Sir Anthony Hopkins stole my wallet

[Roma_Victrix]

I randomly happened to run into one of my most beloved actors and cinematic icons, Sir Anthony Hopkins, now 82 years old! The only trouble is that he immediately proceeded to beat me up, take my wallet, and threatened to eat selective body parts of mine if I went to the police. Here is the harrowing footage of the moment of assault I managed to catch with the camera on my iPhone as he pummeled me without mercy or restraint:



Will nobody stop this madman? He has many talents. Apparently one of those includes beating the crap out of men decades younger than him and stealing from them. Who knew? If you know the whereabouts of this dangerous criminal please contact police and alert authorities. Some say he was last spotted eating copious amounts of breakfast food at the Old Country Buffet in North Hollywood, Los Angeles, California. Proceed with caution and if necessary neutralize the suspect with extreme prejudice.

[Flinn]

oh Dude if I love the man

[Sir Adrian]

I am very disappointed in you Anthony.

[Cookiegod]

Oh man I wish Anthony Hopkins would beat me up and steal my wallet!

[Turkafinwë]

The man has ascended to levels we mere mortals can only dream of achieving. Cease your foolish quest Roma. It will only end in failure and disappointment.

[Roma_Victrix]

On that note I wonder if the police could even detain him. Would he just vanish into thin air in that case, with his sinister laughter echoing into the distance? Or would he simply escape like he did as Zorro?

[Derc]

This is how I imagined this thread. Was not disappointed.

[Vladyvid]

Just because he looks like Anthony Hopkins... the deepfake tech is too advanced to believe anything! That could be anyone! Even you, Roma!

[pacifism]

This is how I imagined this thread. Was not disappointed.

Pros and cons of having no arms
Pro: you can't be handcuffed.
Con: it's much easier for Anthony Hopkins to beat you up and steal your wallet.

Unfortunately, this thread has mostly only raised my opinion of Sir Hopkins. Sorry, Roma.
"I'd bash ya across the jaw if I had hands!"

[irontaino]

God, I wish that were me.

[Roma_Victrix]

Just because he looks like Anthony Hopkins... the deepfake tech is too advanced to believe anything! That could be anyone! Even you, Roma!

Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye, on a boy scout's honor that is the one and only Anthony Hopkins beating me senseless as I was merely trying to listen to the thrash metal song "Combat Mosh" by Lich King on my iPhone, at which point he proceeded to steal my wallet and levy several ominous and foreboding threats on my person.

This is how I imagined this thread. Was not disappointed.

There is an international criminal conspiracy here, and I will root it out! Derc has apparently formed a global underground network and spy ring of hustlers and tricksters with Anthony Hopkins, both of whom share the spoils of theft in one big communal pot. They must be stopped!

[Cookiegod]

That's a perfectly normal way to hold a wallet.

[Derc]

Oh my, Roma, this is genious, even though the watermarks are all over my body when they should stay on all that banknotes. Here's a coin from your wallet.

That's a perfectly normal way to hold a wallet.

With the same low res cuts at your fingertips?
Should've used a proper scissor instead of a magic wand. Even Potter would agree.

[Cookiegod]

THIS is how you steal a wallet, Derc! THIS!

Coincidentally this is also how I steal credit for a pic I didn't make. Everyone rep me pls for the pic I totally made myself

[Derc]

Well, if the dude leaves no name in the rep comment, he deserves no better

[Cookiegod]

You and Roma both got Hopkins'd

[Turkafinwë]

Look at those soulless eyes. He reminds me of another God.

"Sir Anthony Hopkins welcomes you Roma_Victrix. Come, Roma. Friend or traitor, come. Come and look upon the Heart, and Akulakhan. And bring your wallet... I have need of it."

[Roma_Victrix]

You and Roma both got Hopkins'd

I should have known it was you all along in an Anthony Hopkins mask. That makes plenty of sense. If I knew the true identity of Cookiegod, though, I could actually do something about it. I would summon the Gendarme of France to track you down, but despite your avatar I already know for a fact you aren't French since you criticized the hell out of them from a foreigner's perspective in another thread, for deliberately driving their minority languages into extinction.

Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest, Cookiegod?

Look at those soulless eyes. He reminds me of another God.

"Sir Anthony Hopkins welcomes you Roma_Victrix. Come, Roma. Friend or traitor, come. Come and look upon the Heart, and Akulakhan. And bring your wallet... I have need of it."

I didn't realize that I had stepped into the fictional universe of Skyrim to get my wallet back, but here I am. Thanks a lot for nothing, Anthony Hopkins! You just made me exit reality itself. I'm gonna want that wallet back, pal, even if I have to wrestle it from your wrinkly, elderly hands.

Well, if the dude leaves no name in the rep comment, he deserves no better

They are the ones who deserve to get their wallet stolen, not mine! The world is not a fair or just place.

[Vladyvid]

Thats not Anthony Hopkins, really, thats him:

[Turkafinwë]

Thats not Anthony Hopkins, really, thats him:

This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them. HIDE YOUR WALLETS PEOPLE!