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Thread: The Weights and Measures Act (2019)

  1. #1
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default The Weights and Measures Act (2019)

    As you all know the Weights and Measures Act is set to expire in a few weeks, and as such it's fallen upon us to determine the new regulations regarding weights and measurements throughout the forum. The units expiring this year (therefor those needing to be redefined) are: the Shekel, the Cubit, the British Pound Sterling, the British Pound (non-sterling), the League, and the nautical mile.

    Please submit your proposals and they will all be given due consideration. The winner will receive a no expenses paid trip to the local roller rink provided courtesy of Flinn.

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    Commissar Caligula_'s Avatar The Ecstasy of Potatoes
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    Default Re: The Weights and Measures Act (2019)

    The Shekel: It will cost the equivalent of a single red kidney bean.
    The Cubit: This will be measured by reference to Yao Ming's arm from elbow to the tip of the middle finger. Yao Ming must be physically present.
    The British Pound Sterling: It will be replaced by portable Stirling Engines as legal currency.
    The British Pound: It will weigh the same as 3/27ths of a portable Stirling Engine.
    The League: This will instead be a measure of time, similar to a parsec, and will be measured by the distance an average man can walk in 1 hour and 50 minutes (this being the run-time of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
    The Nautical Mile: The length will be judged by how far a ship can travel before its sailors get up to some naughty stuff.
    Last edited by Commissar Caligula_; October 28, 2019 at 04:48 AM.




  3. #3
    Flinn's Avatar The Berlusca Abides!
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    Default Re: The Weights and Measures Act (2019)

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    Please submit your proposals and they will all be given due consideration. The winner will receive a no expenses paid trip to the local roller rink provided courtesy of Flinn.
    We have no local roller rinks here, that's stuff for uncivilized people

    that's what we play here



    I'll gladly organize a free trial of it for all of you lads, in particular for you Akar, I'm sure it will only do you good
    Under the patronage of Finlander, patron of Lugotorix & Lifthrasir & joerock22& Socrates1984; of the Imperial House of Hader

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    Adamat's Avatar Invertebrate
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    Default Re: The Weights and Measures Act (2019)

    The Shekel: Needs no reevaluation, a shekel will still be worth a goy
    The Cubit: Will be renamed to qubit and accordingly be redefined as 0 to 1 times the Planck length
    The British Pound Sterling: Brits won't have any money after Brexit so this currency is obsolete
    The British Pound: Whatever happens in Geordie Shore
    The League: One (1) game
    The Nautical Mile: The distance from which a ship's crew can smell the red light district

    Son of Diamat

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    Cookiegod's Avatar Domesticus
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    Default Re: The Weights and Measures Act (2019)

    I'd like a system that panders to my nostalgia.

    The Shekel: Shall once again become a weight unit, in addition to remaining a useless currency.
    • Shekel (Currency): Shall henceforth be tied to the British Pound Sterling AND Bitcoin by making it equal to a British Pound Sterling multiplied with a randomly generated number.
    • Shekel (Weight): 1/30th of the weight of silver equaling the fiscal value of friendship with Jesus.

    The League: The length of Theodore Roosevelt's big stick. League of United Nations must be present and passive for measurement.
    The Cubit: The length of Queen Elizabeth's big stick. House of Commons must be present for the measurement and agree on the results.
    The British Pound Sterling: The value of one British Pound of Sterling Silver. Duh!
    The British Pound: The weight of one British Pound Sterling worth of fish and chips.
    The Nautical Mile: The distance the average British male can swim right after eating a British Pound Sterlings worth of Fish and Chips, before drowning.

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    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
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    Default Re: The Weights and Measures Act (2019)

    Quote Originally Posted by Flinn View Post
    We have no local roller rinks here, that's stuff for uncivilized people

    that's what we play here



    I'll gladly organize a free trial of it for all of you lads, in particular for you Akar, I'm sure it will only do you good

    What in the name of vaguely homoerotic renaissance fair wrestling is this

    Join us on the Thema Devia Discord Server: https://discord.gg/ASqJf5C
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    Cookiegod's Avatar Domesticus
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    Default Re: The Weights and Measures Act (2019)

    It is vaguely homoerotic renaissance fair wrestling

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    Flinn's Avatar The Berlusca Abides!
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    Default Re: The Weights and Measures Act (2019)

    It's called Calcio Fiorentino and it's something you can't find in your puny countries

    If you play a match and survive, then you can call yourself a man
    Under the patronage of Finlander, patron of Lugotorix & Lifthrasir & joerock22& Socrates1984; of the Imperial House of Hader

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    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: The Weights and Measures Act (2019)

    Quote Originally Posted by Commissar Caligula_ View Post
    The Shekel: It will cost the equivalent of a single red kidney bean.
    The Cubit: This will be measured by reference to Yao Ming's arm from elbow to the tip of the middle finger. Yao Ming must be physically present.
    The British Pound Sterling: It will be replaced by portable Stirling Engines as legal currency.
    The British Pound: It will weigh the same as 3/27ths of a portable Stirling Engine.
    The League: This will instead be a measure of time, similar to a parsec, and will be measured by the distance an average man can walk in 1 hour and 50 minutes (this being the run-time of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
    The Nautical Mile: The length will be judged by how far a ship can travel before its sailors get up to some naughty stuff.
    Alternatively, the shekel could be worth one dreidel, five shekels could be worth one menorah, and 2,000 shekels could be worth 1 hour with Netanyahu in his private bedchambers.

    We could also bend time, space, and reality itself in order to make the nautical mile the equivalent of the cubit. Also, the British pound sterling should actually weigh an entire British pound (453 grams). One league should ideally be the equivalent length of the circumference of the Earth.

  10. #10
    AqD's Avatar (~‾▿‾)~
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    Default Re: The Weights and Measures Act (2019)

    Quote Originally Posted by Flinn View Post
    We have no local roller rinks here, that's stuff for uncivilized people

    that's what we play here



    I'll gladly organize a free trial of it for all of you lads, in particular for you Akar, I'm sure it will only do you good
    Where can I watch this??

  11. #11
    Flinn's Avatar The Berlusca Abides!
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    Default Re: The Weights and Measures Act (2019)

    Quote Originally Posted by AqD View Post
    Where can I watch this??
    I don't think you can find it on any TV show, but if you lurk YT for "Calcio Fiorentino" there should be plenty of videos
    Under the patronage of Finlander, patron of Lugotorix & Lifthrasir & joerock22& Socrates1984; of the Imperial House of Hader

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