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Thread: I will read your fortune.

  1. #1
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default I will read your fortune.

    Gather around the crystal ball, friends, and I shall read your fortunes. You need only share your birth date (if you so wish) and the sign under which you were born and I will teach you things about yourself you never knew before.
    Last edited by Abdülmecid I; January 23, 2020 at 04:27 PM. Reason: Updated for privacy concerns.

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  2. #2
    paleologos's Avatar You need burrito love!!
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    I think that's "unsolicited advertising" and I request and require that this thread is locked.

  3. #3
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    Crystal ball says you're going to die very suddenly of head trauma caused by a crystal ball being lobbed at your head.

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  4. #4
    paleologos's Avatar You need burrito love!!
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    If you see me in the flesh you will lose your sleep and dreams,
    'cause I'll rip and eat you liver with Chianti and fava beans.

  5. #5
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    You better not be tryna start a rap battle with me, homeboy, I'll bury you 6 feet under like Jimmy Hoffa

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  6. #6
    paleologos's Avatar You need burrito love!!
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    Talk the talk you do just fine,
    yet you haven't made a post that would just as well rhyme.

  7. #7
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    I don't hesitate to set the record straight,
    Send the messenger through the gate
    Behind your lines like a Trojan,
    You await the implosion

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  8. #8
    paleologos's Avatar You need burrito love!!
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    You think it makes any sense
    to view your life through this lens?
    Accept your place as my vassal
    You are no match for me in a hassle.

  9. #9
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    As I lift my disguise and you gaze into my eyes you'll be hypnotized,
    I'll tell you a thousand lies until I hear your cries,
    begging to be euthanized

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  10. #10
    paleologos's Avatar You need burrito love!!
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    There's nothing about you,
    you can disguise from my view.
    So transparent are your lies,
    boring me is your nastier vice.

  11. #11
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    Put you on a table and spread you like an eagle,
    You'll be screamin' like Evel Knievel if you be in' with my people.
    You think you're a boss ass but make a wrong move and you'll be lying in a ditch,
    Pulled this off without a hitch, leave you in the dust not knowing whats the 'sitch

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  12. #12
    paleologos's Avatar You need burrito love!!
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    Wub emogis prove you cannot
    toe to toe with me to trot,

    And you didn't shy from trying
    your weakness keep denying

    So persistence and attempt
    I shall honor with this one rep!

  13. #13
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    I win

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  14. #14
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    I was born on July 28, 1987. Give it your best try.

  15. #15
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    It's not looking good for you, Diamat. I think it's best if I give you the results in private.

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  16. #16
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    No, I can take it.

  17. #17
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    Well given Mercury is retrograde with Venus and their positions relative to Earth and Jupiter I think I can say with 100% certainty that either something very bad, or something very good, will happen to you soon.

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  18. #18
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    I'm playing in a Magic the Gathering tournament tonight. Will I win?

  19. #19
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    You'll win the tournament but by doing so you will become a loser.

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  20. #20
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: I will read your fortune.

    I lost every single game. Thanks, Akar.

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