We're all getting older, it is true, but that does not mean we have to give in and accept the insidious, horrific customs that comprise modern dad culture. Let's work together to compile a list of things that should never be said or done, because they are cringe-inducing, eye-rolling material that our teenage selves would abhor. Slowly but surely, it has happened. Even I've laughed at or told a few dad jokes lately. The poison is slow, but without seeking medical attention the problem can spread to the whole brain! By that point, you're already dead, at least figuratively speaking.
So, let's begin! Here's a thing that my own father has often said, one of many phrases that I have vowed to never use:
"You don't have the sense that God promised a soda cracker!" - Just an awful, terrible, no good, very bad outdated phrase that should be metaphorically incinerated.