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Thread: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: June 29]

  1. #341
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Oct 1]

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11
    You see a couple... Well, I won't lie, their sex tape would be super hot, but Mun'at and Mubsamat are probably not getting together Turk Tharin would flip if they did!
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    But I don't think you meant an actual couple, I'm just jerking your chain... and oh how you love that
    I do love a good yanking once in a while.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11
    It is interesting that you see the two of them together as the force to do this though. I think Mun'at has that in him, but Mubsamat is more a product of her environment, and that environment is very much more interested in looking to one's (narrowly defined view of) own. If Mun'at gives her the right incentives, she could be brought along, but on her own, liberation and unity are not really things she's be wont to pursue. But I may be wrong. Sometimes characters surprise me
    Indeed. Character tend to lead a life of their own. One decision falls into another and the character you envisioned has changed. I'm not saying this is how it is going to go, I merely see potential for it to go that way, I saw in Mubsamat the potential when she opened up to Mun'at and showed humility and genuine respect. She is a very interesting character and continues to intrigue me which I would say is a huge compliment to your writing .

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11
    It's okay Turk. We love you anyway

  2. #342
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Oct 1]

    Hadramawt (or however it is spelled) is an incredible interesting region. It's just so ... remote. So distant. Alien. Far away from everything else.
    A short part, with a little, evil cliffhanger. You rascal. Looking forward to the next part.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11 View Post
    Should I come join you in the MAARC? We could be buddies over there, and if no one else joins, we'll just make a fire and chill. Whaddaya say?
    Sounds good. Will post there in the next couple of days.

  3. #343

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Oct 1]

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    Your writing captures well the harshness of the environment they're travelling through. The reaction of the Nabati to the harships they endure, and Mun'at's response, comes across well. I'm intrigued by the question which provoked so much thought in Mun'at.
    I am glad you see that Alwyn. Getting the language right, so that it fits a thematic turn, can sometimes be tricky, and it is one of the biggest reasons I always read things aloud to myself. Seriously, all you writers out there, after you've written something, read it out loud. You will hear the cadence so much better, and you will recognize if it really fits the way it should. The sound of words is just so important, and a good out-loud reading will show you that.

    As to the question, it will begin to be dealt with presently

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Indeed. Characters tend to lead lives of their own. One decision falls into another and the character you envisioned has changed. I'm not saying this is how it is going to go, I merely see potential for it to go that way, I saw in Mubsamat the potential when she opened up to Mun'at and showed humility and genuine respect. She is a very interesting character and continues to intrigue me which I would say is a huge compliment to your writing .
    This is something I find really cool about writing. You can plan and plan, and sometimes those plans even work, but most good character moments just happen. You set up some plot moment, and then while you're writing you realize that your characters could only do one thing. That then sets other things in motion, and before you know it, your story is doing its own thing. It is so interesting and also fun to watch your people just doing their thing, rather than deciding that they must do this or that. Definitely one of my favorite aspects of writing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Derc View Post
    Hadramawt (or however it is spelled) is an incredible interesting region. It's just so ... remote. So distant. Alien. Far away from everything else.
    A short part, with a little, evil cliffhanger. You rascal. Looking forward to the next part.
    The Hadramawt* seems really cool and desolate. Unfortunately, I don't have too much of it in the story, as 1) most of what the Nabati do there is the same as what they've been doing before, and 2) the bit that would be different is something I want to keep hidden for reasons of building later suspense. So while there is lots of cool description I could give for that area, you unfortunately won't get any of it I hope the other descriptions I have everything in the story make up for this dodged opportunity though


    *(Spell it how you wish; it is transliterated from Arabic anyway, so the spelling is just a guide to pronunciation, and not really "correct" anyway).
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  4. #344

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Oct 1]

    Continued from Chapter 9 - Part I


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 9
    Into Comfortless Lands


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part II)


    The sun was low in the sky, and Mun'at, with Rana'in by his side, happened upon Shullai Ha'Maleki, who was speaking with one-eyed Haza'el and the rogue Khalil. Mun'at approached slowly, casually, noting with some pleasure how much the young prince had grown. Shullai had hardened like all the rest, but he had also gained a sense of quiet and a reserved strength, qualities unthinkable in the headstrong boy Mun'at had first met in Elath. The prince had become artful of speech, deferential in his mannerisms, and daily he demonstrated an ever more refined understanding of the simplicity of their task, and the subtlety that would be required to achieve it. However, for all that, he had more to learn still.

    "General," Shullai called out companionably as Mun'at neared, "would you settle a debate we have been having?" Mun'at answered with a soft smile and nod, signaling Shullai to continue.

    "Haza'el, Khalil, and I have been musing over why we left the Saba' to come here, rather than helping them to hunt their renegade lord." the prince went on. "The captains say we could not have hoped to catch the rebel Saba', so there lay no reason to remain there, but I know that cannot be true. I say we came simply to bring more tribes to our cause, as we have been doing since leaving our home so many months ago. Which of us has the right of it?"

    Mun'at shook his head in mild amusement. "Who says only one of you can be right?" he asked with an air of gentle reproach. He then fixed Shullai with bright eyes, adding, "But why do you say Haza'el and Khalil cannot have spoken truly?"

    Shullai Ha'Maleki appeared suddenly uncertain. "There are so many of us," he began weakly, "and the Saba' captain, Tharin, said their enemy was already greatly weakened. Surely we would have been able to defeat the rebels in battle."

    "Oh, yes. In battle, we would certainly have bested the man they call Zaadi." Mun'at agreed. "So why do you think he would have given us battle?" Shullai remained silent, and the General continued. "Young prince, you know that we march to muster the strength of Arabia, that we might one day stand against the Greeks that yearly expand further into the lands that are our home. Tell me, if they were to attack tomorrow, bringing every spear from Alexandria, Babylon, and Antioch, would you go out to meet them? If they outnumbered us by a hundred to one, would you still stand and fight?"

    "Yes. And I would die, if need be." Shullai replied with an edge of defiance.

    "I believe you would, young prince, and that is because you are stupid."

    Shullai stood for a moment dumbfounded, until, to his credit, he lowered his eyes, waiting silently for Mun'at to proceed.

    "A man may be proud, and a man may be clever, but seldom may a man be both. When the pale-skinned Greeks think to strike us on our own soil, it is only a fool who stands his ground. For standing your ground will earn you nothing but an early grave, and what good are you to your people when your bones are slowly bleaching beneath the noonday sun? No. When the Greeks come, you pack your pride away, and you flee before them, leaving a scattering of gold in your wake, if you must. You make them certain that they wish to follow you, and then you lead them down winding valleys, over broken fields of fire-burned stone, and into the heart of the desert. We know our land, and she will keep us, but she has little mercy or understanding for foreign men with thoughts of empire who would seek to tame her wilds. Run and flee. Tuck your coward's tail between your legs, and day by day your enemy will weaken. Run longer, and they will falter. Play the craven's game long enough, and they will fall. Then you may unpack your pride, turn your mount about, and ride back with your head held high. You will pass men, and the remains of men, who thought they had defeated you, but in their arrogance they will have slain only themselves."

    Mun'at paused, reached out a hand, and gently raised Shullai's chin, turning the boy's gaze back up to the General's eyes. "Do you understand?" Mun'at added quietly, a teacher speaking to his pupil. The prince nodded. "The rebel Saba', Zaadi, might well choose to fight," Mun'at went on in conclusion, "but we cannot trust to that, and in those mountains that are his home, he would hold every advantage. We would know nothing of the land or our enemy, and among the high peaks our numbers would gain us more risks than rewards. Just as the Greeks could not hope to defeat us if we relied on the deserts we know, so too would we be powerless against Zaadi when he flees to his own haunts. That is simply the way of things."

    Shullai nodded again, a look of embarrassment and shame dancing behind his eyes. Taking pity on the boy, Mun'at let out a small chuckle, clapped the prince on his back, and said, "But you also are right, Shullai Ha'Maleki. These captains, Haza'el and Khalil, know we could not have chased Zaadi through his own territories, but you know that we march for a reason; to unite Arabia. To that end, we are indeed now going to the Hadramawt, to learn if the tribes of that place will follow us and lend aid when the Greeks make war, as we know they one day will. So you also spoke truly when guessing such an intention from me.

    "But there is another reason why I wished to leave the Saba'..." Mun'at said, his voice trailing off, his gaze growing distant.

    "And what is that?" Khalil asked after a moment of silence.

    Mun'at did not answer the question. Instead, he swept his gaze about himself, quickly taking stock of the river of men and beasts moving over the desert sands, a stripe of life in a land too seldom graced with any. "Let us walk together." he finally said, setting off in a direction just off the Nabati's line of march.



    Continue to Chapter 9 - Part III
    Last edited by Kilo11; November 01, 2020 at 02:15 PM.
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  5. #345
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Oct 1]

    Great to see the young prince return to the forefront. I was beginning to wonder what had happened to him and what role he was going to play. It looks like he has the bearings to become a great monarch one day. With a mentor like Mun'at and the strife of the journey I think he has a great future ahead of him, unless disaster happens of course. The desert is an unforgiving place and many dangers surely lie ahead.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11 View Post
    This is something I find really cool about writing. You can plan and plan, and sometimes those plans even work, but most good character moments just happen. You set up some plot moment, and then while you're writing you realize that your characters could only do one thing. That then sets other things in motion, and before you know it, your story is doing its own thing. It is so interesting and also fun to watch your people just doing their thing, rather than deciding that they must do this or that. Definitely one of my favorite aspects of writing.
    Fully agree on that!

  6. #346
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Oct 15]

    The connection between Mun'at would fight the Greeks, and how Zaadi would have fought Mun'at (if Mun'at has pursued him) is well done. I wonder whether Mun'at will reveal his other reason for wanting to leave.

  7. #347

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Oct 15]

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Great to see the young prince return to the forefront. I was beginning to wonder what had happened to him and what role he was going to play. It looks like he has the bearings to become a great monarch one day. With a mentor like Mun'at and the strife of the journey I think he has a great future ahead of him, unless disaster happens of course. The desert is an unforgiving place and many dangers surely lie ahead.
    Tell me about it. I have so much work to do editing this story so that characters don't get dropped for such long stretches. Realistically, Shullai should have been in far more of the stuff, with his own character developing along the way, so that we can see how he got from our starting point with him (Elath) to where he is now. I hope that I can take the time at some point to stretch this story a lot and make sure every bit gets its proper due!

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    The connection between how Mun'at would fight the Greeks, and how Zaadi would have fought Mun'at (if Mun'at has pursued him) is well done. I wonder whether Mun'at will reveal his other reason for wanting to leave.
    I am glad you liked that bit Alwyn. That is actually something I was more proud of, and with which I got a lot of inspiration from T.E. Lawrence's Seven Pillars of Wisdom. In that book there is really interesting stuff about guerilla warfare, insurgency, and general military strategy, and I think it is so important to make clear how crucial landscape is in some places. Obviously, terrain always makes a difference, but there are particular places where it can destroy an unprepared force. I thought this point was a good area to discuss that a bit, and I am glad it worked well.

    As to your second point, the other reason Mun'at had will be revealed.....


    .....


    NOW!
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  8. #348

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Oct 15]

    Continued from Chapter 9 - Part II


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 9
    Parting Ways


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part III)


    Shullai, Khalil, Haza'el, and Rana'in followed in silence, each keeping his thoughts to himself, yet their traded glances betrayed a curiosity and uncertainty in each of them. Something troubled their commander, despite the fact that they seemed to be nearing their ultimate goal, and the captains of the Nabati wished to learn what it could be that so weighed on his mind.

    When Mun'at had put a small measure of distance between himself and the ranks of the army of Edum he slowed, allowing the four men behind him to catch up, and once back together, he then began walking parallel to the rest of the Nabati.

    "As you know, nearly a moon ago, we and the Saba' left Ma'rib together." Mun'at said, resuming his broken speech. "Their Queen, Mubsamat, had told me of the rebel Zaadi, and she asked that we aid her in bringing him to justice. I was at first hesitant to lend our spears and bows, for the troubles she told me of seemed to be internal affairs, things in which he had little right to meddle, yet she pleaded her case well. She reminded me that we are bound by common cause to the Saba', and you men know that I am not one to be called a a fair-weather friend. But even more than that, Mubsamat told me that if we did not help, the other nobles of the southlands would not trust us. She said that either we would aid her or become enemies of all the clans of the upland plateau. That was something I could not risk. Not then, at least. So I agreed to bind our strength to hers, that we might together accomplish her task. And after all, that is the ultimate purpose of our campaign anyway, to bring together the scattered tribes of Arabia, that we might rely on one another in times of need.

    "At any rate, as you know, we and they marched together, the first united army of north and south the world has ever seen. The Queen's hope was that our numbers might frighten the lord Zaadi into submission, that we might win without once needing to raise our spears in anger. We were to lay our camps, present the fullness of our might, and then together meet Zaadi and speak with him. That was the course of action we agreed upon, and that was what I believed would come to pass; a joint counsel where all sat as equals, as emissaries of the people in whose name we spoke."

    Mun'at paused, looking at his captains one by one, his face a mask of uncertainty. "She lied to me." he said flatly. "She set herself far out on the plain before Zaadi's fortress, that she might intercept him and speak without me, and I cannot even say whether she would have told me of the meeting, had I not caught her only moments after its conclusion. When I asked her of what was said, she buried her first deceptions under more of the same, only deigning to tell me her true designs when circumstance made her lies intolerable. And that is the other reason why I bid us leave the Saba', that I might for a time be free of the Queen's webs and snares while I consider our coming moves."

    There was a brief moment of silence, finally broken by the deep baritone of one-eyed Haza'el. "You had us strike across this desert because she lied to you?" he asked with incredulity. "That seems a paltry justification for such an act." he added, momentarily forgetting his place.

    Mun'at did not rise at the comment. He halted, turned to Haza'el, and shook his head, giving a look of mild exasperation as he did so. "I did not turn us from the Saba' out of some sense of wounded pride. You know me better than that, Haza'el." he said brusquely. "I broke our force from hers because I realized that, to my shame, I allowed us to be led here without having any knowledge of these people whom we have befriended. I realized that we are bound to them, and we do not know who they really are. Since meeting Tharin and his men outside Bakkah, our daily plans have been ever more influenced by Saba' words, our trust given before it was earned, to the point that I let Tharin speak to his court on our behalf. And then to learn that his Queen has been lying, and about so many things... It makes me wonder whether they truly are allies to us, or if we are merely seen as tools, poor fools of the desert who may be unleashed on Mubsamat's enemies when it suits her, set aside when not.

    "So I took us away from the Queen, away from Tharin, away from all the arrogant sedentary tribes of the upland plateau. We go to the Hadramawt, whose people are said to be kindred of the Minaeans, our new friends, and we will bring them to our cause. We bring them over just as we have the thousand tribes of the Hijaz. And I will then ask them of the Saba'. I will learn something of these people who think they've a right to deceive and use as it suits their needs. Then, and only then, will we return to the Saba', knowing who they are, and whether they are worthy of our friendship."



    Continue to Chapter 10 - Part I
    Last edited by Kilo11; November 16, 2020 at 02:50 AM.
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  9. #349
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Oct 15]

    Fair-weather friend is wonderful wordplay. I like it a lot.

    Mun'at shows his intelligence once more. I think he is spot on about the Saba and that his suspicions of their people are correct. They see the Nabati and friends as nothing more than desert nomads whom they can use in their politics and schemes. I wonder if the proud Saba will ever follow a, in their eyes, mere desert nomad, or if they will have to be beaten into submission. Still I'm curious on how the Hadramawt will react to Mun'at's grand confederation of tribes and what they will have to say about the Saba should they join in peace. I doubt they will have anything good to say about them.

  10. #350
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Nov 1]

    My reaction is very similar to Turk's, I'm eager to see what the Hadramawt will say about the Saba' and how easy it will be to bring the Hadramawt over to the cause of the Nabateans.

  11. #351

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Nov 1]

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Fair-weather friend is wonderful wordplay. I like it a lot.
    Thanks. I don't think I came up with it though. I remember it from somewhere, though I can't remember where exactly. Some sailing book perhaps. It is definitely an established expression though, just one that has (sadly) fallen into general disuse. At any rate, I too love the sound and feel of it, and I encourage you to use it in your own works!

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Mun'at shows his intelligence once more. I think he is spot on about the Saba and that his suspicions of their people are correct. They see the Nabati and friends as nothing more than desert nomads whom they can use in their politics and schemes. I wonder if the proud Saba will ever follow a, in their eyes, mere desert nomad, or if they will have to be beaten into submission. Still I'm curious on how the Hadramawt will react to Mun'at's grand confederation of tribes and what they will have to say about the Saba should they join in peace. I doubt they will have anything good to say about them.
    I won't say much in response to this, as I don't want to give anything away. Also, the next couple chapters will be all about the Saba', and you will have to guess what Mun'at and friends might learn while they are "off-screen", so I really don't want to tell you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    My reaction is very similar to Turk's, I'm eager to see what the Hadramawt will say about the Saba' and how easy it will be to bring the Hadramawt over to the cause of the Nabateans.
    The tribes of the Hadramawt are much like the Minaeans north of Saba' (and in fact share some kindred with the Minaeans), so there wouldn't be huge surprises in how the Nabati are received, especially now that the Nabati have some Minaean friends latched onto their train and whatnot. The surprises that might come up while Mun'at is out east will, however, remain hidden, and you will see what happened there when he comes back to the upland plateau. I hope the shift to Mubsamat and Zaadi is entertaining in the meantime!
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  12. #352

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Nov 1]

    Continued from Chapter 9 - Part III


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 10
    A Traitor's Challenge


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part I)


    An icy wind tore through the high passes, dragging knives of cold in its wake. It whistled between the peaks, its chill voice too often the only sound to be heard, the only melody to play in the desolate places above the clouds. Yet the jagged cracked teeth of the Sarat Mountains neither needed nor deserved any other tune to belie their true nature. Their shelter protected the lands of the Saba', and it was their presence that ensured the annual rains that sustained the upland plateau, but the mountains themselves were cruel and barbarous things.

    Fitting that they should provide refuge for Zaadi. Tharin thought to himself, his gaze sweeping over the gray towers of stone. His eyes then slowly returned to the mountain trail he and his men had been following, and to their grisly find.

    Up and down the pass the rocks had been painted with the clotting crimson of blood. It was the same ghastly spectacle they had been finding all along the Sarat since Zaadi's escape; any soul who attempted the crossing over the mountains would be attacked, without thought to their allegiance. Their wares would be parted from their owners just as surely as the latter were parted from their lives, and as if to add some faceless menace to the whole affair, the bodies would be spirited away as well, leaving nothing but blood, a scattering of debris, and the eternal elegy of the wind whistling through the high places. Zaadi's allies were closing the roads to the north, shutting the upland plateau in upon itself.

    The tribes of the Saba' were traders, like nearly ever other people of Arabia. However, where their sundered cousins busied themselves with fish, fruit, linens, and other such paltry things, the people of the high plain devoted their efforts to a greater good, a luxury of kings and emperors: frankincense. The liban tree, from whose resin the incense was made, grew most strongly along the fringes of the high plateau, and the Saba' had long maintained their place in the world by making the precious substance a mainstay of their commerce. They traded it far and wide, and by it, they had garnered themselves more wealth than might be imagined. Yet by the actions of a single renegade lord and his few allies, that wealth would disappear in little time if nothing was done.

    There were ships which could carry the precious cargoes to the north and the kingdoms of the Mediterranean beyond, but the Saba' were not at heart a seagoing people. They owned few vessels, controlled fewer ports, and relying wholly on such means would result in the lion's share of their riches being split amongst captains and crews of foreign powers. It would not do. Yet the only overland routes that avoided the passes though the mountains were those that cut far to the east, skirting the great sand waste of al-Rub' al Khali. By all accounts, that road was free of Zaadi's brigands, but the inland desert could be just as dangerous as any band of plunderers, and was certain to be doubly as unforgiving. And even were that road to be safe, it would add weeks and more to any caravan's voyage. It too would not do. And so Tharin and his men had been patrolling the passes, hunting for any sign of the rebellious tribes, yet managing only ever to find sanguine tributes to their enemies' successes. They would need a victory, and soon, or no degree of cunning would suffice to keep Mubsamat atop her so recently won throne.

    Tharin stepped to the side of the trail, staring at a large outcropping of gray granite shot through with veins of pale green, the colors overwashed with blood. He then flicked his eyes up the pass, to where the furthest of his men were standing, perhaps fifty paces away. He knew those soldiers were at one end of the deathly scene, and Tharin himself was at the other, and slowly the captain's brow pinched in thought. After a moment so, his features again smoothed, though not fully, and he stepped toward a nearby soldier, a young man who had often demonstrated a sharpness of eye and mind that Tharin now needed.

    "How many strong was the attacked caravan, do you think?" Tharin asked, suspecting he already knew the answer.

    The young soldier looked at the scuffed dirt of the trail, the red-stained rocks to either side, his face pinching in thought as he did so. "I cannot say for sure." he finally answered, adding, "But by their marks I would guess they were forty to fifty in number. Certainly not far more nor less than that."

    Tharin fixed the soldier with an appraising look, asking, "And do you notice anything about the blood stains?"

    Again the soldier bent his attention to the ground and the rocks, this time with even more intensity, as though he knew Tharin had spied something already. His eyes roved this way and that, taking in every detail, until suddenly the man's head cocked ever so slightly to one side. "The blood..." he said hesitantly, his voice trailing off.

    Tharin looked on in silence, careful not to distract the other's exploration.

    "The blood is regular." he went on. "The pools and flecks are just where each man would be standing in the caravan."

    "And what does that mean?" Tharin pressed.

    "It means that none ran, and that none came together to fight side by side. They must have been ambushed, killed before they even realized the danger which lay over them. It is the only way so many could be slain without any managing to escape or to fight."

    "No. They were not ambushed. Not in the way you mean." Tharin replied matter-of-factly. Then, as if to explain himself, he gestured to edges of the trail. To one side, the road fell off into a series of slipping scree slopes, cataracts of gravel and shale. To the other, there rose a vertical wall of granite twice the height of a man, above which lay more slopes of loose stone. No man could have approached from either of those directions.

    "Then the enemy must have come from before and behind, trapping them. They had nowhere to flee to, and they were butchered like animals. Why are you smiling?"

    Tharin, who was indeed smiling, his eyes flashing with pleasure and malice, responded, "Because we now know that they are watching the passes, choosing their prey. They are not laying traps, they are hunting, and a hunter can be baited!"



    Continue to Chapter 10 - Part II
    Last edited by Kilo11; December 01, 2020 at 02:33 AM.
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  13. #353
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Nov 1]

    The change to the Saba perspecitve is not jarring at all and interesting in its own regard. Perhaps even more interesting to see than Mun'at's developments at the Hadramawt. (Like you said, it is a bit more of the same, Nabateans come to a tribe, go through some trial and the tribe joins or doesn't).

    The bloodied mountain passes with neither sign of bodies or fight must be a gruel thing to witness. In some way it is more menacing than if the bodies are present. Tharin seems to be in his element, hunting down a prey. The final sentence is powerful. It shows the ferocity of Tharin's nature and his shrewdness in strategy.

  14. #354
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Nov 16]

    Tharin sounds like a perceptive and clever commander. I agree with Turk, the end of this part is particularly effective.

  15. #355

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Nov 16]

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    The change to the Saba perspecitve is not jarring at all and interesting in its own regard. Perhaps even more interesting to see than Mun'at's developments at the Hadramawt. (Like you said, it is a bit more of the same, Nabateans come to a tribe, go through some trial and the tribe joins or doesn't).
    Good. And that was precisely what I was thinking; Mun'at might be our main protagonist, but not much new is happening with him, whereas the Saba' are having interesting times indeed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    The bloodied mountain passes with neither sign of bodies or fight must be a cruel/gruesome thing to witness. In some way it is more menacing than if the bodies are present. Tharin seems to be in his element, hunting down a prey. The final sentence is powerful. It shows the ferocity of Tharin's nature and his shrewdness in strategy.
    I thought so too. So much of what Zaadi is doing now is about setting pieces where they need to be and planning stratagems, and a big part of that is the psychological element of these attacks. So it is definitely good that you found it to be unsettling as well!

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    Tharin sounds like a perceptive and clever commander. I agree with Turk, the end of this part is particularly effective.
    He is. He has his faults too though. We've seen them earlier already, and might see them again. Just be prepared.
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  16. #356

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Nov 16]

    Continued from Chapter 10 - Part I


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 10
    A Traitor's Challenge


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part II)


    Over the following days, Tharin began spreading his men along the length of the Sarat Mountains, and when Mubsamat left to return to Ma'rib, he impressed upon her the need for even more soldiers. They would have to watch every pass, every road to the north, to find where their enemy was hiding. They would have to discover Zaadi's hole, and drive him from it.

    Mubsamat was not one to be gainsaid or resisted in her wishes, and she fulfilled Tharin's requests with ease, and soon enough the Saba' loyal to the Queen had been set about the task, scattered over the upland plateau with orders to watch everything that came to pass in the northern mountains that so long had protected them, that now harbored an adversary who would kill without cause. In seeking to cover every road, Tharin spread his forces thinly, but that, at least, did not worry him. Zaadi and his allies were neither faint of heart nor unskilled in war, but they were pitifully few in comparison to the legion the Queen now commanded. And besides, they had already chosen the war they would fight, one of lawlessness, treachery, and dishonor. Tharin had no fears that they would commit to anything so bold as an outright attack on armed men, even were they few in number. So he strew his soldiers far and wide, hoping to gain some knowledge of the comings and goings of his enemy, to learn how and where best to strike.

    Their first news came four days after the loose network of watchers had been put in place. A small band a day's march east of Sa'dah spied motion upon the flanks of Sarat. Not knowing what it was, but fearing the worst, they advanced up the slopes quickly, trading caution for haste. After all, Tharin's men had been told their enemy would not lightly give combat, and so the soldiers dashed forward without thought to danger, the only care upon their minds the fear that yet another caravan would be slaughtered.

    Their breath coming shorter with each passing minute, they careened their way upward with spears raised high and arrows strung loosely, making themselves ready for whatever they might find, until suddenly they rounded a large outcropping of rock and found the source of the moving shadows they had sighted from the plain.

    The Saba' soldiers must have cut a terrifying image, their faces contorted as they were with exertion and a fury to strike at their enemy, their weapons drawn and deadly, and so it was no surprise that the individuals they found were cowering in fear against the rocks that lined the mountain path. However, the frightened souls did not belong to any devils allied to Zaadi, but instead to a score of merchants, and judging by the thinness of their beasts, poor ones at that. Tharin's mountain watchmen had succeeded in nothing more than distressing men who already had much to fear in their meager lives.

    With awkward expressions and meek tones the soldiers begged the merchants' forgiveness, explaining hurriedly the cause of their terrifying approach. They then turned themselves about to head back to the valley and their place of watch, and they began walking. The shame of their mistake burned upon their cheeks, causing them to trudge with downcast eyes, and so they did not even notice the small shadows flitting over the rocks above them.



    Continue to Chapter 10 - Part III
    Last edited by Kilo11; December 15, 2020 at 04:55 AM.
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  17. #357
    McScottish's Avatar The Scribbling Scotsman
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Dec 1]

    What can you say, really? Take my rep and drown us in more sand and heatstroke!

  18. #358
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Nov 16]

    Tharin and Zaadi are fighting in a battle of tactics. Each move holds its own risk and rewards. I fear Tharin will have to sacrifice a lot of men if he hopes to ensnare the slippery Zaadi. A very good tense chapter.

  19. #359

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Nov 16]

    Quote Originally Posted by McScottish View Post
    What can you say, really? Take my rep and drown us in more sand and heatstroke!
    Thanks McScottish, and it is always lovely to see you around here! I must say though, I am waiting for you to drown us in some more stories of your own. I know you like beginning things and then dropping them, and maybe that has you hesitant to start something new, but to be honest, I'd be happy to read the beginnings of a hundred tales from you, without ever learning how a single one ends! You'vea gift for words and story, and you ought to share that gift as long as you can!

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Tharin and Zaadi are fighting in a battle of tactics. Each move holds its own risk and rewards. I fear Tharin will have to sacrifice a lot of men if he hopes to ensnare the slippery Zaadi. A very good tense chapter.
    Yeah. This is going to ramp up for sure. The main thing is that while Tharin is a good soldier, he is a not exactly the best judge of men (being liable to lock onto single characteristics, at the expense of overlooking the whole). Zaadi, on the other hand, is very similar to the Queen, Mubsamat, being sharp and wily as all hell. All I can say is that there will be deceit and cunning, and it is unclear who will come out on top at the end of it all.
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  20. #360

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Nov 16]

    Continued from Chapter 10 - Part II


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 10
    A Traitor's Challenge


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part III)


    Karab, Zaadi's lieutenant and a lord of the Athtar Yazi', that greater house of the Hashidi clan, watched in silence. He and his men were among the highest peaks, so far above the earth that they might have been gods. And thinking on the power they held, Karab believed there might even have been some truth to the thought.

    For weeks they had haunted the mountains, turning the passes to killing grounds, the caravan routes to graveyards. It was ugly and ignoble work, but it was the only course left to them. The false queen, Mubsamat, had seen to that. By guile and trickery and cold determination she had broken the will of the few houses that might still have halted her, that might still have seen the wisdom of joining Zaadi's confederacy. Their honor and fire had been quelled, and if that were not enough, the Nabati's northern rabble were now hers as well. For the moment, at least, those foreigners were gone to the east, to raise the Hadramawt no doubt, but they would return as surely as the sun would set and rise again. Before that happened, Karab would have to bleed his land, to give Zaadi his chance to strike.

    He stood in a smooth and flowing motion, careful to lean back toward the rocks to prevent his form being silhouetted against the sky, and Karab pulled his cloak tight about his shoulders. The people of his clan were born of the mountains, but Karab himself had never been at home amongst the windy, whistling spires of stone. Wide valleys under the hot sun, that was the world he loved, the same as his brother Hasan had.

    At the thought of Hasan, Karab pulled his cloak even tighter, hiding the tears at the corners of his eyes. It had been only months since his brother's death, in a place just like that. There had been a crack like thunder, though no storm was brewing, and the mountain itself had come down, tearing Hasan away in a cacophony of splintering granite and a long wail of anguish that Karab only later realized had been coming from his own mouth. The unforgiving Sarat had claimed Karab's brother, never to return him, but thinking back on that day, Karab wondered if indeed it had really been the mountains who were ultimately responsible. After all, he and his men were about to set in motion an eerily similar chain of events.

    He shook himself lightly, dispelling the disquieting thoughts, and he began to slowly pick his way downward, toward the loose stones beside which his men were softly chatting. As he neared, they quieted themselves, seeming to sense some portion of his chilled mood. Karab welcomed the silence, making no motion to allow them to resume their casual conversations. Instead, he leaned forward, peering down the serried slopes, watching the two processions turning from one another. The trading caravan was continuing its march over the high passes, the soldiers of the Saba' walking in the opposite direction, back toward the upland plateau. Before long both groups would be beyond his reach. Karab needed to reach a decision.

    He looked for a moment longer on the warriors below. At such distance they seemed small and fragile, and in the grandest scheme of things that really was what they were; small, fragile, weak, expendable. They were little men with little lives who had allied themselves with a serpent. Karab would not mourn their passing. And with that thought in his mind, he exchanged a handful of words with three men who were to stay behind, and he then began to quietly descend the mountain slopes, the rest of his soldiers coming silently behind.

    At first they moved sidelong, traversing the mountain as much as they were descending it. They needed to be sure they would not stray below the three men they had left behind. With rapid steps and a sureness of foot nearly rivaling that of the great rams of the peaks, they pressed onward. Over scree slides and along knife-edged clefts they scurried, their garments bound tightly about them to prevent the unpredictable winds from pulling them into the leering gulf of air, and before long they had brought themselves to the traders' road upon which the Saba' warriors were traveling. Karab and his men were ahead of their quarry, just as he had planned.

    Without a word, his Hashidi clansmen split to left and right of the trail, their forms melting into the rocks, leaving him seemingly alone upon the high pass. And Karab, for his part, settled into a calm and unflinching stance at the center of the road. He set his shield upon the ground, upright and leaning against his left leg, and his spear he held in his right hand, its butt digging softly into the loose stone underfoot as he leaned against it. And then, made ready so, he waited.



    Continue to Chapter 10 - Part IV
    Last edited by Kilo11; January 04, 2021 at 02:30 AM.
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