An open letter to all members of the curia

**Cookiegod** · February 12, 2020, 05:18 AM

Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix

Cookiegod is neither a cookie, nor a god, nor holy

Apostate

**Roma_Victrix** · February 12, 2020, 07:44 PM

Originally Posted by Cookiegod

Apostate

Call me Julian.

**Akar** · February 12, 2020, 07:48 PM

Don't call me Shirley

**Roma_Victrix** · February 12, 2020, 08:01 PM

Sounds to me like you've got a drinking problem.

**Akar** · February 12, 2020, 08:13 PM

Look, I'm not the first guy to fall in love with a girl he met in a restaurant who then turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to a childhood lover whom she'd last scene on a deserted island and who eventually turned up 15 years later as the leader of the French Underground.

**King Athelstan** · February 13, 2020, 01:40 AM

I hate how relateable that is

**Akar** · February 13, 2020, 01:43 AM

It's quite a tragic life story

**Roma_Victrix** · February 13, 2020, 02:03 AM

Don't feel bad, it could happen to anyone, really! A very common situation that lovers find themselves in, like when I dated a paraplegic Lithuanian female folk singer who turned out to be a secret agent for the Russian Federation and an ethnic Russian who was just using me for access to a worker's visa and permanent residency so she could infiltrate homeland security and commit espionage by stealing and trading state secrets while hooking back up with her long lost Cuban lover Martín before absconding, clearing out my bank account, and fleeing under disguise to Papua New Guinea with their stolen assets.

**Akar** · February 13, 2020, 02:23 AM

Wait, Martin or Martín? Because I'm dating a Martin right now and you better stay away from my beautiful cubano lover

**Flinn** · February 14, 2020, 05:52 AM

Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix

Sounds to me like you've got a drinking problem.

no, that's me

**Roma_Victrix** · February 14, 2020, 07:21 AM

Originally Posted by Akar

Wait, Martin or Martín? Because I'm dating a Martin right now and you better stay away from my beautiful cubano lover

Go ahead and keep your Cuban lover, but if he has anything to do with the woman who just left me then I'll have to intervene and lay the smack down.

There's only one Cuban worth talking about and her name is Ana de Armas:

Originally Posted by Flinn

no, that's me

It's okay buddy. It's something that plagues a lot of people, being unable to pour the drink into your mouth and splashing it all over your face instead. A very serious problem.