a bit of someone elses argument in a futile attempt to steal the credit for themsleves, or b) Dredge up a bit of someone else's argument to so utterly tear apart that it is less appealing than, for example, see 'moderator'.
READ FIRST POST
Excessively long thread. Just read the first post and ignore the rest.
Real Life
A rather fantastical myth which some members of Total War Center still believe exists, despite the overwhelming amont of evidence to the contrary.
Rep
A prize more sought after than a penis extender that works.
Stupid Double-post
Get a damn better server!
SYMPOSIVM
Place where only dumb topics posted.
There is already a thread about this
(see Duplicate thread)
This should be a poll
This thread should be a poll for most boring thread ever.
Vestigia Vetustatis
Gathering place of history buffs. Nothing to do with Vestigial Vital Statistics...
Vestigial Vital Statistics
Nerd fat.
Wilpurite
A member of Wilpuri's secret organisation dedicsted to subduing all TWC under their power.
I apologise if I have offended anyone, please give suggestions for new entries or for how the current ones could be improved.
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by Perikles
