War with Canada incoming?

**Akar** · January 02, 2020, 11:28 PM

I'm sure by now you've all heard the news that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was killed by a U.S missile strike earlier today while heading towards his private plane at Toronto International Airport. U.S President Donald Trump and Prime Minister Trudeau have been at odds lately, with Trudeau calling Trump a "piece of

so dense his molecular structure is formed up of nuclear pasta" and Trump referring to Canada as the "enemy". This is a staggering escalation of events by the U.S and I'm sure we'll soon see some form of Canadian retaliation; likely through asymmetrical warfare and the continued funding of paramilitary and white nationalist groups across the United States.

**Cookiegod** · January 03, 2020, 04:15 AM

I feel this response was harsh but justified. This would not have happened with a Boeing 737 Max. Served Trudeau right with his Airbus 310 presidential planes.

**Abdülmecid I** · January 03, 2020, 06:38 AM

Reds will whine as usual, but the strike was completely justified. Trudeau and his ilk were arming and financing Cascadian terrorism for years. Many innocent ursine contractors had been killled by Cascadian separatists, who took advantage of the Democrats' utopian pacifism. Hundreds of grizzly lives sacrificed to the altar of appeasement. As our Commander in Chief correctly mentioned, Hussein Obama had exploited the negotiations with the Ottawa regime, in order to boost his domestic popularity for the upcoming elections. Now that the marple serpent has been beheaded, American prestige has been reinforced throughout the hemisphere, from the Arctic circle and Siberia to Iceland and Yucatàn. Meanwhile, the long oppressed Québécois can finally aspire a brighter future, where their proud nation will finally achieve independence. After years of Red Serge and Leaf tyranny, imposed by the Mounted Police, there's at least a glimmer of hope for a return to the prosperity of the Vice-Royalty of New France.

Alas et allez-y!

P.S.

Our European allies and friends have already confirmed their support for Donald's great initiative. Democracy intensifies:

**Roma_Victrix** · January 03, 2020, 07:24 AM

I hear that the US is considering a strategic alliance with Iran in order to counter the Canadian threat from the north. It's time that the US taught those Mounties who's boss and who are the better men. Trump made the right decision here to blow Trudeau to bits without informing Congress or seeking a declaration of war, but if anything were to go wrong, we must find someone else to blame for the fallout. Conveniently, we can photoshop some pictures of Bernie Sanders having gay sex with Andrew Yang and blame it on them for their immoral act of homosex bringing God's wrath in the form of Canadian bacon grenades, maple syrup hoses, and hockey pucks launched across the US-Canadian border.

**Cookiegod** · January 03, 2020, 10:38 AM

The proper military move is to bomb Canadians in Australia and Britain, that way we can piss off three countries instead of just one.

**Derc** · January 03, 2020, 02:56 PM

Australia is way too hot for Canadians. They would just die without the necessity of a bomb. Lucky Australians. I'm sure you did mean Austria.

**Cookiegod** · January 03, 2020, 03:11 PM

Originally Posted by Derc

I'm sure you did mean Austria.

NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!

**Akar** · January 03, 2020, 03:15 PM

Whats the difference between Austria and Australia?

**Cookiegod** · January 03, 2020, 04:02 PM

One has culture, one has Hitler.

**AqD** · January 03, 2020, 05:11 PM

Which one?

**Akar** · January 03, 2020, 08:00 PM

which one is on fire right now? its not that one

**Ἀπολλόδοτος Α΄ ὁ Σωτήρ** · January 04, 2020, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by Abdülmecid I

Reds will whine as usual, but the strike was completely justified. Trudeau and his ilk were arming and financing Cascadian terrorism for years. Many innocent ursine contractors had been killled by Cascadian separatists, who took advantage of the Democrats' utopian pacifism.

Nothing new here, Cascadia claims parts of Canada as well and we know that the Canucks love arming people who then somehow, for no apparent reason, turn against them.

Originally Posted by Abdülmecid I

Hundreds of grizzly lives sacrificed to the altar of appeasement. As our Commander in Chief correctly mentioned, Hussein Obama had exploited the negotiations with the Ottawa regime, in order to boost his domestic popularity for the upcoming elections.

It took a lot of work to undo the Kenyan Presidency. Thanks Obama.

Originally Posted by Abdülmecid I

Now that the marple serpent has been beheaded, American prestige has been reinforced throughout the hemisphere, from the Arctic circle and Siberia to Iceland and Yucatàn. Meanwhile, the long oppressed Québécois can finally aspire a brighter future, where their proud nation will finally achieve independence. After years of Red Serge and Leaf tyranny, imposed by the Mounted Police, there's at least a glimmer of hope for a return to the prosperity of the Vice-Royalty of New France.

That's right, thanks to the great wisdom and display of strength by the current President, I bet It'll be a short time before Québécois are free to drink fine French wine, instead that maple syrup trash that the Ottawa syrup-mongers force them to drink!

**Roma_Victrix** · January 04, 2020, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by Ἀπολλόδοτος Α΄ ὁ Σωτήρ

Nothing new here, Cascadia claims parts of Canada as well and we know that the Canucks love arming people who then somehow, for no apparent reason, turn against them.

It took a lot of work to undo the Kenyan Presidency. Thanks Obama.

That's right, thanks to the great wisdom and display of strength by the current President, I bet It'll be a short time before Québécois are free to drink fine French wine, instead that maple syrup trash that the Ottawa syrup-mongers force them to drink!

May they drown in maple syrup mixed with their own blood. May the flag of the maple leaf burn in the night. Allah willing Ottowa and Toronto will burn and with it the Mounties who defy us.