It has come to my attention that many European tourists have found some of our customs to be very hard to navigate, so I thought I'd give a short helpful list about etiquette and local customs, and things of that nature.
1. When landing in the US, if your flight has been smooth, please applaud for the captain of the aircraft and the crew. This is standard and expected of all white tourists. If you are not white you may choose to ignore this custom.
2. Tipping. Yes, say what you will about our restaurant industry, but tipping is standard. For exceptional service, you should tip 20%. For average service, 15%. If you got bad service and you want to make a point about it by being petty (which I do on occasion when service is extremely poor) then you tip 10%.
3. "I am going to visit New York, then go to Disney World then check out San Francisco." No, no you're not. Unless you want to be on a plan for half your vacation. Pick a local spot and explore the spots around it. NYC, Orlando, National Parks, California, you need to remember to keep your trip regional or you'll waste a lot of it traveling in our country.
4. US Customs and Border agents will issue you a standard firearm when you arrive at the airport, one gun per family. Please note that these weapons are on loan to you, and as a courtesy we expect you to have cleaned them before you turn them back in at the bins upon your departure. You will also be expected to tip your agent for exceptional service.
5. It is best to avoid talking about politics. Nobody likes a know it all and foreigners often come across as condescending when they discuss politics with us.
6. Most people are friendly and will be helpful if you have questions about directions, fees for attractions, or things of that nature. It isn't regarded as rude or bothersome to help someone who asks. Just make sure you tip the person if they have provided excellent service.
7. When entering an American's home for the first time as a guest, it is customary for everyone to face the flag near the front door and recite the pledge of allegiance. If you don't know the words, just stand at attention or salute the flag.
8. Sales tax is not included in the price on the shelf, expect to pay approximately 5% more in sales tax then the posted price.
9. You are not required to tip fast food workers or most takeaway services. Some places may have a tip jar out on the counter, and it is usually polite to at least put all your change in it, if not a few fresh bills if the employees were nice and prompt with your order.
10. If you end up needing medical care while you are in the US, you will not be turned away if you don't have insurance or can't pay. This is a common misconception. The ER must always treat anyone who shows up. Make sure you tip your doctor for good service though.
11. For the most part, the tap water will not make you sick. The exceptions to this is tap water from Flint, Michigan and all of Florida, where the aquifers are basically all swamp water.
12. It is customary to salute all police officers or service members you see in uniform. If you fail to do so, you will be suspected of doing a crime.
13. Men who order only single patties on their burgers are considered weak, and possibly impotent. In order to be respected, men must typically order at least a double burger, but should also ask for bacon and cheese to be safe.
14. Please do not use the handicap parking spaces or mobility carts, even if you have a genuine injury. These spaces and carts are made available for only those so fat that walking the aisles to buy more donuts and oreos is simply too taxing for them. Please be considerate of our obese.
Any questions?