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Thread: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

  1. #1
    Akar's Avatar Faustian Bargain Maker
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    Default Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    Today, just moments ago, I (your humble narrator) was purchasing beer and gas at a gas station just like one that you might find near one of your homes, although probably not as nice. On my way in to the gas station I make eye contact with an homeless outside; a rookie mistake, but one anyone could have made. On my way out, having purchased ten (10) dollars ($) of gas (petroleum), this same homeless once again accosts me with his vision. This time I was steeled against his advances, and did not make eye contact with the homeless. However, as I passed him he predicted and adapted to my defenses. He caught me off guard from the left. From the corner of my eye I saw him approach, but he was fast, faster than I could do anything. Time froze as the homeless opened his mouth and said "Those are some good beers you have there, man". I was frozen inside but I could feel my body move without my control as I found myself turning towards the homeless and agreeing that "Yes, they are some damn good beers". I smile to myself, confident that my reply was enough to silence the homeless. I start to turn to walk away, but before I can he spake again. "Mind if I have one of those, if it doesn't put you off too much?". Now, as a fan of affirmative action I had no choice but to give the homeless his beer. However, as soon as he had the beer he thanked me, walked to a nearby car that was apparently his, and drove off.

    So now I only have eleven (11) beers left and apparently I just gave one away to some random jackass at a gas station instead of a downtrodden and worthless homeless.
    Last edited by Akar; November 03, 2019 at 10:03 PM.

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  2. #2
    Cookiegod's Avatar Vicarius
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    I would rather drink the petroleum than American "beer"
    Qualis noncivitus pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #athelBANtheSwedes #goodbye

  3. #3
    mishkin's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    So the bastard wasn't homeless and he even thinks he is cooler than you. Chase him, Akar.

    Same feeling (I guess): Night bar, woman is approaching, "do you have a cigarette?", I give her a cigarette, she leaves and gives the cigar to her partner who was waiting for her a few meters away.

  4. #4
    Akar's Avatar Faustian Bargain Maker
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    I knew I should have stood my ground and opened fire on him as he advanced away from me. I mean it's like dollar or something for the beer but its the principle of the thing

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  5. #5
    mishkin's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    "Your Honor, I killed him on principle "

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    Akar's Avatar Faustian Bargain Maker
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind


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  7. #7
    mishkin's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    Off topic question, do not report me to trhe authorities. Should I watch that show? Meh? Nah, not going to watch it.

    ---------------------

    Nothing to see here, please continue with the topic (principles, cheating motherers)
    Last edited by mishkin; November 04, 2019 at 03:36 AM.

  8. #8
    Cookiegod's Avatar Vicarius
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    It depends on your personal taste and also what for. Former roomies of mine liked to watch it, and I kinda get why. After a long day you can sit back on the couch and switch your brain off, or have it as a sideshow whilst preparing dinner.
    It's got childish humour, is extremely predictable on every level, but that's what kinda makes it good. It really ain't that bad after a long long long loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong day like the one I'm having now.

    Still it's not something I'd watch. I prefer to listen to radio, podcasts, go for a walk or simply lay down on my couch for a few minutes with my eyes closed, and completely undo any relaxation by spamming the TWC.
    Qualis noncivitus pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #athelBANtheSwedes #goodbye

  9. #9
    AqD's Avatar (>▂<)
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    Is it as joyful as Norsemen or Paradise PD? I'm having problems finding something positive to watch for breakfast.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    I would rather drink the petroleum than American "beer"
    I thought root beer was real beer!

    #CookieJustice #IGod

  10. #10
    Akar's Avatar Faustian Bargain Maker
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    Brooklyn 99 is probably one of my favorite shows ever. It took me two tries to get into it but now I'm a huge fan and have seen all the episodes a dozen times.

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  11. #11
    swabian's Avatar igni ferroque
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    Give your beer next time to people who can appreciate your altruism. Like me. It's not good for 12 year olds and it's also not good for 13 year olds. Just saying.

  12. #12
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    Wait, what? Giving beer to the homeless is a good example of affirmative action? I gotta remember that one.

  13. #13
    Cookiegod's Avatar Vicarius
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    Homeless people are an essential part of the youth beer economy.
    Qualis noncivitus pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #athelBANtheSwedes #goodbye

  14. #14
    Akar's Avatar Faustian Bargain Maker
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    oh no i just meant the guy was black

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  15. #15
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    Translation: Akar, a white person, felt guilty at the sight of a black person begging for beer, so his sense of guilt coaxed him into giving the black guy a beer, because Akar realized that the poverty of the black guy was white people's fault. Well done, AKAR.

  16. #16
    Akar's Avatar Faustian Bargain Maker
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    Most poverty is the fault of the white man, to be fair

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  17. #17
    Cookiegod's Avatar Vicarius
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    Because he tricks minorities into a lifetime of dependency and alcoholism. Well done, AKAR.

    That guy might have been on his way to become a black, Southern Steve Jobs, until someone gave him a beer.
    Qualis noncivitus pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #athelBANtheSwedes #goodbye

  18. #18
    AqD's Avatar (>▂<)
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    So Akar saved him from mental instability and cancer...?

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  19. #19
    Akar's Avatar Faustian Bargain Maker
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    When you put it like that I'm basically like Jesus healing the blind man with mud

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  20. #20
    Adamat's Avatar Invertebrate
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    Default Re: Strange Encounters of the First Kind

    No, but at least his fashion sense is intact
    #JusticeForCookie #JusticeForCal #JusticeForAkar #JusticeForAthelchan

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