Coming out and asking for personal help

[Cookiegod]

There's no easy way to say it, so let's get this over with: I have had some dietary changes and have become a soy boy. I'm not a vegetarian (and don't want to become one), but my meat consumption is at an all-time low and my intake of spinach, soy, etc. at an all-time high. I know, I know. It's not that I did that decision on purpose. I just no longer have the same cravings when looking at meat like I used to. With soy on the other hand... Oh boy. Maybe I was like that all along and never noticed it before.

Moving on to my plea for advice from you, oh dear helpful members of the TD:
I'm sure this is completely unrelated to my recent dietary change, even though it started pretty much right after it, but there's a question I've been asking myself a lot lately:
How do I get that constant farting under control? Even on the dance floors when you can't hear it because it's so loud, you'll still smell it. I mean I do the right thing and blame it on others, but then I'll quickly have to move on to other chicks because by the inevitable second time they'll have noticed that it has to be me.

Please do appreciate that I'm only able to share this because I feel so safe around here knowing that no one here will abuse this knowledge to mock me. In real life I don't know how to tell that to others. It's easy enough with coffee because I always like'm black and strong but how do you tell someone that the white fluid in your milkshake isn't milk? Oh well. Thank you for making me feel so safe and I look forward to your good well-thought-through advice.

[Akar]

you're gonna grow man tits

[Cookiegod]

I'm already doing that because of the beers. They ain't callin me Jolly Parton for nuttin. Might as well go all the way

[King Athelstan]

Just try to schedule your bowel-movements, I've had the same issue after a good can of beans - try to time it right so that you only let it rip when someone you dislike and can blame it on is in your proximity.

[Diamat]

Eat meat. Spinach can kill you, no joke.

Also, you'll grow man tits.

[Akar]

seriously, do not EVER eat spinach

seriously.

[Cookiegod]

I am a breast change denier

[Roma_Victrix]

I'll have to take this under advisement because I love eating spinach and making Greek cuisine like Spanakopita that requires lots of spinach. I'm in the same boat as cookiegod! What can I do to mitigate the spinach intake? What serves as a good spinach substitute? Tofu is supposed to be a substitute for meat and naturally it contains soy milk, but what's the substitute for tofu? Please don't say beans.

[King Athelstan]

Beans, I think is a good substitute. I don't have much time so I only read the first half of your post Roma_Victrix but that shouldn't be a problem

[Roma_Victrix]

Sorry, Athelstan, I only read the first three words of your post and now I'm under the impression that beans are all that you think about, 24/7.

[paleologos]

There's no easy way to say it, so let's get this over with: I have had some dietary changes and have become a soy boy. I'm not a vegetarian (and don't want to become one), but my meat consumption is at an all-time low and my intake of spinach, soy, etc. at an all-time high. I know, I know. It's not that I did that decision on purpose. I just no longer have the same cravings when looking at meat like I used to. With soy on the other hand... Oh boy. Maybe I was like that all along and never noticed it before.

You do you, lad!

...
How do I get that constant farting under control?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Even on the dance floors when you can't hear it because it's so loud, you'll still smell it. I mean I do the right thing and blame it on others, but then I'll quickly have to move on to other chicks because by the inevitable second time they'll have noticed that it has to be me.

Don't worry about it.
People are too embarrassed to say anything because, you know, "he who smelt it first, dealt it".

Please do appreciate that I'm only able to share this because I feel so safe around here knowing that no one here will abuse this knowledge to mock me.

We only do that by PMing each other but after this we may start a private discussion group.

In real life I don't know how to tell that to others.

Try going without the cork.

...how do you tell someone that the white fluid in your milkshake isn't milk?

If they don't ask, don't say anything.

Oh well. Thank you for making me feel so safe and I look forward to your good well-thought-through advice.

Serves you right.

I'll have to take this under advisement because I love eating spinach and making Greek cuisine like Spanakopita that requires lots of spinach.

I'm in the same boat as cookiegod! What can I do to mitigate the spinach intake? What serves as a good spinach substitute?

Don't be silly, spinach is fine!
You can have it with mutton!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

And you can have it with cuttlefish.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

And it does wonders for your bowel movement.
You will need to be prepared, though:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Tofu is supposed to be a substitute for meat and naturally it contains soy milk, but what's the substitute for tofu? Please don't say beans.

Beans are fine and so are lentils and chickpeas and tofu and meat and fish.
You don't need to go monomaniacal.

[Roma_Victrix]

I'll have to try out the mutton and cuttlefish combos, then. Lentils and chickpeas are good ideas. Come to think of it, I enjoy edamame and those are basically soybean pods.

[Akar]

If you have to use that toilet you probably should just get a colonoscopy.

[paleologos]

If you have to use that toilet you probably should just get a colonoscopy.

He can use his own toilet.
My "be prepared" admonition was about an ample supply of toilet brushes.
.

[King Athelstan]

Beans, Beans Beans. Beans beans beans. Anyone care for beans?

[Cookiegod]

Soybeans yes.

[Flinn]

this is my bean



every time I remind myself that he has been our prime minister.. mhe

[Akar]

I only 8 pics of mr bean not sure what you mean flinn

[paleologos]

The Hex is off topic!
I am so...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Akar]

Flinn is the affirmative action hex