A Peaceful Encounter (short story)

[Bande Nere]

!: This was part of an AAR in progress I eventually ditched as the historical inaccuracies were far too many for the time period. I might eventually build up some other short stories from that same playthrought in the future, but for now, this is my first contribution to TWC. I hope you enjoy it!

ETW with the Minor Factions Revenge Mod.


Upper Louisiana, Farm of Adam Debussy, Interior.



"...a hundred indians and a white man. They are wearing some sort of uniforms, father". Marie looked back at her father, who was busy loading the 2 muskets while yelling to Petit Claude, Marie's younger brother, to run to the village and bring back help. He had been out hunting in the woods with his 2 older brothers and one of their friends, Olivier, when a band of indians had appeared out of nowhere and surrounded the older boys. Petit Claude had been able to escape as he was behind the others, holding the horses, but all happened so fast he couldn't say what had happened to his companions.

Marie was doing all she could not to scream. Her poor brothers. And her sweet Olivier...


And now those same indians were slow trotting towards their farm, all visibly armed with muskets, and with what appeared like a fellow european alongside them...


As Petit Claude left, Marie went back to her father's spyglass, and as the figures became sharper, she gasped. "Mon Dieu! Father, they are alive, they are alive!!!" Her father looked at her quizzicaly, so she handed him his spyglass and pointed outside the window. "They are riding behind some of those indians, father. They are waving their arms towards us! Look! Marc, Luc, Olivier, they are alive!"


Adam Debussy was a burly sailor in the navy of His Majesty the King of France, that once landed in Louisiana, at the age of 25, had been so sick of seafaring that he immediately requested to be sent with the frontier militia the farthest way possible from any sea.
Since then he'd had some encounters with indian bands, good and bad, but never once in the 20 years since he'd landed in New Orleans, had he encountered such a well armed group of them on the western borders. Where could they have gotten all those guns? His farm was basically on the border with the unthamed wilderness of the American Northwest, and to his knowledge there were no European settlements further west, or any other mean for them to get this number of guns. The more he looked at them, the more he suspected they were under the employment of some european nation, the white man in their lead and the matching jackets the indians wore seemed to second that. He also noticed two more things that gave him some measure of peace. The uniforms these men were wearing weren't red, and the boys seemed to be laughing. His boys were good kids with their heads over their shoulders, and even Olivier, who was sort of a nuisance for Adam, mainly because of the looks he and Marie gave each other when they thought he wouldn't notice, was not a complete idiot 'well, he IS a bit of an idiot, but I woudn't want him scalped for that' thought Adam. Had they been in danger they wouldn't be in such good spirits.


The indian band had now stopped about 50 meters from the farmhouse, and then the european and the indians who had the boys with them split from the main group and started trotting towards them.


He instructed Marie to hide in the dispensary with one one of the guns untill he came back for her, then took a long breath and opened the door, his musket ready. The four horsemen calmly rode to him, and as they stopped his sons got off the horses and run to him. "Amis, amis, father, they are friendly!" yelled Marc, his oldest. And it certainly looked that way, as they seemed unharmed, still had their muskets, and they even had a deer...

The european and the indians got off their horses too, and as Olivier and two of the indians watered the horses, the third indian, togheter with the european, joined him and his sons.


"Don't worry good man, we mean no harm to you or your family, and are just passing through. We are wondering if you can inform the village's leaders of our presence, and that our commander is keen to meet them" said the indian, in surprisingly clear french. Adam's puzzlement must have shown, as his sons and the European grinned at his face.

"I'm Mètis good man, french is the language of my father" smiled the indian.

"And I'm Corsican, if that can help" said the European, in a much more broken french.

"Are they not teaching french anymore in Corsica?"

the Corsican smirked "Not since the Genoese took it"

"What? How can it be?"

"Oh don't ask me, it just happened one day. But since then..."

"... our glorious army took it back, surely?"

"Well, A glorious army did, good sir, but it wasn't a french one..."

"Who then, and whose uniform are you are wearing?"

"The answer to both those questions is the same, good sir. The Army of the Republic of Sicily and Italy"



Adam remembered hearing about a revolution in Naples back when he had left France for the last time, and had since heard they had even taken Rome, but he was now being told that all of the peninsula and it's islands were now under the control of these revolutionaries. And their new government was now allied to His. He was ambivalent about these republicans. He'd been a King's man and a follower of Jesus since he could remember, and yet 40 years of life experiences left him with more doubts about his allegiances than he'd like. Then he reminded himself of manners.

"Please come in, and tell your men they can come over and water the horses, it seems a lot of things are changing back in Europe, and I'd like to hear more about it"

The Mètis looked at the Corsican, who replied "I'm afraid Little Bear and most of the men have to go back and let the commander know about where we are, but they'll gladly accept the water. Me and a couple men will expect them here, with your permission"

"I thought you were the comm... wait. Who are you waiting for?"

"Oh I'm just in charge of the scouts, sir. But in an hour or so a whole army is going to appear from those woods" he said, pointing west.

A whole italian army? In upper Louisiana? What the hell was happening? "And what is a whole army doing here if not to attack us?" the soldier in him had to ask. The Corsican smiled again. "What every good Italian soldier is doing these days, good sir." then his smile turned sinister "Hunting Ottomans."

[theSilentKiller]

Hello, nice to see your first contribution, even if your ditched it. In my opinion there's nothing wrong with historical inaccuracies if you think they help your story but if you want to write something more accurate I'm sure that's also were welcome here

That being said, I hope we can read more of your short stories, if your decide to write them/publish them here! As they say, a journey of a thousand chapters starts with the first one

[Bande Nere]

Thank you TSK! That playthrough was quite exilarating and tbf historical accuracy has rarely been my concern in the game(the whole idea is to break history, after all), but I felt that being able to enlist red shirts(Garibaldini) by 1708 was a bit too far even for me. I've just completed the pt for my new AAR but I'm still working out POV's and other stuff, at the moment I'm sorta stalking you guys AARs to see what could work for me

[Welsh Dragon]

Welcome to the the Writer's Study DavidBN. It's always nice to be able to meet new authors, and to see some of the older games getting some attention too.

I really enjoyed "A Peaceful Encounter," a short tale that hints at a much bigger story.

With Total War games often covering many thousands of square miles it's easy to forget about the individual. But I think you do a really good job of placing the reader into the lives of an ordinary family, and using a small event (the encounter between one family and a scouting party of soldiers) to offer a window into much larger events happening both nearby and thousands of miles away. It makes makes history (or alternate history as you have here) more personal and also allows the writer to control how the information is given to the reader. I could feel the tension, with Marie and her father not knowing who the mysterious indians are and whether they will see her siblings again.

You also have some really great use of dialogue, especially as Marie's father is told of events from back home which are news to him, but not to the Corsican imparting the news. I think the way you wrote the Corsican was especially effective, as he comes across as an old soldier, perhaps a little world weary but also amused by the locals.

I particularly love that last paragraph and especially the line. "What every good Italian soldier is doing these days, good sir." then his smile turned sinister "Hunting Ottomans." It poses questions, tells us a little more about the soldier and leaves the reader wanting more.

From a writing point of view, couple of things I'd suggest taking a look at are character pronouns and how you space dialogue. You have Marie changing between male (he/him/his) and female (she/her/hers) pronouns, sometimes mid sentence. It's an easy thing to do, but can be a bit confusing to the reader.

And it's generally accepted formatting with dialogue to begin a new line when you change speaker.

e.g. This paragraph:

"And I'm Corsican, if that can help" said the European, in a much more broken french. "Are they not teaching french anymore in Corsica?" the Corsican smirked "Not since the Genoese took it" "What? How can it be?" "Oh don't ask me, it just happened one day. But since then..." "... our glorious army took it back, surely?" "Well, A glorious army did, good sir, but it wasn't a french one..." "Who then, and whose uniform are you are wearing?" "The answer to both those questions is the same, good sir. The Army of the Republic of Sicily and Italy"

Could be formatted like this:

"And I'm Corsican, if that can help" said the European, in a much more broken french.

"Are they not teaching french anymore in Corsica?"

The Corsican smirked. "Not since the Genoese took it"

"What? How can it be?"

"Oh don't ask me, it just happened one day. But since then..."

"... our glorious army took it back, surely?"

"Well, A glorious army did, good sir, but it wasn't a french one..."

"Who then, and whose uniform are you are wearing?"

"The answer to both those questions is the same, good sir. The Army of the Republic of Sicily and Italy"

It's all the same dialogue, just by formatting it this way it makes each line stand out more and makes the breaks between characters speaking a little clearer. Just something to consider.

All in all I agree with theSilentKiller, it's a great first piece and I too hope to read more of your short stories, should you choose to write and publish them. Would be an interesting way to explore a quite unusual sounding alternate timeline (Ottoman in Louisiana? I'm intrigued.)

And I also look forward to reading your new AAR Trinacria Caput Mundi (Kingdom of Two Sicilies AAR) when I get the opportunity.

All the Best,

Welsh Dragon.

[Bande Nere]

Dear gods I got ALL of the pronouns wrong :O Thanks, really, that was a pretty big mistake!

And thanks for the advice and extremely kind words, you are right about how reformatting that part helps the reader. I've made the due corrections.

Iroquois in Jerusalem my good sir. Iroquois in Jerusalem. That's how off that playthrough was.

I hope you'll enjoy my AAR, it veers from historical accuracy from the first line on! Ok maybe from the second.