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Thread: Toxic Masculinity

  1. #1
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Call me Ishmael
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    Default Toxic Masculinity

    It's time, you guys, it's time to talk about the toxic masculinity of the ancient Celts.

    You know who you are and you know what you've done.

    The warrior society of the Celts was inexcusable and they along with Christopher Columbus are officially CANCELLED on Twitter! I mean, just look at these pathetically macho machismo warriors in ancient Greek and Roman artworks and written histories. They have all the signs of toxic hyper-masculinity with overt aggression, pillaging, being bad boys, breaking the law (of the places they invaded), and some of them didn't even wear clothes into battle. They just strolled around naked! Showing off their junk. Gross! Here's one of them, a Roman era remake of a Hellenistic original known as the Dying Galatian from ancient Pergamon in Anatolia. Serves him right, he's toxtic! He's CANCELLED! Cancelled with a puncture wound to the chest by a sword, that is, killed by an ancient Greek who was undoubtedly an ally for women and LGBT folk on Twitter.



    Join with me in cancelling the toxic masculinity of Celts, especially including those who defied Caesar and started a huge rowdy riot that he had to disperse at Alesia. The old adage "Boys will be boys" doesn't cut it this time, Vercingetorix! His execution in Rome was well deserved but we need to exhume him once more to cancel him on Twitter. DRAG HIM! DRAG VERCINGETORIX!


  2. #2
    Ferdiad's Avatar Patricius
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    All we can confirm is that the romans and greeks had micrpeniii. Their statues show v small dicks and thus extrapolating the biggus dickus coefficient; we can assume that as those stause were the ideal man, that the average roman/greek dick was in fact quite ing small.

  3. #3
    AqD's Avatar 。◕‿◕。
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    having a tiny penis doesn't make you a greek or roman

  4. #4
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    but doesn't it though

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  5. #5
    AqD's Avatar 。◕‿◕。
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    I'm pretty sure some Celts had tiny penis too and they were laughed and embarrassed to suicide by Romans legionaries, which would explain their high casualty and quick rout.

  6. #6
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    you must be celtic then

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  7. #7
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Call me Ishmael
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by Ferdiad View Post
    All we can confirm is that the romans and greeks had micrpeniii. Their statues show v small dicks and thus extrapolating the biggus dickus coefficient; we can assume that as those stause were the ideal man, that the average roman/greek dick was in fact quite ing small.
    Yeah, but contrast that to all the Roman statues of fertility gods with gigantic boners about the size of the rest of their body. I think the small flaccid phallus thing was a sign of humility in their artwork, as a hard raging boner was kinda seen as threatening or impolite in artwork.

    In either case his small peen is about the only redeeming quality of this dying Celt, since he's otherwise filled with toxic masculinity and overtly aggressive. I bet he'd be an anti-feminist today on Twitter and we should ratio him and DRAG him, drag him right out of his grave.

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    you must be celtic then
    He's Chinese, actually, but same difference!

  8. #8
    Ferdiad's Avatar Patricius
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    Yeah, but contrast that to all the Roman statues of fertility gods with gigantic boners about the size of the rest of their body. I think the small flaccid phallus thing was a sign of humility in their artwork, as a hard raging boner was kinda seen as threatening or impolite in artwork.

    In either case his small peen is about the only redeeming quality of this dying Celt, since he's otherwise filled with toxic masculinity and overtly aggressive. I bet he'd be an anti-feminist today on Twitter and we should ratio him and DRAG him, drag him right out of his grave.



    He's Chinese, actually, but same difference!
    Wow, both Celt and Chinese slander in one post? Take your slanderous bust of here buddy.

  9. #9
    AqD's Avatar 。◕‿◕。
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post
    He's Chinese, actually, but same difference!
    we never show off ours in public! Now how could you possibly know?

  10. #10
    paleologos's Avatar You need burrito love!!
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Did you guys consider the possibility that the dimensions of the corpora cavernosa increased since antiquity due to evolutionary pressures?
    I am fairly confident that 50% of humankind find this turn of evolutionary events more tonic than toxic.

  11. #11
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    you sound like the kind of guy who studies phrenology

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  12. #12
    paleologos's Avatar You need burrito love!!
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    you sound like the kind of guy who studies phrenology
    I fail to see how that follows.

  13. #13
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Truly a man lost without his craniometer

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  14. #14
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Call me Ishmael
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    Truly a man lost without his craniometer
    The antiquated study of phrenology is absolutely filled with toxic masculinity and "boys being boys," trying to prove that white men are superior to women and racial minorities. Phrenologists, Celts, and scumbags like Silvio Berlusconi can take their toxic masculinity with them when I rocket them towards the sun!

    Quote Originally Posted by AqD View Post
    we never show off ours in public! Now how could you possibly know?
    My only anecdotal observation is seeing a Chinese toddler whipping it out to pee in the middle of the street one time, but that was an isolated incident and he was like 3 years old.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ferdiad View Post
    Wow, both Celt and Chinese slander in one post? Take your slanderous bust of here buddy.
    Ireland is mega Celtic and hence one of the most offensively toxic masculine countries in the world. I mean just look at the macho aggressive IRA!

  15. #15
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    You say "antiquated study" I say "8 years of medical school"

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  16. #16

    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Gold thread is gold

  17. #17
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    post is

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  18. #18
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Call me Ishmael
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    You say "antiquated study" I say "8 years of medical school"
    Medical schools are notoriously biased against women students and the idea of female surgeons and medical professionals. DRAG THEM! CANCEL THEM ON TWITTER!

    Quote Originally Posted by Knight of Heaven View Post
    Gold thread is gold
    At least someone appreciates my genius, unlike this guy:

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    post is

  19. #19
    paleologos's Avatar You need burrito love!!
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    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity


  20. #20

    Default Re: Toxic Masculinity

    We know he's a toxic because of his small penis.
    Optio, Legio I Latina

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