Hello all. This thread is going to be about an ongoing competition for who can be my next father after the old one broke and we threw the old one in the garbage . See, in my 21 years I’ve lived a sad life of poverty and the lack of a strong older male influence. Now at my age I finally realize my life has been missing one key attribute to make it complete, a dad. So how better to find one than the TD, the bastion of chivalry on TWC?
Applicants are to be tested on a variety of different skills and qualities, namely:
-Wealth: This one is pretty simple actually. If you have more money you will be a better dad. The end.
-Sports: I like sports, especially those with an infliction of violence upon participants. Think things like football, rugby, quidditch, etc.
-Career: What do you do? If you have a cool job all the other kids at school will say “hey ggggtotalwarrior, your dad is so cool I wish I was you” and that will make me very cool at school
-Rep: If my dad has lots of rep people on Total War Center will say “hey ggggtotalwarrior, your dad is so cool I wish I was you” and that will make me very cool at total war center
-Willingness to give me rep: I know what you’re thinking, “oh hey gggg this sounds like a rep trading scheme, how could you so blatantly-“ WRONG! If I’m to have a great relationship with my dad I need them to shower me with as many compliments as possible in order to restore the self-esteem my old dad destroyed when I was 9. Rep is a form of compliment
-Willingness to commit acts of treason against the United States government: This needs no further explanation.
-An irrational hatred of Ryan Gosling: that guy and his little crooked grin and dreamy eyes
-A rational hatred of Tom Cruise.
Ok nerds. That’s all I’m judging you on so it is your job to now create the most amazing applications based on this criteria for the “ggggtotalwarrior new dad sweepstakes”. The most convincing applicant will be allowed to be my dad for the next 4 to 94 years and/or my death, whichever comes first.