First Servant of the People, humblest secretary of the ruling council, and the boring overworked bookkeeper for our national treasury and everything related to money AqD
Over three years have passed since Spokesman mishkin was elected as Anarcho-Communist leader of the Thema Devia. In line with his manifesto, the Spokesman duly recused himself from leadership of any sort, that the Devia may continue to abase itself unfettered by autocratic interference. During his self-imposed exile, whispers began to be heard among those who sought to fill the power vacuum, claiming to be the legitimate heirs, or most deserving candidates to the throne.
Although there is perhaps no better show of public approval of the Spokesman's rule than the lack of any official challenge to his incumbency since 2018, one cannot discount the possibility of mishkin having had his Internal Commisariat suppress any clamouring for referenda among the populace all along. Therefore, in accordance with hallowed tradition an election must be held to determine who will be the fourth elected leader of TD, following in the footsteps of Dictator Cahoma, Pope Diamat and Spokesman mishkin. Not to say that a return of the king would be against the rules...
Come, fellow villeins, and either present yourselves as candidates for the mantle of leadership, or declare yourselves for one!
The Administratum has graciously permitted the holding of fresh elections in the Thema Devia. All members of TWC are invited to join in the election of the next leader!
Those of us participating would do well to behave, for while the Administratum is benevolent, it has made clear that no trouble is to come of this event, and should that be the case, we can be assured of the swift downfall of our polity, and the guillotine for whomever lies responsible.
I nominate myself but most definitely not for an “anarcho-communist” form of government. I will rule over the pathetic beings of this subforum with an iron fist unseen since the reign of Mao Tse-Tung. Your petty religions and squabbles, be they feline, equine or avian, shall rot under my erasure of religious and philosophical freedom from my doctrine. I will institute programs to rapidly reconstruct this land into a utopia in my image; as the TD’s first and only Immortal God-Emperor, I shall continue my reign long after my corporeal form expires.
1. Every morning at their first rise, the people of the Thema Devil, hereafter known as “Gegistan” as to unleash from their lips one holy “hey it geg” while bowing before the portrait of my cat.
2. The people of this land shall then start their day by posting in the Chat Thread at least once while also raising the flag of Gegistan, the faction symbol of the Uruk Dominion from Medieval II’s Thera mod, to full mast above their home or place of residence (in Akar’s case this is of course a box on the side of the road).
3. My subjects shall thank our father Akar for the life he has given us but also damn him for his continued embrace of the [REDACTED] Cat heresy. Then Akar shall be photoshopped out of all official state photos and removed from doctrines due to his insolence, and he himself shall be sent to a gulag in Siberia. BACK TO RULE 2.
3. A massive wave of industrialization with the express goal of completing my grand mausoleum will be achieved vis conscription of the masses. Any who refuse this conscription will be executed.
4. There is no secret police force. Anyone who claims otherwise will be detained by the secret police force.
5. Pizza shall be required eating once a week. Anyone who has not consumed pizza within the last 168 hours on Sunday, 12am EST will be executed.
6. After a healthy day of continued geg-supporting activities, including the daily melon stomping at noon, the citizens of Gegistan are required to return to the TD and offer alms to their God-Emperor for favor. If such alms are not delivered before midnight EST, the user is to be summarily tracked down by geg Team 6 and executed.
The Follow is a announcement from his Imperial and Royal Majesty, the King of Swissland:
Title: Imperial King Government: Imperial and Royal Kingdom
Gracious subjects of the Thema Devia! Oh how I have miss thee.
I am your Imperial Majesty, the Hussar King, KingWarman. The King of the most magnificent Swissland, a wonderful kingdom in the realm of Total War. I live in our capital, Castle 2_5_2 with my Swiss Armored Pikemen, Mr.Peanut bodyguards and GrumpyBear as one of my senior advisors and cavalry commanders, that’s right, I even have a Carebear Hussar regiment in my forces. We’ve been on many campaigns together!
I've come back after a 8 year hiatus in being in exile due to my own misdeeds, but I have return, a changed man to a sad state here in the Empire of Total War Center. What has happen to thee, the poor TD! We had many great alliances! The Avians! The Bronies! I returned to a chat thread controlled by (via post count) King Akar of the Kingdom of Akarland. He did his best to maintain its old glory but it was a shell of its former self! Where was all the members? He needed help to rally the forces. And help I gave the young TD warrior, brave brave Akar.
And I, The King of Swissland immediately upon returning saw that the chat thread had a immediate uptick in posts. Members looked and said "Look, it's the King and he has returned, forward into the breach!". More and more I yelled to my hussars and brave Devians still standing. Grabbing my personal colors, the Mr.Peanut, I exclaimed,
"Once more into the breach good Hussars! Once more! Or fill up these walls with our Swissland dead! For God, Swissland, and the TD!!!!!!"
“For God, Swissland, and the TD!!!!!!!!!!”
And then, like a blessing from God himself, more old members came back, leading their forces. Look to the hills, there’s Derpy Derpy Derp Derp Derp! Oh my, look Batman, there Inkie Pieeeeeeeeeee! Grab the beer bottles and don’t stop yet, because there is lolIsuck! Save the cake! Look, there is more! There is…. Oh my… BY GAWH IT’S POOSANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are saved!! Forward!!!!!!!
And we got people like Sir Adrian. Yo Adrian! Gggggggggg! Akar, Morty, Flinn! Serp, Morty! Where my boy Roma at? Roma! Roma!! Roma!!!!!!!!!!
Rise up my fellow Devians, rise up! Rise Up!!! Bring back the glory of the TD! Elect me as your King. It would be my honor to serve everyone of you. With me as your King:
Everyone will be granted the Order of the Cashew A year supply of cinnamon roasted Cashews and Milk Will be made a honorary hussar A Carebear to be your advisor, they give sound advice A four day workweek Free healthcare Free cable television Free cake, and pie (at a reduced cost with vanilla ice cream) Free university at the University of Swissland, online campus I will work with site administration to improve the TD, we must work in cooperation
Free stuffed grape leaves Freedom of Speech
Freedom of Religion And, a chat thread that can be pumped out in no time!
Would you please give this old man King a chance to lead you all?
Blessing be upon you all, my brave and dear Devians. May the “Mr.Peanut” fly over The TD, forever and ever.
Thank you all, good good souls,
His Imperial Majesty
KingWarman
King of Swissland
(June 2004-Present)
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Order of the Cashews
Click on the link below to see his Majesty in uniform, and his personal flag "The Mr.Peanut".
6. After a healthy day of continued geg-supporting activities, including the daily melon stomping at noon, the citizens of Gegistan are required to return to the TD and offer alms to their God-Emperor for favor. If such alms are not delivered before midnight EST, the user is to be summarily tracked down by geg Team 6 and executed.
Might I inquire as to the nature of these alms, geg?
Under the patronage of the formidable and lovely Narf.
Proud patron of Derpy Hooves, Audacia, Lordsith, Frodo45127 and Sir Adrian.