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Thread: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

  1. #1
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    I randomly happened to run into one of my most beloved actors and cinematic icons, Sir Anthony Hopkins, now 82 years old! The only trouble is that he immediately proceeded to beat me up, take my wallet, and threatened to eat selective body parts of mine if I went to the police. Here is the harrowing footage of the moment of assault I managed to catch with the camera on my iPhone as he pummeled me without mercy or restraint:



    Will nobody stop this madman? He has many talents. Apparently one of those includes beating the crap out of men decades younger than him and stealing from them. Who knew? If you know the whereabouts of this dangerous criminal please contact police and alert authorities. Some say he was last spotted eating copious amounts of breakfast food at the Old Country Buffet in North Hollywood, Los Angeles, California. Proceed with caution and if necessary neutralize the suspect with extreme prejudice.

  2. #2
    Flinn's Avatar May the Forza (Italia) be with you!
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    oh Dude if I love the man

    Under the patronage of Finlander, patron of Lugotorix & Lifthrasir & joerock22 & Socrates1984 & Kilo11 & Vladyvid & Dick Cheney & phazer of the Imperial House of Hader

  3. #3
    Settra's Avatar the Imperishable
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    I am very disappointed in you Anthony.

    Under the patronage of Pie the Inkster Click here to find a hidden gem on the forum!


  4. #4
    Cookiegod's Avatar Primicerius
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    Oh man I wish Anthony Hopkins would beat me up and steal my wallet!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    From Socrates over Jesus to me it has always been the lot of any true visionary to be rejected by the reactionary bourgeoisie
    Qualis noncives pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #CLM

  5. #5
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby of TWC
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    The man has ascended to levels we mere mortals can only dream of achieving. Cease your foolish quest Roma. It will only end in failure and disappointment.

    Chapter XXIX: Aldburg
    #JusticeForAkar #JusticeForCal #JusticeForCookie #JusticeForAthelchan



  6. #6
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    On that note I wonder if the police could even detain him. Would he just vanish into thin air in that case, with his sinister laughter echoing into the distance? Or would he simply escape like he did as Zorro?


  7. #7

    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    This is how I imagined this thread. Was not disappointed.


  8. #8
    Vladyvid's Avatar Wizard of Turmish
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    Just because he looks like Anthony Hopkins... the deepfake tech is too advanced to believe anything! That could be anyone! Even you, Roma!

  9. #9
    pacifism's Avatar see the day
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    Quote Originally Posted by Derc View Post
    This is how I imagined this thread. Was not disappointed.
    Pros and cons of having no arms
    Pro: you can't be handcuffed.
    Con: it's much easier for Anthony Hopkins to beat you up and steal your wallet.

    Unfortunately, this thread has mostly only raised my opinion of Sir Hopkins. Sorry, Roma.
    "I'd bash ya across the jaw if I had hands!"
    Being a little bit more kind and nuanced on the internet can go a long way.
    ---
    “Unfortunately, we’re all ‘someone else’ to someone else.”

  10. #10
    irontaino's Avatar Pizza time!
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    God, I wish that were me.
    Fact:Apples taste good, and you can throw them at people if you're being attacked
    Under the patronage of big daddy Elfdude

    A.C.A.B.

  11. #11
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    Quote Originally Posted by Vladyvid View Post
    Just because he looks like Anthony Hopkins... the deepfake tech is too advanced to believe anything! That could be anyone! Even you, Roma!
    Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye, on a boy scout's honor that is the one and only Anthony Hopkins beating me senseless as I was merely trying to listen to the thrash metal song "Combat Mosh" by Lich King on my iPhone, at which point he proceeded to steal my wallet and levy several ominous and foreboding threats on my person.

    Quote Originally Posted by Derc View Post
    This is how I imagined this thread. Was not disappointed.

    There is an international criminal conspiracy here, and I will root it out! Derc has apparently formed a global underground network and spy ring of hustlers and tricksters with Anthony Hopkins, both of whom share the spoils of theft in one big communal pot. They must be stopped!


  12. #12
    Cookiegod's Avatar Primicerius
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    Quote Originally Posted by Derc View Post
    That's a perfectly normal way to hold a wallet.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    From Socrates over Jesus to me it has always been the lot of any true visionary to be rejected by the reactionary bourgeoisie
    Qualis noncives pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #CLM

  13. #13

    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    Oh my, Roma, this is genious, even though the watermarks are all over my body when they should stay on all that banknotes. Here's a coin from your wallet.

    Quote Originally Posted by Walletgod
    That's a perfectly normal way to hold a wallet.
    With the same low res cuts at your fingertips?
    Should've used a proper scissor instead of a magic wand. Even Potter would agree.

  14. #14
    Cookiegod's Avatar Primicerius
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    THIS is how you steal a wallet, Derc! THIS!

    Coincidentally this is also how I steal credit for a pic I didn't make. Everyone rep me pls for the pic I totally made myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    From Socrates over Jesus to me it has always been the lot of any true visionary to be rejected by the reactionary bourgeoisie
    Qualis noncives pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #CLM

  15. #15

    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    Well, if the dude leaves no name in the rep comment, he deserves no better

  16. #16
    Cookiegod's Avatar Primicerius
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    You and Roma both got Hopkins'd

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    From Socrates over Jesus to me it has always been the lot of any true visionary to be rejected by the reactionary bourgeoisie
    Qualis noncives pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #CLM

  17. #17
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby of TWC
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    Look at those soulless eyes. He reminds me of another God.

    "Sir Anthony Hopkins welcomes you Roma_Victrix. Come, Roma. Friend or traitor, come. Come and look upon the Heart, and Akulakhan. And bring your wallet... I have need of it."

    Chapter XXIX: Aldburg
    #JusticeForAkar #JusticeForCal #JusticeForCookie #JusticeForAthelchan



  18. #18
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    You and Roma both got Hopkins'd
    I should have known it was you all along in an Anthony Hopkins mask. That makes plenty of sense. If I knew the true identity of Cookiegod, though, I could actually do something about it. I would summon the Gendarme of France to track you down, but despite your avatar I already know for a fact you aren't French since you criticized the hell out of them from a foreigner's perspective in another thread, for deliberately driving their minority languages into extinction.

    Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest, Cookiegod?

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Look at those soulless eyes. He reminds me of another God.

    "Sir Anthony Hopkins welcomes you Roma_Victrix. Come, Roma. Friend or traitor, come. Come and look upon the Heart, and Akulakhan. And bring your wallet... I have need of it."
    I didn't realize that I had stepped into the fictional universe of Skyrim to get my wallet back, but here I am. Thanks a lot for nothing, Anthony Hopkins! You just made me exit reality itself. I'm gonna want that wallet back, pal, even if I have to wrestle it from your wrinkly, elderly hands.

    Quote Originally Posted by Derc View Post
    Well, if the dude leaves no name in the rep comment, he deserves no better
    They are the ones who deserve to get their wallet stolen, not mine! The world is not a fair or just place.

  19. #19
    Vladyvid's Avatar Wizard of Turmish
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    Thats not Anthony Hopkins, really, thats him:


  20. #20
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby of TWC
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    Default Re: Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

    Quote Originally Posted by Vladyvid View Post
    Thats not Anthony Hopkins, really, thats him:

    This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them. HIDE YOUR WALLETS PEOPLE!

    Chapter XXIX: Aldburg
    #JusticeForAkar #JusticeForCal #JusticeForCookie #JusticeForAthelchan



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