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Thread: Coming out and asking for personal help

  1. #1
    Cookiegod's Avatar Domesticus
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    Icon5 Coming out and asking for personal help

    There's no easy way to say it, so let's get this over with: I have had some dietary changes and have become a soy boy. I'm not a vegetarian (and don't want to become one), but my meat consumption is at an all-time low and my intake of spinach, soy, etc. at an all-time high. I know, I know. It's not that I did that decision on purpose. I just no longer have the same cravings when looking at meat like I used to. With soy on the other hand... Oh boy. Maybe I was like that all along and never noticed it before.

    Moving on to my plea for advice from you, oh dear helpful members of the TD:
    I'm sure this is completely unrelated to my recent dietary change, even though it started pretty much right after it, but there's a question I've been asking myself a lot lately:
    How do I get that constant farting under control? Even on the dance floors when you can't hear it because it's so loud, you'll still smell it. I mean I do the right thing and blame it on others, but then I'll quickly have to move on to other chicks because by the inevitable second time they'll have noticed that it has to be me.

    Please do appreciate that I'm only able to share this because I feel so safe around here knowing that no one here will abuse this knowledge to mock me. In real life I don't know how to tell that to others. It's easy enough with coffee because I always like'm black and strong but how do you tell someone that the white fluid in your milkshake isn't milk? Oh well. Thank you for making me feel so safe and I look forward to your good well-thought-through advice.
    "Don't ask what the server can do for you. Ask what you can do for the server." - Ged

  2. #2
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    you're gonna grow man tits

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  3. #3
    Cookiegod's Avatar Domesticus
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    I'm already doing that because of the beers. They ain't callin me Jolly Parton for nuttin. Might as well go all the way
    "Don't ask what the server can do for you. Ask what you can do for the server." - Ged

  4. #4
    King Athelstan's Avatar The Wheel of Time turns
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    Just try to schedule your bowel-movements, I've had the same issue after a good can of beans - try to time it right so that you only let it rip when someone you dislike and can blame it on is in your proximity.
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  5. #5
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    Eat meat. Spinach can kill you, no joke.

    Also, you'll grow man tits.

  6. #6
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    seriously, do not EVER eat spinach

    seriously.

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  7. #7
    Cookiegod's Avatar Domesticus
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    I am a breast change denier

  8. #8
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    I'll have to take this under advisement because I love eating spinach and making Greek cuisine like Spanakopita that requires lots of spinach. I'm in the same boat as cookiegod! What can I do to mitigate the spinach intake? What serves as a good spinach substitute? Tofu is supposed to be a substitute for meat and naturally it contains soy milk, but what's the substitute for tofu? Please don't say beans.

  9. #9
    King Athelstan's Avatar The Wheel of Time turns
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    Beans, I think is a good substitute. I don't have much time so I only read the first half of your post Roma_Victrix but that shouldn't be a problem
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  10. #10
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    Sorry, Athelstan, I only read the first three words of your post and now I'm under the impression that beans are all that you think about, 24/7.

  11. #11
    paleologos's Avatar You need burrito love!!
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    There's no easy way to say it, so let's get this over with: I have had some dietary changes and have become a soy boy. I'm not a vegetarian (and don't want to become one), but my meat consumption is at an all-time low and my intake of spinach, soy, etc. at an all-time high. I know, I know. It's not that I did that decision on purpose. I just no longer have the same cravings when looking at meat like I used to. With soy on the other hand... Oh boy. Maybe I was like that all along and never noticed it before.
    You do you, lad!


    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    ...
    How do I get that constant farting under control?
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 





    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    Even on the dance floors when you can't hear it because it's so loud, you'll still smell it. I mean I do the right thing and blame it on others, but then I'll quickly have to move on to other chicks because by the inevitable second time they'll have noticed that it has to be me.
    Don't worry about it.
    People are too embarrassed to say anything because, you know, "he who smelt it first, dealt it".


    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    Please do appreciate that I'm only able to share this because I feel so safe around here knowing that no one here will abuse this knowledge to mock me.
    We only do that by PMing each other but after this we may start a private discussion group.


    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    In real life I don't know how to tell that to others.
    Try going without the cork.


    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    ...how do you tell someone that the white fluid in your milkshake isn't milk?
    If they don't ask, don't say anything.


    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    Oh well. Thank you for making me feel so safe and I look forward to your good well-thought-through advice.
    Serves you right.




    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    I'll have to take this under advisement because I love eating spinach and making Greek cuisine like Spanakopita that requires lots of spinach.



    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    I'm in the same boat as cookiegod! What can I do to mitigate the spinach intake? What serves as a good spinach substitute?
    Don't be silly, spinach is fine!
    You can have it with mutton!
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    And you can have it with cuttlefish.
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    And it does wonders for your bowel movement.
    You will need to be prepared, though:
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 





    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    Tofu is supposed to be a substitute for meat and naturally it contains soy milk, but what's the substitute for tofu? Please don't say beans.
    Beans are fine and so are lentils and chickpeas and tofu and meat and fish.
    You don't need to go monomaniacal.

  12. #12
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    I'll have to try out the mutton and cuttlefish combos, then. Lentils and chickpeas are good ideas. Come to think of it, I enjoy edamame and those are basically soybean pods.

  13. #13
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    If you have to use that toilet you probably should just get a colonoscopy.

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  14. #14
    paleologos's Avatar You need burrito love!!
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    If you have to use that toilet you probably should just get a colonoscopy.
    He can use his own toilet.
    My "be prepared" admonition was about an ample supply of toilet brushes.
    .

  15. #15
    King Athelstan's Avatar The Wheel of Time turns
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    Beans, Beans Beans. Beans beans beans. Anyone care for beans?
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  16. #16
    Cookiegod's Avatar Domesticus
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help


    Soybeans yes.
    "Don't ask what the server can do for you. Ask what you can do for the server." - Ged

  17. #17
    Flinn's Avatar The Alpha Jester!
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    this is my bean



    every time I remind myself that he has been our prime minister.. mhe
    Under the patronage of Finlander, patron of Lugotorix & Lifthrasir & joerock22& Socrates1984; of the Imperial House of Hader

  18. #18
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    I only 8 pics of mr bean not sure what you mean flinn

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  19. #19
    paleologos's Avatar You need burrito love!!
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    The Hex is off topic!
    I am so...
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



  20. #20
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Coming out and asking for personal help

    Flinn is the affirmative action hex

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