The lion hunts of Amenhotep III during the first ten years of his reign

[Roma_Victrix]

I'm sure you've often wondered (on a daily basis) why those confounded editors on Wikipedia haven't made the obvious choice in creating an article dedicated solely to the lion hunts of Amenhotep III during the first ten years of his reign over ancient Egypt during the 18th dynasty. However, you simply didn't look hard enough, you slob, because it's been around for a while now, idiot! Great job failing to find it until I was smart enough to show it to you. It's only the most obviously titled article in the whole wide world at that: The lion hunts of Amenhotep III during the first ten years of his reign. Duh!

If you're into cat pictures, large cats, hunting for sport, hunting gear, the history of hunting, the history of dynastic royal succession and marriages, scarab shaped carved texts used to preserve the latter for posterity, or just kinky roleplay BDSM fetishes involving the lion hunts of Amenhotep III during the first ten years of his reign, then boy is this the thread for you! This thread is the one stop shop to get all your "lion hunts of Amenhotep III during the first ten years of his reign" needs. You'll be so sick of Amenhotep III and all the lions that he killed, that you'll move on to greener pastures by obsessing over the lions of nearby Assyria getting totally pwned by my man King Ashurbanipal. These carved relief artworks of ancient Nineveh come from Iraq, are known as the Lion Hunt of Ashurbanipal, but are now located rightfully and properly in the British Museum by Divine Right and the Grace of God.

Not a night goes by where I don't have a dream, nay, a nightmare, about the lion hunts of Amenhotep III, his horses neighing, his chariot wheels creaking, his arrows whizzing by, his women shrieking while doing that stereotypical Egyptian dance with palms pointed in different directions ahead and behind them. I can no longer see a lion at a zoo or in a safari documentary without shouting hysterically in an attempt to alert the poor beasts that Amenhotep III is right behind them and he's about to make them into trophies for his royal court.

Scarabs documenting the lion hunts of Amenhotep III during the first ten years of his reign can be seen in the Royal Pump Room, Harrogate in North Yorkshire, England, where believe you me they have pumped those scarabs of all the information they could deliver on the whereabouts and actions of the king. They got a real royal pumping, if you know what I mean!

[Morticia Iunia Bruti]

or just kinky roleplay BDSM fetishes involving the lion hunts of Amenhotep III during the first ten years of his reign, then boy girl is this the thread for you!

[Sir Adrian]

Amenhotep III was truly a man among men.

[Roma_Victrix]

If I relay all the ways that the lion hunts of Amenhotep III during the first ten years of his reign can be reenacted with erotic scenes involving only people, then I'd probably get permabanned by the jealous, prude, and wrathfully chaste mods who took their holy vows in the nunnery monastery of TWC not to allow any hanky-panky.

Amenhotep III was truly a man among men.

Dude was an absolute mensch, a lady's man, basically a living god on earth (Osiris to be precise). I'll just go ahead and believe everything the scarab-shaped carved texts have to say about his lion hunts and him banging Lady Tiye. Hell, I'll go further than that and just readily assume he killed a lion with his bare hands by ripping its head apart at the jaws.

[Akar]

Royal Pump Room

Heh heh heh

[Cookiegod]

I'm sure you've often wondered (on a daily basis) why those confounded editors on Wikipedia haven't made the obvious choice in creating an article dedicated solely to the lion hunts of Amenhotep III during the first ten years of his reign over ancient Egypt during the 18th dynasty. However, you simply didn't look hard enough, you slob, because it's been around for a while now, idiot! Great job failing to find it until I was smart enough to show it to you.

If you want to find something truly criminally underreported, Roma, you should check out Amenhotep III'rds lion hunts during the 19th dynasty.

[Roma_Victrix]

Heh heh heh

That's exactly what I thought! Someone pumped the out of those scarabs! Pumped real good like, nice and slow like, till they revealed the text about the pharaoh.

If you want to find something truly criminally underreported, Roma, you should check out Amenhotep III'rds lion hunts during the 19th dynasty.

NO WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! Are you saying they cloned Amenhotep III like that 1990s sheep Dolly so that he lived again during the 19th dynasty? Makes sense. Dude was so awesome he had to live twice just to kick those ing lions right in the teeth again. Badass!

[Cookiegod]

NO WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! Are you saying they cloned Amenhotep III like that 1990s sheep Dolly so that he lived again during the 19th dynasty? Makes sense. Dude was so awesome he had to live twice just to kick those ing lions right in the teeth again. Badass!

smh this guy thinks the pharao who killed 102 lions in the first 10 years of his reign stopped once he reached the Sechet-Iaru in the land of Ta-Djeser in the Duat.

By the way, Thutmose III was the superior lion hunter. FIGHT ME.

[AqD]

You guys know lions are one of the dumbest and autistic creatures drooling all days right? All you have to do to subdue a lion is to wear this:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Now what exactly would someone try to prove by doing that?

[Roma_Victrix]

smh this guy thinks the pharao who killed 102 lions in the first 10 years of his reign stopped once he reached the Sechet-Iaru in the land of Ta-Djeser in the Duat.

By the way, Thutmose III was the superior lion hunter. FIGHT ME.

Amenhotep III undoubtedly continued his lion taming winning streak well into the afterlife, that's a given! I'm talking about his winning streak as a mortal, though. I bet he could take Thutmose III any day in a thumb wrestle, let alone a lion hunt!

You guys know lions are one of the dumbest and autistic creatures drooling all days right? All you have to do to subdue a lion is to wear this:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Now what exactly would someone try to prove by doing that?

That's not gonna scare the lion. The lion will be confused for a minute as to why you're so dumb/strange looking, and then he'll start chewing.

[ggggtotalwarrior]

Hmmm this thread and the name Amenhotep III reminds me of a few nice fellas I met at college. They too called themselves Hoteps and introduced me to a whole bunch of new historical facts and knowledge I wasn’t previously aware of. What a bunch of nice guys, though.

[alhoon]

I think it can be strongly debated that his actual kills were 1 less, at 101 lions. He ninja-ed an already wounded lion that was dying to claim the kill.

[Roma_Victrix]

Quite possible, but a kill is a kill, whether the lion was wounded or not, just an easier kill and a less honorable one than the others!

It's quite satisfying to think that Amenhotep III might have been all like "yeah, you want some more, mother er?" while riding over the javelin speared lions with his chariot just to make sure he finished the job with a double tap. Badass!

[AqD]

First we need to discuss what "his chariot" means.

By whoever pay for the chariot? Egyptian citizens did
By whoever care for the horses? Stable boys did
By whoever drive the chariot? Definitely not him
By whoever fire the javelins? There was more than one
By whoever can claim to be a lion hunter? He's probably the only one, but it also means every lions killed in Egypt were his kills and it only yielded over 100 during his many years of life, like 1 or 2 tigers per year, quite pathetic if you ask me!