Can't even beat Denmark without reloading. What a nord. Actually no I take that back. What a Swede. -son is Swedish! Danes and Norwegians use -sen. No wonder you lost, Dercsen. Now sell me your oil!
Can't even beat Denmark without reloading. What a nord. Actually no I take that back. What a Swede. -son is Swedish! Danes and Norwegians use -sen. No wonder you lost, Dercsen. Now sell me your oil!
Oh, that is a rough start. But honestly, you should know better. That is a classic exploit. It is the single best way to crush the Mongol stacks in vanilla Med2: pepper their units while breaking siege equipment, and then watch 'em scatter. That is the only way I ever handled the onslaught when I played as Eastern factions. Super gamey, but so cost-effective!
I didn't know that about the catapults, that's really interesting! Intrigued to see what happens next, especially with those recruitment restrictions - certainly one of more unique challenges so far
Osaka
A Shogun 2 AAR
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Otousan
D E E P L O R E! I shall add it to the Chronicles of the Derciverse.
You should've taken a page from Cookies book there and ended the campaign with the horrible failed siege at Aarhus. Another campaign in the pocket right there. I do admire your dedication to the challenge. Denmark is defeated, now the real battle begins.
Not all, some are stuck indoors reading a certain German's AAR . Your writing style and screenshot combo continues to smash though, always a pleasure reading.
And I'm think I have to call you Der C from now on.
Well... I might have tried to a couple of times as a kid before downloading the files that makes Norway actually able to recruit stuff.And of course Norway. Norway is legendary. I know of no one who really gave it a honest try
I expect you to do Kalmarunionen the justice it deserves forwards. To glory!
Proudly under the patronage of General Brewster of the Imperial House of Hader
Proud patron of 4zumi, Akar, CommodusIV ,Swaeft and Peaman
Medieval 2: Total War
Teutonic Campaign
#2
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That's a lot of replies from many different people. I'm amazed. :
Well, let's just write it with two 's' then. I don't know your dads, but you people will have to be your own dads now.
What about Iceland? I can remember how my dad and me watched the Football World Championship 2016, when Iceland beat England in the quarterfinals. He couldn't keep jesting about their names, almost all of them ending with (s)son. Somehow I explained it to him, but in the end there were more questions than answers.
Doesn't matter. Their forenames are all the same anyway.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
And yet you scolded me in the Battle of Waterloo when it came to gamey moves
Hey Hitai, nice to see you're still around . Yes, it's cool to have learned something new, even after having played that game for so long. It's interesting that the devs have actually considered such a situation.
It's a horrible universe, but still a better one than Twilight.
I'm not Caliph Cookie, and this setting is too great to do such a thing.
Denmark isn't defeated yet. This isn't Rome II anymore, where you could slap down entire civilizations on the go. Even though Denmark would've deserved it.
Hooray! The king is here! An actual Norwegian is visiting the Norway AAR. A secret goal has been achieved. Now this AAR really has everything that it needs.
That's oldschool af, but you can do so if you like.
Doing the Kalmar Union on Norway's terms: without changing the name or the flag to something ugly. And also without Kalmar.
I enjoyed catching up with the previous update as well as the latest one. I don't blame you for needing to re-start when you're playing a faction that can't recruit units. I see what you mean, money is especially important in this campaign. It's interesting to see what the AI does and doesn't take into account when deciding whether to attack, I like finding out about those aspects of the game.
This is good to know! I've been playing these games for... damn, like over a decade. Oof. Apparently I'm getting old. That's not cool.
But anyway, I've been playing the games for a while, and I never knew that 70% was still okay. That is the last time I overgarrison a settlement. Those peasants can just get a little unruly, and I will ignore them!
And this too! How did I not know this?! And here I was training up assassins, which is one of the most grindy and annoying things to attempt to do in any TW game. RNG is just the worst with assassins. Or at least, that has always been my finding. 25% chance that your general will be killed? Welp... he dead. 90% chance your full subterfuge assassin will successfully kill some random brigand captain? He waits to fire his poison dart for literally like 30 seconds, until some random chick sees him and screams, and then he runs into a dead-end alley and gets... well, his own dead end. Freaking annoying. Next time, I am just doing this method here. And besides, this method is fair. If I spread an army over a huge area for the sole purpose of finding and killing one dude, I am just gonna assume that we can successfully kill that one dude. And no more training necessary
This is an amusing way to "conquer" the map. But hey, if it's effective, do it!
Hilarious!
I will always scold you for such things. Hypocrisy will never stop me from running my mouth!
All in all, this was a fun update. I like the buying out of things. It seems like a risky, and somewhat ridiculous way to move forward, but that is basically what I am expecting from this whole endeavor. And besides, you're right that your ability to use the cash in other useful ways is pretty limited, so have at it! I think your next big move should be to ally with the Mongols. Barbs from the north, barbs from the east, and Europe in between... sounds like a nice way to carve up a continent!
Medieval 2: Total War
Teutonic Campaign
#3
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Lots of things are different, and when you are actually forced to consider every one of your steps, having to analyze stuff very closely, the game becomes a very different experience. One that it should be, in my opinion. It's a similar feeling like between Rome II and Attila. I can definitely recommend the challenge. Harsh, but also great fun.
But you can finally have a good whiskey without being a weirdo. Drinking with dignity becomes much easier in old age, as apetor proves. Skål Statskog! Aaahh.
As an IT guy, Frontend even, it's the most natural thing for me to never truly trust a GUI.
70% can be dangerous, though. It only needs one spy or some squalor for your settlement to be past the breaking line. In that case you can usually just recruit some cheap militia. If you're not Norway, of course.
Haha. A classic. Cookiegod may tell you a tale.
USA did it with the French in Louisiana and Russia in Alaska, so yeah, why not? Capitalism, yeah.
You are a true man of the present.
Ridiculousness and limitations is what decribes this campaign perfectly.
Nay . We are no barbarians anymore. We play the friendly Norway from modern times. Pacifist, open to immigration, and still completely immune to the cold.
Keeping the Mongols around is a really bad idea. I'll show later why that is the case.
As long as they keep their distance...
Well said.
What the WHAT? Why are there ships? And how are there ships? Isn't Uelzen a landlocked province? Where are those ships supposed to spawn if you do hire them?
Hahahahaha. I love that even in the bitterest of defeats the Danes still choose to roflstomp the Swedes rather than deal with the actual aggressive foe on their doorstep. But who can blame them? Dirty filthy Swedes
I think I have heard this tale. If I remember correctly it involved you essentially trolling his kingdom for ages, and him using hundreds of thousands of man-hours trying to find one guy who was camped in the hills of southern France. All I can say is that if you're triggering Cook, you're probably doing something right
Boring. Be a viking! They are far more fun to party with!
I think the AI is so super fond of recruiting artillery because that's the most expensive/highest rated unit recruitable in cities, which they have a lot of, and thus spam them more. I think.
And good stuff dude! You're going to need as many generals as you can get by the looks of it
Proudly under the patronage of General Brewster of the Imperial House of Hader
Proud patron of 4zumi, Akar, CommodusIV ,Swaeft and Peaman
May the constant reloading begin, ye filthy Cheater
Oi Kilo careful with what you say. Unlike C I cannot be defeated by the AI. I have an IQ of 255+1
Those victories do look heroic, considering the odds. How did you manage to defeat 286 men with just 21?
The dialogue between Dieter and Wolfgang is hilarious!
Looking at the Balance of Power list, Norway looks wealthy, productive, populous but defended by very few (not surprising when you can't recruit regular units) - does this mean that the AI factions see your nation as an easy target?
Medieval 2: Total War
Teutonic Campaign
#4
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It's entire regions where mercenaries spawn, e.g. Germany_region, Scandinavia_region, etc. On top of that there seem to be even more mercs in these little village regions.
At first I thought they really invaded by sea, but then I figured out that the Danes seem to have had an army lingering around in the woods for quite some time. Spooky.
There are many tales. I particulary remember our EB2 Hotseat, where he got swarmed by Seleucid assassins. And of course all these adventures where his assassin got killed with 95% success chance. We all know that feel.
Do you say King Athelstan or apetor are no fun people to party with? I don't know, but at least I know they wouldn't define 'partying' by throwing an axe at me or by pillaging my home. Well, to be honest, I'm not even sure about that.
That's actually a really good explanation.
They are really easy to get. Let's conquer the Baltic by adopting a few random dudes.
Should just have reloaded when that guy failed against that Polish noble, huh? Nah. Secretly I wanted war. Even failure was ok for that.
The overflow that made Gandhi throw nukes in Civilization has actually become an widespread example that even gets mentioned in universities to explain the phenomenon.
It was the tactics shown in the previous chapters. Divide et impera. Tbh I find it a little gamey to lead the AI on like that, so usually I "play fair". Do not have that luxury here.
Dieter ruined it all.
I suppose they do, but they seem too busy with their own problems. Of course it would only be a matter of time until that changes. It didn't take long for the Germans to backstab me. Perhaps they just wanted Norway's oil.
Last edited by Derc; February 21, 2021 at 02:45 PM. Reason: Can't have Comic Sans in my own post, even as a quote
At first I was just lolling because your best spy is unsurprisingly from a place where my grandmother used to live (and those nosey neighbours make indeed for really good spies)
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Then I noticed...
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Hold on...
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Wtf.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
I really don't think Norway won this war Derc
On a sadenote: RIP Welf
3k denars for 75 Spear Militia and 15 Dism. Feudal knights? Sounds like a pretty swell deal.
And aye, IIRC the general poll works out that you'll always get adoptions and MotH more frequently along as you have more provinces than generals.
Proudly under the patronage of General Brewster of the Imperial House of Hader
Proud patron of 4zumi, Akar, CommodusIV ,Swaeft and Peaman
*sad German noises* but wait there's more. Just beyond the Polish border are some more Germans and this time they (really) have God (steroids) on their side. Ave Maria!
Medieval 2: Total War
Teutonic Campaign
#5
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Fun thing is that I originally planned to show this picture......but decided against it in the last minute, having it replaced with the subjugation of the Swedish rebels instead.Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
It looks like TW uses names mostly based on whole cultures, not particular countries. I saw names with unfitting locations in many other TW's too.
Norwaystan is open to immigration.
Welf doesn't die that easy. He survived the French and so many other atrocities. It was just one more step for him to become the bitter old man we all know and love.
The prices in Norway are a little higher, I have heard.
Yeah, it's like a predecessor of Rome II's 'Imperium' level, only for generals. Tbh it's dumb to get so many adopotion offers. There was a campaign where I forbid myself to adopt anyone at all. The Crusades Campaign, to be precise. The game became so much harder. It was awesome.
Germans seing Norway blitzkrieging Poland be like: "Gott im Himmel!"
Having been in that Hotseat I can testify that Derc in a dress can be quite irresistible. To one of my generals, Vico the beautiful, may he rest in peace with his name remembered evermore, marriage to Derc was as inescapable as the plague. Derc was to blame for both. I'm not saying it was sexually transmitted I'm just implying it!