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Thread: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: June 29]

  1. #281
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 15]

    I wonder if it's significant that Mun'at's army seems to have been able to march as far as this through Saba' lands without being intercepted (politely or otherwise) by one of the Queen's armies - although I guess their original meeting with Tharin was the kind of interception I was thinking of. Like Turk, I'm looking forward to seeing what happens when Tharin finds the Queen (assuming that nothing has happened to her in these treacherous times).

  2. #282

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 15]

    Hey guys, I love writing on this piece and posting regular updates, but my PhD work is getting on top of me again. Given that, I am sorry to say that I think I will have to take an extended hiatus from this. Maybe like two or three months. I will hopefully be able to get back to it sometime in summer, provided I have made progress on my grad work by then, but I really can't make any promises. I am really sorry to again be bugging out for a while, but I hope you all understand and are willing to come back once I've returned to this.
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  3. #283
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 15]

    Good luck with your PhD work man (I've a couple of friends doing a PhD and know their free time is very limited).

    We'll be here when you return!

  4. #284
    McScottish's Avatar The Scribbling Scotsman
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 15]

    Have to mirror Turk here - best of luck with the PhD (you can do it!) and I look forward to the return of Mun'at and yourself both.

  5. #285

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 15]

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Good luck with your PhD work man (I've a couple of friends doing a PhD and know their free time is very limited).

    We'll be here when you return!
    Quote Originally Posted by McScottish View Post
    Have to mirror Turk here - best of luck with the PhD (you can do it!) and I look forward to the return of Mun'at and yourself both.
    Hah! I got you both. April Fool's!!!

    I have no intention of letting off of this, and even if I did need a break from writing for a bit, I have a fairly good backlog of updates ready to post, so there would be a long cushion in which you all would still get content. So have no worries lads, Written in Sand will be continuing without a hitch. I just wanted to get a small prank in yesterday. Glad it got someone Anyway, now to the response to the latest comments, and on to the next update!




    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Tharin is home but the danger has not passed, it has only begun. The schemes continue and Mun'at will have to trust the Saba Captain. A short and sweet part, Kilo11! I'm looking forward to the reunion of Tharin and Mubsamat.

    A heads-up
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    In the 6th paragraph, third sentence it reads: He could enter the with Mun'at and a few of the other more prominent commanders, and such an act would surely do the Nabati well, to allow them to at once present and explain themselves

    I believe the word "city" is missing between "the" and "with" in the beginning of the sentence
    Thanks Turk! The next scene with Mubsamat is indeed a good one, and a turning point of sorts, but before we get to that we have to go back and see how Zaadi is doing. The next update is all about him, and though it's a bit longer, it is an intense one that I think most will find engaging.

    Oh, and thanks again for providing the little pointers to the missing words. Your eagle-eyes are appreciated! :thumbups2

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    I wonder if it's significant that Mun'at's army seems to have been able to march as far as this through Saba' lands without being intercepted (politely or otherwise) by one of the Queen's armies - although I guess their original meeting with Tharin was the kind of interception I was thinking of. Like Turk, I'm looking forward to seeing what happens when Tharin finds the Queen (assuming that nothing has happened to her in these treacherous times).
    This is not really a spoiler, as all of this is somewhere in the text, but the reason is:
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    pretty much what you say; Tharin is the Queen's emissary, so no one else will intercept Mun'at. Moreover, Mubsamat is not yet really in control, but rather gaining control, so Tharin and his men are the only troops she can solidly trust yet. Also, the current events with Zaadi have created an odd situation where passes that might before have been watched by him and his allies may now be being ignored, since Zaadi's coalition is otherwise engaged with Far'am's tribals. But this will all become clearer soon.


    At any rate, the coming updates should be exciting, and will clear up a lot of these speculations, so stay tuned!

    P.s. The next update is a bit on the long side, but it is jam-packed with action, so don't let the length deter you. Just dive in, and I am certain you will be glad to have taken the time!
    Last edited by Kilo11; April 02, 2020 at 04:44 AM.
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  6. #286

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 15]

    Continued from Chapter 6 - Part V


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 6
    The Highest Eagles


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part VI)


    Arrows rained down from a cloudless sky, striking all across the plain that lay before Zaadi's fortress. The siege towers of the half-Qatabani attackers, however, continued in their stolid advance, their rears hiding tight presses of men seeking the cover of the heavy wooden engines. Each tower was unique, made, as they were, of supplies scavenged from all parts of the valley, yet as they slowly pushed forward, they began to look more similar. With each minute, ever more arrows flew toward them, and before long the high wooden structures were bristling with feathered shafts, making them look like great sea urchins come to conquer the land.

    Between the creaking towers moved close-packed units of desert spearmen, a small number of them carrying long ladders. Next to the lumbering hulks of the higher engines, the men seemed lithe and fragile, but they walked with cold determination, and were undaunted by the unbroken hail of fire that poured down from the fortress walls. With each volley, they simply raised their broad shields, locking them together above their heads, and continued on.

    As the attacking army drew closer and the Saba' arrows fell to such little effect, Zaadi called for his archers to still their bows. He then ordered them to quit the walls and go down to the stables and kitchens, where they were to gather straw, wood, and oil, and bring them back with all haste. The men looked at one another with uncertainty in their eyes, but all did as were asked, and as they filed down the spindly stairs hanging from the ramparts spear- and axemen climbed up to fill the gaps atop the battlements. The line infantry could do nothing until the army on the plain had gained their positions, but they did well to press a show of strength, to make certain that the half-Qatabani understood that the warriors of Saba' would not give up without a fight.

    The besiegers outside the fortress could not know that Zaadi had removed his ranged units from the walls, but they did take note of the suddenly clear skies. With upturned eyes and cautious optimism the infantry carrying the ladders began to quicken their feet, shooting past the siege towers that plod forward with such agonizing slowness. In a few short moments, they had passed over the last stretch of smoothed earth before the battlements, and they made themselves ready for the first push.

    A stalwart cry was raised by the men below the walls, and one by one their long ladders were slowly tilted up towards the waiting Saba' defenders. Yet as those lighter implements of assault swung skyward, it rapidly became clear just how hurried and haphazard the half-Qatabani's siege was. The ladders were rickety and irregular, with perhaps half of them, at most, possessing a length fitting for the walls they were meant to overcome. The rest either fell short, terminating well below the crest of the spear-capped battlements, or were overlong and cumbersome, reaching far above the heads of the Saba'. However, despite those failings, the warriors of Far'am's people made do as best they could. The shorter lengths were placed at sharper angles, the longer set further away, and before long there was nothing left but for the men below to climb.

    All along the length of the fortress' southern ramparts, the half-blood warriors began to ascend, each man climbing with one hand, the other holding his shield above his head. Those nearest the ladders' feet clambered to be the next to go up, to have the chance to draw first blood, while those further back hastily went to assist the teams pushing the siege towers. Yet still there came no reports from the defenders above. There were no more arrows fired out, nor stones cast down, and no spearmen moved to push off the ladders that now lay so heavy with attackers. Zaadi's bowmen had returned, rapidly carrying out their lord's orders, but once finished they too remained at peace, giving no combat to the half-Qatabani rising up the fortress walls.

    As the soldiers of Far'am's people neared the crest of the citadel's ramparts, the first of the siege towers reached the thick stone walls as well. The lumbering wooden engines creaked and swayed with the weight of so many men within them, but they stood fast. Then, slowly, their faces opened, broad gangways swinging down and bridging the gap between the towers and the fortress walls.

    Despite their ponderous descents, the drawbridges of the siege towers came down with stone-splitting crashes, and the half-Qatabani warriors were bounding across them before the last echoes had snapped from the nearby mountains. From east to west, the invading men of Far'am's tribe were gaining the heights of Zaadi's home, and they moved forward with vengeance and glory ringing in their upraised voices. However, as soon as they set foot atop the broad wall that comprised the fortress' outermost defense, they fell silent. The men looked about themselves, searching for some enemy to strike, but they saw only friends. Zaadi's soldiers, the Saba', were nowhere to be found.

    Confusion and a note of panic sliding through the half-Qatabani ranks, the attackers shuffled along the walls, seeking some way into the citadel's courtyard. Yet they could find no ladders to bring them to the stones of the interior, and the rough wooden staircases that had earlier afforded passage down were nowhere to be found. Unsure of what else to do, or where to look, the half-Qatabani pushed toward the squat towers that periodically protruded from the walls. The men of Far'am's tribe moved cautiously, their shields raised and locked together as they made for the nearest structure, and when they finally reached it, understanding of Zaadi's plan dawned upon them.

    Looking into the round tower's interior, the half-Qatabani saw that the stairwell within had been pulled down hastily, the pile of rubble below augmented by a scattering of the dry wood and straw Zaadi's bowmen had gathered, and over it all hung the heavy scent of oil. As the men above stared into the fuel-filled chasm, they noticed a flickering shadow in the doorway below. A flaming brand then streaked across their vision, arcing into the room, and the small space exploded in light and heat. The oil-soaked wood and hay caught in an instant, and fire spiraled up the tower's hollow center. The half-Qatabani nearest the rising inferno were scorched before they could even think to turn about and run, their throats and lungs burned from the inside as they inhaled air hot enough to sear hearthstones. Those behind them struggled to escape, but they too were caught in the hellish blaze, their screams nearly overpowered by the roar of the flames. The tower itself was made of stone and would not burn, but all within would be consumed, and there would be no hope for Far'am's people to breach Zaadi's fortress by that way.

    Only a handful of soldiers from within the now flaming tower were near enough to an exit to escape, and as they regained the walls and open air they saw with horror that their so recent trial had been but one of many. Every raised buttress and outcropping on the fortress walls had become a furnace, the fires within licking through arrow-slits and blackened doorframes. The cries of vengeance had turned to wailing laments, screams for mercy, but there was no help to be found. The half-Qatabani already upon the walls could not move forward, for there was no way to enter Zaadi's citadel from where they stood, but from the plain below there still rose a steady stream of men on the ladders and within the siege towers. Those above tried to halt them, to turn them about, but the rising tide of soldiers could not hear their comrades' warnings, and could see only smoke above the fotress, but not its source, nor the threat they were moving toward.

    As more and more pushed their way onto the battlements, the press became increasingly dense and panicked. The flames would not spread beyond the confines of the stone buildings in which they had been set, but a thick black smoke hung in the air, choking any who stood before it as the shifting winds drove it this way and that. And yet still there was nothing the half-blood attackers could do. Nothing but to huddle together and pray that the gods would see them through, somehow.

    More half-Qatabani continued to climb the ladders and siege towers, but slowly the terror upon the walls made itself felt in those ascending, and they quickly relyed the sentiment to the soldiers upon the plain. As the army below began to comprehend that something was amiss, they moved closer to the ladders, shouting questions to those above, asking what was wrong, and what might be done to help them. But then suddenly they too were cast in panic and disarray as Zaadi's machinations came to full fruition.

    While the fires had burned, the Saba' had stolen forth from the citadel in secret, exiting via a postern gate at the far side of the walls. Smoke had whipped over the ramparts and dusty plain, concealing their movements, and taking full advantage of the half-Qatabani's ignorance, Zaadi had moved behind the rearmost units of the besieging force. When finally his men were prepared, he had raised his spear high into the air, held it motionless for a moment, and then with finality pulled the haft down quickly, thrusting its point into the earth.

    As one man, the Saba' warriors had loosed their arrows, firing them in high arcs over the battlefield. They shot from such a distance, and at so sharp an angle, that the speedier among them had already sent a second volley before the first had even struck. And then, with shouts of confusion and pain from the half-blood enemy, the deadly rain began to fall.

    At first, the soldiers of Far'am's people did not know what was happening. Before them, the men upon the walls still continued to search for some way forward, or back, but they had given no report of archers or slingers firing from within the keep. And yet, for the besiegers on the plain, death surrounded them on all sides. Men were falling headlong into the dust, their necks and backs bristling with the feathered shafts of Saba' arrows, and those living could find no source of the barbed rain. After a moment more of utter terror, the half-Qatabani then noted with dark brows that the arrows falling from the sky were only striking them in their backs. They turned on their heels, raising their shields as the did so, and saw behind them the entirety of Zaadi's garrison. The Saba' spear- and axemen lay locked in tight lines, and just past them stood the archers, firing mercilessly and without break.

    The half-Qatabani had been surrounded. On one side lay fire and stone, on the other brittle iron and red vengeance, and they were trapped. If they broke and routed, Zaadi's men would surely slaughter them all, just as the Lord of the Northpass had promised. They would be killed one by one as they attempted to flee, pierced in their backs as they sought the coward's escape.

    The commander of the besieging army, the man who had executed the Saba' saboteurs at daybreak, looked from his men to those of Zaadi, and his brow creased heavily. Sadness and resignation flooded his features as he saw his inevitable doom, and that of his people, but after the initial wave of shameful self-pity he fought to master himself. Nearly half of his force lay trapped on the walls, unable to come down for the fools still trying to climb the ladders, and it was clear to him that his tribes would be broken that day. Yet despite this, it was still possible for some of them to free themselves, to escape the maw of oblivion. All that was necessary was that the Saba' be occupied, their gaze held fully, while those that could fled across the dusty plain, retreating to the borderlands which the half-bloods called home. Such a mercy was still within their grasp.

    The half-Qatabani general called for runners, as many as could be found, and as soon as each arrived, he quickly sent them away again, with orders to sound a general retreat. As the last of them departed, he then raised his spear and began to charge toward the Saba' lines, his voice ringing out in fury and challenge. The half-blood warriors nearest to him followed suit, running at his side with weapons and shields held tightly, while behind them the remainder of the besieging force began to break and flee in all directions.

    Zaadi's soldiers had set themselves far from the half-Qatabani ranks, as far as they could while still being able to fire upon them. However, the half-blood commander and those following him moved with a speed and fury terrible to behold, their tired limbs driven by rage and the certainty that they were doomed men, whose shortened lives would afford no more than a single chance to strike at the murderer who had slain their lord. Far'am's people would take that chance.

    As they sped across the plain, a cloud of dust climbed behind them, its tenebrous shade mixing with that of the smoke hanging in the air. The cover would hide some shape of the fleeing half-Qatabani's movements, and for their commander was glad. The thought briefly smoothed his features, putting a glint of satisfaction in his eyes, but it was quickly wiped away as he and his men met the Saba' lines.

    The half-Qatabani barreled into Zaadi's ranks without thought for safety or survival. They knew their feet were already treading the shores of night, and the knowledge set them into a frenzy of bloodlust and violence. By day's end they would walk the sunset lands, but would not enter them alone.

    The spearmen lunged forward, batting away the Saba' warriors weapons, and the swordsmen swung wildly, hewing a path of blood and agony through Zaadi's ranks. On they pressed, without mercy, and though many of the half-blood soldiers fell, they soon had carved a path clear through the Saba' linemen, reaching the archers who were hiding behind them. The bowmen were unarmored, and poorly armed for close combat, and the warriors of Far'am's people cut them down in droves, swinging their weapons with the cold detachment of a farmer bringing in the autumn's harvest.

    They continued to reap their bloody harvest, and for a moment it seemed they might even be triumphant. All around the half-blood commander, his soldiers were fighting valiantly, heedless of the wounds they had suffered or the weariness creeping through their limbs. They were borne up by glory, honor, and vengeful justice, and though they would surely fall the moment their combat had ended, until that time they were as gods in human raiment, untouchable and almighty. That was what the leader of the half-Qatabani saw as he looked on his men, but then his gaze moved toward the Saba' surrounding him, and the sensation of immortality passed in an instant. There were many dead scattered over the plain, half-Qatabani and Saba' alike, but as the berserker charge had driven into Zaadi's ranks, the Saba' had calmly closed behind their attackers, encircling them. The half-bloods had indeed fought valiantly, but they were alone, with enemies on all sides, pressing ever further in. Looking about himself, the half-Qatabani commander saw that his men had had the same thought, and with it their spirits had broken. They continued to struggle against their foes, but their strength was gone, and soon enough they were falling faster than the Saba'. The commander hacked left and right, delaying a death that was now inescapable, and he strained to see past the battle raging around him, to discover whether any of his people had escaped. However, the smoke and dust concealed everything beyond that which immediately surrounded him. He was trapped in a shrinking world of gore, pain, and oblivion.

    He gave a ragged cry of defiance, hoping to rally his men for a final charge, but his call was cut short when an arrow struck him. The feathered shaft buried itself deeply in his chest, and he fell to his knees, clutching at his breast. He gazed down at the hateful object, blood welling around it, and then turned his eyes to the men about him. They were falling one by one, looks of sadness and terror fixed on their faces. They had fought as men, together, but they were dying scared and alone.

    The life ebbing from his body, the half-blood commander dropped toward his right, collapsing in the dust, and as he lay there he saw nearby a soldier staring wide-eyed and breathing shallowly. The man was on the brink, looking into worlds unknown, and it was clear that fear was all that he felt. The commander had little strength left within him, but with that which remained, he pulled himself toward the dying man. He then slowly reached out, taking the man's hand in his, and together they slid into the dark.



    Continue to Chapter 6 - Part VII
    Last edited by Kilo11; April 15, 2020 at 06:54 AM.
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  7. #287
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 15]

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11 View Post
    Hah! I got you both. April Fool's!!!
    You got me good. I congratulate you good sir.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11 View Post
    Thanks Turk! The next scene with Mubsamat is indeed a good one, and a turning point of sorts, but before we get to that we have to go back and see how Zaadi is doing. The next update is all about him, and though it's a bit longer, it is an intense one that I think most will find engaging.
    You were right, it was pretty intense and I loved it! I won't say anything more about the chapter itself in case people haven't read it yet. They should enjoy it spoiler-free.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11 View Post
    Oh, and thanks again for providing the little pointers to the missing words. Your eagle-eyes are appreciated! :thumbups2
    You're welcome! I did a complete reread of my AAR recently and, my God, you wouldn't believe how many mistakes or missing words I found.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    I think my eagle-eyes have seen something. In the 21th paragraph, second sentence it reads: 'The cover would hide some shape of the fleeing half-Qatabani's movements, and for their commander was glad.'
    I think the word "that" is missing in 'and for "here" their commander was glad.'

  8. #288
    McScottish's Avatar The Scribbling Scotsman
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: Mar 15]

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11 View Post
    Hah! I got you both. April Fool's!!!

    I have no intention of letting off of this, and even if I did need a break from writing for a bit, I have a fairly good backlog of updates ready to post, so there would be a long cushion in which you all would still get content. So have no worries lads, Written in Sand will be continuing without a hitch. I just wanted to get a small prank in yesterday. Glad it got someone Anyway, now to the response to the latest comments, and on to the next update!

    You son of a motherless goat! You did get me. Well, in that case, I'll just keep reading and keep loving the AAR.

  9. #289
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: April 2]

    Wow, Zaadi is a cunning leader! I especially like the way that you show readers the perspective of the commander of the besieging army and the choices he makes.

  10. #290

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: April 2]

    Quote Originally Posted by McScottish View Post
    You son of a motherless goat! You did get me. Well, in that case, I'll just keep reading and keep loving the AAR.
    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    You got me good. I congratulate you good sir.
    Hah! I'm glad I got someone. Thanks for being good sports my lads! And I hope the coming updates make up for my spot of fun at your expense

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    You were right, it was pretty intense and I loved it! I won't say anything more about the chapter itself in case people haven't read it yet. They should enjoy it spoiler-free.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11
    Oh, and thanks again for providing the little pointers to the missing words. Your eagle-eyes are appreciated! :thumbups2
    You're welcome! I did a complete reread of my AAR recently and, my God, you wouldn't believe how many mistakes or missing words I found.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    I think my eagle-eyes have seen something. In the 21th paragraph, second sentence it reads: 'The cover would hide some shape of the fleeing half-Qatabani's movements, and for their commander was glad.'
    I think the word "that" is missing in 'and for "here" their commander was glad.'
    Glad you liked it Turk! Even I didn't realize how intense that section was going to be, but each time I picked up my pencil, even more just started happening. I guess the lesson is that sometimes a story can get away from you, but it's rarely a bad thing when it does! And thanks also for finding more mistakes. The editor's eye is a writer's best friend!

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    Wow, Zaadi is a cunning leader! I especially like the way that you show readers the perspective of the commander of the besieging army and the choices he makes.
    Oh yeah he is. Zaadi is a punk and a brute, but he is sharp. Cause that's what you ultimately want in an antagonist.

    I am also glad the inclusion of the other perspective is nice. I think I might have violated some of my own writing rules there (I believe I switched perspective within a single scene, where I should have included a break), but the effect was worth it. I'll just need to recheck the scene again before I think of sending this final work anywhere though.




    And now, onto the next update, which will conclude this action-packed chapter!
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  11. #291

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: April 2]

    Continued from Chapter 6 - Part VI


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 6
    The Highest Eagles


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part VII)


    Passing beneath mighty stone arches adorned with intricately carved patterns, moving out of the light of day and into shadow, the Queen Mubsamat strode toward the high-ceilinged room where the Saba' court lay gathered. It had been only an hours since Tharin had found her and told of the Nabati waiting outside Ma'rib, and Mubsamat had acted quickly. She had quietly sent her guard to seal the northeast entrance to the city, to ensure that none might approach the Nabati and speak with them, and with that accomplished she had then called for a meeting of the court, that she might finally make her move. After all, her new allies had arrived, and Zaadi's ilk were still far from Ma'rib. Now was her time to act.

    Her back straight, Mubsamat walked with purposeful strides, the click of her heels on the flagstones echoing down the passageway and announcing her arrival. When finally she reached the doorway of the large torch-lit room where the court had assembled, she was glad to see the lords and ladies all still murmuring amongst themselves in small knots, the groups split by clan and tribe. The nobles of Saba' had, to her surprise, been cooperative, and their fractious moods would make her current undertaking all the easier.

    She loudly threw open the heavy doors, stepped into the smoky chamber, and halted. Mubsamat stood silent, staring about her at the sheiks, sharifs, and petty warchiefs of the upland plateau, and then her gaze slid to the far end of the room. The nation of Saba' was as a nest of vipers, a confederacy of tribes each vying for power and dominion, and each ready to betray any other, should such duplicity be to their favor. Yet it was not always so. Across from where Mubsamat stood lay a raised dais, atop which was a solitary throne carved from red sandstone. In all her life, she had never seen the seat filled by woman nor man, but she knew that in ages past the Saba' had been a true nation, with true Kings and Queens. There had been one ruler to whom all bowed, and that individual had sat the blood-hued throne, alone and almighty.

    With determination hardening her brow, Mubsamat slowly began walking toward the platform, and one by one the other nobles grew quiet, their gazes following her. When she reached the edge of the raised space, she gingerly pulled the hem of her robe above her ankles, stepped up, and turned about. Mubsamat then waited, with every eye upon her, savoring the moment. The lords and ladies had become perfectly silent, and the soft crackle of the torches along the walls seemed suddenly loud, yet the Queen still did not speak. Instead, she looked about herself, methodically fixing each and every individual there with a gaze just for them. As her vision passed over the last face, she then smiled broadly, with mirth on her lips and malice in her eyes, the smile of a cat who has found prey.

    "Lords and Ladies of the Saba'," she began sweetly, "it gladdens me to see so many of you here now, for today our land regains the glory and might it once held." She paused briefly, and when she again continued it was with a matter-of-fact tone of voice. "As you all know, many months ago a great army set out in the north, and those long-sundered kinsmen to us, the Nabati, have since moved ever nearer to our domains. What some of you might not know is that even now that army lies in wait just beyond the walls of this very city."

    At the last words the room erupted into a frenzied hubbub of conversation. Some had heard of the party outside Ma'rib, but none had known it was the Nabati, and after the fall of Lihyan and Ma'in at the northerners' hands, the Saba' nobles could only imagine that they were next.

    As the lesser lords continued to shout and debate at cross-purposes, Mubsamat stood waiting, not saying a single word, and slowly she raised one hand. Not all took note of her subtle motion, but those that did fell quiet immediately, their faces looking expectant. Around those who were still, others then also stayed their tongues, until soon enough all in the room were again looking to Mubsamat in silence.

    "I understand the worries that you feel, bold Saba'," she said smoothly, "but I tell you now that such fears are unnecessary." She paused again, and looked about her with a penetrating gaze, before adding, "The Nabati are here by my wish."

    The hush over the Saba' nobles deepened, and the cleverer among them stared at Mubsamat with stony expressions, distrust and a creeping suspicion darkening their eyes. However, none spoke, and in that heavy silence the Queen continued in easy tones.

    "This nation was once the pride of all Arabia," she said, with a sweep of her arms, "and I tell you that with the northerners' aid, we will rise again to such heights. Kings and Emperors will come from all corners of the world to witness the majesty of our works, and we will bring our standard to every corner of Arabia, and beyond."

    Mubsamat then turned her back on the assembles lords and ladies, and stepped toward the red throne. When she reached its side, she laid a hand on the rough stone and breathed deeply, preparing herself for the final play. "Yet if we are to reach our full potential, we must become a true nation," she said earnestly, her voice suddenly louder, "and a true nation is led by a true Queen!" With a flourish of her robes, Mubsamat then turned back to face the nobles of the court, and she sat the heavy blood-hued throne.

    Silence enveloped the room, and from within that heavy still Mubsamat stared out in challenge. When finally she did speak, her words came low and threatening. "The Nabati are my allies," she hissed, "and I will use them to break the stubborn houses of Himyar, Qataban, and the Hadramawt. All will bow before us, before me, for I, Mubsamat, am Queen of the Saba'!"



    Continue to Chapter 7 - Part I
    Last edited by Kilo11; May 01, 2020 at 12:35 PM.
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  12. #292
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: April 2]

    Now that's a serious power play, proclaiming yourself the sole ruler of the nation. Mubsamat will get more than she bargained for, I think, with Mun'at. The moment was built up nicely and ended powerfully. This is a wonderful conclusion for the chapter.

    The blood-hued throne is a term that sparked my imagination in which I saw another epic tale unfold. I really like it.

    Great stuff Kilo11!

  13. #293
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: April 15]

    I agree, this is a fantastic power play and I'll be interested to see how her relationship with her ally develops. Great writing, indeed!

  14. #294

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: April 15]

    Before moving to specific responses to what you guys have said, I would like to give my most heartfelt thanks to all the readers of this thread, who together have gotten it to over 50,000 views!!! That is for me an amazing benchmark, and I am glad to have a group of folks who after nearly two years are still coming back to this story for more. Your feedback and thoughts have been hugely appreciated throughout, and I am always making improvements due to your guys' comments. So thanks for that, and I hope to see you all for another two years (just kidding; I think I will be done within another year, at most).

    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Now that's a serious power play, proclaiming yourself the sole ruler of the nation. Mubsamat will get more than she bargained for, I think, with Mun'at. The moment was built up nicely and ended powerfully. This is a wonderful conclusion for the chapter.

    The blood-hued throne is a term that sparked my imagination in which I saw another epic tale unfold. I really like it.

    Great stuff Kilo11!
    Yeah. Mubsamat is basically a boss. I have actually been reading Written in Sand to a writers' group I am part of, and in one of the last sessions we got the part in chapter 3 when she is first threatened by Zaadi and his allies, and some of the people in the group were unhappy that the one female character was put in such a weak position. I always thought it was good to have her have that early though, as she just gets more and more bada** as the story moves forward. I am glad you liked that part though, and that the execution seems to work well.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    I agree, this is a fantastic power play and I'll be interested to see how her relationship with her ally develops. Great writing, indeed!
    Thanks Alwyn. Things between her and Mun'at definitely become more interesting, and also more intricate. It is something that I think allows me good room to explore some deeper themes of the story, and I hope as things go forward that you will all enjoy it.




    Anyway, now for a new update of Written in Sand!!!
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  15. #295

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: April 15]

    Continued from Chapter 6 - Part VII


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 7
    Drawing the Net


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part I)


    Mubsamat had declared herself sole ruler of the confederated tribes of the high plateau, sitting a throne that for centuries had remained empty, and her words hung heavy in the smoky air above the Saba' court. The lords and ladies and lesser nobles stared at her in silence, and she looked on each of them, weighing their expressions. Some had hopeful, even eager looks in their eyes, yet there were many whose faces were blank, and a few with black brows. Yet Mubsamat gazed on them all easily, marking which would be friends in the weeks and months to come, which would be adversaries, and she was gladdened to see the balance tipping in her favor. Zaadi and his ilk were not among those before her, and could not be forgotten, but for the time being they were scattered across the northern breadth of the Sarat Mountains, their strength withered by isolation and the foolishness of the Lord of the Northpass.

    A long moment of silence passed, and when Mubsamat was certain that none would speak out of turn, she again continued. "I am your Queen," she said in lighter tones, "but our nation is one of many peoples, many tribes, and I would not meddle in your own affaris." She laid her hands on the arms of the throne, gently grasping the cracked stone at its foremost edge. "I sit this seat not to dictate or command you about," she went on mildly, "but to lead us. For we are in need of a leader. Year by year, our fortunes have slowly waned while our neighbors have grown steadily more powerful, and our fractious natures will not hold our enemies at bay.

    "Think on the Nabati, who are even now standing on our very doorstep!" she said more loudly, suddenly rising and pointing toward the chamber's entrance. "When they set off on their grand conquest so many months ago, what did we do? Did the assembled nobles of this court agree on a course of action, a way to befriend or defeat the threat rising in the north? Or did we bicker and debate without end in sight, each man more concerned with his own fate than that of this nation." She stared out in mild accusation, and saw with satisfaction averted gazes and cheeks crimson with shame.

    "But I acted." she went on. "I saw the dangers and opportunities lying before us, and alone, I offered our friendship to the army marching south, taking what might have been our most terrifying enemy and turning it into an ally. We needed a leader, and when no other would take the burden, I did so, alone."

    "That is all well and good, but it was not your place to act alone!"

    Mubsamat looked out with fire in her eyes. "Who said that?" she hissed, searching for the one who had dared to challenge her. No answer came, but she saw to her left a growing circle, its center fixed on the lord of the Yami tribe, one of the few men who earlier had gazed on her with defiance.

    The Queen descended from the raised dais, and began slowly walking toward him. Her heels clicked lightly with each step, and though the sound was small, it seemed suddenly immense in the close still that had fallen over everything. When she finally reached where the man stood, she paused and looked on him in a calculating manner, before flicking her gaze to a younger lord standing beside and slightly behind the the Yami elder. From the curves of the younger man's face, she could see he was the defiant noble's son, and Mubsamat addressed him, ignoring his gray-maned father.

    "Young Sharif," she said sweetly, her red lips curled into a soft smile, "you are heir to the mantle of the Yami, are you not?" The young man glanced at his father before nodding quickly. "Yes, I had thought so," Mubsamat continued, "and I am sure you are as wise as you are strong, and handsome, and so I would ask you: do you believe I acted out of place, that I was wrong to befriend the Nabati and prevent war with them?" The man again looked to his father, but Mubsamat raised a hand to stop him. She placed her fingers against his cheek, lightly brushing his skin while turning his eyes back to hers, and with a gentle caress she added, "I asked you a question, not your father."

    Gazing on her smile, feeling the warmth of her touch, the man stammered, "N-n-no my Queen. I... I believe you acted rightly."

    Mubsamat's smile broadened. "See, I was right. You are as wise as you are handsome." The man involuntarily blushed, and the Queen turned back to the Yami elder. She leaned in close, and spoke quietly, that only he might hear. "I would suggest that you listen to your son," she said, "or I fear he may be forced to lead your people sooner than you might wish." The man looked down, uncertainty filling his eyes, and Mubsamat began walking back to the throne.

    As she reached it, she turned about, again facing the assembled nobles, but she did not sit. Instead, she raised one arm, pointing toward the chamber doors. "I, Mubsamat, am friend to the army that waits outside Ma'rib, and with the Nabati's aid, I promise that we will do more than merely regain the trade routes we have lost or assert ourselves across our hereditary lands. We will take the seats of Qataban, Hadramawt, and Himyar, drawing all of southern Arabia under our banner." She then lowered here arm and stared menacingly at the Yami noble who had spoken out, adding, "But before we embark on such quests, we will root out and crush any opposition that may be found upon the high plateau, for dissension will not be tolerated in this nation. From this day forth, we are Saba' first, and Maqil, Hashidi, Yami or otherwise second. And any who forget this will be justly dealt with."

    At the last words there rose a low murmur, but before any could properly object, Mubsamat, with a flick of her wrist, motioned for her guards to clear the room. The nobles were rapidly herded toward the doors, each one's face betraying his or her inner allegiance, but all clearly taken aback by Mubsamat's boldness. Yet soon enough, they were gone, and in the silence that followed, the Queen let out a deep breath of satisfaction.



    Continue to Chapter 7 - Part II
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  16. #296
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: May 1]

    Mubsamat does seem like a bold leader, and a clever one too, both in the way that she responds to the unspoken thoughts of her listeners and in her reply to the heir of the Yami.

    (I wondered whether you intended to leave in the marks which seem to indicate emphasis in the Queen's dialogue with Sharif. Maybe you're experimenting, or possibly you're writing a version of this as a play.)

    Congratulations on reaching the milestone of over 50,000 views!
    Last edited by Alwyn; May 03, 2020 at 06:57 AM.

  17. #297
    Turkafinwë's Avatar The Sick Baby Jester
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: April 15]

    Congrats on the 50K! Whisky and beers for everyone!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11 View Post
    Yeah. Mubsamat is basically a boss. I have actually been reading Written in Sand to a writers' group I am part of, and in one of the last sessions we got the part in chapter 3 when she is first threatened by Zaadi and his allies, and some of the people in the group were unhappy that the one female character was put in such a weak position. I always thought it was good to have her have that early though, as she just gets more and more bada** as the story moves forward. I am glad you liked that part though, and that the execution seems to work well.
    I've never realy understood that reasoning. Why give a character, you wish to follow on their journey, everything they want right from the start? It's way more satisfactory to see a character struggle, work and take risks to achieve their goal rather than just giving it to them. Ironically, you could easily have given her a strong position from the start if Mubsamat was less important for the story, as a character. Then she could have been Queen of Saba right from the start and it would've been fine because you wouldn't need to know anything about her to move the story further. I much rather like what you have done, Mubsamat is a woman of great intellect and boldness but she is not a God that is all-powerful and gets what she wants in a fingers' click. Oh well, each to their own.

  18. #298

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: April 15]

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    Congratulations on reaching the milestone of over 50,000 views!
    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    Congrats on the 50K! Whisky and beers for everyone!
    Thanks guys! I do love milestones like that, and 50K is a solid one to have reached. And on that note, I believe congratulations are in order for the both of you as well, as your guys' AARs are also right over the 50K mark now! So drinks for everyone!

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    (I wondered whether you intended to leave in the marks which seem to indicate emphasis in the Queen's dialogue with Sharif. Maybe you're experimenting, or possibly you're writing a version of this as a play.)
    Ugh. My mistake. Thanks for the catch Alwyn. It has been remedied, and it most certainly was not something experimental. I write everything in LaTeX, and in that program you put in the typesetting yourself (sort of like how one can write in the BBcode manually here). Like a fool, I sometimes forget to replace the TeX code markup with the appropriate BBcode variant.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwyn View Post
    Mubsamat does seem like a bold leader, and a clever one too, both in the way that she responds to the unspoken thoughts of her listeners and in her reply to the heir of the Yami.
    She definitely is. If she has one flaw, it is in being too aware of her cleverness, but in her defense, she does have that trait in spades. At any rate, there will be much push and pull between her and those she stands against, even if that push and pull is hard to notice because of its subtlety.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kilo11
    Yeah. Mubsamat is basically a boss. I have actually been reading Written in Sand to a writers' group I am part of, and in one of the last sessions we got the part in chapter 3 when she is first threatened by Zaadi and his allies, and some of the people in the group were unhappy that the one female character was put in such a weak position. I always thought it was good to have her have that early though, as she just gets more and more bada** as the story moves forward. I am glad you liked that part though, and that the execution seems to work well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Turkafinwë View Post
    I've never realy understood that reasoning. Why give a character, you wish to follow on their journey, everything they want right from the start? It's way more satisfactory to see a character struggle, work and take risks to achieve their goal rather than just giving it to them. Ironically, you could easily have given her a strong position from the start if Mubsamat was less important for the story, as a character. Then she could have been Queen of Saba right from the start and it would've been fine because you wouldn't need to know anything about her to move the story further. I much rather like what you have done, Mubsamat is a woman of great intellect and boldness but she is not a God that is all-powerful and gets what she wants in a fingers' click. Oh well, each to their own.
    I agree. Having her work her way up is more interesting, and a stronger story device overall. Though to the critics' benefit, I think much of their unhappiness with that first scene was the heavy undertone of possible rape. I think that made some of them uncomfortable. Though on the other hand, one of them thought that was a perfect detail, as it makes sense in the timeframe and in that situation. I guess the upshot of it all is that you can't please everyone, and you have to make some decisions for yourself, knowing that certain readers will not like them. Oh well. That's life.
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  19. #299

    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: April 15]

    Continued from Chapter 7 - Part I


    Dramatis Personae

    Nabati:

    Mun'at Ha'Qadri: General of the Nabati army, tasked with uniting the tribes of Arabia and subduing the Saba' confederations that control Arabia Felix.
    Shullai Ha'Maleki: Prince of the Nabati, riding south under Mun'at's command.
    Ravîv'êl Bikrum: Crown Prince of the Nabati. Currently governing the conquered settlement of Dedan.
    Malka Qênu: King of the Nabati, and leader of the united tribes.

    Rana'in: Elder warrior and long-time friend of Mun'at.
    Khalil: Raider under Mun'at's command, usually tasked with leading the cavalry and light skirmishers.
    Haza'el: Captain of the Nabati.
    Wayyuq: A spy and pathfinder in the service of the Nabati, but not of their tribe.

    Sabeans (Saba'):

    Mubsamat: Queen of the Saba' with ambitions to end the tribal rivalries that plague her people.
    Tharin: Captain of Mubsamat's guard, tasked with contacting the approaching Nabati on Mubsamat's behalf and bringing them over to her cause.
    Zaadi Il'Bayyin: Often referred to as "Lord of the Northpass", Zaadi is a Qayl (higher official) of the Saba', and the ringleader of a group of nobles arrayed against Mubsamat.
    Halik Il'Yakif: Landowner and noble of the Saba' who initially followed Zaadi's plans but has since been turned by Mubsamat.
    Far'am Rafshan: Half-Qatabani exile who was in league with Zaadi Il'Bayyin, until Zaadi killed him.
    Karab: Son of the Athtar Yazi' clan and great leader of the Hashidi warriors of the northern plateau. He is also in league with Zaadi against Mubsamat.
    Hasan: Deceased brother of Karab.



    Chapter 7
    Drawing the Net


    --------------------------------------------------
    (Part II)


    Three hours after the bloodless coup d'état, Tharin returned to the Nabati army outside Ma'rib. The sun was sinking on the horizon, slowly descending behind the leaden volcanic peaks to the west, and the land was cast in sullen scarlet light and lengthening shade. As the captain of the Saba' approached the northerner's camp, his feet involuntarily slowed, and then, for reasons he did not himself know, he stopped completely.

    Tharin was midway between the city walls and the outermost Nabati sentries, no more than a bowshot from either, and before him he could easily make out the forms of Mun'at's men. They moved carelessly between their tents, lighting cooking fires, sharpening weapons, or dozing in the soft evening glow, and the ease with which they carried themselves suddenly set alight a curious anger in Tharin's heart. He did not understand it, did not know from where it had come or what he was to do about it, but in a sudden flash he felt an overwhelming hatred for the dusty warriors of the desert who lounged on the doorstep of the city of his people. Tharin ran a hand over his eyes and then rubbed his temples, trying to dislodge the feeling. He thought back on the weeks he had spent alongside the Nabati, the long evenings beside the fire, the battles fought against common foes, yet still there lay within him a hot ball of rage, slowly smoldering like an ember buried in sand.

    For what seemed an age of the world, he stood there, transfixed, his feet solidly planted beneath him as his eyes swept back and forth over the Nabati lines, his mind noting with cool detachment the changing pools of shadow as the sun dipped further in the sky. Then, finally, mercifully, he was roused from his torpor when a call rang out from one of his soldiers. At first, Tharin did not respond, but the Saba' spearmen hailed him again, and at long last the southern captain regained himself. He shook the wave of contempt from his mind, all the while wondering from where it had come, and he crossed the final distance to the temporary home of the army of Edum.

    Tharin absent-mindedly greeted his comrade as he approached, but continued past without stopping, moving toward the center of the northerner's encampment. He knew he would find Min'at there, and he was to deliver a message from Mubsamat, one which required a measure of haste. He stepped smartly, moving with ease and speed, and before long he was standing before Mun'at's canvas home. Tharin stared on it for a moment, and was again suddenly unsure of himself, the feeling setting him ill at ease. He tried to move his legs, to enter the weather-worn tent of the General of Edum, but he was unable to command his body. Around him men and women were going about their business, some eying him curiously, but the captain of the Saba' was again fixed where he stood.

    His limbs rebelling against his will, Tharin feared he might stay there the whole night, looking the fool and failing his Queen, until blessedly the flap of Mun'at's tent was thrown open and the general stepped out into the cooling air of dusk.

    "Ah, Tharin," Mun'at called out companionably, a narrow smile on his lips, "what news have you from your nobles? Will they receive us now, as you and your queen had hoped?"

    Tharin swallowed and forced a weak smile, hoping its insincerity was not as clear as he feared it to be. "My Queen has met with the lords and ladies of the Saba'," he began, "and she has convinced the greater part of them that you are worthy of trust, that you are honorable. But there remain a portion who refuse to be swayed by words alone."

    "I would not blame them," Mun'at replied calmly, "for honor vouchsafed is seldom as reliable as honor shown. But surely those still unsure of our intent could be moved if I were to meet them, to speak with them plainly and explain our wishes." The general then raised one arm and stepped toward Tharin, his palm facing down in gesture of calming. "I know you serve your queen, Tharin," he continued, "and I believe you if you say she has done her best to convey that we are truly here as friends, but a man cannot be taken at his word unless he himself has given it, freely and for all to see. I would ask that I be brought to your council of nobles and allowed to address them myself."

    "No!" Tharin shouted, the sudden outburst turning the heads of all nearby, and causing Mun'at to take a step back, a perplexed look upon his brow. "I was there at the council," he lied, "and I saw the unspoken worries of the dissident lords." Tharin had no plan, but he had started down a course that afforded no retreat, and so he embraced his woven tale with earnestness. "My land bleeds already." he continued. "The rebellious sheiks and sharifs fight across the length of the northern borders, and in this time of uncertainty, the other nobles will not blindly put faith in you. My Queen is trusted by many, and her words of assurance hold much sway, but they are not enough. If you wish to be a friend to the Saba', to win the good graces of the scattered tribes of the high plateau, you must show that you are here as our ally. You must act the friend, not just say that are one. If you do not, these people will turn on you, despite mine and the Queen's words, and they will refuse to tolerate your presence within the borders of Saba'." He shook his head, adding, "You must help us restore order to our nation."

    Mun'at stood silent, his eyes fixed on Tharin for a long, drawn moment. The Saba' captain breathed slowly, and though he could not be sure, he thought he recognized a note of uncertain but rising belief in the general before him. It gladdened Tharin, and hoping to capitalize on Mun'at's need to act with honor, he added, "Please, General, help my people."

    Mun'at's eyes narrowed for the merest fraction of a second, and he then looked down to the dirt, seeming lost in thought. After a time so, he turned his gaze back to Tharin. "I must think on this, and take counsel with my companions," he said, "yet I would ask that you remain in our camp this night, should we have need of you." Tharin nodded and Mun'at spun on his heel, returning to the shadowy interior of his tent.



    Continue to Chapter 7 - Part III
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  20. #300
    Alwyn's Avatar Frothy Goodness
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    Default Re: Written in Sand (Nabataean AAR for EBII)[updated: May 17]

    Your account of Tharin's rage and inner conflict is well done. Even acting instinctively, without a plan, Tharin seems to be serving his people well. I think Tharin made a good argument, I wonder if Mun'at thinks so too (it seems that he does).

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