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Thread: We need to return to the Treaty of Tordesillas (also, how it relates to your mom)

  1. #1
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default We need to return to the Treaty of Tordesillas (also, how it relates to your mom)

    The world is in disarray. Right wing governments and fascism are on the rise, as is the threat of lefty socialism, along with the devastating effects of climate change. We lack order and discipline, but we don't need an authoritarian generalissimo Mussolini type to lead us astray once again. We must return to an older model, tried and true. We need the firm hand of monarchy once again, rightly guided by the divine right of kings and queens, caliphs and sultans, Roman emperors and Persian shahanshahs, the Chinese huangdi and the Japanese tenno. It's time to invest Pope Francis in the Vatican with supreme authority over all the realms of Christendom and make him prince of Rome once more, so that he may revive the papal bull that divided the world between Spain and Portugal, as it rightfully should be!

    Now, as to how this relates to your mom, she's so fat that she must be divided properly between these two great powers who must navigate around her. Indeed, your momma is so fat that she requires constant tracking with coordinates measured in longitude and latitude for sailors to avoid crashing and beaching against her at sea. Verily, your mom is so fat that she causes the Earth to tremble and tsunamis to rise, threatening the global trade of the Spanish and Portuguese crowns. Your mom is so fat that we must constantly monitor her movements measured on the Richter scale and encourage her to stay still or at the very least go on a diet and quit eating all the damn whales lest they go extinct. Climate change is bad enough, but your mom is making it worse, because she's so fat, so...incredibly fat.


  2. #2
    isa0005's Avatar Content Staff
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    Default Re: We need to return to the Treaty of Tordesillas (also, how it relates to your mom)

    Last edited by isa0005; January 14, 2020 at 08:55 AM.

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    Cookiegod's Avatar Domesticus
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    Default Re: We need to return to the Treaty of Tordesillas (also, how it relates to your mom)

    Roma's mother so fat, the map in the youtube vid preview only shows part of her, even though she fills the entirety of it.
    .







    Quote Originally Posted by Derc View Post
    No one cares what Derc has to say.

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    Akar's Avatar Vicarius Provinciae
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    Default Re: We need to return to the Treaty of Tordesillas (also, how it relates to your mom)

    hey thats ALL of our moms

    cause thats how fat she is


    idk

  5. #5
    Cookiegod's Avatar Domesticus
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    Default Re: We need to return to the Treaty of Tordesillas (also, how it relates to your mom)

    You're the type of guy willing to sacrifice his own mom only to make fun of three of the others? Bruh...!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Derc View Post
    No one cares what Derc has to say.

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    Akar's Avatar Vicarius Provinciae
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    Default Re: We need to return to the Treaty of Tordesillas (also, how it relates to your mom)

    our moms so fat

  7. #7
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: We need to return to the Treaty of Tordesillas (also, how it relates to your mom)

    Quote Originally Posted by isa0005 View Post
    The Spanish Empire may have been huge, but it's nothing compared to your mother. Your momma's so fat, that she couldn't even fit into Dr. Evil's Big Boy Rocket from Austin Powers:



    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    Roma's mother so fat, the map in the youtube vid preview only shows part of her, even though she fills the entirety of it.
    Cookiegod's mother's so fat that she uses a 16th century Spanish galleon as a lawn chair and it still can't fit her comfortably. Cookiegod's mother's so fat that she sat on the Pillsbury Doughboy and we still haven't been able to retrieve his body from the crease of one of her thigh folds. It's been two months! Sadly, he's presumed dead. It must be devastating, being a Cookiegod and knowing your mother killed one of your idols and inspirations in life.



    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    our moms so fat
    Our moms are so fat that they got mistaken for elephants when they all went on a safari together in Africa, got shot by poachers, and yet the bullets were merely absorbed by the fat, unable even to affect the nervous system for them to even register the pain. The poachers tried to run, but our mothers accidentally trampled them without even knowing it while stampeding to the nearest McDonalds, a rarity in Africa. In fact, our mommas are so fat they bought out the store and were still hungry for more, and that was just lunch!

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