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Thread: Bernie Sanders Has Become A Cyborg

  1. #1
    Akar's Avatar I am not a clever man
    Patrician Citizen Censor

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    Jun 2010
    12th Plane of Torment
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    Default Bernie Sanders Has Become A Cyborg

    Well folks, the news broke just a few hours ago. Bernie Sanders went to the hospital for emergency heart surgery and while under the knife his still beating heart was replaced with the cold steel and hydraulics of a robot, cyborg, ape-heart. I don't know about you guys but personally I find it utterly reprehensible that a U.S presidential candidate, or any one for that matter, deigns them self above our creator in heaven and would seek to prolong their life through such artificial and necromantic means.

    What's next I ask? Joe Biden transferring his soul into a phylactery and attempting to rule America as the first Lich President? Or is it Elizabeth Warren transferring her consciousness into a pack of dogs and hunting children in the streets of Massachusetts? Or perhaps could it be Trump who sheds his husk and molts an entirely new, entirely terrifying new form?

    We've gone too far, my friends. We've strayed from the light and I fear in the darkness we shall not find our way back.

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  2. #2
    Derc's Avatar Centenarius
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Bernie Sanders Has Become A Cyborg

    Sanders shows that he is only a human being, like many of us, not like this megalomaniac manifestation of capitalism, Donald Trump, that is.
    If anyone can defeat the Trump, then it is Colonel Sanders himself.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Seriously. That man is a legend. We wish him well.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Bernie Sanders Has Become A Cyborg

    "Dead or alive, you're coming with me!" - Officer Murphy(Metro Police)

  4. #4
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar I am your sovereign now
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Virginia, USA

    Default Re: Bernie Sanders Has Become A Cyborg

    Senator Bernie Sanders should become the next Bionic Man and have most of his body parts replaced with either bio-engineered superhuman limbs or purely robotic ones that can crush skulls and crumple a man the size of Ted Cruz in an instant.

    However, to make things fair in the general election, Trump should be given a gigantic robot suit like in the movie Avatar when he faces Bernie in the ring for each round of fighting and no-holds-barred MMA style street boxing.

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