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Thread: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: June 29]

  1. #261

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Jan 15]

    Continued from Interlude


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 6
    The Highest Eagles


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part I)


    With Najran in their hands, Mun'at had given the Nabati a week in which to rest. The beasts were put out to the meager pasturage that could be found, while the soldiers took respite with their families, or, in the case of the younger ones, raucously went about the town trying to start ones. But either way, their lives became ones of ease, of long evenings together beside the fire telling stories, and mornings blessedly bereft of watchmen's horns. There were feasts and games held throughout the settlement and camps, and with each new dawn the Minaeans beside them seemed increasingly heartened by the northerners' presence, treating them more as sundered kinsmen rather than conquerors.

    The only ones who seemed not to profit from the delay were Tharin and those under his command. After taking the stronghold of Ma'in, the greatest enemy of the Saba' had been broken, and the southern captain had even had the good fortune to receive a messenger from his queen, yet rather than smiling, Tharin had instead retreated into himself, becoming quiet and at the same time restive. Mun'at did not know the cause of the Saba' captain's cooling moods, nor did he know what news he had learned from the queen's messenger, but he watched Tharin ever more closely, again wondering how far he could trust the southern soldier who acted the friend while at the same time keeping his own counsels. And then, sooner than any of the Nabati would have wished, their seven days were up, and the army of Edum resumed its march, prepared to finally gain the high plateau of the Saba' and see the lands of their new allies.

    Najran lay nestled amongst the upper reaches of Wadi al-Jawf, cradled between the first peaks of the Sarat range, and the green of its fields and orchards ran far into the mountains, until finally it met the seemingly impassable barrier presented by walls of black volcanic rock. They towered above and around the settlement, crowding it, and with his eyes upon them, Mun'at wondered how his people would ever move past them. The Nabati had conquered the entirety of western Arabia, united all of the tribes running the long length of the Hijaz, but on their own it did not seem possible that they would conquer these leviathan spires of stone as well.

    One hand shading his eyes from the sun, Mun'at turned to Rana'in, who stood beside him. "Old friend, would you have the Saba' captain sent to me." he said gently.

    Rana'in relayed the order to a runner, and before long Tharin stood before them. However, not knowing why he had been called, he did not speak, and for a time the three men quietly surveyed the serried ranges before them. Finally, Mun'at turned to the southern captain. "Tharin, I have spoken to the Minaeans here," he began, "and they have told me of a crossing into the lands of your country, and one which is broad enough for our numbers to move with ease." He then pointed west, toward the narrowing valley beyond Najran. "They say Wadi al-Jawf, that runs through this place, begins far into the mountains to the south. They say that if one follows it, it will leave you upon the high plateau within three days' time. Such a road is a boon for us, and I would gladly take it, but before we begin to walk that path, I would have your opinion on the matter. After all, we are entering your lands, and you will know better as to where our feet should tread."

    Tharin remained silent a moment, a calculating yet uncertain look in his eyes, and when he spoke, it was with his gaze averted, fixed on the horizon. "I would not take that road." he said half-hesitantly. "I would instead head east, and then south. By skirting the desert, we can avoid the high passes altogether, and it would add but little time to our march."

    "How much time?" Mun'at asked casually, and when no answer came, he repeated, "Tharin, how much time would it add? How long before we gained the lands of your people?"

    "Ten days. Perhaps more." he answered quietly.

    Ten days was not long, not a delay Mun'at would fear to endure, but something in Tharin's tone spoke of secrets and hidden endeavors. Seeking to draw them out, Mun'at pressed the captain with a question. "And what of water?" he asked. "We have walked the borders of the great sand desert already, and with each sunrise we found ourselves thirstier than the day before. Would this path you propose provide enough for our needs?"

    "There are oases and hidden wells." Tharin replied quickly, almost unthinkingly, and the speed of his response failed to provide reassurance, instead betraying the presence of some concealed purpose.

    Mun'at leaned to one side, placing his face before Tharin's and forcing the captain to look into his eyes. "Tharin, why do you wish to avoid the passes?" he asked gently. No answer came, and he added, "Why would you have us take a longer road, and one without the one resource we most need? Well?"

    Tharin's eyes fell to the dirt before him, and he mumbled a rapid response, too low to hear.

    "Speak up." Mun'at commanded, his voice suddenly brittle and out of place in the cool morning air.

    "I cannot say." Tharin muttered in small tones.

    His features hardening, Mun'at stared at the Saba' captain. "You cannot say?" he finally repeated, the words ringing with disbelief and an ashen mark of distrust. "Tharin, you are a captain of the Saba'," Mun'at continued, "but you are also an ally of the Nabati. Yet most of all, at this time, in this place, you are a soldier under my command. You will tell me why you wish us to avoid Wadi al-Jawf and the high passes of Sarat!"

    Tharin stood silent, his face a broiling sea of turmoil and doubt. His eyes darted between Mun'at, the mountains, the black hills, and all points between, perhaps hoping to find some answer to his trials. Yet for all his searching, he received no insights as to what course he should take. His gaze then fell onto his shield where the mark of the Saba' had been carefully painted, a white ram, its horns tracing nearly the entire circumference of the wood and bronze disc. Resolve filling him, Tharin then breathed deeply and looked at Mun'at, repeating, "I cannot say."

    "So be it." Mun'at snapped, his eyes narrowed and nostrils flaring. He then turned back to Rana'in. "We move out at once." he said. "Tell the men we are to follow Wadi al-Jawf through the mountains. And Rana'in," he added, "see if the people of Ma'in would afford us the company of a guide to show us the way." Mun'at flashed a barbed glance at Tharin. "After all, they seem a trustworthy enough sort, and we will need someone of these lands upon whom we can rely."

    Tharin opened his mouth to speak, but Mun'at raised a hand, silencing him before he had uttered even a single word. "If you wish to hold your secrets, then that is your affair, Saba'," hissed the Commander of Edum, "but a man who keeps his own counsels is not welcome within mine." Without another word, nor backward glance, Mun'at then walked away, Rana'in following silently behind, and Tharin stood watching their retreating forms. Then, slowly, and with a mournful expression fixed to his brow, Tharin gathered his men and joined the Nabati column marching up the wide avenue of Wadi al-Jawf. For good or ill, he had brought the northerners this far, showing them the paths to his country, and he could no longer abandon their number.



    Continue to Chapter 6 - Part II
    Last edited by Kilo11; February 02, 2020 at 03:05 AM.
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  2. #262
    Cookiegod's Avatar CIVUS DIVUS EX CLIBANO
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Jan 15]

    It's a nice update Kilo. Unfortunately I am of too ill repute to bestow thee my blessings. :/

    Other than that there's little to say. It's well written, I didn't find any mistakes I could point you to, and it's a good start into the new chapter, and I'm looking forward to see where the road through the high pass leads.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    From Socrates over Jesus to me it has always been the lot of any true visionary to be rejected by the reactionary bourgeoisie
    Qualis noncives pereo! #justiceforcookie #egalitéfraternitécookié #CLM

  3. #263
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Jan 15]

    Again the conversation between Mun'at and Tharin is written very well. The wills of two proud men colliding. I wonder what secret Tharin is holding and what the consequences will be for Mun'at's decision to take the mountain road. Like Cookiegod said, a good start to the new chapter

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11
    Sorry Turk. I know you liked Far'am, and if there were a way for him to live, I think I would've taken it. However, I was just following the events and characters, and there was no other way I could see that scene panning out.
    Like a river, a story has to follow its natural course.

  4. #264
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Jan 15]

    Like Cookiegod and Turkafinwë, I'd like to know what Tharin wouldn't tell Mun'at about - it's interesing to see Tharin's decision at the end, despite what Mun'at said to him, which must have hurt his pride.

  5. #265

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Jan 15]

    Quote Originally Posted by Cookiegod View Post
    It's a nice update Kilo. Unfortunately I am of too ill repute to bestow thee my blessings. :/

    Other than that there's little to say. It's well written, I didn't find any mistakes I could point you to, and it's a good start into the new chapter, and I'm looking forward to see where the road through the high pass leads.
    Thanks Cook. I hope the chapter is exciting enough for you all. In this one, some action really starts going, so it might be more engaging than some past bits.

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Again the conversation between Mun'at and Tharin is written very well. The wills of two proud men colliding. I wonder what secret Tharin is holding and what the consequences will be for Mun'at's decision to take the mountain road. Like Cookiegod said, a good start to the new chapter.
    I'm glad you liked it Turk. Mun'at and Tharin do indeed have a somewhat complicated relationship, one that is pushed and pulled by mutual respect and mutual misunderstanding. In many ways, they are the center of the clash of cultures, and that will probably continue as things go forward. But as you say below:

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Like a river, a story has to follow its natural course.
    I will follow the story as it unfolds, and see what happens with those two fellows

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    Like Cookiegod and Turkafinwë, I'd like to know what Tharin wouldn't tell Mun'at about - it's interesing to see Tharin's decision at the end, despite what Mun'at said to him, which must have hurt his pride.
    Well, you will find out soon enough (not the coming update, but one after). And I am also glad you liked the end. I wasn't sure about that for a while, because the dialogue seemed right, and true to both characters, but for about a day, I wasn't at all sure what Tharin would do after that conversation. I had to really consider his character, his mission, and his loyalties to be sure that he would remain with the Nabati after such a confrontation. I think I have been true to him though.




    EDIT: I also am just about finished with a nice map of southern Arabia, so you can all better visualize where places are. I just need to decide on a couple details about presentation, and then I'll add it here. I'd say it should be up by later today!
    Last edited by Kilo11; February 02, 2020 at 03:03 AM.
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  6. #266

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Jan 15]

    Continued from Chapter 6 - Part I


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 6
    The Highest Eagles


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part II)


    Where Najran lay, al-Jawf was broad, its walls nearly lost in the haze on the horizon, and between the northern and southern hills lay farms, orchards, and the wending green stripe that marked the course of the annual river. However, as the Nabati ascended the wadi, slowly climbing higher into the Sarat Mountains, the valley rapidly diminished. To either side rose sheets of basalt and dull obsidian, the dark stones periodically brightened by an unexpected line of quartz or swirling granite the color of the sea, and with each hour the stones pressed ever further in. For the entirety of their first day of march, that was the only sight the Nabati saw, blue sky above, black earth below, and a narrowing road between.

    During their second day walking the base of al-Jawf, the land remained much the same, yet thankfully the rocks to left and right stayed their slow advance, instead running parallel to one another. The wadi ran straight and smooth, always south, and the army of Edum moved swiftly, crossing from the desert province of Ma'in into the high fertile lands of Saba' without further hindrance. The Nabati had not yet truly gained the upland plateau of the Saba' heartland, and so could not rightly claim to have entered the country of Tharin's people, but a thinness in the air bore witness to how near they had already come. It was enough to set an ease in their hearts, and Mun'at was smiling when they halted that evening for a brief rest before their final push.

    As they arose on the third day and began their march, Mun'at moved back through the ranks, searching for Tharin and his men. Upon leaving Najran, the southern soldiers had abandoned the vanguard where they had so long walked beside Khalil's raiders, and though the General of Edum did not know exactly where they could be found, he was certain they were still with the Nabati. He pushed back and forth through the stream of men and beasts, and after perhaps an hour of searching, he found them trudging in the dusty gap between Shullai's companion cavalry and the Harra tribesmen who followed them.

    Mun'at rode up to Tharin and dismounted, setting himself level with the Saba' captain, and for a time he remained silent. Tharin, seeming little displeased by Mun'at's stil, held his tongue as well, and the two commanders walked side by side without a word passing between them. As they marched together, Mun'at turned his eyes to the warriors of Tharin's troop, seeking some clue as to their sentiments, whether they were glad to be regaining the lands of their home, or whether they shared the mysterious hesitance that Tharin had been showing since their departure from Najran. Sweeping his gaze this way and that, he spied some men with smiles, with looks of ease and comfort on their faces, but there were just as many with flat expressions, masks for their feelings. Sensing that he would learn little by such surreptitious activity, Mun'at resolved to simply ask Tharin what was troubling him, hoping that the Saba's earlier reticence had been washed away over the previous days' marches.

    "Tharin, we are nearly upon the lands of your home." Mun'at began in conversational tones, a mark of camaraderie turning up the corners of his words. With a glance at the southern captain, at the cloud over his vision, he added, "Yet you seem to show no joy for that. Does something trouble you?"

    Tharin turned to Mun'at, eying him carefully. "Yes. I am troubled." he finally answered, growing quiet and distant the moment he had finished speaking.

    "Well," Mun'at probed, "what is it that troubles you?"

    Tharin said nothing, his gaze lost somewhere in the middle distance, his jaw tight. Mun'at, however, continued to stare at him with a searching look in his eyes. "Is it to do with why you wished to avoid this pass, these mountains?" he asked .

    On hearing the question, the Saba' captain's vision locked with Mun'at's, but still he remained silent. Then, after a short time, he began to speak, matter-of-factly and without compassion. "Where you come from, there is a king, the one and only person you would address as Malek, as your lord and leader. But the nation of Saba' is not so simple as yours. There are kings and queens aplenty, and more sheiks, sharifs, and lesser nobles than you would care to know. This land is bound together not by blood, friendship, or notions of loyalty, but by treaty and common cause, by the collected will of all of the clans of the high plateau. It is fragile, and it is precious, and it would be beyond foolish to do anything that might upset the balance of these tribes here. But you would not understand that."

    Tharin then again grew quiet, and Mun'at looked on him with puzzlement and a trace of uncertainty. "Well, what of that?" he asked evenly. "I do not see why or how that would necessitate that we take one road or another."

    The Saba' captain shook his head slightly and let out a soft grunt of exasperation, adding, "No, you do not see, nor did I expect you to." With a final look of reproach and disdain, he then began walking more quickly, leaving Mun'at behind, and the Nabati general watched him go. Again, and not for the last time, Mun'at wondered what it was that Tharin refused to tell him. Yet more than that, Mun'at wondered whether Tharin could at all be trusted.

    With their fruitless conversation at an end, Mun'at remounted his horse and returned to the company of his friends and captains riding at the rear of the vanguard. However, he spoke to no one about his meeting with the Saba' captain. Instead, Mun'at rode in silence, contemplating how best to handle the southern warriors in his charge. Before embarking on their present endeavor, the General of Edum had never known any man or woman of the lands of South Arabia, but in his naivety he had assumed they would be much the same as the Nabati, the Lihyanites, or the Minaeans. Yet with each new day, and each exchange of words between himself and the Saba', Mun'at became more certain that these southern people were in many ways alien to him. Their speech and bodies bore traces of common kinship with that of his tribes, marks of sundered fraternity, but their minds were utterly unlike those of the Bedouin whom Mun'at knew, and he was becoming more aware and more concerned about that fact.

    While his horse followed those before it, Mun'at allowed his mind to idly consider what he knew of the Saba', and what he did not, and as he did so he examined the land about him. Over the course of the morning, the walls of Wadi al-Jawf had gradually receded, becoming lower with each hour of march, and more distant as well. The peaks no longer crowded about the Nabati's line of movement, and they had lost much of their sheerness as well, looking more like hills rather than mountains. However, Mun'at knew that was only an illusion. The road they traveled had risen steadily over the past days, and the base of al-Jawf had simply, at long last, nearly gained the heights of the Sarat range. In truth, the seemingly low mounds about them were the caps of monumental towers of stone, their foundations rooted in the depths of the earth and propping up the high plateau at the southern tip of Arabia.

    Looking out over the landscape around him, the valley that had begun to feather into a thousand lesser gullies, and the ever more even ground between them, Mun'at became increasingly sure that the Nabati were upon the brink of the heartland of Tharin's country. They had not reached the plateau yet, for a low stripe of gray and brown hills still lay before them, but they were nearly there. With their shoulders erect, they pressed on, and when the sun was an hour past its zenith, the Nabati reached those last peaks, at which point their Minaean guide asked to be relieved, not wishing to enter the lands of a people who so long had been enemies to his tribes. Mun'at graciously granted the man's wish, sending him on his way with a small pouch of bronze coins and enough provisions to bring him back to Najran, and the army of Edum then took the final steps into Saba'.

    They began to descend the southern slopes of the low mounts, and immediately saw spread before them a vast plain that stretched to the horizon. The base of the plateau was, for the most part, level, but across its face were scattered a great many isolated peaks, black cones whose sides were covered in knife-edged lava-stone. Between these stark reminders of the land's fiery past ran a myriad of seasonal rivers, their inconsistent providence supplemented by dams, cisterns, and canals, and as a result of these, the country was more green than any place Mun'at had ever seen. There were still flows of sand and marks of desolation, but there were also orchards, plantations, and wide fields, all neatly gathered about the channeled waters that ran through the broad valley.

    Mun'at gazed on it all with a thin smile on his lips, and then noticed something that as yet had escaped his attention. To the west of where they stood, the plateau narrowed and thrust far into the ranges of Sarat, and looking towards that place, he saw in the sky a great many eagles, slowly circling, and one by one descending in long, lazy arcs. The point at which they met the earth was concealed by a low rise, but Mun'at could see it was not far distant, and a curiosity rising within him, he turned the army's line of march to investigate.

    At first they walked quickly, at ease, pleased to finally be within the realm of Saba', who by Tharin's word was their ally. However, as they neared the eagles' grounds, Mun'at and his men began to slow their impetuous feet. Besides the cry of the great birds, there was a still in the air, and more than that, an unmistakable scent. It was a thing all too familiar to the older warriors, something they would gladly forget and never again be forced to inhale. Carried on the soft winds were the metallic aromas of iron and blood, but their softer notes were blasted away by the overpowering and unpleasantly organic stench of refuse and meat left in the sun.

    Mun'at turned to his companions with worry in his eyes, but he continued forward. Step by step, he gained the rise, the reek of mortality growing as he pressed on, and when he finally reached the low summit, he was robbed of any pure air that might still have been within him. The general of Edum breathed out heavily as he saw before him a wide swath of scraggly grassland, the swaying blades of green stained red and half-concealing an army of corpses.



    Continue to Chapter 6 - Part III
    Last edited by Kilo11; February 18, 2020 at 06:25 AM.
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  7. #267
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Feb 2]

    That's a dramatic development! I wonder if what Mun'at sees when he reaches the low summit is linked to Tharin's warning that taking this road would disrupt the fragile internal politics of the Saba' (either way, I imagine that there will be more disruption in the future). It's interesting that Tharin described the internal dynamics of the Saba' as both precious and fragile.

  8. #268

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Feb 2]

    Thanks Alwyn. I won't confirm or deny your suspicions about what will happen in the next update (though I'm sure you can tell already ). Tharin's description is also an important note!




    And, as I promised, here is a fresh new map! This is one of Arabia Felix (Southern Arabia), and is meant to accompany the part of the story that takes place on the southern plateau!

    EDIT: Cookiegod gave me a suggestion/critique about the map I posted. I have now added a second version immediately below the first, and I would love to hear people's thoughts on which is preferred (and why, if that's not too much trouble to say as well ). I can also combine some features of one with the other, so if you like something more about the first, but also like something more about the second, then say both those things


    Map - Arabia Felix



    Arabia Felix (parchment back)



    Last edited by Kilo11; February 06, 2020 at 09:10 AM.
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  9. #269
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Feb 2]

    That's an impressive and helpful map! I like both and slightly prefer the second one. The parchment effect makes the second map a bit easier to look at (by reducing the brightness); I also associate the parchment-style background with historical maps, which seems appropriate.

  10. #270

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Feb 2]

    Hey folks, here with the next update of Written in Sand! Apologies for the delay in getting it out to you. I had intended to have it up over the weekend, but as I'm sure you've all noticed, the TW Center has been down for a couple days. Thankfully, it is now back up, and we can continued following our adventures!




    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    That's an impressive and helpful map! I like both and slightly prefer the second one. The parchment effect makes the second map a bit easier to look at (by reducing the brightness); I also associate the parchment-style background with historical maps, which seems appropriate.
    Thanks again Alwyn. And I also prefer the second version more as well. Send some love to Cookiegod about that, cause he sent me a bunch of ideas and critiques about the map, culminating in that final version there. I will add it to the OP now as well!
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  11. #271

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Feb 2]

    Continued from Chapter 6 - Part II


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 6
    The Highest Eagles


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part III)


    Zaadi's breathing was short, his eyes darting this way and that in panic. He had left his fortress days before, leading a warband with which he hoped to destroy Far'am's tribes that still lay in wait north of Ma'rib. His troop had moved quickly, pushing double marches in the hopes that they might catch the half-Qatabani intruders unaware, but they had not been swift enough. Far'am's people had, somehow, already learned of Zaadi's red deed against their lord, and without mercy they had shattered against the small force of Saba' spears and bows.

    At first, the two forces had fought on the dry plain between Ma'rib and Qarnawu, near to where the trespasser tribes had laid camp, but with their first clash Zaadi saw how sorely his men were pressed, how certain their defeat was, and so he ordered them to slowly retreat. His soldiers fought on until the sun was setting, giving ground with each sortie, and when darkness finally fell, they turned and fled with what speed they could. Zaadi led them north and then west, following the broken edges of the mountains, heading back toward his stronghold above the small settlement of Sa'dah. He had hoped to lose the pursuing enemy in the night, but with each sunrise his sentries spied the half-Qatabani following close behind, unwilling to give up their quarry, the man who had murdered their lord beneath the noonday sun.

    After days of marching with peril at their backs, the Saba' warriors had finally regained Zaadi's mountain fastness, yet the party that returned was not the one which had left but ten days earlier. More than half of them had been slain, both on that first day of fighting, and at intervals during their flight, when their enemy had been able to force them to give combat. The bodies of the fallen lay strewn across the northern plains of the Saba' plateau, and whenever Zaadi thought on them, he shuddered. The still forms of his soldiers, his comrades, lay caked in blood and dust, bereft of the rites of passage that would send them into the next world, and rather than a cool place of quiet repose, they had been abandoned beneath the summer sun. Their flesh would not be washed. Their bodies would not be cared for. They would be food for carrion, if they were lucky, and when the beasts had had their fill, any that remained would be left to slowly rot. However, it was not the memory of those lost that had set the current terror in Zaadi's eyes and heart. Rather it was what he saw before him.

    He and his men were again behind the walls of his citadel, but outside lay a small army. The encampment appeared quiet, reserved, as they had since they first arrived, but from the crest of his battlements, Zaadi could see a sort of determined activity in the besiegers' actions. Small parties roved the countryside, cutting the few trees that could be found, or tearing wood from the buildings that lay amongst the fields, and when they had gathered all that could be carried, they would then bring it back to their makeshift city on the plain. There, workmen set themselves to cutting and joining the timber, building ladders, towers, and battering rams, and by their activities it was distressingly clear what they had in mind. The half-Qatabani were preparing to storm Zaadi's fortress, his home, and from behind his walls he had no way to call his allies to his aid.


    Mun'at's army turned their backs on the field of corpses and marched southwest to escape the stench of that place, walking until the sun had disappeared behind the jagged western horizon. They then set a close camp, finding themselves suddenly unsure of this country above the mountains where they had expected to find friends. Fires were lit at the outskirts of their temporary home, and Mun'at ordered a double-watch of sentries to be posted, to keep wary eyes and ears on the dark land that surrounded them. With their numbers thus secured, the General of Edum then sent for Tharin, determined to finally pull some answers from the Saba' captain, by force, if necessary.

    By the time Tharin arrived at Mun'at's tent, the general was lost in thought, and he did not even notice when the captain slipped inside the canvas dwelling. Without a word, Tharin set himself on the dirt, beside a lamp which lit the space in flickering light and dancing shadow, and he then coughed softly, making his presence known. Mun'at's eyes flashed to where the noise had originated, and his gaze, which before had been distant with contemplation, rapidly focused on the man before him.

    "Thank you for coming." Mun'at said distractedly, adding, "Would you like anything?"

    "No. Thank you." Tharin answered, shaking his head.

    His duties of hospitality dispensed with, Mun'at then grew quiet, his breathing slow and deep. He stared at Tharin, longer than seemed necessary, and only when the Saba' captain had become visibly restless did the general speak. "Do you know why I have called you here?" Mun'at asked softly. "Why I would speak with you?"

    Tharin averted his gaze, but nodded. "The bodies." he said flatly.

    "Yes. The bodies." Mun'at repeated. "You have been a friend in deed," he continued, his voice marked by notes of uncertain fraternity, "but in your words you been distrustful, and, I dare say, untrustworthy. Tharin, there is something afoot in these lands, something which I do not understand, something in which I would not meddle without better knowledge of it, and I believe you know what it is. It is time that you told me what is happening here, and what news you received while we rested in Najran. It is time you spoke, or, I swear, it will be the worse for you."

    Tharin took a deep breath and exhaled audibly. "Yes, you are right." he began. "I did not wish to speak of it earlier, for it is a matter my Queen wished to inform you of herself, but it is clear that you must know now if we are to continue our road together. Yet before I tell you, I wish you to know one thing." Mun'at nodded lightly in answer, and Tharin continued. "What I tell you now, I did not know when first we met, and it is only in our last days together that I have withheld from you any knowledge which you sought. That is the truth, Commander."

    Mun'at nodded again, wishing for Tharin to tell his tale, but the General of Edum remembered the guarded words he had heard from the Saba' captain weeks earlier, long before the battle of Najran and the taking of Ma'in. Tharin could excuse himself, and perhaps even redeem himself, but one way or another, it seemed that lies would ever be mixed into the truths he told. It was something Mun'at would not forget, no matter how often the Saba' professed his honesty.

    "As you know," Tharin began, "I was sent by my Queen, Mubsamat, to extend and offer of friendship from the Saba'. The nobles of my country were unsure what to make of your army, or its actions, but Mubsamat knew that we could aid one another. And so she ordered me to find you and act as an emissary of my people." Tharin paused briefly and looked away, and when he again continued there was a veiled ire in his words, an unmistakable sense of barely contained rage. "After I had left, there arose a small group of Saba' lords who challenged Mubsamat, who threatened her, claiming her actions were not in the best interest of this land. She fought them, not by force but by subtlety and cunning, and she succeeded in weakening their ties to one another and to their allies. She had hoped to defeat them in her own way, by her own arts, avoiding conflict, but one of their number lashed out, drawing blood unlawfully. He killed a man in cold blood, and the tribes of the murdered responded in the only way that they could." Tharin raised an arm and pointed west. "The bodies we found, they belonged to these warring clans."

    Mun'at reached up, cupping his head between his hands, and a wave of weariness washed over him. "So we have entered into a land at war with itself." he finally concluded with a sigh.

    "Yes. Though it pains me to say so." Tharin agreed, shaking his head in sadness.

    The two men then sat in silence for a time, each alone with his thoughts. Outside, the watchmen's fires crackled and spat, and the soft noises of many sleeping mingled with the night song of insects and small creatures, but between the canvas walls of Mun'at's home there was perfect still. After what felt to be an age of the world, the General of Edum broke the quiet with a series of earnest questions.

    "You have been honest with me this night, Tharin," he said, "and so I would ask your honest opinion on one matter more. What should we do? If the people of your country war amongst themselves, where should we go? Where can I lead this army now, to show that it comes in friendship and peace? I ask you this, because I fear that if our intentions are not understood, the conflict erupting here will draw us in, and we will not be able to escape its grasp."

    Tharin did not reply immediately, a fact which made Mun'at inwardly glad. Instead, the Saba' captain looked down to the earth, his chin resting upon one hand, and he considered the question with due care. After a moment, his eyes fixed upon Mun'at, certainty gleaming within their depths. "We go to Ma'rib." he said, no trace of doubt in his voice. "You let the nobles look upon your army, and you tell them yourself what your intentions are. It is the only way they may be made to trust you. And when they accept your friendship, perhaps then we might also determine some way to end this civil strife that is bleeding my land." he finished in hopeful tones.

    Mun'at stared at him for a moment in silence, before nodding deeply. "Very well." he answered. "With the rising of the sun, you and your men will return to the vanguard, and you will lead us to Ma'rib, to the heart of Saba'."



    Continue to Chapter 6 - Part IV
    Last edited by Kilo11; March 02, 2020 at 01:07 AM.
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  12. #272
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Feb 2]

    Two beautifully written parts, really well done. It gladdens me to see Zaadi being punished for his cold-blooded murder of Far'am. Onwards to Ma'rib!

    Concerning the map I must say that, aesthetically, I like the second one more. The first one is clearer and doesn't put as much a strain on my eyes as the second one when trying to read the things on it. However, I just have exceptionally bad eyes so we have to keep that in mind. On the whole, two great maps that will considerably help us navigate Mun'at's journey through Southern Arabia.

  13. #273

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Feb 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Two beautifully written parts, really well done. It gladdens me to see Zaadi being punished for his cold-blooded murder of Far'am. Onwards to Ma'rib!

    Concerning the map I must say that, aesthetically, I like the second one more. The first one is clearer and doesn't put as much a strain on my eyes as the second one when trying to read the things on it. However, I just have exceptionally bad eyes so we have to keep that in mind. On the whole, two great maps that will considerably help us navigate Mun'at's journey through Southern Arabia.
    Thanks Turk! And I'm glad you like the developments in the Zaadi plotline. I can't promise anything with regards to how it will all end, but at the very least, there is no way Zaadi will escape without some trial and tribulation. Whether or not that does his lasting harm is something you'll have to wait for though

    I am also glad you like the maps. I actually quite like making good maps, as I myself am a huge lover of maps and images to illustrate places and journeys, and I'm happy the ones here are of use, and also aesthetically pleasing. If any more are needed, I will with certainty make them. Also, if you happen to want one for any particular area, just let me know. It takes me about a day to make a map, which is a bit of time, but I enjoy it nonetheless!
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  14. #274

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Feb 2]

    Continued from Chapter 6 - Part III


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 6
    The Highest Eagles


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part IV)


    Zaadi looked out over the darkened encampment, the pale moon above illuminating the lighter hues of the tents while casting all else in shade. The night was far advanced already, the few watchmen's fires on the plain below burned down to embers, and a gentle quiet lay over the land. Here and there a pair of sentries would briefly exchange hushed words, or a nighthawk call out to its prey, but aside from such passing interruptions, the only sounds to be heard were the somber melodies of the breeze brushing across the darkened earth.

    His eyes sweeping over the hushed country, finally resting on the horizon where the first blush of dawn was beginning to paint the sky, Zaadi leaned forward, resting his elbows atop the ramparts before him. He was all but alone on the crest of the battlements, but he knew that in the courtyard and keep the last warriors of his tribe were readying themselves for a final stand. There were no longer many of them left, and by all right they should have received aid, from the Hashidis under Karab's command, from the Houthis of the outer passes, or from any of a dozen lesser clans. But Zaadi's allies did not know of his plight, and so they would not come to his assistance. He and his men were alone in the fight that lay ahead.

    The half-Qatabani had completed their preparations, and the fields before Zaadi's fortress were dotted with towers, rams, and the odd cross-hatched pattern of ladders lying upon the ground. They were ready, waiting only for the rising of the sun, at which point they would attack. Zaadi was certain of that. And so he had bade all his men to prepare themselves, to have weapons in hand when the horns sounded and the battle began. Or at least he had bade nearly all of his men to be ready.

    The Lord of the Northpass leaned further forward, squinting against the dark, and finally he spied that for which he had been searching. Far out over the plain, just before the besiegers' camp, could be seen a number of small shadows shifting in purposeful unison. As they reached the brink of the enemy force they slowed, halted briefly, and then began moving again, sliding wide around the dull red rings of the near dead watchmen's fires. Zaadi watched intently, half-holding his breath, but his lips slid into a smile as he marked how the shades began to descend upon the long pillars of night that lay scattered about the plain, the heavy shadows cast by the towers and rams.

    Zaadi waited a moment longer, and when finally he felt certain, he turned to a bowman standing beside him. The sun would rise soon, and now was their last chance. The Lord of the Northpass nodded to the archer, and the man strung an arrow, the tip of its shaft wrapped in linen and soaked in oil. He then held the narrow stripe of wood to the flame of a torch fixed to the wall beside him, and shot the fiery brand across the sky.

    With the signal's flight, a number of things then happened in a remarkably short span of time. First, there arose a great cry from the half-blood watchmen on the plain below. Then, before the last sentry's voice had called out in alarm, there appeared small flarings of light all throughout the besiegers' encampment, each flash springing up at the base of one of the towers or rams which so recently had had their shadows deepened by the presence of cloaked figures. One by one, and yet seemingly all together, the minuscule sparks then erupted into blooms of radiance as the dry timber of the siege engines caught. The fires spread with violence, leaping from the wooden structures to the canvas tents surrounding them, and in an instant the half-Qatabani's temporary home was in utter disarray as they sought to quell the blaze sweeping over them. And in the chaos that ensued, the half-blood tribals hardly noticed when a score of men slipped past their outer sentries, heading in the direction of Zaadi's fortress.

    It took his saboteurs but a short time to cross the flat dusty plain, and before long they were walking beneath the wide arch of the main gatehouse, the rising sun gilding their forms in flashing gold. Zaadi descended the walls to greet them, to commend their bold actions, and when he reached the citadel's courtyard he saw them already receiving the praise and goodwill of the soldiers waiting there. The Lord of the Northpass pressed through the throng of men, moving toward the small group who risked and achieved so much, their numbers distinguished by the sweat on their brows and the soot and dust that stained their hands and faces. As Zaadi neared them, he was gladdened to see that none were harmed, and that seemingly all who were sent had returned, when he caught the eyes of the captain of the band of saboteurs.

    The man's gaze was heavy, his shoulders slack. All around him were joyous greetings, but a cloud hung over his countenance, unmoved by the merriment of the other Saba' warriors. Zaadi stepped toward him without hesitation. "What is wrong?" he asked simply.

    On hearing his lord speaking, the captain looked up, and his eyes, which before were distant, slowly came into focus. "Four of my men are missing." he answered in dead tones.

    At first, Zaadi said nothing in response, but he reached out and laid a hand on the man's shoulder, squeezing gently. After a brief moment so, he then opened his mouth to speak, but whatever message he may have been about to give was cut short when horns were heard blaring over the plain, the sound of their blasts ricocheting off the mountains behind the fortress. The noise was deafening and terrible, and over its din the Lord of the Northpass shouted as loud as he could. "To the walls!" he cried, punctuating his words with a rattle of his spear. Zaadi then turned and bounded up the rickety wooden stair leading to the battlements.

    In an instant he was again looking down upon the plain, this time with the accompaniment of all of his men, but the sight Zaadi now beheld was not the one he had so recently left. The sharp shadows cast by the rams and towers had been replaced by hazy shifting columns of shade, the result of the billowing smoke which blocked the light of the rising sun. And where before the long plain was still, it now shook with the motion of the entire army that filled it. The half-Qatabani tribes were advancing.

    Zaadi's men had destroyed the greater part of their enemy's siege engines, but he saw with worry that still remained a small number of towers, and perhaps a score of ladders as well. They possessed the means to gain his walls, and they clearly meant to use them. With every minute the warriors of the late Far'am moved closer, murder and vengeance in their eyes, until finally, just beyond the range of Zaadi's bowmen, they halted. They laid aside their horns, and silence again washed over the plain.

    Zaadi Il'Bayyin, the Lord of the Northpass, leaned forward, peering up and down the ranks that spread before him, searching for the reason why they had stayed their march. The foremost spear- and swordsmen stood shoulder to shoulder, forming a single unbroken line that stretched nearly as long as Zaadi's walls, and there was nothing in their dispositions to explain their hesitance; they had the power to swarm over his fortress with ease. Looking past them to the bowmen and slingers behind provided equally little knowledge. Then, near the center of the enemy formation, a narrow opening formed, through which walked perhaps a dozen men. They strode out their heads high, shoulders thrust back in arrogant pride, but Zaadi hardly noticed them. Instead, his eyes were fixed on four shambling figures being herded along by the company surrounding them. They were covered in dirt and blood, and whenever one fell, he was given a series of kicks and curses before being roughly hauled back to his feet and pushed forward once more.

    With a note of helplessness in his eyes, Zaadi watched as the missing saboteurs were driven before the half-Qatabani warriors, until mercifully the small party halted. They had come within shouting distance of the fortress walls, and one of the enemy's number stepped forward. "The lord of this place has committed evil against us," he cried out, his words oddly clear, "and we have come for justice." The man then turned briefly to pull forward one of the saboteurs, who was pushed to his knees before the half-blood soldier. "Blood for blood," he continued, "that is the way. But my people know honor, and we would not kill true warriors while the craven noble responsible stands free."

    "Then what do you want?" Zaadi shouted down.

    The man's eyes, burning from behind, flashed to him. "So you are the one who killed Far'am." he said coldly. "Then it is you that we seek. And what we want is for you to quit your citadel and give yourself over to us. If you do not, all that you hold dear will burn."

    Zaadi gazed down in silence, and he felt something he had not before. He felt unsure of himself. There were so many of them, twice the number of his men, and more, and they were driven by vengeance and hate, wellsprings of might whose power Zaadi knew well. The half-Qatabani before him could take the battlements, and if they did, not a man there would survive to see the sun set. He was sure of it.

    Zaadi Il'Bayyin, who called himself a lord, looked left and right at the soldiers standing beside him, and suddenly he felt very small. He was only a man. One man. He knew that. And the tribes of Far'am's people would destroy everything about him simply to have the chance to destroy him as well. Yet he could stay their hands. All he had to do was forsake himself, and in that final act he could spare the warriors of his tribes from the doom that now awaited them. To provide such a gift was in his power, and that act would indeed be lordly.

    As Zaadi considered what to do, there lay over the length and breadth of the plain a hush, an absence of sound so complete that it seemed fit to swallow all song and speech unto the ending of the world. And then, from high above in the mountains, came the piercing cry of a great eagle. In that moment of still, its call was immense, and the terror of its voice shocked Zaadi back to himself. He was the Lord of the Northpass. He thought to himself. Him and no other. And even if he were to go freely with the half-blood rabble that dared to challenge him, there was no guarantee they would keep their word. After all, they were little more than up-jumped shepherds and bandits parading as men, and they knew nothing of civilization or decency.

    His eyes hardened and he leaned forward against the ramparts. "I and these men do fear the likes of you," he called out in imperious tones, "for we are sons of the Saba'. You... you are nothing but vagabonds, and if you try yourselves against us, you will break to the last. So leave now, if you are wise, or if not, do your worst, and see what it avails you!"

    Below him, the man stood in silence, disgust and disbelief traced in the lines of his face. He then flashed his gaze left and right over the men lining the fortress walls. "Noble soldiers of the Saba'," shouted the half-Qatabani, "know that what comes next is not of our making. It is the price to be paid by those who would follow in the footsteps of a coward and murderer." He then pulled a long curved blade from his belt and slashed the arms and legs of captured saboteur that still knelt before him. The wounds were deep, but they would not kill quickly, and the man's screams echoed off the walls and mountains. With the wails still ringing in each man's ears, the half-Qatabani then stepped to another of the captured Saba'. "Give up your murdering lord!" he bellowed, fire in his eyes, and he slashed the second prisoner, doubling the cacophony of cruelty. However, Zaadi and the others upon the walls remained unmoved. In answer to their silence, the half-Qatabani proceeded without mercy to the next of his captives. His demand was repeated, as was his punishment, and when Zaadi still did nothing, the warrior on the plain moved forward a pace. He looked from the three slowly dying men to the noble on the walls, and suddenly his brow creased in sadness and pity. His gaze fell to his hands, to his fingers dripping with blood.

    "They are as he," he muttered to himself in mournful tones, "demons in the garb of men." The half-Qatabani then turned and stepped toward the final captive. The man's eyes were wide with fear, but the bloodied warrior set aside his blade and gently untied the prisoner's bonds. When the cords had been undone, he then held the Saba' soldier's hands in his and spoke softly. "You risked much to sabotage our weapons," he began, "and your courage and strength of will makes the gods smile upon you. Yet what of those you serve? Your lord would watch you die in the dust rather than answer for his own sins." The man shook his head, adding, "But I have slain enough brave men this day. You are free, and wherever you might go, we will not stand in your way."

    The Saba' soldier looked from Zaadi's fortress to the besiegers' camp, and after a moment he nodded to the half-blood warrior before him. He then ran as fast as he could toward the east, away from the noble who had refused to save him. The warriors upon the plain watched as he bounded past, but none moved to stay him. Their word had been given, and for poor men of the desert, it was oft the only thing of value they possessed, and so it would not be traded in poor faith. Zaadi, however, was unimpressed by the small act of kindness, and as soon as the freed captive was out of sight, he made his sentiments known.

    "Bastard sons of a half-blood tribe," he shouted down venomously, "do you really think we are fools enough to be taken in by such tricks? You cut down three men in cold blood, and your release of the fourth does nothing to erase such deeds. And know this as well," he called even more loudly, "all of you will die for the barbarism you have shown this day, and none will mourn your passing from this world!"

    The half-Qatabani warrior and executioner stared up for a moment, but he did not respond. Instead, he simply turned and began walking the short distance back to his lines, his head shaking all the while. When he reached the ranks of his men, he then called out a series of orders, the commands being relayed from man to man down the length of their force, and slowly the besieging army began to move forward, pushing their few towers toward the low walls of Zaadi's fortress. Their battle for the northpass was beginning.



    Continue to Chapter 6 - Part V
    Last edited by Kilo11; March 15, 2020 at 01:08 PM.
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  15. #275
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Feb 2]

    This part really made my blood run hot with excitement. It's like when you're at sea and the water starts to rise and fall with the promise of destructive waves and storm. I found it very enjoyable to learn more about Zaadi's character, perhaps his pride, that prevailed over humility, will lead him to victory. Or it might lead to his death and that of his people. I really liked this part:

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11
    Their word had been given, and for poor men of the desert, it was oft the only thing of value they possessed, and so it would not be traded in poor faith.
    A very enjoyable continuation of Written in Sand!

    Just a minor thing:
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    In the 20th paragraph it reads: His eyes hardened and he leaned forward against the ramparts. "I and these men do fear the likes of you," he called out in imperious tones, "for we are sons of the Saba'. You... you are nothing but vagabonds, and if you try yourselves against us, you will break to the last. So leave now, if you are wise, or if not, do your worst, and see what it avails you!"

    I think it was supposed to read "I and these men do not fear the likes of you,"

    Thought I'd let you know
    Last edited by Turkafinwë; March 06, 2020 at 05:55 AM. Reason: 11

  16. #276

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 2]

    O!M!G! Great update! (again) Can't wait for the next one...

  17. #277
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 2]

    An end to civil strife sounds like a noble cause, and a cause for Mun'at and Tharin to unite despite their differences.

    The reactions of Zaadi to the man's demands, and his reaction to the cry of the eagle, are particularly well done!

  18. #278

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    This part really made my blood run hot with excitement. It's like when you're at sea and the water starts to rise and fall with the promise of destructive waves and storm. I found it very enjoyable to learn more about Zaadi's character, perhaps his pride, that prevailed over humility, will lead him to victory. Or it might lead to his death and that of his people. I really liked this part:

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11
    Their word had been given, and for poor men of the desert, it was oft the only thing of value they possessed, and so it would not be traded in poor faith.
    A very enjoyable continuation of Written in Sand!
    Thanks Turk. When writing this part, I was somewhat surprised at just how intense it became, but I feel it works well, and is true to the characters.

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Just a minor thing:
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    In the 20th paragraph it reads: His eyes hardened and he leaned forward against the ramparts. "I and these men do fear the likes of you," he called out in imperious tones, "for we are sons of the Saba'. You... you are nothing but vagabonds, and if you try yourselves against us, you will break to the last. So leave now, if you are wise, or if not, do your worst, and see what it avails you!"

    I think it was supposed to read "I and these men do not fear the likes of you,"

    Thought I'd let you know
    Many thanks for the heads-up! I also make mistakes, and it is super helpful to be made aware of them

    Quote Originally Posted by JB2C View Post
    O!M!G! Great update! (again) Can't wait for the next one...
    Thanks, JB2C. And you need wait no longer!

    Oh, and thanks also for leaving little messages like the one above. It really is helpful for me as a writer to have some confirmation that people are liking it, so a short comment like yours is much appreciated!

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    An end to civil strife sounds like a noble cause, and a cause for Mun'at and Tharin to unite despite their differences.

    The reactions of Zaadi to the man's demands, and his reaction to the cry of the eagle, are particularly well done!
    Well, we will see what unites and divides a people as things progress. At any rate, Zaadi's boldness is definitely playing into Mubsamat's hands. What it ultimately leads to, I myself do not yet know...
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  19. #279

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 2]

    Continued from Chapter 6 - Part IV


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 6
    The Highest Eagles


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part V)


    After leaving the field of corpses, the Nabati had moved quickly. The upland plateau was smooth and well-watered, and for an army accustomed to the uneven blasted lands east of Hijaz, such country presented no hindrance to their travel. In fact, with each new day they found themselves more rested than before, and the few low ridgelines they did encounter were taken as diversions rather than impediments. As a result, they had crossed the greater part of the lands of Saba' in little time, and soon enough found themselves upon the outskirts of Ma'rib, the foremost city of the federated tribes of southern Arabia.

    They approached the Saba' capital from the northwest, crossing relatively empty country. The city had been built near the floodplains of Wadi Adhanah, which ran from the mountains in the southwest toward the great sand desert of al-Rub' al Khali to the northeast. The seasonal waters no longer ran freely, for in a previous age the people of the plateau had built the great dam of sadd al-'Arim to catch and collect the annual monsoon rains, carefully distributing the previous liquid by canals throughout the rest of the year. However, despite the criss-crossed network of waterways, the majority of the farms and outer settlements still traced the previous lines of the dry riverbed, leaving the surrounding land bare. And so the Nabati walked over a dusty plain, devoid of life, all the while seeing before them a great sprawling city surrounded by vast fields, and orchards larger than any that might be found elsewhere within Arabia.

    When the army reached the borders of the outer farms, Tharin, who marched in the vanguard, signaled a halt. Unsure of why he had done so, Mun'at quickly moved toward the Saba' captain with a questioning look in his eyes.

    "Commander, we can set aside our weapons and hold still our trumpets, but this will still remain an army." answered Tharin. He shook his head softly and added, "Until the lords of Saba' call you 'friend', this force cannot enter the city."

    "You are right, of course." replied Mun'at diplomatically. His brow then creased in thought, and he added, "Who, then, should go forward?"

    Tharin's vision flickered over Mun'at and the other captains of the Nabati, and he then spun to face Ma'rib, turning his back on them. He stood so for a moment in silence, his features pinched in contemplation, his momentary uncertainty thankfully hidden from the northern soldiers' eyes. He could enter the city with Mun'at and a few of the other more prominent commanders, and such an act would surely do the Nabati well, to allow them to at once present and explain themselves. But Tharin longed to see his Queen, Mubsamat. He wished to hold her, if only for a moment, before the long councils that would almost surely follow. Yet more than that, Tharin was certain Mubsamat would not wish for Mun'at to come withint the city before she had prepared the other nobles for his arrival. The Queen must have had some strategy planned already, some maneuver to strengthen her position in the court, and it no doubt would be best served if he the Saba' captain went to her first.

    Resolution smoothing his countenance, Tharin turned back to the Nabati. "I will go alone." he said evenly, betraying no trace of his inner thoughts. "I will tell my Queen that we have arrived, and allow her to send for us when the nobles have been assembled. That will be best, I am sure. In the meantime, my men will remain here, to act as your ambassadors and translators should any from the city come out to meet you."

    Mun'at appeared unsure of Tharin's plan, but whatever misgivings he may have held, he kept to himself. Instead, he merely nodded, adding, "Very well. We will wait here for your return."

    And with that, Tharin left the Nabati, entering the stronghold of his people alone, in search of the Queen and love he had left behind so many months before.



    Continue to Chapter 6 - Part VI
    Last edited by Kilo11; April 02, 2020 at 04:45 AM.
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  20. #280
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 2]

    Tharin is home but the danger has not passed, it has only begun. The schemes continue and Mun'at will have to trust the Saba Captain. A short and sweet part, Kilo11! I'm looking forward to the reunion of Tharin and Mubsamat.

    A heads-up
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    In the 6th paragraph, third sentence it reads: He could enter the with Mun'at and a few of the other more prominent commanders, and such an act would surely do the Nabati well, to allow them to at once present and explain themselves

    I believe the word "city" is missing between "the" and "with" in the beginning of the sentence

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