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Thread: Toxic Masculinity

  1. #1
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Icon13 Toxic Masculinity

    It's time, you guys, it's time to talk about the toxic masculinity of the ancient Celts.

    You know who you are and you know what you've done.

    The warrior society of the Celts was inexcusable and they along with Christopher Columbus are officially CANCELLED on Twitter! I mean, just look at these pathetically macho machismo warriors in ancient Greek and Roman artworks and written histories. They have all the signs of toxic hyper-masculinity with overt aggression, pillaging, being bad boys, breaking the law (of the places they invaded), and some of them didn't even wear clothes into battle. They just strolled around naked! Showing off their junk. Gross! Here's one of them, a Roman era remake of a Hellenistic original known as the Dying Galatian from ancient Pergamon in Anatolia. Serves him right, he's toxtic! He's CANCELLED! Cancelled with a puncture wound to the chest by a sword, that is, killed by an ancient Greek who was undoubtedly an ally for women and LGBT folk on Twitter.



    Join with me in cancelling the toxic masculinity of Celts, especially including those who defied Caesar and started a huge rowdy riot that he had to disperse at Alesia. The old adage "Boys will be boys" doesn't cut it this time, Vercingetorix! His execution in Rome was well deserved but we need to exhume him once more to cancel him on Twitter. DRAG HIM! DRAG VERCINGETORIX!


  2. #2
    Morrowgan's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    bruh
    Member of the Beyond Skyrim Project

  3. #3

    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Folks, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. He stopped taking his medications... again... and he escaped from the facility... again.

  4. #4
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by Rad View Post
    Folks, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. He stopped taking his medications... again... and he escaped from the facility... again.
    Oh yeah? Well that's exactly the sort of thing someone possessing toxic masculinity would say!

  5. #5
    Grimmy's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Maybe the masculines just need help, like an organized effort to rally The Concerned to suck the toxins out of them?

    Like what's done with a snake bite, but only different.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    when you realize there's no female soldiers in EB 2

  7. #7
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmy View Post
    Maybe the masculines just need help, like an organized effort to rally The Concerned to suck the toxins out of them?

    Like what's done with a snake bite, but only different.
    I see what you did there and although it's toxic and way to masculine, I'll sit back and allow it to proceed.

    Quote Originally Posted by nvm View Post
    when you realize there's no female soldiers in EB 2
    Huh. I guess there aren't any come to think of it, although some of the Pontic Steppe tribes had mounted women warriors that could justify their inclusion within certain units. There are also women who led armies in antiquity as commanders on the field of battle. The Nubian Queen Amanirenas of Kush who invaded Roman Egypt after Cleopatra's death comes to mind.

  8. #8
    Lusitanio's Avatar Content Staff
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Dude, what the f....? You said you would start 2020 without drugs!!!

  9. #9

    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Please keep this sort of content to Thema Devia.
    ORANGE MAN BAD

  10. #10

    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    I know that he is a handful at times, but I confess that I love our crazy old general and veteran of many EBII wars. I mean I am a heterosexual male and all, but I am not going to go all Celtic and macho and pretend that I have no feelings for him. That would be insecure, pretty damn toxic and SO not 28th century (ab urbe condita).

    Quote Originally Posted by Slaytaninc View Post
    Please keep this sort of content to Thema Devia.
    There has been a Thema Devia all this time without my knowledge?! And yes, I do agree.

  11. #11

    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Who's in for a sissy mod??

  12. #12
    Grimmy's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Well, the concept of pillows did exist at that time.

    I see no reason why everyone wouldn't have weaponized them and armed their troops accordingly.

    For sure, pillow fights can't be a purely modern invention, right?

  13. #13
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by Septentrionalis View Post
    I know that he is a handful at times, but I confess that I love our crazy old general and veteran of many EBII wars. I mean I am a heterosexual male and all, but I am not going to go all Celtic and macho and pretend that I have no feelings for him. That would be insecure, pretty damn toxic and SO not 28th century (ab urbe condita).

    There has been a Thema Devia all this time without my knowledge?! And yes, I do agree.
    Thanks for the kind words!

    Quote Originally Posted by Slaytaninc View Post
    Please keep this sort of content to Thema Devia.
    That's exactly the kind of thing someone with toxic masculinity would say! GUILTY! CANCELLED! DRAG HIM AND RATIO HIM ON TWITTER, EVERYBODY!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lusitanio View Post
    Dude, what the f....? You said you would start 2020 without drugs!!!
    Leave my liquor cabinet out of this!

    Quote Originally Posted by Beckitz View Post
    Who's in for a sissy mod??
    Now you're talking! Finally, someone gets it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmy View Post
    Well, the concept of pillows did exist at that time.

    I see no reason why everyone wouldn't have weaponized them and armed their troops accordingly.

    For sure, pillow fights can't be a purely modern invention, right?
    This seems like the perfect post for my other thread on horrible suggestions.

  14. #14
    Grimmy's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    No way on the horrible suggestions thread unless and until I get my Javelin Anti-Armor Missile units.

    I mean, come on! Everyone knows that the Javelin was a well used weapon system during that period of history.

  15. #15
    Grimmy's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Sounds like you have some soy futures coming due.

  16. #16
    QuintusSertorius's Avatar EBII Hod Carrier
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by nvm View Post
    when you realize there's no female soldiers in EB 2
    Actually, there should be. The Skythian Nobles would have female models as well as male, were it not for the way the engine builds them in battles. We couldn't have implemented it without hugely reducing the variety you see (a throwback to EB1's "clone armies").

  17. #17

    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    The Gauls were actually mega gay.

  18. #18
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by QuintusSertorius View Post
    Actually, there should be. The Skythian Nobles would have female models as well as male, were it not for the way the engine builds them in battles. We couldn't have implemented it without hugely reducing the variety you see (a throwback to EB1's "clone armies").
    That's a shame! I see what you're saying, though, since Third Age: Total War submods have female soldiers within some Elven units, but they are very cookie cutter style and look the same without any real variation.

  19. #19

    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by QuintusSertorius View Post
    Actually, there should be. The Skythian Nobles would have female models as well as male, were it not for the way the engine builds them in battles. We couldn't have implemented it without hugely reducing the variety you see (a throwback to EB1's "clone armies").
    I dunno about you, but I'd consider addition of Conchita Wursts (female body, male head with facial hair) and Justin Biebers (male body+female head) in one unit an easter egg.

  20. #20
    Grimmy's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by Sar1n View Post
    I dunno about you, but I'd consider addition of Conchita Wursts (female body, male head with facial hair) and Justin Biebers (male body+female head) in one unit an easter egg.
    Make them Generals with a random chance of showing up.

    And when they do, have the background music change to a Rick Roll.

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