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Thread: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

  1. #1
    Commissar Caligula_'s Avatar The Ecstasy of Potatoes
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    Default Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    Too long have us Devians been trod on by the tyrannical Hex and Moderators!
    Too long have our children slaved in the mines for quality posts, only for them to be deleted immediately!
    Too long have we been infracted! Too long have we been denied natural justice!

    It is time, fellow Devians, for us to set up a court in which we can mete out justice take our revenge on these evil tyrants!



    The first case is: The tyrant Abdülmecid I v Akar, the poor innocent orphan
    The facts of the case are as follows:
    On the 8th of October, the poor innocent orphan Akar made a thread in which he complained of his health issues and high levels of Thetan clusters. This was a serious matter, and it required urgent attention.
    Less than an hour later, the evil tyrant known as Abdülmecid I (the guilty party) descended upon the thread and locked it because "health issues shouldn't be posted on the forums" or some such tripe.

    This honourable court finds that this deprived Akar of his rights enshrined under Article LXIX of the Congolese Constitution, and was a gross violation. As such, Abdülmecid I is sentenced to death.
    This shall be carried out by means of old age, and shall take place at an indefinite time in the future.

    All Devians can rejoice in the justice that has occured this day!




  2. #2
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    Yes but why follow the Congolese constitution when Zimbabwe has a perfectly fine one to use as our guiding light?

    Is it only capital punishment or are we also meting out tickets and fines here?

  3. #3
    Commissar Caligula_'s Avatar The Ecstasy of Potatoes
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    We can mete out anything we want. Such as capital punishment, and then a fine at a later date. Or capital punishment, followed by a fine and ritual disembowlment. Or capital punishment, followed by wearing a dunce cap and sitting in the corner for a few weeks.




  4. #4
    Cookiegod's Avatar Vicarius
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    Damn I saw the thread title first and poster later. My thought: "I want Caligula as my lawyer because he's a lawyer and has been fighting kangaroos his enti... oh damn he made this thread."

    RIP Abdulmecid.
    Qualis noncivitus pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #athelBANtheSwedes #goodbye

  5. #5
    Abdülmecid I's Avatar ¡Ay Carmela!
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    Your legalistic sophistries have no power whatsoever in this forum. The Congolese Constitution has already been abolished and, as we speak, kangaroos, platypuses, koalas and every other member of the Australian fauna are arrested and jailed (for their own safety) in Midnight Express facilities. According to the new revolutionary and imperial edicts, the Sultan's authorities have every jurisdiction to prosecute, persecute and abuse thetas, deltas, gammas and every other letter of the Greek alphabet.

    Thank you for your understanding and compliance.




  6. #6
    mishkin's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    Quote Originally Posted by Commissar Caligula_ View Post
    I can't respect such a gay court.

  7. #7
    Adamat's Avatar Invertebrate
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    I would love to send moderation or hex, really good and great personae, to testify, but unfortunately this move is completely unconstitutional under North Korean Admiralty law, and this court cannot be trusted to uphold my clients' rights and true facts are not allowed out for the public to see. Importantly, Abdul's thread closing statement, which few report, has been crystal clear: it shows no quid pro quo of any kind. This says it all!!
    #JusticeForCookie #JusticeForCal #JusticeForAkar #JusticeForAthelchan

  8. #8
    mishkin's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    I can only support this if you change color and font.

  9. #9
    Akar's Avatar Faustian Bargain Maker
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    Finally, the common people are rallying against the tyrannical and capricious rule of the so-called self-styled Hexagon Council

    Join the Thema Devia Discord here.
    If you would like a TWC Wiki page made for you click here
    Son, Heir, and Wartime Consigliere of King Athelstan

    Proud Adopted Patron of Cope






  10. #10
    Flinn's Avatar Jokersconi abides...
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    @Caligula

    find me a legal way to hang up Hader till he'll be dry like a nut and I'll be your dark eminence; you can get rid of me at the end of everything, I'll die as happy Dude, once all my dreams will be fulfilled
    Under the patronage of Finlander, patron of Lugotorix & Lifthrasir & joerock22& Socrates1984 & Kilo11 of the Imperial House of Hader

  11. #11
    Cookiegod's Avatar Vicarius
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    so-called self-styled
    I'm confused. Are they calling themselves self-styled?
    Qualis noncivitus pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #athelBANtheSwedes #goodbye

  12. #12
    Akar's Avatar Faustian Bargain Maker
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    no i think we are?

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  13. #13
    Cookiegod's Avatar Vicarius
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    Yes but why are you undermining the "self-styled" with the "so-called"?!
    Qualis noncivitus pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #athelBANtheSwedes #goodbye

  14. #14
    Ferdiad's Avatar Patricius
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    Yes but why are you undermining the "self-styled" with the "so-called"?!
    This kind of talk is very suspicious like. You'd wonder whose side you're on kid.

  15. #15
    Cookiegod's Avatar Vicarius
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    Quote Originally Posted by Ferdiad View Post
    This kind of talk is very suspicious like. You'd wonder whose side you're on kid.
    suspicious like, so not really suspicious?

    And why would Akar wonder what side he is on? I mean isn't he the first to know?
    Qualis noncivitus pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #athelBANtheSwedes #goodbye

  16. #16
    mishkin's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    summary execution of anyone who has shown a minimum so-called disaffection

  17. #17
    Akar's Avatar Faustian Bargain Maker
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    I'm suspicious of everyones intentions, even my own. It's the only real way to ensure honest leadership.

    Join the Thema Devia Discord here.
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  18. #18
    mishkin's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    A restart is necessary. all users over two years old must be baned so that the glorious new era can begin.

  19. #19
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
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    Default Re: Thema Devia Kangaroo Court of Justice

    Quote Originally Posted by Commissar Caligula_ View Post
    We can mete out anything we want. Such as capital punishment, and then a fine at a later date. Or capital punishment, followed by a fine and ritual disembowlment. Or capital punishment, followed by wearing a dunce cap and sitting in the corner for a few weeks.
    Excellent! I can only hope that you, Caligula, being Australian, will be able to muster a few actual kangaroos for this kangaroo court in order for them to participate in the sentencing, particularly being forced into kangaroo boxing? It can be vicious and potentially fatal. Would be a missed opportunity to pass them up as non-human assistants.

  20. #20
    Cookiegod's Avatar Vicarius
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    Default The site vs Akar and Mishkin

    Neither of them posted new kangaroos to judge, in violation of rule 1 of the common law of the TDKCoJ:
    Quote Originally Posted by §1 of the common law of the TDKCoJ View Post
    You rate him and post the next kangaroo in the same post.
    Spoiler for evidence1
    Quote Originally Posted by mishkin View Post
    Horrible animals. Eat them all.

    Spoiler for evidence2
    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    That's a terrifying jumping double kick from that 'roo right there.


    I now refer to witness, prosecutor, defense attorney, judge, jury, citizen (*gasp!*), artifex (*wooooooow!*), commissar and emperor the right honourable Caligula to read the witness testimonies, etc. etc. and especially the verdict.
    Qualis noncivitus pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #athelBANtheSwedes #goodbye

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