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Thread: Your Guide to Visiting America

  1. #21

    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    Quote Originally Posted by Diamat View Post
    So you wouldn't mind if we posted "No Americans Allowed" signs in front of our saunas?
    I doubt you'd see an appreciable decline in patrons. After all, your women don't shave and you all consume a lot of garlic. Your saunas are viewed more like greenhouses for anti-biotic resistant bacterial infections than anything else.

  2. #22
    Morticia Iunia Bruti's Avatar Primicerius
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    Quote Originally Posted by Diamat View Post
    So you wouldn't mind if we posted "No Americans Allowed" signs in front of our saunas?
    If we would build the entrances to our saunas smaller the american problem would also be finally solved...
    Proud Non-Citizen and Goth

    Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. (Morticia Addams)


  3. #23

    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    Quote Originally Posted by Morticia Iunia Bruti View Post
    If we would build the entrances to our saunas smaller the american problem would also be finally solved...
    Just keep a supply of vaseline on hand to lube them up when they get stuck so they can be pushed back out again, trust me nobody wants an American stuck in their doorway

  4. #24

    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    Quote Originally Posted by Pontifex Maximus View Post
    It has come to my attention that many European tourists have found some of our customs to be very hard to navigate, so I thought I'd give a short helpful list about etiquette and local customs, and things of that nature.
    Haha, one of the funniest and well-crafted things in a long while

    Quote Originally Posted by Diamat View Post
    It happened while we were changing into our pajamas for nap time. It's weird that I so distinctly remember this, also the time I almost choked to death on a bay leaf.
    WTF??!? (is a bay leaf)

  5. #25
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    Bay leaves are a common spice in the West, especially when we pickle things. As a Finlšnder (i.e., Asian), you understandably don't know of these things.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bay_leaf

  6. #26

    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    But you err! It is that thing, laurel. I have read about them in cookbooks smuggled in from western countries. I just did not connect it with the name.

  7. #27
    King Athelstan's Avatar The Wheel Weaves
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    What happens if I order a single-patty but include bacon and cheese?
    Proudly under the patronage of General Brewster of the Imperial House of Hader
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  8. #28
    Morticia Iunia Bruti's Avatar Primicerius
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    Bayleaf is essential for goulash. I Love Kidney goulash.^^
    Proud Non-Citizen and Goth

    Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. (Morticia Addams)


  9. #29

    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    Quote Originally Posted by King Athelstan View Post
    What happens if I order a single-patty but include bacon and cheese?
    Hard to say, it would be safe to also order a hotdog.

  10. #30
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    I think a "no fatties allowed" sign would cover all the bases.

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  11. #31
    Aexodus's Avatar Persuasion>Coercion
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    That's racist against Americans
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    Quote Originally Posted by Himster View Post
    The trick is to never be honest. That's what this social phenomenon is engineering: publicly conform, or else.

  12. #32
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    I'm only American when it benefits me anyway

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  13. #33
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    Quote Originally Posted by Pontifex Maximus View Post
    Hard to say, it would be safe to also order a hotdog.
    You mean one of these?

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
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  14. #34
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    I am impressed and disgusted.

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  15. #35

    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    I'm only American when it benefits me anyway
    I feel the same way about being white

    Quote Originally Posted by King Athelstan View Post
    You mean one of these?

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    I sentence you to death

  16. #36
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    So it has been decreed.

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  17. #37
    Aexodus's Avatar Persuasion>Coercion
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    What is your preferred method of execution?
    Patronised by Pontifex Maximus

    Quote Originally Posted by Himster View Post
    The trick is to never be honest. That's what this social phenomenon is engineering: publicly conform, or else.

  18. #38
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    Lynching. Let's make this as ironic as possible.

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  19. #39
    Settra's Avatar the Imperishable
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    8. Sales tax is not included in the price on the shelf, expect to pay approximately 5% more in sales tax then the posted price.
    This is so ing stupid. I am surprised stores don't get sued every other day for misleading customers.
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  20. #40
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Your Guide to Visiting America

    It's not misleading because no one expects that to be the actual price. Not to mention they aren't implying that tax is included at all.

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