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Thread: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

  1. #1

    Default Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    Various news sources in Finland are now issuing warnings about horny reindeer. And by horny I do not mean reindeer with horns. The reindeer have horns most of the time, but at this time they are battling fiercely to get some action, if you know what I mean. The last thing TWC needs is yet another member being mauled by a sex-crazed reindeer that misinterprets (?) that member's intentions as wanting to mate with their does.

    Alarmingly few of us seem proficient in Finnish these days, so I'll translate the headline for you.

    A national park issues a warning: horny reindeer are threatening hikers.



    An English-speaker would of course say that the animals are in heat, but in Finnish we share the same designation for animals in heat and humans in the throes of sexual urges. We do not have grammatical gender, like that he/she nonsense, and we do not really discriminate among species either.

    So be warned! Steer clear of reindeer until they get their business done and go back to their usual nature of being a docile food source.
    Last edited by Septentrionalis; September 18, 2021 at 03:02 PM.

  2. #2
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    In the US we have deer, certainly nothing like an Ibex or a reindeer, but in Alaska they do have moose that are incredibly huge and dangerous, horny or not.

    I think your reindeer would lose in a fight to a moose, but I'd still be wary around a reindeer. They seem ornery to me! Also, horny as you suggest. Ready to poke you in more ways than one with their...horns.

  3. #3
    Flinn's Avatar The Dude Retires
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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    Its name must be Silvio
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    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    A reindeer and a clown had sex and it produced rudolph

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  5. #5
    Sir Adrian's Avatar the Imperishable
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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    But Giuliani does not look like a reindeer!!!
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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    No but he does look like he would marry his cousin

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  7. #7

    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    In the US we have deer, certainly nothing like an Ibex or a reindeer, but in Alaska they do have moose that are incredibly huge and dangerous, horny or not.

    I think your reindeer would lose in a fight to a moose, but I'd still be wary around a reindeer. They seem ornery to me! Also, horny as you suggest. Ready to poke you in more ways than one with their...horns.
    There are reindeer in North America (Canada and Alaska), but I think they are called caribou. But yes, reindeer are very small and probably no match for moose. Moose are really scary when they are angry or step on to the road when you are driving. I have had a lot of encounters with them, three of which involved an agressive one. Once I was charged by a moose. I would have made the Olympic games with that sprint.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    Quote Originally Posted by Septentrionalis View Post
    and we do not really discriminate among species either.
    I just realized that the reindeer may have a justifiable concern about Finnish people around their does.

  9. #9
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    A reindeer and a clown had sex and it produced rudolph
    All part of the twisted genetic experiments conducted by Santa in the subterranean level of the elven workshop at the North Pole, where clowns and reindeer are his lab rats.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Adrian View Post
    But Giuliani does not look like a reindeer!!!
    That's due to the wonders of modern medical science.

    Quote Originally Posted by Septentrionalis View Post
    There are reindeer in North America (Canada and Alaska), but I think they are called caribou. But yes, reindeer are very small and probably no match for moose. Moose are really scary when they are angry or step on to the road when you are driving. I have had a lot of encounters with them, three of which involved an agressive one. Once I was charged by a moose. I would have made the Olympic games with that sprint.
    Ah yes, the caribou, of course! Alaska truly is a different place from the rest of the country, kind of like Hawaii in that regard. Also yes, moose are nothing to scoff at, they're huge! Not quite as large as a giraffe or an elephant, but way more aggressive than either of them.

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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    All part of the twisted genetic experiments conducted by Santa in the subterranean level of the elven workshop at the North Pole, where clowns and reindeer are his lab rats.
    Hi this is netflix we want to order a 12 episode season of this please

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  11. #11
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    Hi this is netflix we want to order a 12 episode season of this please
    [Respectfully.] At long last, Mr. Netflix, have you no decency, sir?

    With that said I accept cash, traveler's check payments, or electronic ones via PayPal for my proposals and creative ideas.

    Here's your last freebie: Santa was actually once a clown himself, before he was an ordained bishop St. Nick in the Eastern Roman Empire, and is the real biological father of Rudolph, unbeknownst to him.
    The plot thickens, much like Kim Kardashian.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    We'll take a 12 episode order of the Santa stuff too, please.

    Also we'll give you 20 million each for 5 stand up specials.

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  13. #13
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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    Quote Originally Posted by Septentrionalis View Post
    Once I was charged by a moose. I would have made the Olympic games with that sprint.
    Please tell us you did charge back and show those dirty animals we humans are not to be messed with!

  14. #14

    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    Quote Originally Posted by AqD View Post
    Please tell us you did charge back and show those dirty animals we humans are not to be messed with!
    I am going to have to disappoint you. I ran so fast my feet didn't have time to hit the ground. The first case of a human being levitating in the history of our species. And I didn't stop anytime soon. But when I was out of breath and ready to die, I turned around and the moose was nowhere. Luckily to us humans, the herbivorous moose apparently lack the instinct to chase down prey. When they see that ape running fast enough while ****ting their pants, they are all king in the eyes of the other moose. Moose FTW!

  15. #15

    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    is Santa horny as well?

  16. #16

    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    Quote Originally Posted by AoRun View Post
    is Santa horny as well?
    I think he is bound to be influenced by all those reindeers about. Besides, I have a theory about where all those hundreds of elves have come from.

    I just read an article that genetic testing proved that a Finnish reindeer had begotten 36 calves while being horny for just one month. The article said that the reindeer can be so exhausted after such a period that their horns fall off. Then they are not that horny anymore.

    This one got to keep his horns and is taking some well-earned time off reproductive duties on the beach.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Last edited by Septentrionalis; October 21, 2021 at 03:14 PM.

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    Sir Adrian's Avatar the Imperishable
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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    He is producing new deer by mating with the earth itself.
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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    is Santa horny as well?
    Who do you think is making all those elves?

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  19. #19

    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    Quote Originally Posted by Septentrionalis View Post
    Besides, I have a theory where all those hundreds of elves have come from.
    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    Who do you think is making all those elves?
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  20. #20
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    Default Re: Warning! Horny reindeer about.

    For some reason I only read the second and third sentence and looked at the picture

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