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Thread: Re:Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 15531 words)

  1. #1

    Default Re:Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 15531 words)

    Royal Road link. You'll find much better update speed, much more updates, and a closer community there. Plus, all my other work.

    Prologue (below)
    Chapter 1:]
    Chapter 2:
    Chapter 3:
    Chapter 4:
    Chapter 5:
    Chapter 6:
    Chapter 7: In progress


    Now, was probably not a good time to be bored. Archeon the Everchosen had come down from the Chaos Wastes with a thousand warbands and was ravaging the north of the Empire as he made his way down towards Aldorf, seat of civilisation. And while that was happening, hordes of barbarians poured in from the Sea Of Claws and were now raiding Nordland. There were even auspices in the stars that they were going to lay siege to Middenheim and then spread outwards from there. Obviously, that could not happen, and so Captain Estaria and her men were sent there as reinforcements. A grand Battalion of men and women, Horse, Cannon, and Shot were on the road. And even a small squad of Greatswordsman, that had set out from Middenheim on a task for their Elector Count. They didn't offer what, so Estaria didn't pry. But even with the looming threat of Norscan attack at any moment, Estaria was bored.

    She was never meant to be a Captain, ever wanted to be a Captain. She wanted to stay with her handgunners, and her goal was to join the Nuln Ironsides, and wield the greatest firearms Man had ever grasped. She liked guns, she was good with guns, she felt comfort with the cracking boom of a gun and she was deadly accurate with her beloved guns. But, the tides shifted and instead of what she wanted, she got promoted to a Captain after one particularly bloody skirmish, and it wouldn't do for the Captain to not lead from the frontlines. So all she had was a single pistol for cases when it was needed. Maybe that was why she was bored. On long marches, she would play with her Handgun, ensuring it was in pristine condition, ensuring that her bullets and powder were kept, ensuring that she was able to get it ready when called. There was never a shortage of things to do with her Handgun, but here on the field as a Captain, she had scant little.

    Suddenly, snapping her out of her thoughts, there was smoke on the horizon. She ordered her men to make ready and approached cautiously. When they arrived, they saw a village being raided by the Norscans. One of many in this part of the Empire. Usually Middenheim would send out large patrols to contest them, but with the threat of siege, it had drew it's men back. Estaria gathered her men to her, and delivered her orders. A well disciplined line formed up, and the Norscan raid was disrupted by a raking volley of Empire Handguns. It was amusing, to see the look of surprise on their face a moment before it was erased by the metal projectile. Soon the village disgorged it's raiders, bare-chested or lightly armoured men with large weapons charging towards the Empire line with reckless abandon, throwing themselves into the hail of gunfire and not breaking step as their comrades fell around them. If there was one thing you were forced to admit, it was that these Norscans had courage. Heavy northern muscle then smashed against the tough Southern metal of the Empire Shieldwall, and the slaughter began. Estaria lost the ability to see the whole picture, as it was thrown into a flurry of blades, blood and mud, potted with the boom of gun, the scream of death and the slick of sword separating limb.

    Estaria's blade bit deep into the chest of one man, and then she kicked him off her sword, freeing it for a second. Her shield blocked the second man's axe and her arm trembled from the force, but held enough for her to open his throat with her blade. Pushing back the initial charge, Estaria ordered her men into the village, to clean it out and save anyone who could be saved. The men charged with her, and then dispersed into the maze of burning hovels. Estaria herself crossed street and passed death until all the wind was knocked out of her and she was blown off her feet by a giant man with an equally giant hammer. Not just Norscans but Chaos Warriors as well. Coughing and trying to get her breath back as the man lazily approached, Estaria rolled over and pulled out her pistol, firing it at the giant, and puncturing his helmet, sticking the ball into his head. For a second, he just stood there, and Estaria worried that his fell gods had given him inhuman resilience. But then with a great crash, he fell over. Taking a moment to recover from his blow, Estaria stood and shook off the last of it. Reloading her pistol, it was replaced in it's holster and she moved on, to the village square. It was the center of the village, and maybe some had decided to go there for ease.

    Once arriving, she realised nobody had chosen to go there, as the square had been turned into a makeshift altar, where a man in red armour stood, matching axe with sword as one of the Greatswordsman dueled him. Estaria wanted to pull her gun out and shoot him, but his fight with the Greatswordsman made it too hard to get a good shot. One Norscan decided to try for her life and got a sword through the face for his troubles, only moments before the Greatswordsman lost his footing for a moment, was disarmed, and then lost his head a moment afterwards. The man in red armour looked over as Estaria dispatched another two of his raiders, and bellowed.

    "I am Zarh, Blood-spiller of Khorne! Come face me all who dare!" the man's voice was like thunder and his confidence was overwhelming, but Estaria didn't allow herself to be daunted. If she could kill him, the rest of the raiders would fall apart without his leadership. And so she rushed, meeting his axe with her shield. But the blade was sharp and his arm was thick, and the shield was punctured, leading the axe to cut through her vambraces and give a minor cut to her arm. Next cut, would take the arm off. And so she swung with all her vigor and strength, but her blade simply clanged against his armour without puncturing it, and she got a boot in the chest for her trouble. The chestplate was already dented from the hammer, and her ribs didn't feel like they could take anymore punishment. But Sigmar was watching over her, as went she was booted off her feet, she landed close to the sword that had been disarmed from the now dead Greatswordsman. Quickly ditching the rest of her gear, she grabbed it and swung it in a great arc, screaming as it descended on the man closing in on her. The sword cut through armour and bit into flesh, but not deep enough to stop him. That wasn't an issue though, she had a weapon that could hurt him now. Or so she thought. The next moment was the longest moment in her life, as he crushed her chestplate with his axe and buried it deep into her flesh. Gripping the greatsword with all her strength she pushed down on it, but her arms refused to move, and the axe was pulled out from her chest. The world went gray, sound muted, and then everything faded away into the dark.
    Last edited by LillyanaKabal; April 18, 2019 at 07:56 AM.

  2. #2
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
    Content Director Patrician Citizen

    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    United Kingdom

    Default Re: A girl and her game

    This is an exciting and explosive start for your new tale, and you got me interested in Estaria - I wonder whether the story will be following her, or the man in red armour (or both).

    If this is based on the setting of Total War: Warhammer, then perhaps this could be seen as a Warhammer AAR. However, perhaps this is simply based on the setting which the game uses and is nothing to do with the Total War game.

  3. #3

    Default Re: A girl and her game

    Definately Estaria. Although Zarh, Blood-Spiller Of Khorne will show up again.

    And it's based on a slightly modified version of Warhammer Fantasy's End Times. (Modified because the real setting was a catastrophe. There will be no exploding moons or beating the God Of Indulgence because they overindulged, and no Slaans ing off to space). Nothing to do with the Total War game itself. Also, I tried to subscribe to this thread so it would notify me of replies, but that seems to have failed somewhat.

  4. #4

    Default Re: A girl and her game

    Well, wasn't that an exciting prologue? Of course, it'd be a short fanfic if it ended there, so obviously she isn't dead. Please forgive me for this next part, I've never done it and the format is going to be a bit, wonky. We got a title now! Check it. Game things are bold.

    Chapter 1

    Well, at least she wasn't bored anymore. But she was dead, which had it's own set of problems. Wearing a nice dress, was not one of the problems she thought associated with being dead though. And, this place she was in was a strange thing, like it defied explanation. She looked about it, and could find no words to describe it.
    "Confusing elderich places of confusion are kind of par for the course, being dead and all. Why the dress though, is the real question" she muttered to herself, looking around to see if there was anything she could recognize.
    "Well, would you have preferred to be in your battered, bloodstained armour?" a voice asked. Ethereal and everywhere, the voice was very off-putting and yet soothing at the same time. Estaria didn't like it, mostly because it made itself soothing like it was trying to tell her what to think.
    "You make a fair point, sir voice. But if I was one to accept points, however valid, from voices out of nowhere, then I wouldn’t be dead” Estaria replied, smiling to herself.
    “I….fail to see the connection” The booming voice sounded confused now,which was only natural.
    “I’d probably be a begger talking to a brick wall or a woman in one of them prison hospitals where they keep the disturbed” Estaria explained, before taking a stroll through the Halls of the Dead.
    “I can’t argue with that. But I can argue with you being dead, because you aren’t. You are just between lives right now, and I am bored, so I am going to try something cool and interesting” the voice told her. Estaria raised an eyebrow, but before she could say anything, the halls retreated from her vision, there was the feeling of being thrust many leagues, and then she landed in her body. Awake, and alive. And confused. She was sure she was dead, but after the axe the whole thing got a bit confusing. And now she wasn’t dead. Maybe she wasn’t actually dead and the axe just hurt a lot, and then she had hallucinations.

    Sitting up, there were people around her, some groaning in pain, others silent as the grave. This gathering must have been the after action pile, were people were placed so they could be looked over by the medics. However, her mind was drawn to something that was hovering in the air.

    Welcome to the tutorial, Player. To begin, please give the mental command ‘Status Screen’

    A luminescent box floated in the sky, and was filled with words. Words she could read, but make no sense of.
    ‘Mental Command? It wants me to….think it maybe? But...what even is it?’ Estaria stared at it for several moments before reaching out, and touching the box. It was a physical thing, her finger could feel it, and yet it moved with her eyes. After poking it a few times and looking around to have it follow her head no matter how fast she moved it, Estaria let out a sigh and could no longer put it off. ‘Status Screen’ she tried, a slight nervousness to her though.

    But, it turned out to be the correct way to do things because the box vanished and was replaced with a new, larger box. It was filled with details, but only the top bit was illuminated, the bit highlighting her name, ‘Estaria’. The rest was shaded, not so she couldn’t see it, but enough to bring attention to the name. Hesitantly, she reached out and tapped it, and a new box appeared, separate from the large detail-filled box.

    Estaria Zashira. Daughter of Karl Zashira and Emi Zashira. 28 years old

    It was interesting to see a strange box know who her family was and how old she was. And also a little creepy. She tapped the new box and it disappeared, and then a new box replaced it, giving her some more information, albeit to late.

    This is the Status Screen. This is a screen where you can see your status

    Estaria gave the box a Scathing glare as it made such an obvious statement. And once she had done trying to intimidate illuminated floating boxes, she carried on reading.

    Here you can see your name, title, rank, Job, Level, Health, Luck and Special Resource (Cool) in the first box

    Each of the lines of the box were lit up against a dark background to bring Estaria’s attention to them as she read them. So clearly, some mental connection with this thing beyond being able to call it up and down. She read what was lit up when it was lit up, and
    was somewhat confused. “Estaria Zashira. (Blank title). Captain. (Blank Job). Level 1”. Confused at the blank spots with Title and Job, she touched them both, and got two boxes.

    Title - an acknowledgement of deeds done within the system. Grants bonuses related to the deed
    Job - The designation of one’s skill focus. More jobs open as the player levels up

    Estaria had assumed that is how the system referred to her. As a, Player. As if this was a game of dice. But, not having a title or a job made more sense now, since they were deeds done while having this strange thing, and she had not had this strange thing for more than a few moments. And then she pressed the special resource. This, “cool”.

    Cool - The ability to remain calm and level-headed, the spending of this resource allows the use of supernatural feats of dexterity and precision

    Certainly lived up to it’s name. Supernatural feats of dexterity and precison did sound like something she’d like to be doing. But curiosity was still abound, so she let it continue with it’s explanation.

    Your stats are in the second box, separated into nine headings. Strength, Stamina, Constitution, Dexterity, Agility, Precision, Intelligence, Wisdom, Luck. Skills may be increased with stat points earned from quests and leveling up, or training

    Estaria looked over them for a few moments, and then nodded softly. They were basically numerical designations of a person’s abilities. Most were a moderate 10, where as Dexterity and Precision were a hearty 20.

    Finally, the bottom box details your stat points, your money, and the xp to next level, as well as any Traits. When you have finished, use the Status Screen mental command, to close it

    She had 0 stat points, a handful of coins, and 0% xp to the next level. As one would expect, you couldn’t jump into a game half-way through. Even a most strange game like this…The one thing that was there was a trait, called “Powder-Child”. She could guess, but decided to get the game to tell her what it meant, and so pressed it.

    Powder-Child - The fascination of firearms is deeply ingrained, and skill follows such fascination. Gain +20% range and +10% damage with blackpowder weaponry

    That, was very numerical. She didn’t know weapons had range and damage, but maybe this system was affecting more than just herself. Maybe it was affecting the entire world...staring into the sky for a few moments, she got herself back on track.
    ‘Status Screen’ she thought, closing the screen and getting a new box.

    Basic Tutorial complete. New quest gained: Arrive At Middenhiem

    It hovered there till she tapped it, at which point it vanished and sanity returned. No more hovering boxes. Plus, it had given her a quest that was basically what she was doing in the first place. She could get used to those kind of quests. “Quest, wake up” “Quest, eat breakfast” “Quest, blink”. She’d ascend to Godhood in no time. But, thoughts of ascension were going to wait, for no she was going to go out and see what the world was up to around her. So she stumbled to her feet, feeling a little stiff but certainly not like someone had just stuck an axe in her chest, and went out. Finding Sargent Borrago - Borrago Beast Eater, as he was known from one expedition having supply issues and he suggested the idea of supplementing them with the Beastmen that came to raid - she gave him a wave.

    Estaria was always amazed with Borrago. She wondered how a man could grow as tall as a Norscan and expand even wider than one and still be a jolly man from The Empire. His patchwork face, more scar tissue than actual face, belied his temperament, and he was an all round excellent Sargent to have. Some new recruits would look at his rotund body and pass him off as a fat noble who bought his way in, until Borrago outran them in the track and outfenced them in the field.

    “Captain! I win!” He boomed, walking over to her. He did not move with the grace of a courtier, or the lithe stride of a Master Swordsman, but rather the inexorable nature of an avalanche. Everything about Borrago was Bigger. He had spent a small fortune on the custom-sized armour and weaponry he had to fit his meaty physique, and it repaid him three fold in the field. There were few sights more enjoyable than Borrago bludgeoning an Ork to death with his shield, or him using his cannon-esque pistol to put a fist-sized hole in a Chaos Warrior’s shield and breastplate.

    “And what is this that you win, Borrago?” Estaria asked, eyeing the rest of the camp. They had recovered well from the fight, and with the help of the surviving villagers, normalcy had returned and the train had broke early for dinner to tend the wounds, gather the loot and burn or bury the bodies.
    “A Shilling! Someone thought you were dead, and I said it was not something you have the temperament to undergo. So there was a bet made and here you stand!”
    “Mmm, I certainly felt Morr’s cold fingers beckoning me to the grave. And then I punched him in the face and came back. Far to busy to die” She gave him a grin, and then wandered about the rest of the camp with him, to oversee people’s actions and show she was still alive.
    “Have you ever been to Middenheim, Borrago?” Estaria asked, looking up at the big man.
    “My father took me on a journey to the great Temple of Ulric there once. And by the Wolf did it work! He was like five men after that day, in all he did. Even dying!” Borrago let out a laugh at the last, honouring his father’s memory with jublience rather than despair. Estaria raised an eyebrow, glad for conversation to distract her from thoughts of the strange system that still lingered on her mind. Why was it there, what was its purpose. Its secrets?
    “I never knew you were a worshipper of Ulric. I thought most people from Reikland worshipped Sigmar” Estaria was one of the small percentage of people to follow Ulric, the God that Sigmar worshipped, above Sigmar. As one would follow the Rieiksmarshall over a Captain.
    “My Grandfather came down here on a job, part of the White Wolf mercenary unit. It was here that he met my Grandmother, and they had a few years of adventure before he retired to raise a family. And he worshipped Ulric, as did my father and as do I” he spoke with great pride, and it made Estaria smile. Few these days were as proud of their religion as they were of their finances. And a few were dangerously fanatical, risk to all that surrounded them. Borrago occupied the happy medium.

    “Well, I look forward to seeing it for myself. I feel that without first-hand experience like you, the worship of Ulric is diluted and different in the South. I may not recognize or be recognized by the Ulric priests when we arrive” She spoke, and then shook off such a dreary topic and waved him over to come get a hearty meal. THe night passed without incident, illuminated and warmed by the corpse-fires that the Norscans were burned upon. And in the morning, they carried on their journey. Further incident, was fortunately lacking, and so the arrival at Middenheim was prompt. Initially they were wary, as they were expecting an army to lay siege and then a batallion appeared at their gates, but the acknowledgement of reinforcements rather than besiegers was swift and Estaria got her men inside the fortress-city with good speed. Her curiosity over what was going to happen was answered quickly as a luminous popup box appeared.

    Quest completed! - 200 xp rewarded. New tutorial available

    Estaria read and then closed the box, and opened the status screen, seeing that she was 40% of the way to next level. A most generous reward, but she was at the very bottom. Rewards were generous at the bottom, and equal effort gave reduced accomplishment as a person grew. The heroic deeds of a private were the expected duty of a Greatswordsman. It would be a few hours before she was obligated to go to the other military leadership in this city, and so she tapped the new tutorial on her status screen, and was greeted with a new box.

    Welcome to the Combat Tutorial. To begin, please proceed to the training ground

    She was then even given a cute little map, highlighting her position, and the position of the training ground. Following the guide, she got there in good time, and saw quite the field of dummies. Several were occupied by those either running punishment drills or having the ambition to ascend the ranks, but there were plenty free, so she walked up to one. It spawned a red bar above it’s head when she got close, and a small numerical value at the end of this bar. It’s name, ‘Training Dummy’ was white.

    This is a basic enemy, or Mook. It has just a health bar and no special abilities. Every hit will reduce the health, and the Mook shall die when the health hits 0. Kill the mook

    Estaria thought it was pretty simple. It was just giving numericals to your average fight. There was nothing strange about it, so she drew her blade and struck the ‘torso’ of the dummy. Most of the health dropped, but it required a second strike for the health to be depleted and a luminescent “40 xp” sprung up from the training dummy. Which was good. The dummy seemed to sag for a few seconds before the health returned to full and the damage she had done vanished. That, was definitely magic, and Estaria stared at it for many seconds, before killing the dummy again - getting a Free training, please follow quest instructions to continue popup as she did - and watching it. The damage did just repair itself. Nobody else seemed to notice, so she decided to do some more noticable damage.

    Taking her sword to it’s neck, she struck with all her might, hacking the double-strike needed to ‘kill’ the dummy and taking most of it’s head off so it hung by a string. Stepping back, she waited a few seconds and the head put itself back on. She stared around, but nobody seemed to be even looking in her direction, let alone seeing the crazy regenerating dummy. One final kill to ensure she really wasn’t just seeing things, and it was confirmed. Regenerating dummies. Well, ok then.

    Now that was out of the way, Estaria was curious about this level up system, and so struck, struck and struck again, killing one dummy while the other regenerated until she got a ping sound inside her head, and a new popup box covered the passive-aggressive please follow quest instructions to continue box.

    You have leveled up. Main attribute increased by 2, other attributes increased by 1

    Looking at the Status Screen, she could see the results. Precision, her apparent Main attribute, was now 22. The rest were 11. Her health, luck, and cool had increases slightly as well, and her level was now 2. She didn’t feel any different, but two shillings was hardly any more than one shilling, that was to be expected. Finally getting back to the tutorial, it directed her across the training ground to a different dummy. This was a larger thing, and looked altogether more robust. It’s name ‘Elite Training Dummy’ was white, with the Training Dummy’s name being a dull grey. A yellow bar was underneath the red bar, but it’s number was considerably smaller than the red bar’s number.

    This is an advanced enemy, or Elite. It has a small Luck bar to protect it from direct strikes, and more health and better stats than a Mook, often possessing damage-reducing armour. Kill the Elite

    Estaria looked at this bigger dummy, and nodded to herself. This was your average Chaos Warrior as opposed to a simple Norscan Tribesman. She threw a strong blow at the dummy, but it was off somehow and only glanced the dummy, barely grazing it. Cursing softly, she looked up, sure it would have done little damage to the thing. But instead, the vast majority of it’s luck bar depleted, down to a two digit number. Then it hit her. Luck protected from direct strikes. There was no doubt that this system was manipulating reality outright now, turning aside blows that would damage the target when it still had luck. The Luck statistic must have increased this Luck bar, making it harder to hurt you.

    Grinning at this, she unleashed a second blow sharp and hard, reducing the luck to 0 and taking a decent amount of health off.

    When a strike will do more damage than you have luck, the rest will be taken off health. Armour reduces damage done to health, to a minimum of 10% damage

    The system, while crazy and reality-bending, seemed to be based in logic. Even the greatest of armour would still not mitigate the whole of the force. And there were tales of some legendary armour still being intact despite the wearer being dead. A few more blows had the training dummy sag, and a “80 xp” popped up. The elite dummies gave twice the exp of the basic mook dummies. But took more than twice the blows to fell. The luck and armour were difficult to get through. Finally, she was told to head to another dummy, which she did. This one was huge and imposing. She felt somewhat intimidated by a dummy.

    This is a master enemy, or Boss. It has a larger Luck bar than an Elite, and more health as well as more armour. It is liable to possess special abilities and has a Critical Wound slot. Kill the Boss

    Estaria wasn’t sure what a critical wound slot was, but it didn’t sound promising. Still, she got down to it, slicing at the Boss and watching it’s luck deplete. Some experimental side of her made her well...experiment. And so she swung lightly and knocked a chip off it’s luck, and then swung heavy and knock a chunk off it’s luck. The strength of the blow was what judged how much strength was knocked off. But with the automiss system that was around Luck, made it somewhat dangerous to throw a hammer blow while luck was still up, it could put you off balance. So she decided to be more cautious while attacking luck, and only throw down when it was all gone.

    When the luck was gone and the first strike took off some health, the dummy suddenly swung round and grazed her head, her luck bar diminishing some as the attack was absorbed. In response, she got a popup.

    This enemy possesses a Counter-Attack trait. Every time it takes health damage, there is a chance of immediate retaliation. THis may be blocked or avoided as normal attacks.

    Which, would have been something to know before the start of the fight, damn thing. But there was no point now, she just got her shield up and struck with the blade, keeping a watchful eye on any attack, and catching it on her shield when it did come. Apparently Luck didn’t kick in when you were intent to block it. Maybe it only happened when you missed the block? Either way, she eventually managed to bring it down to 0 health, at which point a small skull appeared next to the health and it’s luck and health went back up some.

    Once a Boss loses all it’s health, it suffers a Critical Wound, reducing it’s stats and opening it up to be killed. Stronger bosses have more Critical Wound slots. Stat-dependant traits will be disabled if they drop below the required number

    Estaria thought for a moment, and nodded. It was like the last desperate gasp of a dying man. She had seen it in combat, where a man was severely wounded, and yet suddenly flushed with zeal and passion, driving on to make his death as glorious as he could manage. So Estaria obliged, chipping it’s luck away before smashing it’s head off with one tunderous blow!

    The exp then came after that kill. 250 xp was the reward. And a “Boss token” going into the Inventory.

    Congratulations on defeating the boss. It has granted you loot, in the form of a Boss Token. This may be exchanged for rewards in the shop. To find your Boss token, open the Status Screen

    Estaria read it, and wondered where this Boss Token was. She hadn’t received it, only heard of it. Still, she opened her Status Screen, and a tab at the top of the box was lit up. “Inventory” it said, so Estaria tapped on it, and was given a whole new box. It was a mirror image of her, with boxes across her body. One on her head, one on her neck, one on her torso, two on each of her arms, one on her legs, and one on her feet. All were filled except the head box. And below it, were thirty-some boxes, twenty nine of them empty, and an ornate badge occupying the first box, with a small “1” in the corner. Tentatively reaching out to touch it, a second box popped up suddenly, making Estaria take a step back. There were several things in this box. Some money, a title, something called “Stat Potion” and other oddities. They had a small picture of the badge and a number next to them, assumingly the number of badges required to buy it, as only the top one with a small “1” was lit up, the others were grey.

    Not sure if she wanted to spend the boss token or not, she decided that if they were important, she’d just kill the boss dummy again to get a new one. So she pressed the top button, and got a new, small box.

    You exchanged 1 Boss Token for 300 gold. Quickly followed byYou have gained gold. The Shop is now open after she shut the first one down. The Shop was interesting. Was she going to buy fake things with fake money? The third tab Shop was now lit up, and she tapped it, getting a new box that filled her eyes with items. Too many to read, and most beyond her money finances. Still, she was curious, and so bought herself a bag of 20 bullets for 100 gold, which got transferred to her inventory. Navigating to her inventory, the bag was there, with the little “20” below it, but touching it, she got an option to Withdraw which filled her with curiosity. The button was pressed, and her eyes were filled with wonder as a bag of twenty bullets and powder charge was dropped into her hands. Nobody and nothing in this world could create something so permanent from nothing. This new system was disturbingly powerful if it could create a seemingly unlimited supply of bullet out of imaginary currency. She could arm entire batallions with an endless supply of bullets and powder, and they wouldn’t need to be anywhere near supply trains or cities to restock. The consequences were mind-boggling.

    But her mind boggling was put on hold when a new box came up, detailing a new tutorial.

    Welcome to the advanced combat tutorial. Please proceed to the firing range

    They were words that Estaria could get behind. Firing Range was her kind of thing. Even if her Captaincy was mostly relegating her to a pistol to keep her on the front lines - there were some Handgunner Captains, but they were mostly not well regarded from their lack of frontline leading, a man wanted to look to his side and see his commander, not have to look a hundred paces behind him - she liked to keep her skill with firearms sharp. So she could command the Handgunners with skill and wield her own with precision. While on her way to the firing range, she decided to check on the inventory, to see what she could learn about her pistol. It was hard to walk and read with the luminescent box, but she managed it well enough.

    Her pistol, was an interesting thing. Damage was given and then a new damage in brackets from her Powder Child trait. And then range, bracketed range, and two traits. Blackpowder and Imprecise. The two traits read;

    Blackpowder - Dangerous speed and exceptional penetration, blackpowder weaponry are great at laying low most targets. Deals 50% more Luck damage and ignores 20% of armour.

    Imprecise - This weapon is now made with accuracy in mind or uses an imprecise firing system to make itself work. The projectile will land anywhere within a circle surrounding the intended target (The Precision stat reduces the size of this circle, and is modified by range)

    It was good to hear they did extra luck damage. She could use them to rake an Elite of it’s luck before closing in to melee. Getting to the firing range, she was glad she bought the bullets, because there were not that many free bullets to get some practice in. The targets in the distance were the same as usual, one a dull grey, one white, and one orange. The orange being big and intimidating. But at this distance, with a pistol in her hand, that was no worry.

    Subtargetting: with ranged weaponry, you may pick a specific body part to target. Each body part has it’s own health and when targeted;

    Head - difficult to hit, but has moderate hp and will kill or give a Critical Wound to the target when it’s health is depleted, regardless of the remaining Total Health.
    Torso - The easiest, but highest health body part on a person, the most effort is required to reduce this to zero, but will kill or give a Critical Wound to the target when it’s health is depleted, regardless of remaining Total Health.
    Arms - Low health, reducing the arm to zero causes it to be unable to use anything grasped in this arm. Two-handed weapons receive mallus to their damage
    Legs - Low health, reducing the leg to zero will half the speed at which the target is able to move, and may cause them to stumble and fall if charging

    Total Health is the combined health of all limbs. If Subtargetting is not used, then the projectile will not damage a bodypart, but instead deal damage to total health. If limb damage exceeds remaining Total Health, the target will die regardless of limb health.

    This, was certainly befitting of the name “Advanced training”. But, she could grasp it’s concept. Target either a specific point, or as a whole. Specific point would be harder, as a whole less hard. Cocking the hammer of her pistol, she stuck her round through the mook dummies head, killing it in a single shot. She knew what the quest was asking without even reading the pop-up. Kill one of each. She reloaded the pistol, and then stuck a bullet through the Elite Dummy’s head. Between Blackpowder, and the moderate health of the head, Emily killed it in a single shot, and then reloaded and aimed at the Boss’ head. Strong batch of luck despite Blackpowder, and would take a Critical Wound before dying. Still….Boom went the pistol, and crack went the bullet into the Boss’ head. It drained the luck to the dregs and did a small amount of damage to the head, but needed a second round. The high Precision she had must have been helping her not fall foul of Inaccurate. Her eyes were invaded by another sight before she could reload however.

    Hidden quest complete!
    Headshot Mook dummy: 1/1
    Headshot Elite dummy: 1/1
    Headshot Boss dummy: 1/1

    Accept Rewards? (Sharpshooter Token)

    If the Boss Token was anything to go off, this Sharpshooter token would be interesting to see what it offered as a reward. Still, she decided to finish up here before checking that shop. No telling if luck Regenerated in battle or not. So another round was taken and then a third to kill it off after the Critical Wound. Which was understandable, she had seen some of the Chaos Warriors rush through three rounds before. Second one had her over a barrel with the Imprecise making her miss his head, but third one hit clean and took him out. Then, she looked to the quests to get this sharpshooter token, and saw a change.

    Hidden quest complete!
    Headshot Mook dummy: 1/1
    Headshot Elite dummy: 1/1
    Headshot Boss dummy: 2/1

    Accept Rewards? (Sharpshooter Token)

    It intrigued her, that these quests started counting beyond the limit. So reloading her pistol again, she aimed at the regenerated mook Dummy, and cleaned it’s clocks. Interestingly, she wasn’t watching the xp pop up first time, and this time the mook came up at 20 xp. Did ranged kills reduce the xp? She looked to the Elite dummy, and that too was now a dull grey. Frowning, she opened her status screen and looked over stats, seeing her level was level 3. Huh, she must have missed that with the spam of her quest and now this hidden quest and her interest over the sharpshooter token. A new thing, was the Trait point at the bottom just above Powder-Child. Hitting Spend Trait Point opened up yet a new window, and she felt herself pretty cluttered, so shut down the quest windows and the other clutter so she wasn’t overwhelmed.

    Here, there wasn’t many things to look at. Only two traits were lit up, the rest were greyed out. One made her laugh. Powder Teen which was clearly an enhancement of Powder Child, and Religious Devotee. Curious, she tapped Religious Devotee, and got the new box.

    Religious Devotee - Devotion to the gods beyond the average peasant extracts more from their blessings than usual. +5 to stats while blessed

    It sounded cool, but she didn’t know how to get blessings of the gods, let alone how soon she’d get them. So instead she picked up Powder Teen, clicking the checkbox and then hitting the confirmation box.

    Powder-teen: Growing fascination and growing excellence makes firearms a most apt choice of arms. 30% increase to range, 20% increase to damage

    More range would help her with Precision and keeping inaccurate down. She experimented some more getting the headshots in, but it only went up to 2/1, never higher. So she killed herself two more of the dummies, one Elite and one Boss. Surprisingly, the boss did not drop a token either times. Apparently they were pretty low drop rates. Maybe she shouldn’t have blown it on cash. But at the same time, she’d not be able to fire off so many rounds without the 20 she had bought from the store. Even those were getting a bit dry. Firing range was finished for the day though, so she turned to the new quest and accepted the rewards.

    Hidden quest complete!
    Headshot Mook dummy: 2/1
    Headshot Elite dummy: 2/1
    Headshot Boss dummy: 2/1

    Rewards: (Sharpshooter Token) + (Random Box)

    Random Box was intriguing. So she went to it and opened it, getting a flurry of images before it slowed down to a picture reading “20 bullets”. Which was nice, she wouldn’t have to spend her gold on more bullets for later shooting. Next came the Sharpshooter token. Since there was only one of them, she could only get three things. One of them was 100 gold which made her think the Boss Tokens really were valuable. And the other two were 30 bullets or 10 Nuln-Forged Bullets. She knew exactly how valuable Nuln-Forged bullets were. Few, if any, places in The Empire could match Nuln, and only the Dwarves exceeded it. So they were selected, and kept stored away for a rainy day. Or a Chaos Day. The hordes were going to descend soon, and having these good quality bullets would go down well for popping heads off the leaders. She scanned through the list, paying only half attention to the handguns on show. She couldn't tempt herself by knowing she could get one. And then, she got to Four pistols. One for 60, one for 70, and one for 80 and the final one for 100. So they were pretty far off. But their names, made her drool.

    Micro-Mainspring of Multitudinous Precipitation of Pernicious Lead
    Sharpshooter's Micro-Mainspring of Multitudinous Precipitation of Pernicious Lead
    Nuln-Forged Micro-Mainspring of Multitudinous Precipitation of Pernicious Lead
    Dwarf-Crafted Micro-Mainspring of Multitudinous Precipitation of Pernicious Lead

    She recongized the name as the legendary repeater pistol given only to the most prestigious of the Nuln academy. Master Engineers and Steam Tank Commanders. Ohh, to have one of them, the only thing better would be a Nuln-forged Hochland Longrifle, and that was personal indulgence as it did not work with her Captaincy at all.

    Still, they were so far away, so she just shut it down. After that, she got a “congratulations on completing the tutorial” thing, 300 xp and 200 gold. She’d explore the store later, and since the xp hadn’t leveled her up, she shut down the Status Screen and headed off to meet the leaders of this place before finding a bed. Sleep was always welcome.
    Last edited by LillyanaKabal; January 17, 2019 at 05:39 AM.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 6,900 words)

    Chapter 2

    Sleep was easy, the meeting with the others had dragged on and painted a terrible picture. Nobody was sure when the horde would attack, but everyone was on guard for it. Some of the younger Captains, those who had bought a commission and had no experience, panicked and wanted to demand more reinforcements from the surrounding cities and counties. But then the Chaos Horde could just lay siege and Middenhiem would quickly starve to death from having an overstuffed population, far beyond what they could handle. Their inexperience had warred with more level heads, and then it became a shouting match of rank and privilege, nobleman against commander rather than a collection of military minds. Estaria welcomed the general dismissal when it came, and fled to eat and sleep. She wasn't a great captain but today she had shown herself that there were far worse out there, and what was worse, these incompetent brats were part of the command structure in a city about to be hit with a wave of savage violence.

    Morning brought its own surprise. A small box offering tips about enemy name colours, and something called a Daily Quest. Maybe, from the name, a quest that was held every day? She opened the tips box first.

    Enemies difficulty is rated in colour. Dull grey, means the enemy is far below your level, and you suffer
    -50% exp gain from these and reduced loot.

    That’d explain the 20xp instead of 40 that mooks gave in the firing ground.

    White indicates a minor level advantage, or equal level enemies. Orange, indicates a level disadvantage, with the shade of the orange indicating the depth of the disadvantage. Red, indicates a severe level disadvantage, requiring great skill and courage to emerge victorious. The shade of the red indicates the depth of severity. Black, indicates a legendary disadvantage, such that slaying these enemies will require a heroic display of skill and courage, and your name will go down in the myths of the world. But in all likelihood you will just die. Fighting an enemy of orange or higher grants extra experience and better chances at loot.

    Estaria read that, and then nodded softly. She wondered how it would affect her xp when the footmen of the chaos hordes were dull grey. She needed all the exp she could get if she was going to survive in this world, with Chaos coming down from the North and Norscans crossing the Sea of Claws, and other frightening tales. Still, she was glad to know what the colours represented, and now she could better gauge when a fight was beyond her and decide hightailing it was better than dying. Courage was good so long as it wasn’t unfounded and suicidal. And before she did the daily quest, she had something else to do first, so she got up and dressed, took care of her personal hygiene and then was out, walking with purpose and determination in the brisk morning air.

    Middenhiem was an exciting city to be in, so different from Altdorf she could spend weeks here. But that was only if the Chaos Horde took weeks to arrive, which was something she doubted. Doing some opportunistic sight-seeing, she arrived at where she was heading, the Great Temple of Ulric. Estaria wasn’t sure, but she thought it was the biggest temple to Ulric in the Empire. And as such, it had the greatest fire. Every Ulric temple had a flame, and it was heresy of the greatest magnitude to ever let the flame go out. But, she wasn’t away from the game system here, as she got a box as soon as she entered the ground.

    Entering Holy Ground. Open Offerings tab?

    Estaria knew she didn’t have any of them, but was curious about this thing, so opened it and was shown confirmation that she had no Offerings. But there was a button to open the Offerings Shop. Which she did, and was confronted with four items. Average offerings for 20gp, Anointed offerings for 200gp, Blessed offering for 2,000gp, and Holy offerings for 20,000gp. Estaria wasn’t sure where she would even get twenty thousand gold pieces from, because none of the quests had handed it out so far and the tokens sold cheaply in comparison. But, she did have enough money for the Anointed offerings, which sounded a lot better than the average offerings. She wasn’t going to be here again after the Chaos Horde, so might as well make a splash. She bought it, and then it slotted into her inventory with the icon of a handful of grass.

    At first, she pondered what to do with this, but decided to just fall back on what she knew. Throwing the offering into the great flame to honour Ulric. Withdrawing it, and getting a small, silk-wrapped box, she tossed it into the flame. It was consumed voraciously, and then she got a luminescent box pop up.

    Ulric’s Boon - +10 to Strength, +10 to Constitution. Lasts until replaced

    A grin blossomed, as she got free stats! Ok, they weren’t free and she could only get the blessing of one God, but still. Her strength and constitution were now nearly equal to her Precision, and her Precision was pretty good. Wondering what kind of changes that would make to her combat, she opened up the Daily Quests, and read them. Two small boxes, and several checkpoints greeted her.

    Physical Training:
    0/2 “Mook” Dummies killed (Melee)
    0/10 Sword Drill
    0/5km run

    Agility Training:
    0/2 “Mook” Dummies killed (ranged)
    0/1 Beam Walk

    Agility Training looked easier than Physical Training, but a Beam Walk was no joke. Plus, it was something you could fail, which made it harder than Physical Training. You could hardly fail at swinging a sword, and a run could be completed in stages. So she first headed off to the firing range, and success for that was simple. But, she wasn’t entirely sure where she would do a Beam Walk. Did they have that sort of thing here? Her map gave her some guidance, and she followed it, Eventually finding herself at what looked to be an obstacle course. Completely empty, but without any gate or door to bar her entrance. Figuring she had nothing to lose, she went up to the Beam, got on top of it, and then her mind wandered off into how she really needed to get her breastplate into the blacksmith to repair that hole that had been made from the axe. And her shield to boot. And while her stuff was in the blacksmith, she might as well get her sword touched up.

    Her mind drifting away was the worst thing she could do, as she slipped from the beam and crashed into a pile of leaves. Her luck meter reduced from the fall damage - Environment did damage as well as direct, it seemed - and she felt that pile of leaves was only there because she had a luck meter. Shaking her head to clear it of all them thoughts but also putting them away to be done with later, she got back up on the Beam and cleared it with only a bit of wobble and one near-fall before she got to the other side and the quest updated with her completion. Balance wasn’t something she was great at but it wasn’t something she was terrible at either. You didn’t get promoted to Captain by being terrible at things. Except reading, she still couldn't read. Which… she read the text on the luminescent boxes a question. But it did manipulate reality on a grand scale and could telepathically communicate with her. Maybe the words were getting sent into her brain and so her ability to read them was rendered moot.

    Basic Agility Training Complete - 1 stat point gained to spend between Dexterity, Agility, Precision.

    Estaria pondered that. It was pretty decent to get from a daily quest. Added to level up and training, the possibility of getting 100 stats in something if she trained every day for a few months was enticing. Dropping the one into Agility to make the Beam walk later a bit easier, shen then thought a bit. Not getting any more bullets from it, would mean she needed to get them from a different source to be sustainable….then it occurred to her. The Hidden Quest was...Hidden. There was nothing to say it wasn’t daily until it popped up as finished. So Estaria quickly headed over to there, her Physical Training amusingly getting a 0.3km/5km on the run quest. Here at the firing range, she took headshots at the Elite and then the boss. Powder Teen did good increase on damage, so bullets weren’t expended as quickly. On the hit to the Boss, the hidden quest did indeed pop up.

    Hidden quest complete!
    Headshot Mook dummy: 2/1
    Headshot Elite dummy: 1/1
    Headshot Boss dummy: 1/1

    Cracking a grin, she took the other two - Precision rolling badly and spending two shots on the Boss, so it ended with the other tree - shots and then got her medal and her random box, and the final boss got her a level up. Probably the last one for a while since Elites were a dull grey now and Bosses were barely orange at all. Rolling it, she got something helpful but not what she was wanting. An ‘Engineer’s Maintenance Kit’. Inside were good quality rags, tools for disassembling and reassembling, some nice looking oil, and finely crafted brush. The case itself was even a nice leather. A girl could keep a gun in near pristine condition for years with this kind of kit. Serviceable condition without any oil. Didn’t solve her bullet problem, but she had enough for a few days. And if worse came to it, she could buy some with her tokens. Next, was off to the Physical Training. Kill two mooks, run 2km and do a 10-swing drill with the sword. It sounded easy, so she got down to it.

    The mooks fell like wheat, with her Ulric’s blessing giving her hearty damage increases to her melee. Then, she did the ten swings, which were of a different sort swing and so didn’t count from those that killed the mook dummies. It would be quite the monotony to do all this every day, but that is how a person got fit. And looking at Borrago, there were certainly benefits to being a person of robust physicality. One thing, however, was both interesting and annoying. After the 10th swing, she got a popup box telling her about her Fatigue. It was “25%, consider resting”. Which wasn’t very high, so she would consider it later, and headed to the track.

    There, she found some others doing a run as well. She had thought she was up early enough for it to be empty, but these looked more veteran soldiers and so they would be getting in their work early before their duties began. And among them, was Borrago. Of course, he wasn’t a big guy like he was from just messing about in the dinner hall. So Estaria went over and joined them on the run, thinking it wouldn’t be difficult since she was a Captain, and had been doing this war thing for a few years.

    However, she had underestimated it quite considerably. Running like this was a much different exercise to a march or a fight, and so she got a rapid pop-up telling her her fatigue had hit 50% . Rather than give in and admit defeat, she couldn’t let herself be seen like a woman that would do such a thing in front of her men, and so pushed on, running with them as hard as she could. Half way through this, she got a message telling her her stamina had gone up from extensive training, which was always welcome, but not enough to hold off the next box of “Fatigue 75% - Stats have been halved”. This sucked. Really...really….really...and then it was done.

    Fatigue at 95%, ready to collapse and just sleep forever, she got the one attribute point and quickly slammed it into Stamina. Borrago walked over with a laugh and handed her a drink, which she took with relish and downed to the dregs.
    “Any reason you decided to come join us on the track?” he asked as Estaria just gave up on standing and fell to the floor.
    “Gotta get the points” she murmured, too tired to remember that nobody else could see her status screen.
    “Ambition! Ha, well now is the best place to have it. I myself want to be a Captain, so I can go home to my mother and see her beam with pride!” He had a passionate voice while telling Estaria his goals. And it made her smile, and sit up. Stamina increased fatigue recovery rate as well as it increased max fatigue, so it was slowly draining down the sink hole.
    “For now, we should just look to saving our asses from this coming Norscan horde. Then we can think about ambition. Speaking of, I need to get to the Blacksmith. The last guy I met didn’t do me any favours” she nodded to Borrago, got up, and slowly ambled off to her room. Her sword, shield and armour was recovered, and given the option, she decided against storing them in her inventory. It would be weird to explain that to the blacksmith. And some actual real money to pay the man with. All her preparations done, Estaria headed off and got her stuff repaired, before spending most of the remainder of the day snoozing to recuperate. Ulric, that run was a monster.
    Last edited by LillyanaKabal; January 17, 2019 at 05:39 AM.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 9000 words)

    I thought "Are we going to do the entire Middenheim siege on one post?" and then thought no. So here is the start.

    Chapter 3

    The next few days were hard days. Her stamina wasn’t increasing fast enough to let her make the run easy, only progressively less grueling. Every point went into Stamina, and it was work out enough to get 20 by the end of the week. At the start of the new week, however, it was nice to survive the run without collapsing. Her armour had been repaired, and had figured out a handy-dandy new system for selling things that she got from the random box. As was the case with the second care kit. Nearly the case with the second pistol, but she decided it was better to have a backup and a secondary for when she needed to pop a few rounds off, or couldn’t reload. The “Huntsman’s Rifle” that she got from the box, quite clearly the jackpot with all the fanfare, was more questionable. It might have a good price tag but rifles were rare and hard to come by in the world, so maybe it would do better with an in-world selling. And then it came. In the early morning, just as she was finishing up her Agility Daily and preparing for the Physical, the alarm bells were rung, and Middenhiem exploded into action. The Chaos Horde, had been spotted. A few seconds after she heard the bells, she saw the pop-up, informing her about a new thing.

    Horde Battles - dealt with differently to personal fights, Horde Battles are large armies pitted against each other where you play a part, rather than being the focal point as with Personal Fights. Exp is gained collectively, and then delivered to all participants. You gain 50% of the exp for things you kill, and 50% is delivered to a pot to be dispersed between all surviving participants at the end. Loss of the Horde Battle will half the total pot.

    It sounded interesting - and opened another can of worms that people around her could gain experience, but that was a can for some time when she wasn’t about to deal with a crushing tide of bodies - and rewarding. With the crazy amount of numbers out there, even if she had to share it with everyone in Middenheim, Estaria would still be looking at a good harvest. If they won. If she survived. Looking up to the walls, seeing Cannons and Mortars prepped and readied, ammo barrels hauled and loaded. Seeing men rush to the armory and retrieve handguns, which were checked and cleaned before taking up posts on the walls. Seeing grizzled veterans, devout followers of Ulric and men with years of combat experience behind them, gear up and get ready for the coming wave. It was easy to think that Middenheim was nut to hard to crack. But that would just be a lie told to herself to ease her away from the harsh truth that this could be the end for so many of Sigmar’s Sons. And the end of the greatest Fortress in The Empire. Talabaheim could contest, but if Middenheim fell, it would lead the whole Nordland, Middenland and Ostland on the Middenheim-side of the great River Riek open for Chaos raiders.

    Not entirely sure what to do with herself, her men were foreign to this city and so other captains were guiding them where they needed to be, she wandered into the Quartermaster to see if he needed anything. Her supply gathering abilities with her gold were limited, but a hundred bullets and powder could be the difference between another volley and running dry. And a good volley could shred a battleline.
    “How are supplies looking?” she asked him, not quite dressed the part for her Captaincy, but this was not the situation where he could chase out helpful looking people.
    “Well. I am still trying to figure out how you populate the firing range so prolifically every day and yet there is no shot or powder missing or signed out. The supplies you brought with you were loaded and reported on the day you arrived”

    So it seemed that the game didn’t make people forget discrepancies with logic of the game-to-real-world conversion. The idea of getting rich of trying to sell off stuff she bought in the shop went down in flames pretty quick. She had no idea what the conversion rate was anyway. Could be that she set herself to a loss, buying bullets from the shop and selling them in the world.

    “Magic stuff and also things” She said vaguely, giggling softly to herself. The quartermaster just grunted and nodded to the rack of weapons.
    “We are down a few rifles, but other than that we have enough to keep everything on it’s toes. We will grasp victory or defeat by our own merit, and not by a lack of equipment” he nodded, and then got back to his paperwork. Estaria thought for a few moments, and then bit her lip. One rifle in a horde wouldn’t make a great deal of difference, but at the same time, it just might. Better to be safe than sorry.

    “One of our riflemen was hurt in the attack on the Norscans. He’s been trying to smooth out the damage, but eventually came to realize that it’s not happening anymore. So you can have this” Estaria lied, but what was she going to do? Tell him that a flowing box gave her a random item every day if she did a quest and that random item was this rifle? What an elaborate trick to play of a poor quartermaster.
    “Ahh, poor guy. Stick the rifle on the rack and we’ll get it to a man who can use it” the Quartermaster ordered. Estaria did such, and then left, to her barracks. It was filled with people who had the same idea as she did. Everyone who had semblance of weapons training was gearing up for this one. The horde demanded nothing less, after all. Donning her armour, her sword and shield, and the two pistols, she went to the walls. Assisting menials in fetching and carrying until the preparations were complete. And, then, in the dusky glow, they came to see the Norscan horde in it’s full enormity.

    She had no idea where so many people had come from, but it was a true showcase of the scale of the Invasion. This amount of Norscans would require a massive fleet of longboats to come across the Sea Of Claws...Or maybe the did not all come at once. Maybe this was a collection of all Norscans and all Trolls that had come to raid and pillage and take advantage of Kislev’s weakened state and The Empire’s distracted nature. Archeon was a definite distraction for most people. The throbbing chant of ten thousand voices in unison was an unnerving one, one that could easily put fear into the hearts of men were it not for these men being Ulric’s men. Men who manned the walls of Middenheim, greatest city in The Empire. Many cities would claim the same, but Estaria would support Middenheim’s claim for that title.

    Borrago strode the walls, his thunderous voice competing with the distant chants. He might lose out when they got closer, but for now he was doing a grand job in competing with the initial conflict. Out of the gloom, she could see that they had been preparing for this attack, with troll-wielded rams, several dozen ladders and a ramshackle but functioning siege tower. That, would have to go first. The others would deal damage to the gate and would allow Norscans to assault the walls, but the siege tower would disgorge a venerable horde and give them a boon that Middenheim could ill afford. So Estaria strode over to one of the mighty emplaced cannons - greater than field cannons for they did not have to be pulled - and took command. Even with her Powder Teen perk, they were out of range, but they would move in soon, and when they did, she would stick a ball in through the front of the tower and see it fall.

    While waiting for the range, she saw a new box pop up. One that told her about a class of enemy called “Monster”.

    Monsters have no luck bars or critical wounds, but possess unique traits such as scales and fiery breath and regeneration, as well as considerable armour and great amounts of hitpoints. Care must be taken when engaging a Monster, for they are a superior foe to any human of equal level.

    The Trolls having no luck bar would be nice, but they were Trolls, which meant she had to take them down quickly or they would regenerate. Fortunately, Estaria was witness to a new man climbing the stairs to get atop the walls. A man of orange hair and orange clothes, carrying a brazier staff and three sets of keys, he smelled of burned clothes and singed hair, but still he seemed the most energetic and most elated person on the wall. Passion and Violence mingled closely to make this Bright Wizard a most spectacular sight. By his left, came a great man wielding a great axe. She had seen him when she went to the Temple of Ulric to pray, and this Warrior Priest was a grand match for the Warrior Priest that had been attached to Estaria’s own retinue. The pair of them would be as the Ghal Muraz against the invaders. Estaria just hoped their faith would hold to the end. Seeing one fall was never a good sign, nor was it ever taken easily.

    A minute later, the army was close by, and Estaria was preparing the Cannon, when a large patch of the field outside of Middenhiem caught fire. The entire army was lit up, as bright as day, and the gunners - less than she expected, but this was Middenhiem, it would show it’s value in the melee - had a clear line of sight to take shots. The Norscan horde also had a giant inferno to navigate around, hampering their effectiveness. Two birds with one giant flame. Gotta love the Bright Wizards. And with that, Estaria ranged the cannon, and then gave it an order to fire.

    There was a second’s hesitation while the gunner thought about what was happening. She wasn’t his commander, but she was a Captain of The Empire. And so there was a boom of cannon fire. Maybe it was because she was aiming it and sighting it in or something and the gunner was just putting match to bangy-bit, but the cannon benefitted from her Precision, and the ball flew with great precision, smashing through the tower’s face and causing a great groaning of overburdened wood before it collapsed in on itself. A more well-crafted tower may have survived, but this was was knocked together by angry nomads. So quality, was questionable.

    Lack of siege tower didn’t mean the horde was harmless however. There was still thousands of them, trolls and norscans both. There were enough ladders to cover every inch of the walls, and the rams could still shatter the gates, as solid as they were. Biggest problem solved didn’t immediately solve every problem. And so Estaria got up from the cannon, and turned back to the walls themselves. It was going to be a hell of a fight.
    Last edited by LillyanaKabal; January 17, 2019 at 05:40 AM.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 9000 words)

    Hello Lillyana!

    I'm a complete newbie when it comes to the warhammer universe, so I saw your thread, saw 9000 words, and I thought, hey, maybe I could use this for an intro. I'll give you the comments as I read the chapters/posts.

    The first post was pretty good. Estaria seems like a woman who doesn't like resting on her laurels, preferring action to command. I particularly enjoyed your description of the battle, it was very intense and vivid. A little weird that Estaria would charge at Zarh without firing a shot first, given his intimidating appearance, but I can attribute that to her zealousness to fight, and perhaps rage at seeing her allied greatswordsman fall.

    You say you're the idiot for posting this, but I say if even one other person managed to enjoy reading it, you would have done really well already. Even if not many people comment, you'll know there are people out there who are reading and enjoying this story (view count). After all, if you're going to write it, might as well let other people read, enjoy, and comment on it, eh? So thanks for putting this up, I'll be sure to check back and read the rest of the chapters soon!

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  8. #8

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 10896 words)

    Thanks for the review! Estaria didn't shoot him because continuity error. Originally she did shoot him and his armour deflected the bullet, but I wanted the cool scene where she smashed him with the greatsword and so I put the greatswordsman in there and then just sorta forgot she had a loaded shot. It was a derp, I could fix but yea. It's interesting to show her less than level headed moments to try give her a humanising factor. Call it Battle-Brain, where the heat of the situation gets in the way of making logical decisions. A reason why some generals don't get involved in the fight, so they can maintain the clear-headed need to command. And others are just such steely bastards that steel and blood are not enough to shake them even a single step. I am a glutton for comments. I need self-assurance that people are reading it and liking it. So even if my work tops 1,000 views, I get nervous and spooked that it's lost people's interest. It is something Alwyn and earlier, Dance, were good at negating. I am glad you enjoyed it. I shall get more up. Siege of Middenheim is up next. Haven't started writing it though, so might be a few days.

    Also using this as an intro could be, a little difficult. It's written with the assumed knowledge of what goes on, and while you can glean things from the writeup, other things are lost. Bright Wizards are obviously Pyromancers, but what the keys he has mean, or what Warrior-Priests mean beyond the obvious naming can be lost on a new person. Feel free to ask in thread or dm me any questions if you want. Or read wikis. There is a great Fantasy one up that even I peruse from time to time. I got a Map Of The Empire saved to retain geographic accuracy.
    Last edited by LillyanaKabal; January 14, 2019 at 09:44 AM.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 10896 words)

    No worries, it is completely understandable. I myself make continuity errors sometimes, and I can see why Estaria would rush him anyway. I agree that generals who need to oversee the battle shouldn't fight, they need to make important, sometimes split second decisions and you can't do that while someone is trying to cleave you in two.

    Regarding the comments: I agree completely. Comments are a big motivating factor in writers continuing to write, but even if you only get a single comment in between a few chapters, I wouldn't get too disheartened, because there are many reasons why people don't comment. Even as an AARtist, I sometimes look around the forums without logging in, simply because I'm lazy to, though in the end I will always log in when I want to post a comment. I can tell you that most of your views will come from 'guests', and many of them don't want to register or just feel like reading and moving on without saying so. I guess what I'm trying to say is people are lazy Take heart in the fact that you've allowed people to enjoy your work, and even though that doesn't alleviate the craving for feedback and comments on its own, I find that the satisfaction you get from writing for others' reading pleasure can help.

    Ah, you see my problem. Even before reading this I was thinking (ooh, maybe I'll finally learn a thing or two about space marines...and then I put my head in my hands when I realize this isn't that warhammer. Don't worry, I may be a slow learner but I will get there in the end. Oh and a map? Is it possible for you to post it here?

    Also: Siege next huh? I love sieges, I'll have to catch up then!

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  10. #10

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 10896 words)

    Ohh, yea. This is Warhammer Fantasy, not Warhammer 40k. You'll find no Space Marines here. But you will find similarities. Also, teaser for the next chapter.

    "Ulric give me the fangs of the wolf!
    Ulric give me the claws of the wolf!
    Ulric give me the coat of the wolf!
    And I will show your enemies the mercy of the wolf!"

    Here, you can explore and get a grasp on the name-dropped locations.

  11. #11

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 10896 words)

    No! My space marines!

    Just kidding, I'm equally interested in warhammer fantasy. Didn't buy the total war game, but interested nonetheless. Map looks great, I'll be back when I've read the other chapters!

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  12. #12

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 10896 words)

    I thought 'Am I going to post most of the Middenheim siege in one chapter' and apparenly the answer was yep. Here we see Estaria is not yet the Hero. There are betters in the world than her. For now.

    Chapter 4

    Soon they were in range proper, and the roar of firepower was impressive, even with the lacking quantity compared to what you might find elsewhere, tradition warring with practicality and more harshly, the order of The Emperor to maintain a certain level of handguns. The order was given not to force them, but to give them an honourable way to balance the both, as the orders of a superior were held in great regard by the sons of Ulric, and none were superior to The Emperor. While a proper army could field twice as many handgunners and the same in bows, she wouldn’t be as confident in their line infantry than she would sitting here in Middenheim, Home Of The Wolf. Even now the Warrior Priest of Ulric was whipping the men up into a frenzy to match the Norscan’s, and Estaria felt drawn into it, feeling her own zeal for the fight grow as he howled.

    "Ulric give me the fangs of the wolf!
    Ulric give me the claws of the wolf!
    Ulric give me the coat of the wolf!
    And I will show your enemies the mercy of the wolf!"

    He was echoed by the men on the wall, and Estaria - recognizing the prayer from her own worship and glad it had not changed from North to South - joined her voice to the cacophony. Men bared teeth, howled, screamed and bashed their shields. And that was the men of The Empire. The average Altdorf peasant would see little difference between those of Middenhiem, and those of Norsca. And maybe the only difference was one’s geographical location. As Estaria finished her prayer, a box popped up in front of her.

    Touch of the Wolf - 20% increase in melee damage, +5 to strength, stamina, and constitution

    With this buff, she realized he wasn’t doing this for any morale reason, but was actually working the magic of his god like a true Warrior Priest. Drawing the eye of Ulric, so that all who prayed to him would receive his touch. It would be put to great use very soon, as they beasts closed in, unperturbed by fire raining down on them, and then the wall shuddered as the rams that the trolls were wielding smashed into the gate. Chunks of the gate splintered immediately, leaving holes that could be widened to man-sized with some spirited axe-work. The Trolls did not survive long enough to enjoy their victory however, as oil was poured down a hatch into them and the ground around them, brought instantly to a boil by the Bright Wizard. Deep, pained roars filled the air and the trolls fled, only to be turned into giant rampaging pyres as the bright wizard lit up the night, igniting the oil that covered the trolls.Seeing a large amount of their number killed by the hated fire, and seeing the night burning intensely, the remaining Trolls fled, feeling that no food was worth facing their greatest - and only - weakness. Screams fought the roaring fire, cries of eminent victory filled the air from the burning trolls, ane the crack of handgun and cannon filled every space that was left with an efficiency that surprised Estaria. She had thought them to be using such weaponry because they were told to, but maybe their pride made them learn how use it to the best possible manner. Looking out into the field, Estaria smiled. Only a fool would attack a bastion like Middenheim and not expect to be hit hard from the start, and relentlessly till the finish.

    Then a second sound range out. One that was almost silent against the din of battle. The clunk of wood against stone. The ladders had come. Small piles of rocks were lined up along the wall in anticipation, and Estaria stepped forward, grabbing one and hefting it over her her head and tossing it over the walls. The Norscan climbing up the ladder had his head bludgeoned in by the falling rock, and fell from the ladder. More rocks were thrown, but there were many more ladders than piles and rocks, and the rocks themselves were not endless, so soon the first Norscans made it to the top.

    The Warrior-Priest of Ulric swung as one of the heads appeared near the walls, the Norscan’s helmet getting split open along with his head in one might swing from the man’s axe. Despite a spirited effort to the contrary, the Norscans made it onto the walls, and them melee began. Blood rapidly slicked the floor, and bodies both Empire and Norscan filled the walls, making it a most treacherous foothold to have. And yet Estaria found herself in a state she had not felt in a long time. Each man who fell to her blade invigorated her to further kills. She was a strange woman in her soul. While enjoying the art of precision with her handgun and later pistols, the northern ice could not be shaken and she was always ready to throw down with the screaming masses, blade against blade. A powerful slam of her shield sent one of the Norscans plummeting down to break his body on the ground below, and at the same time she saw Borrago cut an armoured man in half with a swing. The horned helmet and superior gear marked him out as better than a simple tribesman, but that mattered not for the Beast Eater. Crashing her way towards him, he gave a non-vocal bellow of acknowledgement and together they fought, back to back against the tide of Norscans coming over the ladders.

    Fatigue at 25%

    The unintrusive box rang out, and a few moments later the gate was turned to kindling by the warriors hammering on it, exploiting it’s weakened form from the ram. Attacked on two fronts, neither force could assist the other. The Sigmar-led forces on the ground, mostly made up of her Southerners to put the Warrior Priest to best use, got into the thick of the fighting. Neither as ferocious not as skillful as the northern Middenhiemers, they had their own zeal when lead by their Warrior Priest. A glance around the walls revealed that it was to chocked full of bodies to see her Priest, but his howl of fury and passion ensured her that he was still alive. She was thankful for the extra Stamina she had built up over the week, and of the buff the Warrior Priest had given, but her fatigue was still climbing with every kill, and the numbers grew as the seconds passed, each unblocked hit lowering her luck. Near fifty percent, a great horn rang out from the central fortress of Middenheim. The horn signaled a retreat to a ground further in the castle. The Walls were not the only place preparations were being made, but separate staging grounds as they pulled back to the main castle, each designed to cost the enemy, to bleed them of men and morale. Designed to keep the advantage and pull back when it was lost. Of course, with nobody fighting on the walls and nobody at the gate, the Norscans would have free rein into Middenhiem, but that was a none-issue at this point.

    The retreat off the walls was orderly and precise, fighting and snapping at the Norscans every step of the way. Their persuit was dissuaded of being to close by a group of northern hunters, who used their longbows to harass anyone who tried to get to close. The fight backwards was rough but eventually there was enough space to properly disengage, at which point the gate fighters also did the same. She was then lead through the maze of buildings by the Warrior Priest, until they reached a redoubt, a fortified position at the end a narrow corridor of buildings. At first, Estaria thought it would make for great mortar shots, but they weren’t like that here. Maybe it was just to keep them packed together and taunt a few into killing themselves to progress, or something.

    In this redoubt, they met a new complement of men, fresh and ready for action, as they were directed to a small area off from the center opening, which held short rations. Water and tacks to get your breath back from the fight. A few surgeons to stop the bleeding of any wounds. She looked back, at the maze of streets she’d never have been able to navigate without the Warrior Priest, and then around herself. The whole of Middenheim had been built not as a city, but as a Fortress. The imposing, sturdy houses that were a far cry from the ramshackle hovels of the South were designed to block off movement, they were placed to confuse and the Middenheimers would take full advantage of that ensuing confusion. They didn’t just rely on high walls and sturdy men.

    The water was fouled somehow though, because it looked and tasted enough to turn your face inside out.
    “Cold does nothing for the taste! But, here’s hoping you’ll forgive us, things being what they are and all” the civilian at the large kettle exclaimed after seeing Estaria’s face. “Proper beans, boiling water, and a bit of goats milk makes an experience many times superior to this swill. You should try some after we eject this rabble” he finished, before nodding and getting back to others.
    “The confidence he has…truly staggering” Estaria said softly, finishing the foul brew and eating her tack before taking a seat on the ground and relaxing. Only people truly confident and truly born in a Fortress could have the courage to make a area for besieged soldiers to rest. And then the source of this confidence appeared, as a giant man with an equally sized hammer, and bedecked with great plate armour. The Ar-Ulric, most respected man of the Ulric church. From all around her came the sounds of tapping feet and signs of respect towards the great leader of the Ulric Church, and signs made with gauntleted and gloved hands. With a lift of his hammer and a lupine howl, he took to the front lines, backed by his full-plate wearing guards and Greatswordsman besides them. Such a wall would be terrifying for Estaria to try and charge against. But then they did just that. The first Norscans found their way out of the maze and to the redoubt. Not that it would do much for them until they finally came in mass, since that first was shot in the head by Estaria.

    “Black powder is a coward’s weapon!” one of the Middenhiemers cried.
    “I dunno, any one who is willing to wield a weapon they know will explode and kill them with any given use is pretty ballsy in my book. Plus you have to put a few weeks into training just to off-set it’s inaccuracies. And then another year to be accurate with it. And just because you are training doesn’t mean the whole explosion clause is removed. Imagine if every swing of the sword could make the sword shatter into a thousand shards that then embed themselves in your flesh” Estaria countered, giving a speech while reloading her pistol. It garnered a laugh of appreciation from the giant Ar-Ulric, either for the words itself or the way it was presented. Estaria was not quite the fanatic to get so insanely flattered that the Ar-Ulric had laughed at her words, but they did make her blush a little from the recognition. She was a face in the crowd girl, even after becoming a Captain.

    With respite gained from her guns, she shot more Norscans, but the drip was becoming a flood as the Norscans guided their fellows through the maze. A small wave of firepower came from the Redoubt, but there was not many of them to begin with, so it was scattered and light, taking merely the stragglers on the flank. And then they reached the wall, and carnage began. Skulls were split, chests were smashed. Axes bashed against the plate of the men holding the line and were repulsed. A pile of dead Norscans began to build up in the entrance to the redoubt, and soon Norscans had to climb over their fallen to attack, which put them in the worst position possible, and lead to the wall of dead growing. Eventually Norscans just started to try push the dead bodies onto the Ar-Ulric and Teutogen Guard. The wall that held off the Norscans then folded and became a ring, supplemented with the soldiers gathered in the redoubt proper. An arena of death that cut the Norscans to shreds. They had number in droves, but that was all they had, as there were few champions and it didn’t seem like there were any true-blooded Chaos Warriors in the horde. Eventually the Redoubt filled with bodies, until there were no more bodies.

    Estaria, who had been one of them drawn into the circle, let out a breath as the last Norscan fell to her sword. Casually reloading her pistols, she put them into the holsters, and then stretched her tired arms. With the rest, the buff, and her Stamina, fatigue had dropped enough that it was at 39 now. The jittery nerves and powerful battle adrenaline were felt clearly now in this moment of calmness. And it only made the next part even worse. Striding out to the front of the Redoubt, a mighty Chaos Champion appeared, his name Black to Estaria’s sight. A being so strong it would end her life in a handful of moments. And from behind him came eighty seven red-clad Chaos Warriors. From the Redoubt, Estaria could see the orange names and luck bars denoting them to be Elite enemies. The fight they were in for was a fight that was going to smash through the front lines and roll into the Redoubt itself, the fury and force of the Middenheimers being the only thing to keep them from razing the city.

    A horn rent the air when the Chaos Warriors appeared, and then they charged in. It didn’t seem to be the Chaos’ horn, but rather charging in response to it. Still, that didn’t change the fact that they were charging. Estaria gave the man in front both pistol rounds, but they both glanced off armour, his luck reduced a fair degree from Blackpowder’s damage to luck ability, but still with a sizeable amount left. Whoever was going to face off against him would need to be glorious. Hastily backing up and reloading her pistols, she stuck another two into him before he got to the front line, and a Greatswordsman was cut down in the first swing. Estaria had no more time to worry about him however, because his warriors had arrived and were clashing with the men in the Redoubt. Estaria found herself quickly engaged with one of the giant metal clad monsters, and the fight was rough. Each blows felt like they were delivered by a Troll, her shield-work the only thing between her and a shattered body. And that didn’t stop her shield arm from quickly growing numb from pain. Her sword slowly stripped his luck as her own was taken off with large, worrying bites, but eventually she was down, drawing blood and stealing health. An act soon repeated by the man as her health bar decreased from a blow. One final leaping strike slid her blade under his helmet, and spilled his blood on the ground, but that was one man. Just one, and it had nearly killed her.

    Around her, men piled in to fight the Warriors and were cut down as they cut them down. But the price was too dear, and the soldiery was getting overwhelmed by skill and staying power of the Chaos Warriors. Small pockets of resistance struck, Greatswordsmen and Warrior Priests matching blow for blow, but the ground was littered with the heroic men of the Greatswords. Even the Ar-Ulric’s Teutogen Guard were being felled, though they reaped a far more bloody toll of their foe before falling. The Ar-Ulric himself clashed against the Champion, being the only man not struck down by a matter of course. And then Estaria was in combat again. She swung, and then got a pop-up box.

    Touch Of The Wolf has Expired

    Which came at a terrible time, the sword of the Chaos Warrior smashing her to the ground and stealing a chunk of her health. Blooded and stunned, Estaria tried to climb to her feet, but was not able to move as a giant foot slammed her into the ground, forcing the breath from her lungs. She defiantly flailed her sword, but lacking a good angle and without the buff to her stats, it did little more than chip his luck stat. The blade came up, and then a massive clang filled the air as the helmet deformed with a crumble, and the man fell sideways, freeing Estaria, and giving her a chance to take the hand offered by the man, a large Middenhiemer in full plate and wielding a great hammer.

    “Ulric Hunts!” came a pounding roar, as a dozen such armed and armoured men rushed into the Redoubt, answering the horn’s call and lending aid to their beleaguered comrades. Estaria recognized their armament and insignia as the Order of the White Wolf, a strong knighthood order who had detachments at every temple to Ulric. Even if it was but a single man watching over a small shrine. Middenheim detachment was by far the largest, as their temple was the greatest. The Knights were a cut above the already high soldiers of Middenheim, and their arrival tipped victory away from the arriving warriors. But by themselves, they would not guarantee victory, only a more costly defeat for the warriors. But then, as Estaria staggered to her feet, a boom came from the Al-Ulric. Looking over, he held aloft the helmeted head of the now-corpse at his feet.

    See the Mercy Of The Wolf, Father!” His roar reverberated through the air, and his passion filled every man present with a martial desire unmatched by the earlier Wolf Priest. And Estaria was informed of it’s superiority by a nice little box popping up.

    Howl of Ar-Ulric: 100% to Melee weapon damage. +20 to Strength, Constitution, Stamina

    And like that, the rest felt. Chaos Warriors though they were, they could not stand to a divine boon granted to the men by the head of the church of Ulric himself. His blessings were the closest one got to being touched by the God Himself, and so their power was undeniable. And with that driving them, the last man was driven to his knees, bleeding and dying. The Siege of Middenheim, was finally over.

    Last edited by LillyanaKabal; January 17, 2019 at 05:41 AM.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 14031 words)

    Alrighty! I've read the next chapter, a bit of a contrast there from the prologue, especially with the bold stuff, but I can handle that. Here comes the feedback:

    I would strongly encourage you to do a bit of formatting to make your posts nicer-looking. It isn't a must, but little things like adding spaces between your paragraphs and choosing a different font from the generic one (font, as it so happens to be called) helps greatly in easing the reading process, and also to attract more readers. I would also recommend you add chapter titles and a content page, as you can see I referred to the chapter I read as 'the next chapter' because I didn't know what else to call it.

    Lastly, man that was one heck of a long chapter! I personally have no problems reading it through, but I know many people would prefer to read content in more 'manageable' amounts. A quick check on your wordcount comes up to 5.7k words, that is very impressive! To retain reader interest and also pace yourself, perhaps you could post one update a week with about 3k or less words inside? Of course this is really up to you, since you are the author after all, but it's just an observation that others have experienced as well - if you post shorter chapters and post regularly, you're more likely to get more viewers and more detailed feedback.

    Now for the good: The humor is good and well placed, I love it, humor always makes something more enjoyable to read and you don't have a shortage of it. The bolded parts are a bit unorthodox, but unorthodox is the new cool, as I'm discovering in the Creative Writing section. It's a pretty neat way to stay 'in the game' and also give us readers useful information. The way you describe Estaria's emotions are also rather well done, I quite liked "Estaria was always amazed with Borrago. She wondered how a man could grow as tall as a Norscan and expand even wider than one and still be a jolly man from The Empire." as well as "Estaria gave the box a Scathing glare as it made such an obvious statement. And once she had done trying to intimidate illuminated floating boxes, she carried on reading." There are many others, I'm just taking the two that stood out to me.

    Will be back sometime soon to read the rest

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  14. #14

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 14031 words)

    Heh, formatting. I once posted my really nicely formatted novel onto TWC and got a beautiful clump of absolute shite for my troubles. TWC loves killing my formatting. I can have it all lovely and neat and perfect and then TWC said "Nope! You gonna have it jank ass ". As for chapter names, there really aren't any. I've done chapter names on like, two of my six novels. Others get "Chapter 1" "Chapter 2" "Chapter 3". Which is why I do one post a chapter to keep it easy on knowing which post is which chapter. Not sure what a, Content Page is though....

    As for smaller chapters, I just like to write. My main Novel, The Earth Daughter, had a starting chapter of 8,000 words. The idea of posting once a week is horrifying, and keeping it below 3,000 words boggles the mind. People are under no obligations to read the entire chapter in one sitting. They can take it to a word document and read as they want to, marking off their place like it is an electronic book (And if you think that is too much effort, I politely refrain from further commentary). I write a lot, I love it, it's basically the only thing I can do competently and so there is a massive amount of time I need to fill that is occasionally and brutally filled with a ton of writing. I have no schedule at all, as you can see with some of my work having months and one time a year between work. I post when I got something to post, and if that means five times a week, then I put out five posts. And if that means one a foremonth, then things go dry.

    The bolded parts are game messages. I bolded them so you can clearly see they are pop up in front of her rather than her thoughts about the system. It is a much easier way to do this kind of thing with a Manga or an anime, so I gotta get a little creative. Anything in bold Is game messages. Makes people shouting pretty hard, but I just used instead. So hopefully that came through? It's unorthodox nature is why I was worried about posting it. Can the game setting work like this? We shall see, in time. As for the humor, that's just how I write, I am glad you enjoyed it~ My insperation for Borrago can be seen here. Usually I am not quite so cut and dry but this isn't a novel novel so I don't worry so much about lawsuits.
    Last edited by LillyanaKabal; January 16, 2019 at 12:47 PM.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 14031 words)

    Quote Originally Posted by LillyanaKabal View Post
    Heh, formatting. I once posted my really nicely formatted novel onto TWC and got a beautiful clump of absolute shite for my troubles. TWC loves killing my formatting. I can have it all lovely and neat and perfect and then TWC said "Nope! You gonna have it jank ass ". As for chapter names, there really aren't any. I've done chapter names on like, two of my six novels. Others get "Chapter 1" "Chapter 2" "Chapter 3". Which is why I do one post a chapter to keep it easy on knowing which post is which chapter. Not sure what a, Content Page is though....

    As for smaller chapters, I just like to write. My main Novel, The Earth Daughter, had a starting chapter of 8,000 words. The idea of posting once a week is horrifying, and keeping it below 3,000 words boggles the mind. People are under no obligations to read the entire chapter in one sitting. They can take it to a word document and read as they want to, marking off their place like it is an electronic book (And if you think that is too much effort, I politely refrain from further commentary). I write a lot, I love it, it's basically the only thing I can do competently and so there is a massive amount of time I need to fill that is occasionally and brutally filled with a ton of writing. I have no schedule at all, as you can see with some of my work having months and one time a year between work. I post when I got something to post, and if that means five times a week, then I put out five posts. And if that means one a foremonth, then things go dry.

    The bolded parts are game messages. I bolded them so you can clearly see they are pop up in front of her rather than her thoughts about the system. It is a much easier way to do this kind of thing with a Manga or an anime, so I gotta get a little creative. Anything in bold Is game messages. Makes people shouting pretty hard, but I just used instead. So hopefully that came through? It's unorthodox nature is why I was worried about posting it. Can the game setting work like this? We shall see, in time. As for the humor, that's just how I write, I am glad you enjoyed it~ My insperation for Borrago can be seen here. Usually I am not quite so cut and dry but this isn't a novel novel so I don't worry so much about lawsuits.
    With regards to formatting, I'm not really talking about all the fancy stuff yet, just the simple things like adding spaces between the paragraphs. I agree, sometimes formatting on TWC is annoying, but in my opinion it's worth it, and after having done it a few times you start to get the hang of it. Also, apologies if I was unclear, you don't need chapter names like Chapter 1: Assault. I just meant you should add 'chapter 1' or 'chapter 2' at the start of your posts so it's easier for people to refer to a specific chapter give you feedback. A content page is simply a list of the chapters you have written so far, with hyperlinks so that it's easier for readers to access them. That is entirely up to you, again, but most people do it.

    I agree with you on writing - sometimes you get inspiration and you simply can't put down the pen (or in this case the keyboard ). I too agree that people can read whenever they want, and however much they want at a time. It's good that you write a lot, and even better that you love it, but since you are posting on TWC, which is after all a forum, a good way to retain readership is to post regularly and in manageable amounts. You say sometimes you take months or a year between your work. While I myself have done the same thing, I can tell you that that is a certain way to put readers off and make them lose interest in or forget the story. Since you write so much, why not simply break it down so that you can post a chapter every week, to retain readership? That way you can save chapters for dry spells.

    If you're not convinced, however, may I humbly direct you to this conversation in my own AAR, where I was a strong proponent of your stand as well: Post #100 to Post #109, where other writers share their opinions on why shorter chapters are, in their opinion, more suitable.

    Again, that's entirely up to you, I'm just offering suggestions, how you write is entirely up to you, and take whatever I just said with a pinch of salt because I'm still new to the CW section
    Last edited by Swaeft; January 17, 2019 at 12:43 AM.

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  16. #16

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 14031 words)

    I did some formatting stuff but I am not sure if it did anything or not. If I know what was doing the do I would have done it already. Chapter headings and content page added, and a plan has been done. I am not the kind of person that can split up their writing or post once a week. This is mostly for me so only doing it once every week would be a harrowing nightmare. Instead, we have made Stunties Edition, for people who like small chapters. Link will be in the top page. Can't get it to hyperlink properly but it is there, just copy it into your browser.
    Last edited by LillyanaKabal; January 17, 2019 at 06:03 AM.

  17. #17

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 14031 words)

    If posting once a week isn't for you, then don't feel constrained to do so. And yes, I'm pleased to report that the formatting did work.

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  18. #18

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 14031 words)

    Here we go! This is mostly just after-the-battle stuff where Estaria explores the physical changes of high attributes. No pulse-pounding action to be found here, I am afraid.

    The fight, main and proper, was over. But that did not mean Middenhiem was safe, or that the siege was over. The Knights of the White Wolf pushed out from the Redoubt back to the gate and walls, to ensure that there was nobody lurking there for a second wave, and many swordsmen took to roving groups to clean the labyrinthian streets that may hide Norscans in waiting. Estaria waited for her Luck bar to get to full before going out to join one of these. With the Ar-Ulric’s blessing, it was an easy thing to cut down the mooks and very few low-orange elites that remained. The power that the head of the church wielded was immense. While finishing up one route to the Redoubt and preparing for another, she got a new popup, one that didn’t bode well.

    Howl of Ar-Ulric has ended
    Fatigue at 100%. Activity suspended until Fatigue reaches below 50%

    That, wasn’t very good at all, Estaria thought as she fell forwards, her body no longer responding to the unconscious order to stay upright. She didn’t even hear the clatter of her armour hitting the ground. For her, the time from falling to waking was a heartbeat, which was why it was jarring to suddenly wake up in a bed, stripped of her armour and seemingly alone. She wondered what a officer gave up his house to put her here, because it was a nice place. Her sight, however, was immediately filled with a mass of boxes, such that it was hard to see anything around them.

    You have leveled up
    You have leveled up
    You have leveled up
    You have leveled up
    You have leveled up
    You have leveled up
    You have leveled up
    You have leveled up
    You have leveled up
    You have leveled up
    You have leveled up
    You have leveled up

    Making a mad waving motion to shut down the twelve boxes that were telling her she had gotten the rewards of the siege, there was one below it that she had never seen before. And what it was saying was most interesting indeed.

    Loot gathered. Shop price; 999.865 gold pieces. Captain’s share of 20%; 199934 gold pieces.

    Estaria stared at the box, reading it and then reading it again just to make sure. This one siege had made her little under two hundred thousand gold pieces. Even if the exchange rate was 10 gold pieces to one Throne, she was still rich as an Altdorf noble. That was that, retire now, spend the rest of her life in comfort. Even hire a villa in Bretonnia, admire the countryside, die old and fat and happy. But it was just a fantasy, she wasn’t going to go through with that. She had a lot more to do before anything like that was going to happen. Shutting that box down, she opened her Status Screen, and admired the stats.

    Strength: 27 (37)
    Stamina: 32
    Constitution: 27 (37)
    Dexterity: 46
    Agility: 37
    Precision: 45
    Intelligence: 25
    Wisdom: 25
    Luck: 25

    The many level ups had given her stats a healthy boost, and the training had added a few on to boot. But her main stat, which was assumed to be precision, wasn’t as high as she would expect from it getting double rewards. Maybe it cycled between three? Main stat meaning your main bracket, not a singular stat. Would explain why the three for a more lithe body were higher than the three for a physical or mental person. Level up also meant trait points, so she went to scour that list. Having six points to spend, she went on a proper spree.

    Powder Woman: Firearms are the most engaging weapon you can possible think of, and their secrets are being pried open to feed your appetite. 50% increase to range, 30% increase to damage
    Powder Matriarch: Black Powder is your Blood. While you may lack academic understanding, your practical knowhow rivals an Engineer, and even the most unruly of firearms bow to you. 70% increase to range, 50% increase to damage. Imprecise is removed
    Decorated Veteran: Well known, and well respected, your name is toasted to by many. Increase the rewards of Tokens, Medals and Medallions by 1.
    Swordswoman: Learning the way of the sword is hard, but with practice, one can be a venerable cause on the field. Grants subtargetting for melee weaponry.
    Celerity: Swifter than most, you run with the grace of ten men and the speed of five. Add +20 to agility for the sake of movement speed.
    Quick-Load: In the blink of an eye, you are ready to fire again. Spend Cool to instantly reload your firearm with a flourish

    Six new traits under her belt, Estaria leaned back on the bed and smiled. Powder Matriarch made her sound old, but it would certainly help relieve people of their lives, especially when she got one of them experimental weapons from the shop. It made her wonder what she was going to spend all that gold on. But, there was still more, down in the corner, waiting for her to tap. So, she did and got even more popups.

    Repeatable Quest complete:

    20/10 mook enemies killed
    2/1 Elite enemies killed

    Gain reward: Money Box

    Chose reward: Sharpshooter Medal (2), Vigor Medals (2) Sharpshooter Medal (1) Vigor Medal (1).

    Estaria was unsure what Vigor medals were, so accepted the option where she got both. Her new trait increased the rewards, and so she got two of both medals. And there had been many a man who had fallen beneath her sword and gun, so she got cleared that quest three times, getting 6 medals and three Money boxes. They were opened, and a random amount of gold given to her. While it didn’t seem like much, it was still welcome. And then she looked over the Vigor medals shop. It was similar to the Boss and Sharpshooter shops, but dealt with the physical side of things. Melee weapons, shields, some potions. Medals counted for two tokens, and there was a potion called “The Long Haul” which she bought, and then withdrew and drunk.

    The Long Haul used. Stamina increased by +5

    While Estaria was thankful for making her Stamina better, the potion tasted like old shoes. But with this, her stamina was equal to her strength, mostly because of the run that was hell, every day for nearly a week. It had given her many stamina points. She then looked to the Sharpshooter Medals. She did want to get the pistol, but….

    Quicksilver Potion used. Agility increased by +5

    Up to 42. With Celerity, she would have 62 Agility for movement. Not that it really meant anything, she didn’t know what the average was. Unless the average was 10. Which would make sense, she was an average woman when it came to the sword, and so her strength was 10 when she was level 1. Leaving the shop for now, she would go oggle what things she could buy later, Estaria slid out of bed and walked to the door out of the bedroom. It could only have been a few steps, and yet she felt so strange doing it. She felt off balance by being far to on balance. She was more stable than this building and it was a disconcerting feel to be so pristinely balanced. She wasn’t meant to be this well balanced, humans were not designed to be this balanced. She kept thinking she was going to fall over because the idea of being too balanced was not one she could grasp and so her brain was defaulting to not balanced enough. Clutching to the door as if it was a stable mast in a storm, she slowly opened it, and headed out. Every step was one of grace, and her head told her she should be wobbling all over the place, even though her body barely twitched.

    Getting to the staircase, a servant spotted her and then returned to the kitchen, almost as if her appearance was why she had scurried back into the kitchen. Well, at least she didn’t have to have anyone watch her walk with legs to long and balance to much. The stairs were not wide, but even on her tip-toes she felt as if they were as broad as the floor itself. By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, she decided that it was just not going to work like this. Worrying about it was like a new recruit fretting over his inexperience. It wouldn’t just vanish overnight, and only experience would solve this issue. So she took a breath, and did her best to stop worrying about it. It was still weird, but she was focused on other things.

    Like how her steps felt way to small and her legs way to long. It was like she was just shuffling along, barely moving one foot from the other. And so when the servant who had fled the sight returned, she found Estaria walking the length of the room, and then turning and walking back. Her strides were broad and her gait was beautiful. The woman was so fast it took her a few seconds to clear the distance before turning to do it again. But as for why….maybe she had hit her head? The servant gave a light cough, and Estaria looked up from her striding.

    The servant was holding a cup of something, and it was steaming hot, indicating it had just been made. Maybe the servant fled to go make it. Who knew with these kind of people.
    “Ahh, thank you” Estaria said as she was handed the cup and took a sip. She could tell from the taste of it that it was the same as the stuff she had been given in the siege, like a man can tell a misshapen bit of metal and a mastercrafted sword are still both swords. But the taste was something else entirely. The man really was right that the cold did nothing for it’s taste. She could quite enjoy this beverage.

    “So, where do I find some clothes?” she asked the maid. The maid gestured to follow her, and then ascended the stairs again. She, wasn't talking though. Which was a strange thing. Maybe it had something to do with the nice silk scarf she was wearing around her neck? Estaria didn’t want to push the point in case it was a bad set of memories for her, so just let herself get guided to a nice set of clothes, which she then donned. Finishing the cup, she replaced it in the kitchen, and then went out into the world. With the bustle of the city, you wouldn’t have thought it was besieged by thousands only yesterday. Striding out into the streets and using it to get her legs under her, she found herself at the Redoubt, where many a man had perished. Borrago was there, and waved to Estaria as she arrived, but even before he said anything, she noticed a very strange thing.

    All the Chaos Warriors and all the Norscans were naked. Stripped to their skin and with no sign of where the loot was. She thought it highly industrious of the Middenhiemers, before Borrago came over.
    “Good to see you up Captain. Was a scare to see you collapse. But most have their heads full with this conundrum. When we came out this morning, every foe had been stripped clean, down to their underwear, if they had any to begin with. Nobody can explain it either!” His voice was part worried, part wonderous at this sudden and unexpected turn of events.All Estaria could do was smile and nodded in amazement. How could she give her only theory of what had happened to him? That all the men had been stripped by the system, and all the things had been sold off. Looking about her, there was much work to be done, and two quests popped up by her side, enlightening her to new things.

    Dynamic quest started:

    Move bodies to the pyre: 0/20
    Move bodies to the Cart: 0/20

    Run to gather supplies: 0/5km

    The dynamic quest was, an interesting concept. Plus, no shortage of bodies, so she’d certainly be able to overlevel this one. And if it was repeatable, get a lot of stuff out of it. Whatever the rewards were.

  19. #19

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 14031 words)

    Chaos Spawn cause madness and derangement when gazed upon.

  20. #20

    Default Re: Hammer (Warhammer Fanfic, 14031 words)

    Buffing before the raid. It is short but the next one will probably be longer. Also thought "Ohh, Google Docs has a formatting system, let's use that rather that our hamfisted attempts" but TWC loves killing erryone's formatting. So it didn't work.

    Well that was just bad format. The Dynamic quests were actually two different quests, but some glitch in the system or something had caused them to come up looking like they were the same. Still, the quests were run and done, a whole day was spent….running, actually. When it came out that Estaria could somehow move like she had lightning in her veins, everyone wanted her to go here and get this, go here and get that. She felt like a courier and not a Captain. By the end of the day, she got the carrying bodies quest done, once. The running to collect quest, however, was overdone a solid half dozen times. She had covered every inch of Middenhiem by the end of the day, but much was done because of that. Strength increased from all the carrying, Agility from all the running, and Stamina because Estaria didn’t slouch when she was asked to get something. She ran for it.

    In bed after the long day, she finished the carry quest and got a potion. “Potion Of Lesser Experience”. Which was actually really good. The bar was close to ending so a quick push would be good. Withdrawing it from her inventory and downing it, it tasted of strawberries. Gods, she could buy them just for the taste if nothing else.

    Experience limit reached. Please choose a Job to continue gaining experience

    The box came suddenly, mostly because Estaria was focused on the taste of the potion. But with the box bringing her back she turned on the status screen, and opened the flashing Job box. There was a list of several, but they were pretty simple and didn’t entice her. This was going to be important. And then she saw one with orange text. Mostly because it really did have telepathic communication with her, the box to explain her question came up as soon as she mentally asked it.

    Orange Jobs are superior to normal jobs. However, they require passing a Job Quest to obtain

    Estaria looked at the job - Captain, which was pretty fitting - and then back to herself. It was no use deciding to jump right into this job quest without preparing, that was just stupid. So she shot job down for the moment, and opened the dynamic quests for running. Here she completed 6 of them, earning her six of those delightful potions, and her choice of six others. Hovering over, there was Lesser Quicksilver Potion, Lesser Guile Potion, and Lesser Acuity Potion. After a very quick bout of thinking, four Guile and two Acuity potions were picked. She really didn’t need more Agility right now. Was still coming to grasp with what she had.

    Despite how good they tasted, Estaria put the experience potions away in the inventory for now, and withdrew the Guile potions. Holding onto her sheet for support, she popped open the top and drunk the content. It tasted, like sweet apple. Maybe, the taste was evocative of her main stats? While experience was for everyone, the Stamina potion tasted like old shoes. Testing out the Acuity potion, she got a mellow tinge of chocolate. Which all but confirmed her theory that these were good tasting because that was her main stat! They were downed by her, and then another pop-up came, unexpectedly.

    50 Dexterity, Second Slice unlocked.
    Second Slice - The blade is like flowing water, always moving from one spot to the next with incredible grace. Spend Cool to make a second melee attack immediately after the first.

    Another Cool-powered technique. Now she was superpowered in both aspects of combat, her long-range covered by Quick Load and her melee range covered by Second Slice. And speaking of melee range...She had spent the day considering what she was going to do, and finally come to the conclusion that at least some of it was going to be spent in the Temple of Ulric. Estaria didn’t know what happened to the money spent there, but it seemed to please the God, if nothing else. So she got some shoes on, and shuffled on over in her civilian clothing. Not, that that dampened the recognizing at all, a lot of night workers gave her a wave as she passed, and one Night Watchman even offered to escort her to the temple when she told him where she was heading. It was cute, but she refused, stating that it was the great work of him and his peers that allowed a woman to walk to the temple by herself and feel safe. He seemed both embarrassed and emboldened by that, and went off into the night, his chest out and his confidence against the monsters in the shadows radiating as brightly as his lamp.

    Eventually Estaria got to the temple, and the pop-up told her she was entering holy ground. The offerings shop was opened, and she picked up Holy Offering, dropping 20,000 gold pieces into this handful of reeds. As simple as it seemed, she could really feel power radiating off it. Heads were turned as she walked towards the fire, clearly not the only one to recognize it’s feel. And then when she threw it into the fire, a most beautiful sight was shown before her. The flame twisted and rose, like a wolf running out of the flame and up, up into the sky. Murmurs of Good Omens and Ulric’s Approval filled the air as people began to talk. Some flicking glances at Estaria before getting back to their talk. This was really going to blow up, wasn’t it? She really didn’t need heralding as some sort of chosen of Ulric or whatever else they were planning. Letting out a soft sigh, she saw the new pop up as she gave the offering.

    Ulric’s Boon - +20 to Strength, +20 to Constitution.
    Mercy Of The Wolf - deal double damage against foes with 25% health remaining.

    The strength and constitution were considerable, and Estaria felt herself filling out, her civilian uniform getting tighter as the stats affected her physical build. Wasn’t just the still-strange walking from Agility, but also her physique from Strength. An errant thought flashed in her head that she needed to check herself out in a mirror some time. Muscular woman always made her tick in a way nothing else did. But that was slapped out of her, it was no time to be going ogling her own body. Instead, she was going to the shop. Leaving the Temple to avoid anyone tempted to come over and bother her, she opened the shop item, and flicked through, much more money for a spending spree now.

    One item that caught her eye was a Barrel of Bugman’s XXXXXX. It made Estaria smile, and give a soft laugh. For 5,000 a barrel, she’d be making some dwarven friends with that. She bought four, and her inventory was now ladened with copious amounts of the best booze you could hope to find. Prices increased as she scrolled down, and then something made her splutter. Gromril was for sale. Starting at a fist-sized chunk for 10,000 and currently the most expensive she could afford for 150,000 was a boulder half the size of a man. While that was her stash from the Siege wiped out, that much Gromril wouldn’t just make her a friend. She could probably buy a Dwarf Hold. Even the fist-sized chunk, too small to be made into anything proper by itself, would get you fast friends with any Dwarf you gave it to. And you really would need to give it to a Dwarf, since nobody else could do anything with it.

    Taking a few breaths so she didn’t do anything rash and buy something that wouldn’t be of use for at least another month, she scanned the lists for more, and came across a 50,000 sword. “Blade Of Ulric” it was called. And while she really didn’t need to throw any more fuel on the fire, she clicked it up.

    Blade Of Ulric - The Wolf God’s fang, forged into a mighty scimitar to fell his foes and bring honour to his followers!

    Looking through it’s stats, she saw it had high damage, good armour penetration and “Breath Of Winter” which dealt additional frost damage and reduced fire damage when wielded. Well worth the price tag, and so Estaria got it. Withdrawing it from the inventory, Estaria admired the blade. It was beautiful, the handle exquisitely crafted, the edge glistening with the soft frost of early winter, and the blade inscribed with runes she’d have to show a historian or librarian or other smart guy to understand. Returning it to her sheath, Estaria got back to her room, dressed in her combat regalia, spent a good hour cleaning her pistols with her cleaning kit, and then opened the job screen, and accepted the challenge for the Captain job. The world went white, and Estaria could only hold her breath in anticipation of what was to come
    Last edited by LillyanaKabal; January 27, 2019 at 05:13 PM.

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