Big Toilet Paper and Coronavirus

**Commissar Caligula_** · March 06, 2020, 06:07 AM

I think we need to start asking what the connection is between Big Toilet Paper and coronavirus?

**Akar** · March 06, 2020, 06:13 AM

They stand to profit the most out of this whole charade.

**Cookiegod** · March 06, 2020, 09:55 AM

Now listen up my dudes. I didn't become the majority stakeholder of big toiletto for you to damage our profits through slander and conspiracy theories.
So listen carefully: Yes it might be that our sales go up as the rest of the world goes down the drain. No we wouldn't clog the entire economy if we got our way. Let that sink in.

**Akar** · March 06, 2020, 10:01 AM

I have also purchased a controlling stake in a rival toiletries company.

**Cookiegod** · March 06, 2020, 10:35 AM

I have invested in renewable energies and Joe Biden just to spite you

**Akar** · March 06, 2020, 10:38 AM

I propose compressing all poor people down into coal.

**Cookiegod** · March 06, 2020, 12:20 PM

Don't you dare touch my slaves

**Akar** · March 06, 2020, 12:49 PM

I bought them fair and square. These human beings rightfully belong to me and no other man!

**Roma_Victrix** · March 06, 2020, 05:58 PM

When will the plumbers of the world unite against Big Toilet? On second thought, they probably need the extra work for when the toilet paper clogs the drains again.

**Akar** · March 06, 2020, 06:03 PM

It's not toilet paper it's all the hair and dolls heads I stuff down your drain.

**Roma_Victrix** · March 06, 2020, 07:00 PM

Ah, so you're the serial killer who wiped out half my family to make creepy wigs and such. Guess I should be calling the police then.

**Akar** · March 07, 2020, 07:33 AM

Is your family dolls?!

**Diamat** · March 07, 2020, 07:24 PM

Toilet paper? Haha! What a great time to be an Avian.

**Akar** · March 07, 2020, 07:36 PM

Our cars are your toilet paper.

**Diamat** · March 07, 2020, 07:52 PM

No, your cars are our latrines.

**Akar** · March 07, 2020, 08:51 PM

I will be investing in a flak cannon

**Cookiegod** · March 08, 2020, 12:45 AM

It will shoot paper balls that we're soaked in toilet water

**Derc** · March 08, 2020, 06:50 AM

Most dictators in the history of the world have not used toilet paper. And then there's Cookie.

**Akar** · March 08, 2020, 08:08 AM

Who is not a dictator

**Diamat** · March 08, 2020, 10:00 AM

I don't understand the human need for toilet paper. It makes the mess worse than it is. Everything starts caking and dry poop particles will remain. Just wash yourselves, filthy humans.