I will read your fortune.

**Akar** · January 22, 2020, 02:05 PM

Gather around the crystal ball, friends, and I shall read your fortunes. You need only share your birth date (if you so wish) and the sign under which you were born and I will teach you things about yourself you never knew before.

**paleologos** · January 22, 2020, 02:09 PM

I think that's "unsolicited advertising" and I request and require that this thread is locked.

**Akar** · January 22, 2020, 02:16 PM

Crystal ball says you're going to die very suddenly of head trauma caused by a crystal ball being lobbed at your head.

**AqD** · January 25, 2020, 04:53 AM

Originally Posted by Akar

Crystal ball says you're going to die very suddenly of head trauma caused by a crystal ball being lobbed at your head.

So you don't need our birth dates at all! Now tell me my fortune

**paleologos** · January 22, 2020, 02:22 PM

If you see me in the flesh you will lose your sleep and dreams,
'cause I'll rip and eat you liver with Chianti and fava beans.

**Akar** · January 22, 2020, 02:29 PM

You better not be tryna start a rap battle with me, homeboy, I'll bury you 6 feet under like Jimmy Hoffa

**paleologos** · January 22, 2020, 02:35 PM

Talk the talk you do just fine,
yet you haven't made a post that would just as well rhyme.

**Akar** · January 22, 2020, 02:50 PM

I don't hesitate to set the record straight,
Send the messenger through the gate
Behind your lines like a Trojan,
You await the implosion

**paleologos** · January 22, 2020, 03:03 PM

You think it makes any sense
to view your life through this lens?
Accept your place as my vassal
You are no match for me in a hassle.

**Akar** · January 22, 2020, 03:19 PM

As I lift my disguise and you gaze into my eyes you'll be hypnotized,
I'll tell you a thousand lies until I hear your cries,
begging to be euthanized

**paleologos** · January 22, 2020, 03:40 PM

There's nothing about you,
you can disguise from my view.
So transparent are your lies,
boring me is your nastier vice.

**Akar** · January 22, 2020, 03:48 PM

Put you on a table and spread you like an eagle,
You'll be screamin' like Evel Knievel if you be

in' with my people.
You think you're a boss ass

but make a wrong move and you'll be lying in a ditch,

Pulled this off without a hitch, leave you in the dust not knowing whats the 'sitch

**paleologos** · January 22, 2020, 04:02 PM

Wub emogis prove you cannot
toe to toe with me to trot,

And you didn't shy from trying
your weakness keep denying

So persistence and attempt
I shall honor with this one rep!

**Akar** · January 22, 2020, 04:24 PM

I win

**Diamat** · January 22, 2020, 05:48 PM

I was born on July 28, 1987. Give it your best try.

**Akar** · January 22, 2020, 11:57 PM

It's not looking good for you, Diamat. I think it's best if I give you the results in private.

**Diamat** · January 23, 2020, 08:17 AM

No, I can take it.

**Akar** · January 23, 2020, 08:50 AM

Well given Mercury is retrograde with Venus and their positions relative to Earth and Jupiter I think I can say with 100% certainty that either something very bad, or something very good, will happen to you soon.