It's about time you know the truth

[Flinn]

The secret of Silvio Berlusconi's success

Enjoy the read, it will be like the Odyssey or the Divine Comedy, it will simply illuminate you.

For those of you who are lazier, I'll quote some passages, so that you can at the least have a glimpse of his glory.

You'll never be like him!

Let's make things clear from the very beginning eh

He has been heard speaking on YouTube, giving sex advice to a prostitute, Patrizia Addario, who had a hidden tape recorder under her breakfast napkin after a night of group sex

Do I need to add anything? Now don't be naughty by googling her, I've done that for you

And his offensive and vulgar off-the-cuff wisecracks at international meetings, such as saying that German Chancellor Angela Merkel's behind is not worth penetrating, do little to endear him at home or abroad.

There's no way that any English translation or paraphrase would render the epic nature of the original Italian comment ("Quella culona inchiavabile della Merkel"). For that sentence alone, he's deserving being enlisted among the Fathers of the Nation.. if you can't understand why I say this is because you don't know the joint history of Italians and Germans, so go fetch yourself a book of history.

The potency of that aura was perhaps unwittingly revealed by the conservative newspaper editor Vittorio Feltri. Speaking on a national TV talk show on Monday, Feltri decried those asking for Berlusconi to step aside. "If you were in England, you wouldn't ask the Queen to step aside, would you?" Feltri burst out angrily.

To his admirers, then, Berlusconi is not simply one more of the Italy revolving-door premiers who have characterised postwar Italy. He is royalty

Boom. All the other puny little politicians can go back home.. thanks for coming but the star has arrived, we'll let you know.. and bla bla

At elementary school, as he is wont to remind listeners, he wrote homework assignments for his mates, for which he was paid with their mid-morning snacks.

...

The Berlusconi Mausoleum= The invitation came via a sculptor friend, who had just completed for Mr Berlusconi a family mausoleum in the spacious park surrounding his villa.

The grandiose Berlusconi tomb has a 10-tonne abstract sculpture of white Carrara marble as a grave marker above ground. In imitation of an Etruscan chamber tomb, broad marble steps lead down to a narrow passage to a spacious burial chamber - a monumental pink granite sarcophagus which reminded me of one of the tombs of the Pharaohs in the Valley of the Kings in Egypt.

Thirty-six empty burial recesses surround Mr Berlusconi's future resting place on a central plinth. "Who will occupy them?" I asked. "Family and business associates," he replied. I understood immediately the Italian leader's strong sense of association of family and business loyalty.

By the way, the monumental tomb has been declared illegal as it infringes local building regulations. It may never be occupied by its owner.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The activities of the bevy of leggy showgirls and escorts who have frequented the court and attended the parties of the man that many commentators now disparagingly call The Sultan, have become staple fare for many Italian newspapers and magazines.

Spoiler for ahi, papi!: 

A collection of great pictures-videos, pretty much self explanatory

This is the most epic thing you'll see in your life

Love him, or leave him

[Sir Adrian]

Could we make him president of the EU?

[Akar]

Why stop there?

[Diamat]

Italians exported their penchant for the theatrical to the Americas, especially to New York, where a little guy called Donald picked it up.

Edit: Because of your videos, my youtube is now recommending me Italian female pole vaulting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTYPPnKGPPE

[Sir Adrian]

I had no idea pole vaulting could be so...stimulating.

[Pontifex Maximus]

I aspire to this level of playboy

[ggggtotalwarrior]

Diamat taking a dump on my culture. I might have to report this offensive post.

[Akar]

I watched far more of that than I expected.

[Derc]

Berlusconi is simply the embodiment of a pure Italian.

[Akar]

Gross.

[Flinn]

I aspire to this level of playboy

good boy, that's the spirit!

Berlusconi is simply the embodiment of a pure Italian.

Definitely, that's why he was so loved

However, there would also be good things to say about him, but they are very much overwhelmed by the funny ones (another typical Italian habit).

We had other, better or much worse Prime Ministers, but no one was as "Italian" as Berlusconi..

lol I tell you one stupid thing.. when I started my "political" career last year I made it clear to everybody that I would not get mixed with any politician, either local or national, and that I didn't need to get favors or to compromise with anyone.. but truth be told, if I had the opportunity, I would be meeting Berlusoni, that's granted.. I suppose this is so because we don't see him as a "politician" (in the derogatory sense, someone who's been living of politics exploiting the others during all their life), but rather someone who was so smart to bend politics (and expert politicians) to his will, starting from being a poor and silly man.. that's a sort of "Italian Dream", if you people ask me...

[Akar]

A politician in need is no politician indeed.

[paleologos]

All this reminds me of that time Pussy Riot were arrested in Russia:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Akar]

I can't tell if that's a great band name or a terrible band name

[Pontifex Maximus]

good boy, that's the spirit!

My very good friend, that is where I fail my Italian friends lol. I can't even cook pasta correctly

[Akar]

Just leave noodles in cool water over night and eat in the morning.

[Frunk]

I can't tell if that's a great band name or a terrible band name

What's not great about Pussy Riot?

[Akar]

I mean I guess I just preferred Pussy Peaceful Protest

[Roma_Victrix]

I mean I guess I just preferred Pussy Peaceful Protest

Watch out, everyone, Akar is a nark! He can no longer be trusted by the cool kids who hang out under the bleachers.

What's not great about Pussy Riot?

Someone better come up with a better explanation than the fact they displease almighty Putin. Such children for thinking they can have free speech!

We had other, better or much worse Prime Ministers, but no one was as "Italian" as Berlusconi.

That's the absolute perfect way to describe him. You don't have to agree with everything he has said or done to nod in acknowledgement that the man is mischievously and oftentimes riotously funny. He's also undeniably an earthly representative of Italia in the flesh and embodies all the hyperbolic qualities of a stereotypical Italian. Not all Italians have his sense of boldness or bravado, but culturally he would seem to be able to fit in at the table of any Italian holiday feast, if only as the eccentric uncle families usually have.

[Flinn]

My very good friend, that is where I fail my Italian friends lol. I can't even cook pasta correctly

I must start a cooking class in the Uni, then

Just leave noodles in cool water over night and eat in the morning.

I already told you, you'll burn in Hell for your disrespect of Pasta; you'll see when the time will come, that San Peter doesn't like jokes about Pasta.

lol I tell you one stupid thing.. when I started my "political" career last year I made it clear to everybody that I would not get mixed with any politician, either local or national, and that I didn't need to get favors or to compromise with anyone.. but truth be told, if I had the opportunity, I would be meeting Berlusoni, that's granted.. I suppose this is so because we don't see him as a "politician" (in the derogatory sense, someone who's been living of politics exploiting the others during all their life), but rather someone who was so smart to bend politics (and expert politicians) to his will, starting from being a poor and silly man.. that's a sort of "Italian Dream", if you people ask me...

double lol, sometimes life is so ironic

I just got an invitation for a lunch were I would be introduced to this man, which I gently declined

I mean, you can't just compare a King with a Squire, can you?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: