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Thread: Hung Mike Pence

  1. #1
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Call me Ishmael
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    Default Hung Mike Pence

    There's a rumor going around lads, maybe even one of those QAnon conspiracy things seen floating about, that claims former Vice President Mike Pence is extremely well endowed.

    Twitter even banned the phrase due to its increasing popularity, i.e. hashtag "Hung Mike Pence" for those uninitiated in the seedy, crusty underbelly of American penile politics.

    Recently, Borat went to the 2020 Republican National Convention (RNC) for his latest "movie film" and called him "Mike Peniz" (in a pseudo-Kazakh but really a Yiddish accent), which seems a little too on the nose now that we know the truth! Once again, Sacha Baron Cohen is a modern day Nostradamus in his predictions of things yet to be told.

    We may never get to the bottom of this, no matter how hard we thrust ourselves into exertion, mentally of course! Needless to say, all that disparaging "small hands" talk aimed at Trump by primary opponent Marco Rubio during the 2016 Republican primaries was curiously silent about the real man behind the curtain, Mike Pence. A discreet figure, he never finds himself alone with another woman aside from his equally conservative Christian wife Karen Pence. Always beaming and smiling when standing next to him, one can only imagine why!

    I would assume it's because he fulfills her in every imaginable way. What could another man possibly offer and who could ever replace him? After all, the plural form of UK's penny sterling is "pence", a subdivision of the British pound, an apt name for a man capable of...pounding out a career for himself.


  2. #2
    Cookiegod's Avatar CIVUS DIVUS EX CLIBANO
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    Default Re: Hung Mike Pence

    You had me at smiling Karen

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
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  3. #3

    Default Re: Hung Mike Pence

    I have paid attention in the last few weeks that Roma has not been around, and I just assumed that his time and attention is being consumed by something big.

  4. #4
    Vladyvid's Avatar Wizard of Turmish
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    Default Re: Hung Mike Pence

    Im sure its TREMENDOUS.

  5. #5
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Hung Mike Pence

    I think it's worth looking into at least

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  6. #6
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Call me Ishmael
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    Default Re: Hung Mike Pence

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    You had me at smiling Karen
    Pence's wife Karen aside, I'm assuming a "Smiling Karen" is a euphemism for a sex act, but I won't go exploring into the precise meaning if that's the case.

    I'll just defer to your judgment and expertise in those matters as a Spanish Inquisitionist with our holy and beloved Tennessee savior Akar on the True Cross, Amen.

    Quote Originally Posted by Septentrionalis View Post
    I have paid attention in the last few weeks that Roma has not been around, and I just assumed that his time and attention is being consumed by something big.
    It's a bigly huge and hugely big topic, these allegations swirling around Former Vice President Mike Pence, a man with an even bigger member.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vladyvid View Post
    Im sure its TREMENDOUS.
    Bigly! No wonder his wife is always so happy and he's always so confident with himself. Also makes sense that he would steer clear of women other than his wife, even when presented with one as a gift in the arms of Borat. He would probably put them into the hospital by accident! Pence knows that his willy is a danger to the public and like any faithful public servant, he does what's necessary to keep Americans out of harm's way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    I think it's worth looking into at least
    You might get an eye gouged out by accident if you try peaking underneath the hood, though! Like getting knocked over by a Louisville Slugger.

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