Health Issues

[Akar]

Hey guys, I just got back from a doctors appointment today and it turns out I have uncommonly high levels of Thetan clusters in my body. Obviously, any levels of Thetans aren't ideal so this was especially troubling news to hear. The tests weren't conclusive to the exact number of Thetan clusters present in my body at the time but the doctors told me that they could detect around 50 Thetans inside my stomach and chest cavity (approximately 75 ounces or 2250 grams of Thetans). My team of doctors is still working and consulting with outside experts as to what the best method of treatment will be going forward but they think it's very likely that the Thetans will have to be exorcised from my body manually; though the exact method by which this will be done has not yet been made clear.

Any prayers or support you guys could offer in these trying times would be very welcome. This is a very serious issue so I would appreciate it if we could keep this thread free of any jokes or trolling guys thank you.

[Akar]

I have used my immense magical and political prowess to get this thread unlocked.

[Cookiegod]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! I laughed so hard when this got banned. Then I had to google Thetan's. Then I laughed some more.

Now this unlock plus post delete of shame.

[Akar]

I feel like I deserve a public apology from Hex/Mods and at least one resignation from a high ranking staff member in addition to restitution being paid to me in the form of rep and an expungement of my infractions.

[Diamat]

If Hex was North Korea, they'd have executed you three times over.

[Akar]

I'm just too damn important to get rid of, and that's just the way it is.

[Roma_Victrix]

Like an 80s teenage boy eyeing his dad's Playboy magazine while sitting on the toilet, you gotta release those Thetans somehow.

LORD HELP ME TO RELEASE...THIS...DEMON!!!!!!

[Cookiegod]

I'm just too damn important to get rid of, and that's just the way it is.

You are the thetan of this forum.

[Flinn]

I feel like I deserve a public apology from Hex/Mods and at least one resignation from a high ranking staff member in addition to restitution being paid to me in the form of rep and an expungement of my infractions.

you are more likely to be hanged by feet for an indefinite amount of time, believe me

If Hex was North Korea, they'd have executed you three times over.

Precisely

[Cookiegod]

North Korea too moderates with red ink.

My impeachment campaign is working!!!

[Flinn]

North Korea too moderates with red ink.

shhh or they'll start to say that we are a communist site..

...oh wait

[Cookiegod]

No I say you moderate with the blood of murdered dreams.
All Akar wanted was to share his personal story of suffering. His prognosis got so much worse because of all the thetans leaking through the cracks into his broken heart.

I fear the intelligent and thoughtful Akar I respect and love might soon be dead. If the thetans get into his brain.... You know what?! I can't. It hurts too much.

[Commissar Caligula_]

We should set up our own Thema Devia Kangaroo Court to mete our justice to the evil Moderators and Hex

[Flinn]

No I say you moderate with the blood of murdered dreams.

Well for the most I like hanging people, blood is so gross after all

[Akar]

I've begun therapy in addition to regular auditing and counseling sessions to hopefully erase the terrible trauma that hex netted out against me, an innocent and loving and kind man.

[Cookiegod]

Well for the most I like hanging people, blood is so gross after all

Hanging is more gross. Once they're dead, the sphincter and the bladder have no more reason to hold their contents in.

[Flinn]

In general it happens with all the deads... but I think we can avoid going into creepy details eh? Thanks

[Akar]

Hanging is more gross. Once they're dead, the sphincter and the bladder have no more reason to hold their contents in.

What, self respect and a desire to do a good job isn't enough of a reason to keep holding on? I've trained my body to hold everything in until I've been buried.

In general it happens with all the deads... but I think we can avoid going into creepy details eh? Thanks

I think it would probably be for the best if you did elaborate, actually.

[Cookiegod]

All I'm saying is the higher up the corpse, the greater the spread of the golden shower raining on what and whoever's below.
Cut a guy up nicely, and he won't be dead until after he's lying on the floor, at which point everyone will be more concerned about all the red.

I have made many tests on this.

[Akar]

You say he won't be dead until after he's on the floor? So does this mean that if you cut someone's head off in an airplane and drop the body out of it the person could survive for minutes until he hits the ground?