LET US THOROUGHLY AVIANIZE TOTAL WAR CENTER
A Proclamation by His Holiness, Pope Diamat I, Blessed Guardian of the Holy Church of Meloncat
A scourge is haunting the divine halls of the Thema Devia. A human, who must not be named, corrupts the souls of innocent Devians with puerile notions of human greatness and justice. Worst of all, he seeks the destruction of birdkind. We Avians and all followers of the Holy Church of Meloncat must stand united against this great threat. Should we allow our hearts to be stained by this corrupting influence, the Thema Devia and then all of Total War Center will descend into chaos. Memes will cry rivers of blood in which the innocent whimper as they drown in sorrow and despair. And so I say unto you, fellow Devians, have faith in Meloncat! Have faith in the Avian Alliance, the vanguard of the Church. Reject the heathen and his teachings!
Comrades, we have made great progress over the past two years. The Holy Church of Meloncat has never been so firmly established in the hearts of Devians as is the case now. Meloncat bestows them with all the blessings of furry purry goodness and all enjoy the juices of his Divine Melon. As we all know, as the holy struggle advances to higher and higher stages, as the Holy Church grows stronger, it is necessary to strengthen the democratic dictatorship of the Devians. This is only possible through the Devians' vanguard, the Avians, who are destined to organize, inspire, and lead Devians to their blissful future. Owing to the prophecies of Meloncat, birdkind is destined to prepare the holy path. In alliance with all good Devians, under the leadership of the Avians, we shall firmly implant the Church throughout Total War Center. But as the struggle intensifies, so does the desperation of our enemies, the vile followers of Lemoncat and ZEOLLA. In the present stage, the struggle has grown particularly intense. These conditions demand a more thorough spiritual unity of Devians. In other words, we must Avianize Total War Center. All Devians, whether bird or not, can attain the spirit of birdhood. Birdhood is a spiritual state attainable by all who seek it. When you achieve birdhood, you become one with the Church, and one with the path laid out by Meloncat. You become a vanguard yourself.
Thus I say unto you: hold high the banner of birdhood! Long live the Holy Church of Meloncat and her vanguard organization! Long live the immortal Melon-idea! SHUM!