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Thread: What is your life like as an NPC?

  1. #1
    Cookiegod's Avatar Civus Divus Ex Clibane
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    Default What is your life like as an NPC?

    You have been cursed into living the rest of your life in your favourite RPG.
    You get to be an NPC, but not an important one. Preferably an unnamed one. What's the game and what's the rest of your life going to be like?
    Last edited by Cookiegod; August 25, 2021 at 12:05 PM.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    From Socrates over Jesus to me it has always been the lot of any true visionary to be rejected by the reactionary bourgeoisie
    Qualis noncives pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #CLM

  2. #2
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    I will be a princess, but not one important enough to the plot to be named.

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  3. #3
    Cookiegod's Avatar Civus Divus Ex Clibane
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    In what game?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    From Socrates over Jesus to me it has always been the lot of any true visionary to be rejected by the reactionary bourgeoisie
    Qualis noncives pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #CLM

  4. #4
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    I didn't read my favorite RPG.

    I would be an undead merchant in Divinity 2

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  5. #5
    Sir Adrian's Avatar the Imperishable
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    I give poo related quests such as gathering enough dried dung to make mud bricks for the new desert children hospital.
    Under the patronage of Pie the Inkster Click here to find a hidden gem on the forum!


  6. #6

    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    "Awesome thread."

    "You're a lying dog-faced pony soldier." - President Joseph R. Biden, Jr., February 9, 2020


  7. #7
    Sir Adrian's Avatar the Imperishable
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    skh wins the thread
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  8. #8
    Derc's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    Just casually walking around, doing stuff, being pissed about all these lemons life deals me. When a random stranger appeared, I wanted to complain about it all, and ask him to help me. But he asked me something first. "Ever played Gwent?", it was. I only could nod in silence, and suddenly forgot about all my problems.

  9. #9
    Morticia Iunia Bruti's Avatar Praepositus
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    I got an arrow to the knee and will bore everyone with the story as guard in Whiterun, Skyrim.
    Last edited by Morticia Iunia Bruti; August 25, 2021 at 02:55 PM.
    I'm no barbie doll I'm not your baby girl
    I've done ugly things and I have made mistakes
    And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
    I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed
    So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?
    Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud


    Garbage - Why do you love me


  10. #10
    Derc's Avatar Campidoctor
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    Do you get to the Cloud District very often?
    Oh, what am I saying, of course you don't.

  11. #11
    Morticia Iunia Bruti's Avatar Praepositus
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    Or more fitting: I will create new vampires as Alva the Vamp in Morthal, Skyrim.
    I'm no barbie doll I'm not your baby girl
    I've done ugly things and I have made mistakes
    And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
    I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed
    So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?
    Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud


    Garbage - Why do you love me


  12. #12

    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    I am a boastful dwarf in an inn in Baldur's Gate. "My hotel is as clean as an Elven arse!". "I need a swig of some strong, dwarrrven ale!".

  13. #13
    Morticia Iunia Bruti's Avatar Praepositus
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    I'm Radeka, ... how earnest you are i love that on a women.^^ Divinity: Original Sin II
    I'm no barbie doll I'm not your baby girl
    I've done ugly things and I have made mistakes
    And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
    I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed
    So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?
    Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud


    Garbage - Why do you love me


  14. #14

    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    One of the most touching things I have come across in computer RPGs is Skyrim's Sven the Slayer. I liked adventuring with him, and at first I did not fully realize what he meant by saying that "It just feels right somehow, having this new life as an adventurer." Well, Skyrim presented him a farmer's son who wanted to pursue an adventurer's life, so it kind of made sense. But the name just felt unbecoming of a farmer's son and very puerile until I learned the truth. What a mind-blowing thing to realize that Sven the Slayer was a real kid who loved the Elder Scroll series and died of cancer. So he was actually immortalized in a new life as an adventurer by the game developers.

  15. #15
    Morticia Iunia Bruti's Avatar Praepositus
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    That is really touching. CA made the same with a dead fan in Rome II, immortal as roman general.
    https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2...le-with-cancer

    I could also be Mjoll the Lioness talking the Dragonborn literally to death.

    "I love the cold air... it's exhilarating. Perhaps it's because of my Nord blood, but there's something about it that makes me feel alive."
    I'm no barbie doll I'm not your baby girl
    I've done ugly things and I have made mistakes
    And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
    I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed
    So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?
    Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud


    Garbage - Why do you love me


  16. #16
    Cookiegod's Avatar Civus Divus Ex Clibane
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    Quote Originally Posted by Derc View Post
    Just casually walking around, doing stuff, being pissed about all these lemons life deals me. When a random stranger appeared, I wanted to complain about it all, and ask him to help me. But he asked me something first. "Ever played Gwent?", it was. I only could nod in silence, and suddenly forgot about all my problems.
    Lol I was thinking the same thing.

    I'd be a sad farmer sitting in front of the burned ruins of my hut, all my earthly possessions lost, all my friends dead and the neighbouring village overrun by monsters. My wife and children raped and murdered by Temerian deserters, their malnourished corpses devoured by ghouls, and their souls hounding me as wraiths.
    A white haired wanderer would wander past me, take that one loaf of bread in that chest that didn't burn down as I loudly exclaim the same three lines over and over to no one in particular. Only then would he ask me what had happened, and I'd tell him about my woes extensively.
    "Do you play Gwent?" he'd then ask me, as his horse looks down on me from the one part of the roof that hasn't collapsed yet. And I'd nod happily before losing my remaining crowns to his overpowered deck featuring a card with a picture of my wife naked. The witcher would journey onwards afterwards, feeling no emotion except surprise that common men such as I hate him.
    Last edited by Cookiegod; August 26, 2021 at 04:53 AM.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    From Socrates over Jesus to me it has always been the lot of any true visionary to be rejected by the reactionary bourgeoisie
    Qualis noncives pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #CLM

  17. #17
    Emperor Commodus's Avatar citizen, allegedly
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    With my luck I'll be an extra, loaded in ancillary to the protagonist whenever they go into a new region, dealt an extra set of canned lines and movments to remember.
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Citizen, dreamer, one-time Praefect and one-time Consul
    sucked in by Jadli & patronized by King Athelstan
    'of the Imperial House of Hader
    also, I like pineapple
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
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    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    You clearly did something illegal to read this. Shame on you.


  18. #18
    EmperorBatman999's Avatar I say, what, what?
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    Probably some guy on a farm somewhere that got trampled by Arthur Morgan and his good boah.

  19. #19
    AqD's Avatar 。◕‿◕。
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    I'll be a high street prostitute in Witcher 1 or 2

    Free sex everyday, load of gold and if a customer is not pretty or handsome it'd be gutted and turned to clown ghouls locked in the open for amusement.

  20. #20
    Morticia Iunia Bruti's Avatar Praepositus
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    Default Re: What is your life like as an NPC?

    Ha, i show Geralt as Shani that i'm the better girlfriend than that , complicated, stressful Triss in Witcher I.

    (And be forced to ditch Geralt because i'm the only adult in our relationship in Witcher II. )
    I'm no barbie doll I'm not your baby girl
    I've done ugly things and I have made mistakes
    And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
    I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed
    So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?
    Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud


    Garbage - Why do you love me


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