Feeling 200 Years of Russian Aristocratic Pain in a Single Turn of MTW2

**jsktrogdor** · February 08, 2021, 11:33 PM

I've finally tried playing this game as Novgorod after 15 years of owning it and I've really been struck by the clever ways it to manages to mimic Russian history.

I've struggled to field armies that aren't mostly a rabble of serfs. Even huge forces get trounced by smaller more professional armies. I have fantastic feudal horsemen, but getting them out of their castles bankrupts me. I feel completely isolated from Europe, am plagued by fiercely independent backwoods rebels, and I keep getting drunk resulting in huge personal mistakes -- what I'm saying is that they've done a real great job designing this faction.

But the point really didn't hit home till I set my sights on the holy grail of Russian geopolitics... I wanted a warm water port.

Just one would do. It can't be that hard can it? Surely like five generations of Russian rulers just didn't want it enough. So I fought my way across little rebel kingdoms, scraped tooth and nail through Ukraine throwing hordes of my serf armies at the problem until finally I made it to Crimea. Caffa, it turned out, was the only port that was still diplomatically reasonable to conquer. But the Byzantines were closing in fast and they had a head start on me. So I traded away huge concessions to gain military access through the Byzantine Empire and literally raced their general to the Black Sea. I just managed to beat them there, to scare off the reinforcements, and bottled up the peninsula behind me till my own reinforcements got there to lock down our victory. Caffa was under siege, the troops I needed to take it were just behind me, the Kievan-Rus had been scared off.

I was one turn away from claiming that delicious, delicious gateway to the whole Mediterranean...

The Byzantines made Kievan-Rus a vassal. All of my sieges were automatically called off. Peace was declared on my behalf. I have to go to war with the entire god damn Cuman Khanate, a literal horde of professional soldiers, if I want to snatch up their single port.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

I felt it. I think I got a tiny taste of the frustration that generations of Russian leaders must've felt. Franky? I don't blame Putin anymore. They deserve Crimea. Let them have it.

**Kilo11** · February 10, 2021, 03:16 AM

I am literally laughing out loud right now. Seriously, the frustration, the pain, it is of course unfortunate for you, but it is also just so hilarious. Sorry 'bout that bro

But you've done a really good job here making a one-post AAR. I actually think this is probably the best one-poster I've ever encountered. You've got your story bottled up so nicely, and it's funny, and you even manage to get some historical stuff in there (plus a jab at current geopolitics). So yeah, A+ on this man! The only other thing I can say is: Better luck next time!

**jsktrogdor** · February 11, 2021, 04:40 PM

Thanks, it was a fun night honestly. It was crazy disappointing for about five minutes, then I just found myself laughing at how incredibly the AI had managed to bamboozle me. I've been playing this game for almost 20 years and I've never seen anything like it.

And it really was a moment of genuine empathy where I felt like I better understood that part of Russian history. "OOhhhhh yeah... that is super frustrating."

**Turkafinwë** · February 14, 2021, 05:40 AM

The Tsars appreciate this enormously. It is by far the smartest thing I've seen the AI do in any TW game, ever. Poor Captain Putimir, no Crimea for him. The Byzantines must be laughing like little children at how they played you. Med 2 truly is a game that still holds wonders even today.

**Alwyn** · February 14, 2021, 08:07 AM

How frustrating, to lose your chance of a warm water port after doing everything you could to get there!

**Derc** · February 15, 2021, 05:42 AM

This is one of the rare AAR's where you can feel the epic struggle and pain of the characters. I especially think about Captain Putimir. Stuck in far away lands, and in no proper position of power, he was unable to do anything. If only he would've been Czar. Then it would be guaranteed that Russia would have a warm water port by now.

All in all a funny read. +rep

**Jurand of Cracow** · February 15, 2021, 09:34 AM

Why do you want a water port? In the Medieval 2 engine the overland trade is more profitable than the sea trade, despite the availability of special buildings like ports and wharf. The number of possible trade links with the other provinces combined with the trade bonuses from various buildings make that trade much more important, at the end. The worst provinces are islands, like Crete.