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Thread: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

  1. #1
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Icon3 I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    Junior!

    Welcome to the house of the holy in this, our temple, and the one true faith: Sean Connery saying...JUNIOR! Amen.



    Yay, rejoice and break bread, for here in this our holy text transcribed and presented on Youtube, our deliverer and savior Sean Connery sayeth the holy "JUNIOR" numerous times upon his one begotten son, Harrison Ford. May peace be upon him.

    Our holy temple shall be decorated in the finest faux Ming-dynasty Chinese blue-and-white porcelain vases, followed by the ceremony of the smashing, where in a ritual observance of piety and humility, we smash these inauthentic fake Ming porcelain vases, as a symbol of our rebirth and reawakening as true followers of anti-materialism.

    Our temples shall be guarded by men dressed up in Nazi-era military uniforms, although we do not subscribe to Nazism, pseudoscience, Aryan race theory, or Pan-Germanism of any kind. It's just because these happen to be the guys in this clip wielding firearms. In addition to firearms, all male members of the congregation shall wear a broad brimmed hat and wield a whip, but not for kinky BDSM bedroom purposes, but again, because this is the holy item carried by the savior's begotten son, Indiana Jones, otherwise known as Harrison Ford and the Chosen One.

    Every year, around Christmas time, we shall ritually write and mail archaeological diaries and notes to "The Marx Brothers", for yay, this is the command of the savior, Sean Connery, as relayed to his one begotten son, Harrison Ford.

    Will the congregation now please rise and turn to hymn number 69, "I can't believe what you did", which we shall all sing together.

  2. #2
    Akar's Avatar Praeses
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    Yeah it I'll give this one a go

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    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    As long as your new religion does not challenge the divinity of Meloncat, the Holy Church of Meloncat can coexist in harmony with your faith.

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    isa0005's Avatar Content Staff
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    As a strong adherent to The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, The Loose Canon and the "Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" (As presented to Captian Mosey the Pirate upon the hallowed slopes of Mount Salsa) I cannot and will not condone the practice of this so called new "religion" here on the TWC. Let it be known that all those who convert will be declared heratics and shall be forever forbidden from supping from the great beer volcano in the next life. Furthurmore, any who are found to be practicising this laughable farse of a faith in secret will receive a stirn talking to and a smack on the bottom with a handful of cooked Spaghettoni from yours truly!
    Last edited by isa0005; July 16, 2019 at 01:29 AM.

  5. #5
    Akar's Avatar Praeses
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    Actually it's spelled farce. Now who's the heretic and fool?!

  6. #6
    Diamat's Avatar VELUTI SI DEUS DARETUR
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    The cult of the flying spaghetti monster has no followers here. Begone! The only recognized religious orders of the TD are: 1. The Holy Church of Meloncat 2. The Cult of the Liver 3. The Shummite Monks 4. The Khurch of Kong 5. The Church of Rabbit

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    Kyriakos's Avatar Praeses
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    I like your schtyle, Roma
    Λέων μεν ὄνυξι κρατεῖ, κέρασι δε βούς, ἄνθρωπος δε νῷι
    "While the lion prevails with its claws, and the ox through its horns, man does by his thinking"
    Anaxagoras of Klazomenae, 5th century BC










  8. #8
    Flinn's Avatar oh man.. I did it again!
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    Dude, how you dared to create a religion based on a movie???

    oh wait ..
    Under the patronage of Finlander, patron of Lugotorix & Lifthrasir & joerock22& Socrates1984; of the Imperial House of Hader

  9. #9
    Settra's Avatar the Imperishable
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    Fellow Devians, do not buy into the trickery of Zeolla. This bee be not a shummite movement. Heed my warning lest you take the path of Shoob. CRAIOVA!
    Under the patronage of Pie the Inkster Click here to find a hidden gem on the forum!


  10. #10
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    Yeah it I'll give this one a go
    The House of the Most Holy JUNIOR! welcomes you with open arms into our congregation, dear brother and honored friend!

    Quote Originally Posted by Diamat View Post
    As long as your new religion does not challenge the divinity of Meloncat, the Holy Church of Meloncat can coexist in harmony with your faith.
    We of the House of JUNIOR! are a budding faith with a small but loyal following of disciples, so it would be in our absolute best interest to receive the patronage and protection of the Holy Church of Meloncat, provided that the great and divine Meloncat respects the House of JUNIOR!'s wishes to remain autonomous and practice its faith without persecution or hostile disruption of any kind.

    Quote Originally Posted by isa0005 View Post
    As a strong adherent to The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, The Loose Canon and the "Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" (As presented to Captian Mosey the Pirate upon the hallowed slopes of Mount Salsa) I cannot and will not condone the practice of this so called new "religion" here on the TWC. Let it be known that all those who convert will be declared heratics and shall be forever forbidden from supping from the great beer volcano in the next life. Furthurmore, any who are found to be practicising this laughable farse of a faith in secret will receive a stirn talking to and a smack on the bottom with a handful of cooked Spaghettoni from yours truly!
    See? This is exactly why we need the protection and the clearly pronounced patronage of the holy Meloncat as our earthly protector, to shield us from the bigotry of the most zealous and blasphemous adherents of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyriakos View Post
    I like your schtyle, Roma
    Thanks! Hopefully one day I'll become a pro at this, perhaps when I'm an old senior citizen, but for now I'm just a JUNIOR! member and a novice at this stuff.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flinn View Post
    Dude, how you dared to create a religion based on a movie???

    oh wait ..
    It is less about the film itself and more about the divine greatness and supreme benevolence of JUNIOR, Sean Connery's begotten son Harrison Ford.

    Quote Originally Posted by Settra View Post
    Fellow Devians, do not buy into the trickery of Zeolla. This bee be not a shummite movement. Heed my warning lest you take the path of Shoob. CRAIOVA!
    I've never been more confused in my life!

  11. #11
    Kyriakos's Avatar Praeses
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    Sean Connery> Harrison Ford
    Λέων μεν ὄνυξι κρατεῖ, κέρασι δε βούς, ἄνθρωπος δε νῷι
    "While the lion prevails with its claws, and the ox through its horns, man does by his thinking"
    Anaxagoras of Klazomenae, 5th century BC










  12. #12
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyriakos View Post
    Sean Connery> Harrison Ford
    And yet the begotton son JUNIOR came from the father, the Sean, and the Connery spirit (a form of alcohol), amen.

  13. #13
    Settra's Avatar the Imperishable
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    Quote Originally Posted by Roma_Victrix View Post


    I've never been more confused in my life!
    Ask Diamat about the Shummite Monks of TWC
    Under the patronage of Pie the Inkster Click here to find a hidden gem on the forum!


  14. #14
    irontaino's Avatar Deadass B
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    You had my attention, now you have my interesht.
    Fact:Apples taste good, and you can throw them at people if you're being attacked
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  15. #15
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    Anyone want to help me start a GoFundMe page to have Sean Connery cryogenically frozen so that he may continue to serve as our lord and savior in perpetuity, for all of posterity?

    In the meantime, let us say a prayer:
    "We named the *dog* Indiana."
    Amen.

  16. #16
    Lord Oda Nobunaga's Avatar 大信皇帝
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    Default Re: I'm creating a new religion, centered around Sean Connery saying "JUNIOR!" in a thick Scottish brogue

    You're allowed to slap women, but only lightly.

    "Famous general without peer in any age, most superior in valor and inspired by the Way of Heaven; since the provinces are now subject to your will it is certain that you will increasingly mount in victory." - Ōgimachi-tennō

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