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Thread: And now, for your reading pleasure, Roma_Victrix will summarily narrate the whole of human pre-history before the dawn of civilization

  1. #21
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Call me Ishmael
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    Default Re: And now, for your reading pleasure, Roma_Victrix will summarily narrate the whole of human pre-history before the dawn of civilization

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    I understand that, I'm just saying that someone has to live in Cornwall.

    And who the hell wants to do that?
    Cornish chickens (Cornish game hens), perhaps? They're among the dumbest little descendants of the dinosaurs, though, not exactly useful as tin miners.

  2. #22
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: And now, for your reading pleasure, Roma_Victrix will summarily narrate the whole of human pre-history before the dawn of civilization

    Something so tasty wouldn't live there if they had no choice.

    I absolve them of their sins.

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  3. #23
    Cookiegod's Avatar CIVUS DIVUS EX CLIBANO
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    Default Re: And now, for your reading pleasure, Roma_Victrix will summarily narrate the whole of human pre-history before the dawn of civilization

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    Something so tasty wouldn't live there if they had no choice.
    So you're saying they're living there by choice?

    I absolve them of their meat.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    From Socrates over Jesus to me it has always been the lot of any true visionary to be rejected by the reactionary bourgeoisie
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  4. #24
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: And now, for your reading pleasure, Roma_Victrix will summarily narrate the whole of human pre-history before the dawn of civilization

    Well obviously they're getting eaten either way. That goes without saying.

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  5. #25
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Call me Ishmael
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    Default Re: And now, for your reading pleasure, Roma_Victrix will summarily narrate the whole of human pre-history before the dawn of civilization

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    Well obviously they're getting eaten either way. That goes without saying.
    Yep, the're getting consumed one way or the other: through the mouth and esophagus to the stomach, or as a Guantanamo Bay style blended medley for a rectal feeding tube.

    Life is all about rectal feeding tubes, actually. Something the Bronze Age losers would have known if they weren't busy collapsing. Haha!

  6. #26
    Vladyvid's Avatar Wizard of Turmish
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    Default Re: And now, for your reading pleasure, Roma_Victrix will summarily narrate the whole of human pre-history before the dawn of civilization


  7. #27
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: And now, for your reading pleasure, Roma_Victrix will summarily narrate the whole of human pre-history before the dawn of civilization

    SSDD

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  8. #28
    Basileos Leandros I's Avatar Writing is an art
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    Default Re: And now, for your reading pleasure, Roma_Victrix will summarily narrate the whole of human pre-history before the dawn of civilization

    Roma, it's your birthday today - how about some narration?
    Ja mata, TosaInu. Forever remembered.

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  9. #29
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: And now, for your reading pleasure, Roma_Victrix will summarily narrate the whole of human pre-history before the dawn of civilization

    Apparently no.

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  10. #30
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Call me Ishmael
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    Default Re: And now, for your reading pleasure, Roma_Victrix will summarily narrate the whole of human pre-history before the dawn of civilization

    Sorry guys. I was too busy getting drunk with friends and family on my birthday to narrate parts of human history on TWC.

    For your reading pleasure, however, I will now narrate the history of the ethnically Tangut state of the Western Xia Dynasty in northwestern China that lasted from 1038 to 1227 AD, because you're a white Western racist and you need to know about things other than just Julius Caesar, Napoleon, and Hitler, you Eurocentric boob face.

    Haha! Take that stupid Ganzhou Uyghurs and Song dynasty Han Chinese. The Tanguts rule! Our emperor is the true Son of Heaven!
    Oh crap, the Khitan Liao dynasty emperor has fled to us, Jurchens of the Jin dynasty have taken rest of northern China.
    They seem like trouble. Better pay them tribute and give them what they want, hand over that Liao emperor!
    Who's this Temujin Mongol barbarian think he is trying to raid our borders, anyway?
    Hah! Calls himself Genghis Khan of all the Mongols now, what a joke! Not a real threat.
    Crap, they're besieging the capital, Yinchuan.
    Quick, we gotta appease these smelly nomads somehow. Let's placate them with a marriage of Princess Chaka to this Genghis guy!
    Stupid Jurchens, stupid Jin dynasty! Worthless so-called allies. They didn't help us against the Mongols. Let's invade them and kick their asses!
    Oh, now Mongols want our help to fight Khwarezmia and Persia! Too bad! We'll see how invincible so-called unstoppable Mongols are when we ally with Jin and Song!
    Wait, crap, the Mongols conquered Khwarezmia. They're headed back this way? Uh-oh.
    Crap, they're invading us, Genghis and Subutai! Crap, our cities are surrendering! Crap, they're beating our armies!
    Ha-ha! Genghis died of illness! Pussy! Maybe these Mongols will be more agreeable now to negotiations. Our great Western Xia emperor should be a great negotiator and show good faith by surrendering and...
    Crap. They executed our emperor. Crap! They executed the whole royal family! Crap, we gotta run, they're killing us all! I hear Tibet and Sichuan are lovely this time of year.

    THE END.
    Seriously, though, that was the end for a lot of Tanguts who got mass-murdered.

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