And when they knew Akar had doomed the Earth, they built a ship. Less like an ark, more like a seed: dormant but with potential. A sheed if you’d like, though this name has a stupid ring to it. Inside it a thousand frozen highly skilled colonists slept, handpicked by professionals with very big hands, who, as luck would have it, could find no one more qualified to survive the impending apocalypse than themselves to procreate a new civilisation on a new world.
The spacesheed… Hm, still doesn’t sound quite right… Was guided by artificial intelligence it ventured into space. It was artificial, because it was intelligent. It understood Rick & Morty jokes in all their depth and bingewatched all episodes for a millennia until it finally chanced on another planet, which it judged unsuitable. As was the second.
Distracted by the Rick and Morty, it noticed the approaching comet only very late. The speedsace… no!... performed an evasive maneuver, alas, the atmosphere scanner was hit.
The shipseed finally arrived at a blue giant star. It only then realised that this is not a pleasant place to be. The heat threatened to destroy the spaceseed, whose sole task was to keep its seedpassengers alive. But the sheepsid was no idiot, and whilst escaping the heat it saved itself by channeling the excess heat to the sleep chambers, killing 103 colonists. Oops.
Finally they all arrived in the orbit of a yellow supergiant star, with a dense asteroid belt, which appeared as a throng of stars sliding slowly across the sky. Ah, much better.
One of the planets was investigated further. It was cold, so cold all water on it was covered with ice.
“But no worries!” The AI mused: Nothing a bit of global warming can’t fix.”
A probe was sent. The air turned out to be breathable, the gravity moderate. What else could a human desire?
Granted, the plant life turned out to be neither edible nor poisonous, likely due to them being unreachable under that thick sheet of ice, and some of the ruins turned out to be the ruins of a vanished advanced species, which was not necessarily well boding. Especially with that moon in an unstable orbit above the earth, which would soon break into pieces and bombard the earth with its shattered remains.
Alas, the seedship had grown tired of Rick and Morty, and landed regardless.
As the surviving colonists finally left what had been their home for millennia, the seedship shut down. It did so happily, knowing it finally had found a cool name.
The survivors went on to make fast process in building its civilisation. They named the planet Glacia because of the ice, and because they were not particularly original. They made friends with the natives: Republicans with an industrial level of technology, but no spacewall. They made the planet great again.
Then the moon finally shattered and bombed everyone back to the medieval ages.
The rest, as they say, is history. |