My mom's pumpkin pie is better than your mom's pumpkin pie, and there's nothing you can do about it.

[Roma_Victrix]

Yeah, that's right, what are you gonna do about it, huh?

Firstly, non-Americans and non-Canadians are not allowed to even comment in this thread, because you don't even have homemade pumpkin pie. Instead, you have churros, creme brulee, and gelato. It's a tragic result of you not having any culture, holiday culinary arts, a Thanksgiving holiday, or just basic integrity. So help me God if I hear a Brit or an Northern Irishman try to talk about a mince pie or a shepherd's pie in this thread I am going to scream and make you feel the full effects of Brexit right away.

All of that being said, other Americans (and Canadians, I'll begrudgingly mention) don't even have pumpkin pie as good as my family, NO WAY! You're all a bunch of losers and poop heads who never put enough goddamn spice into it, like this guy. I'm sure his version tastes pretty good, but seriously, never trust a cook book recipe and double the goddamn amount of suggested spices, you barbarian who lacks taste buds! Say what you want about the heathen Mexicans, at least they spice the hell out of things, including some of their own desserts.



At least this dude tries, though. This other guy looks like he's making bland store-bought pumpkin pie that you just buy like an idiot from a grocery store instead of making it on your own like a fully grown adult. The color of it just looks off too, too dark looking, exactly like every store bought pumpkin pie I have ever seen. BOO THIS MAN!

[Cookiegod]

you eat your moms pie? ugh.

[Akar]

my mom died in iraq fighting for your freedom to eat that pie

[Akar]

to be clear she wasn't a soldier she died in an explosion at a canning factory in baghdad in 1998

[Cookiegod]

pumpkin pie canning factory in Baghdad. Another great tradition of natives culturally appropriated by the invading Americans. If it wasn't for the heroes in the US armed forces bombing that factory and killing Akar's mom, that secret recipe would never have leaked.

[Sar1n]

How does it taste anyway? I never had it. But then, I'm from the Old World. We have much better things to eat.

[Akar]

Like a pumpkin

[Sar1n]

Like a pumpkin

Honestly, never had that either. We eat different members of Cucurbitaceae here. But in my experience, they're rather bland, except for watermelons.

[Cookiegod]

Like a pumpkin

Enough with the Sex talk already.

[Akar]

Honestly, never had that either. We eat different members of Cucurbitaceae here. But in my experience, they're rather bland, except for watermelons.

Yes, well, personally I've always found you rather bland.

[Sar1n]

Yes, well, personally I've always found you rather bland.

Well, I'm not full of sugar or salt, unlike most American food I tasted so far...

But I'm quirky in my own way.

[Akar]

I will bake you into a pie and find out for myself.


edit: no homo

[Sar1n]

I will bake you into a pie and find out for myself.


edit: no homo

Well...since you said that, best I can do is to send you my nail clippings. Considering my lifestyle, it might as well be healthiest part of me.

[Roma_Victrix]

you eat your moms pie? ugh.

I see no other choice but to read this post in more ways than one!

to be clear she wasn't a soldier she died in an explosion at a canning factory in baghdad in 1998

RIP, Akar. I'm sorry for your loss. The Saddam regime was indeed ruthless to any who might support pro-American causes, like cultivating the pumpkin plant. Was this event tied to the Halabja chemical attack against the Kurds that same year? If so, I never knew you were part Kurdish! Cheese curds are my favorite, your people truly make lovely food.

pumpkin pie canning factory in Baghdad. Another great tradition of natives culturally appropriated by the invading Americans. If it wasn't for the heroes in the US armed forces bombing that factory and killing Akar's mom, that secret recipe would never have leaked.

The leak made the world a better place, though! Now my family has the best pumpkin pie recipe in the world, guarded zealously like the Chinese secret of silk production.

How does it taste anyway? I never had it. But then, I'm from the Old World. We have much better things to eat.

I honestly don't know how to compare pumpkin to anything else, but it can be used to flavor not just pies but also serve as a base ingredient for things like pancakes and waffles. That being said...

Honestly, never had that either. We eat different members of Cucurbitaceae here. But in my experience, they're rather bland, except for watermelons.

...they definitely don't taste anything like a freaking watermelon.

Well...since you said that, best I can do is to send you my nail clippings. Considering my lifestyle, it might as well be healthiest part of me.

Nail clippings sound hard, but if cooked just right, can be mistaken for hard chopped bits of almond or pistachio in certain pies.

[Akar]

The chemical attack was 10 years before my mother died in the horrific pumpkin canning incident. I don't know why you'd think that was related unless you were intentionally trying to fan the flames of the anti-pumpkin industry. Big Pumpkin will survive these disparaging attacks, despite your best efforts.

[Cookiegod]

Feeding a sanctioned population is very frowned upon. Your mom deserved to die.

"We have heard that half a million children have died. I mean, that's more children than died in Hiroshima. And, you know, is the price worth it?"
"I think this is a very hard choice, but the price — we think the price is worth it." - Madeleine Albright

Also today:

A little girl died as I drove over her repeatedly with my car. Am I responsible? My well-meaning action may be inflicting pain on the wrong people.

[Akar]

Ahh yes, what would we do without the valuable words of opinion columnist Nicholas Kristof

[Roma_Victrix]

Feeding a sanctioned population is very frowned upon. Your mom deserved to die.


Also today:

A little girl died as I drove over her repeatedly with my car. Am I responsible? My well-meaning action may be inflicting pain on the wrong people.

It's not a question of whether or not Akar's mom personally deserved to die, it's a question of what did we do with her remains after her passing. You know, the Sioux tribe of Native Americans made use of all parts of the buffalo. We should be aspiring to their noble example! Bit by bit, Akar's mom should be baked into pumpkin pie, a modest proposal to feed the masses and especially wealthy Americans, so that she or her family are no longer a burden to the nation and instead a benefit to the public good.

Start with the nail clippings, like Sar1n suggests!

The chemical attack was 10 years before my mother died in the horrific pumpkin canning incident. I don't know why you'd think that was related unless you were intentionally trying to fan the flames of the anti-pumpkin industry. Big Pumpkin will survive these disparaging attacks, despite your best efforts.

Time has no meaning when I'm enjoying a delicious slice of pumpkin pie.

I guarantee you, I am among the biggest supporters of Big Pumpkin against the anti-Pumpkin lobby. The latter is definitely fueled by foreign interests too, those who would seek to undermine our sacred Thanksgiving holiday.

[Sar1n]

I guarantee you, I am among the biggest supporters of Big Pumpkin against the anti-Pumpkin lobby. The latter is definitely fueled by foreign interests too, those who would seek to undermine our sacred Thanksgiving holiday.

Foreign? I think the only ones with beef with Thanksgiving are native Americans.

[Akar]

Yeah and those damn foreigners wont get the best of us good, hearty, lithe, honest, and supple Americans.