Let Us Thoroughly Avianize TWC!

[Diamat]

LET US THOROUGHLY AVIANIZE TOTAL WAR CENTER

A Proclamation by His Holiness, Pope Diamat I, Blessed Guardian of the Holy Church of Meloncat

A scourge is haunting the divine halls of the Thema Devia. A human, who must not be named, corrupts the souls of innocent Devians with puerile notions of human greatness and justice. Worst of all, he seeks the destruction of birdkind. We Avians and all followers of the Holy Church of Meloncat must stand united against this great threat. Should we allow our hearts to be stained by this corrupting influence, the Thema Devia and then all of Total War Center will descend into chaos. Memes will cry rivers of blood in which the innocent whimper as they drown in sorrow and despair. And so I say unto you, fellow Devians, have faith in Meloncat! Have faith in the Avian Alliance, the vanguard of the Church. Reject the heathen and his teachings!

Comrades, we have made great progress over the past two years. The Holy Church of Meloncat has never been so firmly established in the hearts of Devians as is the case now. Meloncat bestows them with all the blessings of furry purry goodness and all enjoy the juices of his Divine Melon. As we all know, as the holy struggle advances to higher and higher stages, as the Holy Church grows stronger, it is necessary to strengthen the democratic dictatorship of the Devians. This is only possible through the Devians' vanguard, the Avians, who are destined to organize, inspire, and lead Devians to their blissful future. Owing to the prophecies of Meloncat, birdkind is destined to prepare the holy path. In alliance with all good Devians, under the leadership of the Avians, we shall firmly implant the Church throughout Total War Center. But as the struggle intensifies, so does the desperation of our enemies, the vile followers of Lemoncat and ZEOLLA. In the present stage, the struggle has grown particularly intense. These conditions demand a more thorough spiritual unity of Devians. In other words, we must Avianize Total War Center. All Devians, whether bird or not, can attain the spirit of birdhood. Birdhood is a spiritual state attainable by all who seek it. When you achieve birdhood, you become one with the Church, and one with the path laid out by Meloncat. You become a vanguard yourself.

Thus I say unto you: hold high the banner of birdhood! Long live the Holy Church of Meloncat and her vanguard organization! Long live the immortal Melon-idea! SHUM!

[Commissar Caligula_]

Yeah nah

[Akar]

Cool it before you pop a blood cell, Mohammed Atta.

[Sar1n]

I swear, the adds are getting smarter. Whoever at Winchester Arms thought of this deserves a raise.

[Diamat]

Our Avian Sturmtruppen have been mobilized.

[Roma_Victrix]

Birds are basically dinosaurs evolved into the modern era, so this is like the monsters taking over the facilities in the movie Jurassic Park.

Is there nothing that can stop them? Perhaps trick them into getting trapped into a giant birdhouse that serves as a death trap or birdcage prison facility?

Also, why aren't you presenting us with a solution for counterattack, Akar, great holy and wise leader of the Thema Devia? Your troops are assembled and await only your command.

[Akar]

We have to let them strike first so we have an excuse to take their oil, tear down their monuments, and radicalize their children.

[Diamat]

You need an excuse?

[Akar]

sorry let me just apologize for respecting the rule of law, international treaties, and societal conventions

[Flinn]

I'm in, but only if you'll allow me to make jokes with cocks

[Diamat]

Yes of course. But I should point out that there is a difference between "jokes with cocks" and "jokes about cocks." The former, which seems to be your preferred choice, tends to get rather bawdy, largely due to the feral nature of most cocks.

[La♔De♔Da♔Brigadier Graham]

I'm partial to grouse.......shooting them of course........

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

brig last week in the highlands,then its off to the lodge for a spot of tiffin and everyone was bally happy, wot wot!

[Flinn]

Yes of course. But I should point out that there is a difference between "jokes with cocks" and "jokes about cocks." The former, which seems to be your preferred choice, tends to get rather bawdy, largely due to the feral nature of most cocks.

that was the intention

[Dude with the Food]

Don't invade Russia in the winter, don't fight a land war in Asia, don't declare war on the emus. Basic military principles. I gotta say, I'm with the birds on this one.

[Diamat]

I say we got ourselves a beautiful little civil war here. It is time for a good old-fashioned purge. And the Avians seem to have the numbers here.

[Roma_Victrix]

[Cookiegod]

What do avians and arians have in common?

Herecy.

Don't listen to the false prophet! Worship only the one true cookiegod!

[Akar]

Down with the Avian apostates!

For once I have to say im with the Donald on this one boys

[Sir Adrian]

FOR THE AVIAN ALLIANCE!!! HOOT HOOT!!!

[The Guy With No Imagination]

Avians are inferior to Humans, as such, I am above their Pope.

I can not yield or submit to a high authority that remains and shall always be, beneath me.