Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 76

Thread: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

  1. #1
    ggggtotalwarrior's Avatar Primicerius
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    3,926

    Default The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Hello all. This thread is going to be about an ongoing competition for who can be my next father after the old one broke and we threw the old one in the garbage . See, in my 21 years I’ve lived a sad life of poverty and the lack of a strong older male influence. Now at my age I finally realize my life has been missing one key attribute to make it complete, a dad. So how better to find one than the TD, the bastion of chivalry on TWC?

    Applicants are to be tested on a variety of different skills and qualities, namely:

    -Wealth: This one is pretty simple actually. If you have more money you will be a better dad. The end.
    -Sports: I like sports, especially those with an infliction of violence upon participants. Think things like football, rugby, quidditch, etc.
    -Career: What do you do? If you have a cool job all the other kids at school will say “hey ggggtotalwarrior, your dad is so cool I wish I was you” and that will make me very cool at school
    -Rep: If my dad has lots of rep people on Total War Center will say “hey ggggtotalwarrior, your dad is so cool I wish I was you” and that will make me very cool at total war center
    -Willingness to give me rep: I know what you’re thinking, “oh hey gggg this sounds like a rep trading scheme, how could you so blatantly-“ WRONG! If I’m to have a great relationship with my dad I need them to shower me with as many compliments as possible in order to restore the self-esteem my old dad destroyed when I was 9. Rep is a form of compliment
    -Willingness to commit acts of treason against the United States government: This needs no further explanation.
    -An irrational hatred of Ryan Gosling: that guy and his little crooked grin and dreamy eyes
    -A rational hatred of Tom Cruise.


    Ok nerds. That’s all I’m judging you on so it is your job to now create the most amazing applications based on this criteria for the “ggggtotalwarrior new dad sweepstakes”. The most convincing applicant will be allowed to be my dad for the next 4 to 94 years and/or my death, whichever comes first.
    Rep me and I'll rep you back. (IF YOU LEAVE YOUR NAME!)
    Quote Originally Posted by MrZanyGaming View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Strider View Post
    Oh, and this is false. As a white person, I can say that it's not possible to be racist to a white person.
    Congratulations, you just lowered my IQ by 10 points.

  2. #2
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
    Patrician Citizen Censor

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    12th Plane of Torment
    Posts
    14,084
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Yeah I think I can do it, here's what I bring to the table

    - Stern discipline and regular beatings

    - Very low expectations

    - Low effort. I don't really care about what you do.

    - Lots of rep. If you sort by users with the most rep, I'm on the third page.

    - Complete apathy. I won't walk out on you because I'll probably forget you even exist.

    Join the Thema Devia Discord here.
    If you would like a TWC Wiki page made for you click here
    Son, Heir, and Wartime Consigliere of King Athelstan

    Proud Adopted Patron of Cope






  3. #3
    ggggtotalwarrior's Avatar Primicerius
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    3,926

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    I’m confused as to why you’d enforce regular beatings and strict discipline while also not really caring what I do or having any expectations. What exactly would you be disciplining me for? However, the rep is very tempting but you’ve also made me question if I should seek out users on the first 2 pages of top reppers.

    You have an interesting candidacy Akar but I need to see more info from you before I can really see where you stand. What is your opinion on Ryan Gosling and/or Tom Cruise?
    Rep me and I'll rep you back. (IF YOU LEAVE YOUR NAME!)
    Quote Originally Posted by MrZanyGaming View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Strider View Post
    Oh, and this is false. As a white person, I can say that it's not possible to be racist to a white person.
    Congratulations, you just lowered my IQ by 10 points.

  4. #4
    Flinn's Avatar Addio, Maestro!
    Patrician Citizen Content Emeritus Gaming Director

    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Italy
    Posts
    13,275
    Blog Entries
    24

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge



    -Wealth: are 9 billions € enough?
    -Sports: I owned Milan, 7 Champions League..
    -Career: other than the Pope and the Queen of England, I've done all the possible jobs
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    -Rep: My incarnation here, known as Flinn, is the 9th most repped member ever
    -Willingness to give me rep: Flinn can give unlimited amount of rep, every time he wants
    -Willingness to commit acts of treason against the United States government: I wanted to Michelle Obama, is that enough?
    -An irrational hatred of Ryan Gosling: I don't know who is him, but I can hire hitmen
    -A rational hatred of Tom Cruise.: *see above

    also, this; you'll have many many nice mamas

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Under the patronage of Finlander, patron of Lugotorix & Lifthrasir & joerock22 & Socrates1984 & Kilo11 of the Imperial House of Hader

  5. #5
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
    Patrician Citizen Censor

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    12th Plane of Torment
    Posts
    14,084
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Wait what job are those last two pics supposed to be? Furrier and gigolo?

    Join the Thema Devia Discord here.
    If you would like a TWC Wiki page made for you click here
    Son, Heir, and Wartime Consigliere of King Athelstan

    Proud Adopted Patron of Cope






  6. #6
    Flinn's Avatar Addio, Maestro!
    Patrician Citizen Content Emeritus Gaming Director

    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Italy
    Posts
    13,275
    Blog Entries
    24

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    You'd better get a closer look to the other picture, boy
    Under the patronage of Finlander, patron of Lugotorix & Lifthrasir & joerock22 & Socrates1984 & Kilo11 of the Imperial House of Hader

  7. #7
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
    Patrician Citizen Censor

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    12th Plane of Torment
    Posts
    14,084
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Oh my

    Join the Thema Devia Discord here.
    If you would like a TWC Wiki page made for you click here
    Son, Heir, and Wartime Consigliere of King Athelstan

    Proud Adopted Patron of Cope






  8. #8
    Abdülmecid I's Avatar ¡Ay Carmela!
    Moderation Overseer Civitate Moderation Mentor

    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    5,190

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Well, Silvio is alright, I suppose...
    ...
    ...
    ... for a beta male, of course!

    Giulio, on the other hand:



    1. Wealth: Apart from family finds, enjoying direct access to a significant portion of the budget of several state ministries, police agencies, slightly conservative paramilitaries and private enterprises, which may specialise into security, construction of housing residences/public infrastructure, recreational activities and trade of luxury goods, like tools of self-protection, medical supplies and etc.

    2. Sports: Racing, shooting or preferably a combination of both.


    3. Career: Prime Minister (thrice), Minister of Culture and Environment, Minister of State Holdings, Minister of Foreign Affairs, Minister of the Interior (twice), Minister of Economic Planning, Minister of Industry and Commerce, Minister of the Treasury, Minister of Defense (twice), Minister of Finance, Secretary of the Council of Ministers, Senator for life.

    4. Reputation: Seven ruby fleurs de lys, one golden fleur de lys and four golden rings.

    5. Willingness to give reputation: I'm always ready to perform any reciprocally beneficial task, in order to serve the greater good, as defined by our moral principles or lack thereof.

    6. Committing treason against the United States: Well, I like President Nixon. Excellent gentleman of impeccable ethics and a remarkably innovative vision about our common interests. Unlike Aldo Moro.



    7. Ryan Gosling: Ryan who? Is he a gigolo, presumably? Absolutely despicable.

    8. Tom Cruise: Sounds like an Irish invader, like one of those miscreants that steal the jobs of honest and hard-working Italian mobsters in the colonies. He should be scorned and hated, in that order.

  9. #9
    Flinn's Avatar Addio, Maestro!
    Patrician Citizen Content Emeritus Gaming Director

    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Italy
    Posts
    13,275
    Blog Entries
    24

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    damn, I have to give up, no one messes with Giulio
    Under the patronage of Finlander, patron of Lugotorix & Lifthrasir & joerock22 & Socrates1984 & Kilo11 of the Imperial House of Hader

  10. #10
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
    Patrician Citizen Censor

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    12th Plane of Torment
    Posts
    14,084
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Better to admit defeat than die a winner. Or at least, that's what I tell people who lose.

    Suckers.

    Join the Thema Devia Discord here.
    If you would like a TWC Wiki page made for you click here
    Son, Heir, and Wartime Consigliere of King Athelstan

    Proud Adopted Patron of Cope






  11. #11
    Flinn's Avatar Addio, Maestro!
    Patrician Citizen Content Emeritus Gaming Director

    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Italy
    Posts
    13,275
    Blog Entries
    24

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    Better to admit defeat than die a winner. Or at least, that's what I tell people who lose.

    Suckers.
    you don't know what you are talking about.. with Giulio they are gonna make a bridge out of you, one small pc for each pillar/beam of it

    Do not mess with the otherworldly, dude
    Under the patronage of Finlander, patron of Lugotorix & Lifthrasir & joerock22 & Socrates1984 & Kilo11 of the Imperial House of Hader

  12. #12

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    This little brat has so many requirements from a dad but doesn't name one thing that he has to offer as a son. The selfishness and unreasonable expectation of instant gratification that this generation displays.

  13. #13
    ggggtotalwarrior's Avatar Primicerius
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    3,926

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Clearly this man is just upset he cannot compete with such great candidates so far^

    However it has come to my attention Giulio Andreotti is in fact dead, and in my completely arbitrary opinion I have decided ghostly spirits are banned from the competition. For one, how are they gonna access their money if they don’t have bank accounts and thus support my decadent lifestyle? Secondly, how am I going to introduce my dad as the ghostly spirit of an Italian prime minister? That’ll be super lame. We won’t even be able to play catch because the ball will literally go right through you. Application Rejected!
    Last edited by ggggtotalwarrior; May 28, 2020 at 12:40 PM.
    Rep me and I'll rep you back. (IF YOU LEAVE YOUR NAME!)
    Quote Originally Posted by MrZanyGaming View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Strider View Post
    Oh, and this is false. As a white person, I can say that it's not possible to be racist to a white person.
    Congratulations, you just lowered my IQ by 10 points.

  14. #14
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
    Patrician Citizen Censor

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    12th Plane of Torment
    Posts
    14,084
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Everyone knows fatherhood is an entirely transactional relationship.

    Join the Thema Devia Discord here.
    If you would like a TWC Wiki page made for you click here
    Son, Heir, and Wartime Consigliere of King Athelstan

    Proud Adopted Patron of Cope






  15. #15

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Quote Originally Posted by ggggtotalwarrior View Post
    Clearly this man is just upset he cannot compete with such great candidates so far
    You need to learn some propositional logic. I am not JUST upset about not being able to compete with such great candidates so far.

    You are a selfish little turd AND I am upset about not being able to compete with such great candidates so far. Both are true at the same time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    Everyone knows fatherhood is an entirely transactional relationship.
    Burned. The most intelligent retort I've heard in a while.

  16. #16
    ggggtotalwarrior's Avatar Primicerius
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    3,926

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Hmmm well this is simply a dad application thread. If you wish to make a son qualification thread elsewhere I will gladly post in it
    Rep me and I'll rep you back. (IF YOU LEAVE YOUR NAME!)
    Quote Originally Posted by MrZanyGaming View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Strider View Post
    Oh, and this is false. As a white person, I can say that it's not possible to be racist to a white person.
    Congratulations, you just lowered my IQ by 10 points.

  17. #17
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
    Patrician Citizen Censor

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    12th Plane of Torment
    Posts
    14,084
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    You should have to prove yourself ready to be a son before you can ask for a dad.

    Join the Thema Devia Discord here.
    If you would like a TWC Wiki page made for you click here
    Son, Heir, and Wartime Consigliere of King Athelstan

    Proud Adopted Patron of Cope






  18. #18

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Quote Originally Posted by ggggtotalwarrior View Post
    Hmmm well this is simply a dad application thread. If you wish to make a son qualification thread elsewhere I will gladly post in it
    As someone involved in recruiting processes, I know that attracting talent in a healthy economy is a two-way street. If you want someone to provide for you and be the best dad imaginable, you need to meet them half way. If you assume that there are a bunch of people desperate to adopt just any 21-year-old no matter what, go ahead.

    If you are not confident about that, you could write reassuring things such as "I will listen to you about how this great sport of gridiron football has been ruined by the recent rule changes, and I will not challenge your views as long as you take me to the games". That would go a long way.

  19. #19
    ggggtotalwarrior's Avatar Primicerius
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    3,926

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    You’re right.

    to all future dad applicants: I will listen to you about how this great sport of gridiron football has been ruined by the recent rule changes, and I will not challenge your views as long as you take me to the games
    Rep me and I'll rep you back. (IF YOU LEAVE YOUR NAME!)
    Quote Originally Posted by MrZanyGaming View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Strider View Post
    Oh, and this is false. As a white person, I can say that it's not possible to be racist to a white person.
    Congratulations, you just lowered my IQ by 10 points.

  20. #20

    Default Re: The “Who Wants to be My Dad” Challenge

    Quote Originally Posted by ggggtotalwarrior View Post
    You’re right.

    to all future dad applicants: I will listen to you about how this great sport of gridiron football has been ruined by the recent rule changes, and I will not challenge your views as long as you take me to the games
    Thank you. That is a triumph of reason. I am not available for fatherhood though as it is obvious that other applicants have much more to offer you. I am just going to observe you getting ever more enticing offers and feel sad that I missed the opportunity to be someone's father. But I can manage that. I think.

    And I firmly believe that the NFL should stop monkeying around with things such as kickoffs and making defensive play harder all the time.

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •