Derc Plays Through World History

[Cookiegod]

Hey wait you weren't supposed to notice that! Also nothing escapes the Danish inquisition

[Turkafinwë]

That's the fastest 180 turn I've ever seen.

"Yeah we'll join your empire"

*5 minutes later*

"I've changed my mind, can I return this Imperial business. I still got the receipt." (Though I don't think Ammatas really thought it through)

Loved the Asterix and Obelix reference, thanks Attila TW. Now only an in-game event involving a druid on a quest to find some mistletoe. No idea what that might be for.

[Derc]

This'll be one last big update.

Attila
The Last Roman
#7

-------------------------- (Click to view) --------------------------

Bringing reinforcements from all over the empire, Belisarius pushes on. The defeat sits bitter with him, but he didn't came this far to see his story end in the vast nowhere of a hazy Gallic field. A terrible carnage ensued, and there was no clear winner or loser. Belisarius decides to change the strategy. The road he intented to take is too well defended, so he leaves the coast, perhaps exposing Iberia, to attack the Franks further inland. After all, offence is the best defence. The Western Roman Empire is still rotting, and is doing so on a dangerous scale. Belisarius' conquests are glorius, but his shine has faltered, and the beast screams from within. Belisarius is a man of the military, not a politician, but this is where he is needed now. He will eventually need to return home, and will have to do so soon. John the Armenian closes up to support Belisarius with the Franks. He is coming from the East, over the Alpes, and he brings a terrifying army with him. Franks eventually begin to lose ground, but on the battlefield they are still strong. What does it matter if they win a battle but lose the war? Belisar and John are close to each other. The goal is to take the Frankish capital Paris with joint forces. John arrives there first, and already began besieging the city. Belisar eventually catches up, and the Romans strike down the many obstacles that are thrown into their way. Roman power succeeds, and the most important Frankish city is taken. Triumph! The Romans have succeeded once more, although it has been hard. The Frankish king throws himself into the dirt and whimpers for mercy, diluting the name of God in the process. Belisarius does not accept that, and wants to see the task finished. At the gates of Remorum the last significant Frankish resistance is met. The war may be lost for the Franks, but this situation only unleashes the berserker in them. In Romans it unleashed something else. Altough many casualties had been taken, the road was free, and the last Frankish city was about to fall. Not every Roman had the joy to witness the moment of ultimate triumph. Many sacrifices had been made. So many sacrifices. The Frankish king lay slain on the ground, and it was the moment when it became clear... ...The conquests are over. The West was united again. The Western Roman Empire restored! Perhaps it missed the rough lands of Britannia, but it was for the better. It was a story of ressurection, glory and triumph, but there was also so much tragecy. God held witness, putting the hardest of trials upon Rome. Rome fell, Rome altered, Rome was born anew. Now God would have to observe the following years, decades and centuries to come. There would be many more tests to come, that was certain. Time does not sleep, and neither does God nor the eternal city. Of course I myself also had to be tested at the very end. Thanks, CA! ⚙️ Authors Note - Technical You may have noticed I spared that last Vandal settlement in the last chapter. Why did I do that? Well, as said at the very beginning, the first settlement you conquer becomes your capital. Turns out this also accounts for settlements you conquer and put into the hands of the Byzantines, which was the case with Thysdrus, the first and only settlement I captured for Justinian in order to lure him there. Grrr! First Pompey's campaign, now here. Karma is a . Whatever Belisarius did, he did it for Rome. At one point he had to decide just what that Rome was. And he did. Perhaps he would have decided different in another universe, but that does not matter. What matters is the now an then. Belisar has changed, just as the West did. It changed radically. Rome was back again, but the old times were not. Rome is not what it once was, and neither is Belisarius. Once you've looked into the abyss, there is no going back. Caesar, Alexander ... people who changed the course of history all lay dead in the end. Belisarius would not allow that. He has learned from history. Has he? Belisarius wanted to bring glory and greatness to Rome, to resurrect it, but what he has done is to give birth to a rotting corpse. A place of debauchery, corruption and darkness. This is what this new Rome stands for? Isn't this, perhaps, what Rome has always been? Belisarius did not want this. He would return to Rome, to cleanse it from inside, and he understood that, dispite all the hardships, dispite all the battlefields he had seen, dispite all the brothers he has lost, it was only the beginning. The beginning of something he created himself, and now, just like the world, he had to deal with the consequences. Belisarius smiled as he rode back to Rome, for he knew one thing: ..."All just stories in the end".

📘 Alternate History

This is a scenario I like a lot, and one I can totally image having taken place. If the Western Roman Empire had been reborn under these circumstances, being something independent, it would have been the Byzantine's Empire's greatest rival for many centuries to come. The two Romes would have fought each other, none of them prevailing at all. History would have repeated, with both empires being destroyed from without and within on a slow and painful pace, or perhaps quickly crumbling under another invasion altogether.

It is interesting to imagine the rise of Islam and the Viking Age with a reborn Western Rome instead of a Frankish Empire. The Pope, no doubt, would have further risen in power with the growth of Christianity, further increasing the schism between the two Romes and perhaps undermining Western Rome itself, which saw itself as the great protector of the one true faith, the country of an united Latin church.

It was Rome, but at the same time it also wasn't anymore. Times had changed. The classical era was over. The Dark Ages and the Medieval Era were about to come, just not only with a Byzantine Empire, but with a Byzantine and a Crimson Empire.

🏠 House Rules & Special Goals

Unwritten Rules:

• Conquer the whole map - Check
• No exploits, hacks, etc. blah bla blubb - Check

Written ones:

• Phoenix-like: Reestablish the Western Roman Empire with its capital being located in Rome - Check

⭐ Conclusion: Attila - The Last Roman

• Immersive events
• Some nice choices that really have a consequence
• Quite hard
  

  ---

• Buggy
• Stupid victory conditions
• Who plays the other factions anyway?

There are a lot of things you can do, and how you do it. I liked the challenge. It was hard, sometimes unforgiving, but not as unfair as the Attila Main Campaign was. I absolutely love the ingame events and the superb flavour these texts deliver. It is a damn interesting scenario, barely covered by media, and it was tremendous fun doing the independence challenge.

What bugs me the most about this campaign are the bugs and some details that simply were ignored by the developers.
So I converted to the Latin church at the very beginning. Turns out, at the very end, you have to build a Greek Basilica in order to reach ultimate victory. Not just any Basilica, but a Greek one. Since I did convert, I could not build that building. I could build a Latin one, but that did not count. Boooooh.
Whatever, ultimate victory would've just've been a nasty textbox anyway.

🎭 Funfact

It is interesting to see where the developers seem to have taken the inspiration for the faction logo from. Compare it with the famous fresco from the Basilica of San Vitale

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Critique:
1) The general of the brave companions looks so angry like there's a thousand things he'd Rathier do.
2) For once the Armenians are the ones doing the genociding. I'm so happy for them!
3) You had the enemy by the balls... and took them.
4) All Gaul is under Frankish control, except for one small village in Armorica. I'd not worry about it. They'll probably roflstomp the rest.
5) How does it feel to you that I'm better at invading Franks played by a human player than you are at invading AI Franks while holding almost the entire map? No wait... Your challenge is actually harder. lol.

EDIT: This slander in picture 7 shall not stand!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

How am I to gain what I have always had?!

Your puns and historically references have been noticed. That's ok, but referencing personal times from a Hotseat long ago? That was quite a burn.

I didn't even notice that at first! Thanks for bringing attention to it Cook! And well done Derc for including that!

He did only notice it after I told him about it. Don't tell anyone. Cookie's gotten old.

That's the fastest 180 turn I've ever seen.
"Yeah we'll join your empire"
*5 minutes later*
"I've changed my mind, can I return this Imperial business. I still got the receipt." (Though I don't think Ammatas really thought it through)

Well, you could at least say that the people of late antiquity were allowed to experience the sensation of online shopping on their own.

Loved the Asterix and Obelix reference, thanks Attila TW. Now only an in-game event involving a druid on a quest to find some mistletoe. No idea what that might be for.

Loved Asterix & Obelix too. At least the old comics. I miss them sometimes. These comics are the very essence of childhood, together with Tintin. Love you Belgian guys for that comic alone.

(Though I would like to believe in a Derc Plays Through World History Expanded Universe )

There is. There totally is. It is the story of us; of humanity itself.

You know, it's just the usual questions: "Where do we come from? What is what makes what we are? Why is humanity like that?".

Well, to find out these answers we have to go back in time, and we will then find out that the answer lies in no specific period or place, but in history itself. And it's devastating.

History is like a mirror of humanity, and the more I've seen of it, the more detached I became. I'm disgusted and fascinated by humanity at the same time. It is incredible to see what we did and what we achieved, but at the same time it's humiliating to see just how we did it, and how we dare to put ourselves above everything else, just because we can.

We can learn so much about ourselves by just looking at our history, and every oh so little detail in all these countless years shaped the world we live in now, and set out the path we are taking. If we follow that part is another matter entirely, and however we decide will go down in history too.

---

That was quite a job, guys. A little fun thing: I heard some music during the writing, and one track somehow fits the ambience of the campaign really well.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Although I don't like Ass(assins) Creed, I have to admit this track truly delivers a fitting Italian atmosphere. Go, reread one chapter with it playing, and with a good wine perhaps.


Some not so cool news:
I will take a longer pause from this. I've ran out of pre-written drafts. The joy in doing this has also vanished. It started to feel more like additional work than a hobby. This should never happen.
The Last Roman was not ready when I began publishing it. Most updates were written just in time. It was so because I wanted to madly post TLR in December, for personal reasons. It was a test. A little fight against fate, and I got my answer. History repeats itself, and the influence you have on it can barely be controlled. It was nevertheless a valuable teaching, and an extraordinary experience.

There are still a lot of great and weird campaigns I want to show. But it's good for now. It's good. I am satisfied, and I hope you are too.
What better moment to pause than after Turk's great review?

Fun thing: Taking a pause fits nicely for the next campaign, as it will be set far away in the future and, given the nature of the campaign, will be very long. Oh, it is the very essence of history.
Did I make you hot? Well, too bad.

And into eternity, brothers, hail and farewell until next time. 👋

[Cookiegod]

Oi!
1) I'm not old! You're old!
2) You did hack... that guy's wiener off.
3) Into eternity yes, but I hope we'll see other campaigns at some point! XOXO
4) No comment on you taking Brittany?!
5) There are countless parallel universes, and I die in each and every one of them.

[Turkafinwë]

He did it! The absolute mad-lad did it! A great ending to a wonderful campaign!

Loved Asterix & Obelix too. At least the old comics. I miss them sometimes. These comics are the very essence of childhood, together with Tintin. Love you Belgian guys for that comic alone.

As with many comics, I find that the older ones resonate with me much better than the new (though nostalgia might be a large part of that), and it is true Belgium has a great number of famous cartoonists. At home I have a lot of Tintin (or Kuifje as we call him in Flanders; my French is absolutely dreadful so I do all my reading in either Dutch or English ) and other comics, my father is a collector of some sort, so I too grew up reading a lot of comics. It's been a long time since I revisited any of them.

There is. There totally is. It is the story of us; of humanity itself.

That is an interesting way to look at it. Hadn't really thought about it in that way.

I've had the same happen to me with my AAR, I lost the will to write for it and it felt more like a job than a hobby and after taking a break of a couple months I felt energized and ready to continue the story. Hopefully it'll help you too find the joy again to write for this project. Enjoy your well-earned break!

[Alwyn]

Yes, that was a nicely Asterix and Obelix moment in the previous chapter!

A damn interesting scenario, indeed, and I enjoyed your exploration of what might have been. Having enjoyed your tale of Belisarius, I'm really looking forward to trying this campaign.

You've got me wondering what your next campaign will be ... 'far in the future', a 'very long campaign' and the 'very essence of history', I look forward to finding out.

[Kilo11]

That's a great final update, and I was particularly moved by your thoughts on history and humanity. It is indeed a cold bath to really look at the things we've done to one another (and continue to do), but it is also interesting to see how much we improve with each "unthinkable" deed. Somehow we seems to always be horrid to each other, but over the centuries the ways we are horrid appear to become less and less brutal, which is heartening in a small way.

To your alternate history ideas, I think you are spot on. I can't imagine a re-established Western Rome lasting terribly long, and it would definitely start to butt heads with the Eastern half. If for no other reason, Western Rome would try to edge in on trade routes, and that would almost certainly lead to small conflicts that would lump together into all-out war. And then I imagine that the two empires would spend each other's strength, and when the time came, the Muslims out of Arabia would still conquer all that they did, the great empires of Europe would collapse as they did, and there would be a period of darkness where once there was light, and the only learning and progress would be in the Muslim Caliphates, as actually happened. Your story would change some timelines, but the shape of history would snap back to its lines readily enough. I think that is the big thing in a lot of these "alternate" history stories: We might change the course of the river, but it will still flow, going the same general direction, and without any chance for us to truly dam it. I think history is just so much more than individual events, but is built of moods and sentiments that are deeper and broader than anything that can be displaced or changed via a single battle, war, or even empire. Just my thoughts though.

You should definitely take a break if you need one, as it's important to do this cause you genuinely want to, but I don't think I'm alone when I say that I hope it is just a break! Your stories are just so much fun, and do a great job of mixing dark comedy, interesting commentary, and beautiful screenshots, and I can't wait for the next campaign to start up!


P.s. As always, I can't rep you, cause I am always rep-blocked, but as soon as I can, you get it!

[Derc]

Oi!
1) I'm not old! You're old!
2) You did hack... that guy's wiener off.
3) Into eternity yes, but I hope we'll see other campaigns at some point! XOXO
4) No comment on you taking Brittany?!
5) There are countless parallel universes, and I die in each and every one of them.

1. Guess what. We're both old. You're going down with me.
   Proof that you're old? You didn't format your list as list. Atrocious.
2. Spoiler for next campaign: 

   Wien is, sadly, not on the map. Next campaign may have it. Perhaps.
3. XOXO HDGDL XAXAXAXA
4. Eh... . That's a chance missed. Had no interesting screens and it was also just a 'swoop in, go out' situation.
5. Not in every one of them

He did it! The absolute mad-lad did it! A great ending to a wonderful campaign!

Haha. Thanks.

As with many comics, I find that the older ones resonate with me much better than the new (though nostalgia might be a large part of that), and it is true Belgium has a great number of famous cartoonists. At home I have a lot of Tintin (or Kuifje as we call him in Flanders; my French is absolutely dreadful so I do all my reading in either Dutch or English ) and other comics, my father is a collector of some sort, so I too grew up reading a lot of comics. It's been a long time since I revisited any of them.

Do it the next time you have holiday. It'll be a day well spent.

That is an interesting way to look at it. Hadn't really thought about it in that way.

I've had the same happen to me with my AAR, I lost the will to write for it and it felt more like a job than a hobby and after taking a break of a couple months I felt energized and ready to continue the story. Hopefully it'll help you too find the joy again to write for this project. Enjoy your well-earned break!

One needs to hold in from time to time, and simply give it a rest. If more people would do that, a lot of problems would solve by itself. Humanity tends to lose track too often.

Yes, that was a nicely Asterix and Obelix moment in the previous chapter!
A damn interesting scenario, indeed, and I enjoyed your exploration of what might have been. Having enjoyed your tale of Belisarius, I'm really looking forward to trying this campaign.
You've got me wondering what your next campaign will be ... 'far in the future', a 'very long campaign' and the 'very essence of history', I look forward to finding out.

Spoiler for next campaign: 

The ancient and medieval times have been covered enough for now. There is a shocking lack of gunpowder in this AAR. Time to change that.

That's a great final update, and I was particularly moved by your thoughts on history and humanity. It is indeed a cold bath to really look at the things we've done to one another (and continue to do), but it is also interesting to see how much we improve with each "unthinkable" deed. Somehow we seems to always be horrid to each other, but over the centuries the ways we are horrid appear to become less and less brutal, which is heartening in a small way.

Haha, oh boy, only on paper.

To your alternate history ideas, I think you are spot on. I can't imagine a re-established Western Rome lasting terribly long, and it would definitely start to butt heads with the Eastern half. If for no other reason, Western Rome would try to edge in on trade routes, and that would almost certainly lead to small conflicts that would lump together into all-out war. And then I imagine that the two empires would spend each other's strength, and when the time came, the Muslims out of Arabia would still conquer all that they did, the great empires of Europe would collapse as they did, and there would be a period of darkness where once there was light, and the only learning and progress would be in the Muslim Caliphates, as actually happened. Your story would change some timelines, but the shape of history would snap back to its lines readily enough. I think that is the big thing in a lot of these "alternate" history stories: We might change the course of the river, but it will still flow, going the same general direction, and without any chance for us to truly dam it. I think history is just so much more than individual events, but is built of moods and sentiments that are deeper and broader than anything that can be displaced or changed via a single battle, war, or even empire. Just my thoughts though.

Well, I don't know. There is a chance that the Roman Empire completely failed to defend against the Muslim invasion, but there's also a good chance it would have survived it, given the situation. Africa would most likely have been lost, perhaps Spain and Sicily and parts of France too. There might have been a chance where the two Roman Empires worked together in order to stop the invasion, but as soon as that thread would have been dealt with, relations would have faltered again.
I can full well imagine a Western Roman Empire that survived centuries to come, at one point saying: "Screw it! If we can't go east, we'll go west", thus discovering a nice little land at the other side of the ocean. Highly unlikely, yeah, but oh well, so many scenarios have been unlikely and still happened. It's still a nice scenario to imagine.

A long time ago I drafted out a concept of something called 'The Crimson Empire'. It was a set of small stories, depicting just these scenarios. What would've happened, if the Western Roman Empire would have been reborn by Belisarius, out of betrayal? How could it have survived through the ages, eventually having to deal with Islam, the Vikings, and perhaps much later Great Britain? A Western Roman Empire discovering America, going through the age of Revolution, industrializing, going through the world wars into the cybernetic future. A funny, yet dumb concept, and just the fantasy play of a little boy.
It was funny when CA, many years later, delivered the 'The Last Roman' campaign, and this long lost concept became somewhat of a unofficial predecesor to DPTWH.

You should definitely take a break if you need one, as it's important to do this cause you genuinely want to, but I don't think I'm alone when I say that I hope it is just a break! Your stories are just so much fun, and do a great job of mixing dark comedy, interesting commentary, and beautiful screenshots, and I can't wait for the next campaign to start up!

It's silly. As soon as I accomplish a campaign, CA spits out another. Just added Three Kingdoms - Mandate to Heaven in the opening banner.

P.s. As always, I can't rep you, cause I am always rep-blocked, but as soon as I can, you get it!

You can have a fine whisky on me instead. Cheers!

[Alwyn]

Gunpowder, eh? Cool!

[Kilo11]

So Derc, I am now ready for your next shenanigan. Odds are, you are not allowed to work right now anyway, so entertain us!

But more seriously, you obviously continue your hiatus if you still need a creative break, but I believe I can speak for everyone (except perhaps Cook) when I say we'd love to see the continuation!

[Derc]

Glad you ask Kilo, and really happy seeing someone care for this. I really am.

Little problem: I admit I've been, and still am, quite busy. I've been online only to spam around every now and then. If history teaches one thing then it is that you need to adapt all the time. Adapt or die. Nothing holds more true at this very moment. We should only look back to learn from history. Atm we need to look at the present. What is happening just now is pure history itself. The 20s, although having just started, have already be defined. What is happening now will keep us busy for the rest of the decade, and, I guarantee it, even tough we will never see it, people 100 years from now will remember it all. In 2120 they will joke that the curse of the 20's may repeat itself once again (just like the curse of Belisarius repeated itself btw, lol).

I work in E-Commerce. I also have the luck to work in an awesome company. Crazy things are happening right now, and E-Commerce is nowhere as stable as you would imagine, but it will definitely be the future. I am one of the happy ones to be quite busy right now.

I hope everyone of you will be well after all of this. Currently is not the time, but I have a lot of awesome in petto. It all requires more time, but if it is anything the current year tells us, then it is that time itself will solve it all. Hasn't this AAR explained it already? Hasn't history done so already?


You want your little dosis of history and TW? Well, ok. Here, have it:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Most of history is written by coincidence. Proof?
So I came across a little song called "Jerusalemlied" when browsin' around Youtube. A classic, aye?
Astounding song, and incredible to listen after a long day, drinking something (tea, of course!), and slowly falling to sleep with some candlelight.


Great song, and not only that: depending on how you sing a tale, it may feel completely different. The same lyrics. The same story. Two different feelings. Not bad. A butterfly in the right or wrong place can make all the difference.

Whatever, I'm ramblin', but it's true. So, back to topic: What's funny is that the name of the composer, Walther von der Vogelweide, now one of the most famous German poets before Goethe, was found completely by accident - because of something every man hates, no matter his rank - because of an invoice.
For all his fame, Walther's name is not found in contemporary records, with the exception of a solitary mention in the travelling accounts of Bishop Wolfger of Erla of the Passau diocese: "Walthero cantori de Vogelweide pro pellicio v solidos longos" ("To Walther the singer of the Vogelweide five shillings for a fur coat.").

So one of the most famous songwriters of a nation, having been lost to history for centuries, has been rediscovered because of a friggin' bill.
Thus is the irony of fate. And an interesting lesson in history, I would say.

Stay healthy. Or get well soon. Seeya around in three months or so. =)

[Kilo11]

Glad you ask Kilo, and really happy seeing someone care for this. I really am.

No worries. I have always cared for this, but in your last update you said you were taking a hiatus, so I didn't want to pester you until a fair amount of time had passed But I will be glad when you get back to it!

I work in E-Commerce. I also have the luck to work in an awesome company. Crazy things are happening right now, and E-Commerce is nowhere as stable as you would imagine, but it will definitely be the future. I am one of the happy ones to be quite busy right now.

Well, it's good you still have stuff to do. To be honest, I kind of wish I would be forced out of work for a few weeks. Doing the PhD is obviously something that can be done from home, so I am still muddling away with my work, but I could use a couple weeks without that.

I hope everyone of you will be well after all of this. Currently is not the time, but I have a lot of awesome in petto. It all requires more time, but if it is anything the current year tells us, then it is that time itself will solve it all. Hasn't this AAR explained it already? Hasn't history done so already?

Well, I will be eagerly awaiting the return of Derc!

You want your little dosis of history and TW? Well, ok. Here, have it:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Most of history is written by coincidence. Proof?
So I came across a little song called "Jerusalemlied" when browsin' around Youtube. A classic, aye?
Astounding song, and incredible to listen after a long day, drinking something (tea, of course!), and slowly falling to sleep with some candlelight.


Great song, and not only that: depending on how you sing a tale, it may feel completely different. The same lyrics. The same story. Two different feelings. Not bad. A butterfly in the right or wrong place can make all the difference.

Whatever, I'm ramblin', but it's true. So, back to topic: What's funny is that the name of the composer, Walther von der Vogelweide, now one of the most famous German poets before Goethe, was found completely by accident - because of something every man hates, no matter his rank - because of an invoice.
For all his fame, Walther's name is not found in contemporary records, with the exception of a solitary mention in the travelling accounts of Bishop Wolfger of Erla of the Passau diocese: "Walthero cantori de Vogelweide pro pellicio v solidos longos" ("To Walther the singer of the Vogelweide five shillings for a fur coat.").

So one of the most famous songwriters of a nation, having been lost to history for centuries, has been rediscovered because of a friggin' bill.
Thus is the irony of fate. And an interesting lesson in history, I would say.

Stay healthy. Or get well soon. Seeya around in three months or so. =)

Thanks for the links. It is indeed a cool song, and the story to go with it is fitting (and ridiculous). Thanks again!

[Turkafinwë]

I'd say a lot of people care for this, I for one (or I wouldn't have written a review for it ). I agree with Kilo, a great piece of history, showcasing the irony of life. It made me chuckle, so thanks for that.

I too will be awaiting the return of the illustrious Derc!

Hope you guys stay well as well.

[King Athelstan]

Derc king stands alone





... Not alone!

[Derc]

Even though Belisarius did his best to rekindle the flame of Rome, the old ages came to an end. Time passed, and over the course of over a thousand years the world has become a very different place. A place that now looks to outshine the glory from these old days so much more.

Anno Domini 1778.

Throughout history few have been able to control the destiny of their fellow men.

Some had potential, but decided not to use it.
Some had potential, but fate played against them.
Many had no potential at all.
But there were a few. Some that had the luck and the ambition to stand above all the others, and the fire to change the world.

Sometimes a thousand men makes no difference at all, while a single man in the right or wrong place can make all the difference.
May a man named Napoleon Bonaparte be such a man?
The circumstances looked promising, but only time and his abilities would tell.



Some men live their life under the shades of their olive trees, in their simple, comfortable world.
Some other men are not so lucky. Or they decide against it.

Napoleon was the latter. The comfortable zone is a pleasant one, but hardly anything grows there.
Napoleon had to leave it; was forced to leave it.

And such this is the tale of a little boy that left the shades of the olive trees behind to become the most influental man of an entire era.

An era that was then named after him.




Total War: Napoleon
Napoleon's Campaign
France

Starring: Too many

So I'm back. Somewhat. Indeed, just like this AAR suggests, time passed and things have changed. I'm pretty sure we all changed since the last update. And yet we are the same.

I have always cared for this

That's the single best sentence one could deliver. Thanks. :,)

Well, it's good you still have stuff to do. To be honest, I kind of wish I would be forced out of work for a few weeks. Doing the PhD is obviously something that can be done from home, so I am still muddling away with my work, but I could use a couple weeks without that.

Hope y'all are doing fine. How's it going?

Well, I will be eagerly awaiting the return of Derc!

Eek! Here I am again! Get in zhe bunker!

Thanks for the links. It is indeed a cool song, and the story to go with it is fitting (and ridiculous). Thanks again!

Ridiculousness is what describes the world.

I'd say a lot of people care for this, I for one (or I wouldn't have written a review for it ). I agree with Kilo, a great piece of history, showcasing the irony of life. It made me chuckle, so thanks for that.

If life gives you lemons, chuckle. Still grateful for your review. Awesome thing.

I too will be awaiting the return of the illustrious Derc!

For illustrious men have the whole world for their tomb

Derc king stands alone
... Not alone!

We're all together in this

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Derc]

Napoleon - Napoleon's Campaigns
Table of Contents

• #0: Start
• #1: (1778 - 1793 CE) "Liberty, equality, fraternity"
• #2: (Early April 1796 - Late September 1797 CE) "In politics, absurdity is not a handicap"
• #3: (Early June 1798 - Early March 1799 CE) "First feelings are always the most natural"
• #4: (Early March 1799 - Late January 1800 CE) "Mad, is he? Then I hope that he will bite some of my other generals!"
• #5: (Early January 1805 - Early March 1805 CE) "History repeats itself because no one was listening the first time"
• #6: (Early March 1805 - Early August 1805 CE) "The best way to keep one's word is not to give it"
• #7: (Early August 1805 - Late December 1805 CE) "Close combat, man to man, is plainly to be regarded as the real basis of combat"
• #8: (Late December 1805 - Late May 1806 CE) "Strongest minds are often those whom the noisy world hears last"
• #9: (Late June 1806 - Early December 1806 CE) "History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind"
• #10: (Early January 1807 - Late August 1807 CE) "Imagination rules the world"
• #11 (Bonus): (18th of June 1815) "The final argument of kings"

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Overall Campaign Ambience

🏠 House Rules & Special Goals

• HON HON HON!: Show the faults of the engine by doing something really gamey
• Total Conquest+: Every single region in every campaign must be conquered
• Cannonball: Kill a general with a cannon (doesn't matter if enemy or allied)

⭐ What makes this campaign special (in my opinion)

• 24 turns per year
• The era, of course
• Campaign split into smaller parts and different maps
• Focuses on a man instead on a nation
• Perhaps the most historical TW ever

[Cookiegod]

Wahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! FINALLY! U r so slow smh

[Derc]

Napoleon: Total War
Napoleon's Campaigns
#1

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Every story needs to begin somewhere. In the case of a human life, the most important factors are set long before a man can make his first decision. Where you are born, who you parents are, how they decide to raise you - it all forms you long before you can think about it. Napoleon was lucky. Sort of. His family belonged to the nobility. His father was a Corsican noble who fought for the independence of the isle, even before the Genoese sold it off to the French. He may have failed, but he was allowed to keep his possession and his honor. He then embraced the French nationality; his children were to be raised as French. Napoleon was to be educated in the military career. His father mentored him, and he would accompany him to the mainland, leaving the familiar shades of their olive trees behind. The countryside of the mainland was no less impressive. Neither were the cities he saw, the people he met. A boy discovering the world. To live is to learn and to be tested every day. Napoleon was tested early on, like everybody else, and the test provided answers. Napoleon had a strong personality, and he was intelligent enough to use it. He was no quiet soldier. He was a leader. A boy making his first weightful decisions. At school, Napoleon learned about the arts of war. He learned about the world. He learned of the world that was before. The glory of it. Caesar. Alexander. How single men formed the world. This admiration did also form him. Truly, Napoleon was astounded. The right man in the right place can make all the difference. And he just became a man. He was no mere boy anymore. The world was radically changing. There were a lot of opportunities. All one had to do was to discover and to seize them. ⚙️ Authors Note - Technical The numbers in the Tutorial Campaign are very odd. That's because of the limitations of the engine. Neither can you command underage units, nor can the engine set a different date. Looks like that is entirely calculated by turns. It is as if god himself played into Napoleon's hand. The ultimate time of change was there. The French Revolution. The old order was to be swept away, the king to be beheaded. The people were sick of it all. 📕 History & Culture - "Is it a revolt?" - "No, sire, it is a revolution." One has to think about it; just what enormous event the French Revolution was. Speaking as of Juni 2020, the taste of public instability is still fresh, and so it is all the better understandable how the people must've felt back then. The old way was eroded. The people had enough of all that has happened; of everything that was burdened on them. Now imagine; the mob was not only going on the streets to demand change. It actually enforced it. Thousands and thousands of people. All united against the common order. The Revolution brought a new order. It did so with a ferocity that is still feared today. And yet for what? Many people dead or suffering, only to end up in a absolute rule once again, even it is was just temporary, so to speak. The Revolution made an impact and was successful in the end, of course, but it could've turned out very differently, as Napoleon himself has shown. The old order was swept away with fire, blood and fury. A force unmatched, the new order unleashed. The people were finally free. France was to become a Republic. The common man was to be equal to everybody else. Unshackled from any chains at long last. So they thought. It was also this time when Napoleon's father died. Unlike many others of that time, Napoleon's father had the luck to die a natural way. No matter. Death is always cruel. Napoleon would now have to find new mentors, and then look after himself. Domestic policy actually plays a role in Napoleon Total War, if only a minor one. Depending on what ministers you have assigned, you get different bonuses or penalties. They don't matter that much, however. Some of these ministers seem to be fantasy. Some are real. Another thing. Look at that. 5 recruitment slots in Paris! One can recruit a quarter stack in a single turn! Insane! Napoleon Total War enacts the building system of Empire, which means many buildings are spread over the whole province, and you have to expand them individually. These background texts are really a joy to read. Lots of interesting and oftentimes funny information. This applies to everything, especially to ships. Gosh, there were some nerds at work. Napoleon picked up on his military career. He graduaded and returned to his homeland. It was this time when he questioned his loyalties. There was a lot of confusion in these rapid times, especially in Corsica. Napoleon found himself in a war between royalists, revolutionaries, and Corsican nationalists. Latter were still led by Pasquale Paoli, once an ally, then an enemy of his father, and a fierce fighter for Corsican independence. Napoleon ended up being loyal with the revolutionaries. He played a role in the subjugation of the Kingdom of Sardinia, a kingdom of the first anti-French coalition, opposing the revolution. However, the campaign to Sardinia was a failure. The island kingdom could not be defeated. But Napoleon was able to make first proper experience in a war. Suffering a defeat in one's first campaign may be bitter. Napoleon didn't gave up, and he had the chance to test his skills again soon after. The city of Toulon was taken over by royaltists, supported by Great Britain, and it was Napoleon's task to liberate the city. Indeed, if he would want to progress anywhere in his life, he would need to succeed. It was one more test, and Napoleon would not fail it. We learn how spies work and send one to Toulon. Preparation is key, after all. Except that spying out settlements does not give much benefit in NTW. They have some lovely portraits, at least. Fate dealt a significant blow to Napoleon when he found out that the manual battle button was blocked and he was forced to autoresolve. Whyyy?? To learn how overpowered autoresolves are? Well...thanks. Now we know Napoleon's secret. The liberation of Toulon was an important day for Napoleon, both in his career and personally. The first humble steps were taken. Weekly Dose of (Anti-)Napoleonic Propaganda Crying for a New Toy British caricature depicting Napoleon as a spoiled brat.

We have a new format which is called 'Weekly Dose of ...'. This is a little addition that provides some detached content fitting the AAR's theme for the sake of humor, immersion, or just to have a good time. Only a few selected campaigns will have it.
The name also gives a hint about the upload schedule, even though I can never say for certain when I will update something.

Don't forget, this Thursday marks the 205th anniversary of Waterloo!

Started just in the right time to remind you of it.

Wahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! FINALLY! U r so slow smh

Come on! Only 1242 years have passed between the end of the last campaign and the start of this one.

#egalitéfraternitécookié

Napoleon approves

[King Athelstan]

HON HON HON, looks like Meat/frog leg is back on the menu boys! I stopped playing it myself after my game crashed in the decisive moment of the decisive battle (I have a screenshot somewhere), so I uninstalled after that. Looking forward to seeing you push the engine to greater glory, gore and glitches!

[Alwyn]

The weaving together of actual history with the story-telling of the campaign (including its odd quirks, such as having to auto-resolve at one point) is done with great élan. No doubt, this confident young Corsican's desire for command of any army will soon be satisfied. The Weekly Dose is a cool idea; I imagine you could also have fun with Napoleon quotes in writing about this campaign.