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Thread: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

  1. #1
    Cookiegod's Avatar CIVUS DIVUS EX CLIBANO
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    Default We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Greetings, fellow human beings, beingesses and birds!
    As you all know, I am currently trying my hardest to become the worlds first cookiecitizen. Unfortunately, the curia appears not ready for a brownfaced citizen in its rank, a stark reminder of the racism still rampant in this world. Worse still, one group in particular has set out to sabotage my application. One group, conspiring both in secret and the not so secret, holding all the ranks of power (except of hex). You know what I'm talking about: The Swedes. Now it is well known that Athelscam was born in an IKEA, and Akar has never released his birth certificate proving he was not born in Sweden, so he likely was. //Fact.

    They have infiltrated the system and the TD resistance. Only the harshest measures will do. I call upon you, fellow humans (and birds), to rise up from your couches against the Swedish conspiracy. Rise and fight!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    From Socrates over Jesus to me it has always been the lot of any true visionary to be rejected by the reactionary bourgeoisie
    Qualis noncives pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #CLM

  2. #2
    King Athelstan's Avatar The Wheel Weaves
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Sorry, but we have Hex too.
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  3. #3
    Cookiegod's Avatar CIVUS DIVUS EX CLIBANO
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    Default I'm leaving

    You are right. The conspiracy appears far grander than I thought. We are all doomed.

    With the new facts come to light, I see I have no choice other than go into exile on reddit, to flee the persecution here.

    Goodbye. Qualis noncivitus pereo

  4. #4
    King Athelstan's Avatar The Wheel Weaves
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    I'll miss you
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  5. #5
    AqD's Avatar 。◕‿◕。
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Isn't King Athelstan one of the Swedes who conspired against cookie?

  6. #6
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Cookie Emeritus.

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  7. #7
    Sir Adrian's Avatar the Imperishable
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Athelstan is swedish? But Athelstan lists his capital as Trondheim. What is going on? What is happening to the world?
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  8. #8
    King Athelstan's Avatar The Wheel Weaves
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Cookie is spreading false propaganda attempting to undermine my authority by daring to call me Swede, when I am an Anglo-Norwegian. It is heresy, and for such he must be punished.
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  9. #9
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    I think all Scandinavians are a problem. We'll exclude Danes for now. The machinations of perkele know no bounds. Remember that Lemoncat is a Norwegian.

  10. #10
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Danes aren't even really Scandinavians. They're honorary Germans.

    Meloncat is Danish.

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  11. #11
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Meloncat sent his son, a Dane. Meloncat himself transcends the earthly. And the Avians represent the love between Meloncat and his son.

  12. #12
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    That seems highly unlikely but I'll take your word for it.

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  13. #13
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Feles vult!

  14. #14
    King Athelstan's Avatar The Wheel Weaves
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Whatever you say, old man
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  15. #15
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Call me Ishmael
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Look, Cookiegod, if you just sit back and relax the problem will resolve itself now that Sweden has opened up its society to the whims of the Coronavirus. The clock is ticking there and soon enough we'll see some openings on the Hexagonal Council once a proportionate amount of Swedes go quietly into that good night for a dirt nap.

  16. #16
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    What if the coronavirus was a Swedish plot all along?

  17. #17
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Seems likely.

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  18. #18

    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    I am not going to conspire against our Swedish overlords. They have treated us kindly throughout the centuries, showering us with gifts such as ärtsoppa on Thursdays and Janssons frestelse on other days. I will support them from a safe distance. Heja Sverige! Men vänligen stanna hemma!

  19. #19
    King Athelstan's Avatar The Wheel Weaves
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Septentrionalis View Post
    I am not going to conspire against our Swedish overlords. They have treated us kindly throughout the centuries, showering us with gifts such as ärtsoppa on Thursdays and Janssons frestelse on other days. I will support them from a safe distance. Heja Sverige! Men vänligen stanna hemma!
    I remember eating at Ikea quite a few years back now, and i took a giant lump of what I assumed was Potato gratin. Little did I know, and boy did my face turn sour when I bit into it. Never tried it since then, and still resent it Janssons frestelse. Fristelse, more like devilry to me
    Proudly under the patronage of General Brewster of the Imperial House of Hader
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  20. #20
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: We need to deal with the Swedish problem

    None of those words make any sense to me.

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